SOFT_ANGEL replied to SOFT_ANGEL's topic in Have a problem? Looking for advice?@Willa @Abby-Joy Thank you so much for your advice! I don't find anyone around me to guide me. You both have one thing in common. You suggested that I stay best friends with this guy, but I accepted to be his girlfriend a week ago. Should we go back to being friends? And if yes, for how long? And should I ask my mom to help me pay a one bedroom apartment for now until I find a female christian roommate to leave with which will be more affordable? I wanted to live in the African guy's neighborhood is that a good idea? his neighborhood is near how college, 20 mns walk, I don't know how to cook and the young african man was willing to teach and help, plus I'll be able to see him more easily.
I am 21. I never had a boyfriend before. My parents have always overprotected me by not letting me have any contact with the opposite sex. I spent so long without guys contact that I spent 4 years in depression thinking that I was lesbian because I had feelings for some girls in high school and never fell for a guy before. My family wasn't here for me and I tried to kill myself several times. But now that I am in college, I met some guys and I started to have crushes and realized that its a different feeling and that I am not actually gay. During this moment that I started to talk to guys, my mom started to become closer and ask a lot of questions about my guy friends. But I realized that whenever I liked someone and wanted to give them a chance, she always found a reason why and told me that I like guys too much, I am promiscuous and all. 5 months ago I met this christian african guy who really likes me. He's too years younger than me. 19 and I am 21. I would like to give him a chance and when I told my mom she started to srceam at me with anger all the time, she came to the point of beating me up over that and told me that If I accept to be his girlfriend that he won't be welcomed at home. But this guy is like my bestfriend, I got mad after this last fight which happens a couple days ago, than I said yes to the guy. My mom says that she doesn't like him because he's african and he's lazy (because he likes to play and go out all the time and take few classes with not that good grades) ) and he doesn't have a job yet. I like him because he's a christians with good manners, he's willing to wait for marriage to have sex, is playful, don't smoke or drink, makes me happy, really likes me plus he said that he will look for a job and applied for more classes. At my college we need to work in other to gain practice hours before we able to graduate. So I am 2 years in advanced because I work at school better and faster. Even though he started only 1 semester after me. My dad was killed last year so my mom would like to remarry and live her life, so she told me that she won't be able to keep me here for too long and I have to get married fast with 3-4 years and have kids and that this christian guy won't be able to marry me that soon so I should find someone else. My mom makes my life impossible since and keeps on treating to kick me out of the house. WHO SHOULD I CHOOSE!? WHAT SHOULD I DO? WHAT WOULD BE A CHRISTIAN WAY OF SOLVING THIS ISSUE? SHOULD I MOVE OUT AND GET A STUDIO SINCE I JUST GOT A JOB AND STAY WITH HIM? OR SHOULD I LIVE HIM AFTER A WEEK RELATIONSHIP AND LIVE WITH MY MOM? PLEASE HELP ANYONE! I am feeling so depressed from this situation.