MBias

Hi, mat007! Like you, I have intrusive thoughts, and I also know others who struggled with similar thoughts, people which are now free from thoughts like these. I like to describe my situation as "friction" because I don't believe or want these thoughts. It often times brings down my mood as these thoughts are against God. I am recovering from depression and have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. I, too, refuse medication as I believe my illness is a spiritual and thought-pattern issue. However, these issues came when I was living a very sinful life, and they made me cling to God, which turned my life around. Praise the Lord!!! I would like to say if it wasn't for these issues happening to me then I would still be a luke-warm Christian living in a huge pile of sin. I am so thankful God has rescued me from that. I know the thoughts suck! I don't know how to help you other than saying you are not alone, and that you can overcome these thoughts by being open and honest with God about them! God has saved me from old thought processes I have experienced. God has brought me out of despair and hopelessness!!! I have a thread I started which is about thoughts, a member named Zoltan777 replied, and I think he had some great answers if you'd like to check that out. Notably, when I tried to get closer to God during my struggles, the stronger the thoughts became which leads me to believe they were/are from the enemy trying to hurt my walk with Jesus. I am learning to just tell God my thoughts I experienced, tell him my thoughts about those thoughts and then relax! I truly try to just give it to Jesus, as hard as that can be! I will pray for you because I do know this struggle! My thoughts are not exactly like yours but like yours, my thoughts are untrue and just plain wrong - far from what I want. I believe thoughts like these try to keep us bound! God can set us free! You know I just bought a book on my kindle from Joyce Meyer called "Battlefield of the Mind", it might be something that would interest you too! I can update you with my thoughts once I am finished with it! Feel free to message me anytime! I'm so happy to have fellowship with others who have my similar struggles or were victorious in these struggles! It's great knowing we are not alone! I claim that we overcome this! In Jesus's name, Amen!

Hi, everyone! My name is Michelle, and I am 26 years old. I am married to a wonderful man, and I have 2 overweight cats haha. I don't really know what else to say about myself, haha, but I'd be glad to answer any questions. Now to get started: I am new to this site and so eager to be here to have fellowship with you all! I am having a rough time right now. Something I am ashamed of as it’s a terrible trial for me. I keep saying it’s a trail. I am fairly new in Christ. I have been a believer since I was little, but didn’t truly come to Christ until this year. I was a sinful believer, as sad as that sounds. I really only prayed to God when I needed something or was super scared. I had a strong urge inside myself to start going to church and to thank God for all my blessings – you know before something bad happened (which I know is not how God works haha, but that was my mind last year). I did not thank God as I was putting it off and putting it off, although it was a simple prayer away. I also never started going to church. My life was just getting more and more sinful as I gave into some temptations. That’s when it hit – on the night of March 15, I fell into a great despair and depression. I became very clinging to my husband, poor him. I didn’t know what could help, not even my husband could help me, and I knew in my spirit I had to turn to God. I started attending church, praying, and spending at least an hour a day with God in devotion. I was still very selfish in all this as I was only focused on getting better and not truly on my relationship with God. It eventually grew that wanting a relationship and I finally felt my time was not wasted. Soon, my eagerness of my devotional time dwindled and it started feeling like a chore. I started doing it less and less as I was feeling better and better. God freed me from my depression, the worst time of my life, and this is how I thank Him. So saddening. I started skipping church some and now I haven’t gone to church in over a month. I felt like I could not open up to anyone there, although they were extremely nice and welcoming people. Anyway, when I first had my depression, I started experiencing conflicting thoughts about God, bad things. Things I disagreed with but they kept popping up in my thoughts. I prayed for God to soften my heart to give me more faith. God helped me so much, and I rarely ever experienced conflicting thoughts. I really struggled with it thinking “Oh, how can God still love me when I think these terrible things about Him! Things I don’t think are true!” “These thoughts are unforgivable!” One day, I woke up and had this random thought, that I know to be from the Holy Spirit, I thought “God loves me. God forgives me.” It truly felt it! I was so thankful and thanked and praised God, but I didn’t start going to church more or anything. I was very selfish and still focused on myself and my happiness in this world. However, now, it’s bad and worse! I am miserable! I keep thinking that I am a wretch! A fool! Like God describes people like me in the bible. I pray for this to go away and I calm victory over this trail. I, now, struggle with if God would forgive me again, especially now that it’s worse, in my opinion. I just would love to hear any experiences that are similar to mine because when I hear struggles I hear people talk about struggles with the world and not with God. It’s very hurtful, saddening, and I truly am miserable! I know to cling to God! I am back to being a dedicated Christian! I love God and desperately want to have an amazing relationship with God!! I don't really know what to expect as far as feedback, but I am just happy to have you all to share it with!!! I am just truly happy to share this as it is a lot to keep it inside myself! Thank you, everyone! Thank you for reading! I hope God blesses your day! <3 Thank you again! Michelle *Sorry for the bad grammar, just typing away haha.