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Daughter of God

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About Daughter of God

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  1. Daughter of God

    Job Interview-- Need Prayers!!!

    Thank you! It went well! We scheduled a second interview for tomorrow evening because my video wasn't working. I'm kind of glad about the video glitch -- this wasn't THE interview, so I'll have time to prepare. I've been all out of sorts since waking up this morning. Worried, anxious, sad. I can't tell what's wrong! I don't think much has changed, diet, or anything. Doing pretty well on sleep. I hope and pray I'm not being attacked. I really need to keep my psychological balance right now. I'm going to have interviews right and left all week!
  2. Daughter of God

    Job Interview-- Need Prayers!!!

    Another interview this morning! Over Skype, here in Korea. The position seems even better, but I'm torn until the other one... Please pray for me!!!
  3. Daughter of God

    Need MASSIVE Prayers to stay on God's Path

    I feel so guilty I stayed up late again last night. Then I feel guilty for feeling guilty. There's a tiredness in my bones.
  4. Daughter of God

    Job Interview-- Need Prayers!!!

    Please pray it's the right one and I get the job if so. Or if not, that I get the right one. I'm changing jobs in Korea and I don't even speak the language. Can't afford to come home yet, no family to fall back on. I really need to find the right situation and some stability to get my life in order.
  5. Daughter of God

    Need MASSIVE Prayers to stay on God's Path

    Feeling alone. And SO tired. Sleep deprived, drained from self injury. Sick. Another mile walk to work, another 9 hour day on my feet. I need my weekend back, and to eat enough to use it this time.
  6. Daughter of God

    Need MASSIVE Prayers to stay on God's Path

    Weekend feels wasted. I haven't been eating. I didn't get the work done that I wanted to. I feel bad about it. I didn't write, either. I can still do that. But I still have more to do, too. Argh...I need more time than this job allows. I have 6 more weeks at it, too -- the boss pushed back my leave date because my replacement's paperwork is delayed. I don't feel I'm beginning the week well like last weekend. But I had a lot more to do this weekend, too. Really intimidating stuff. I did get some of it done. And maybe the application I've been trying to work on isn't for a good fit job? Or maybe it is, but I'm being unreasonable about time tables. If I can't start until June (God help me, if I have 2 weeks off UNpaid), maybe I have much more time to prepare. I need to finish that lesson plan sample and personal essay. And write back my friends. And references. And get some laundry done tonight. And. And. And.
  7. Daughter of God

    Need MASSIVE Prayers to stay on God's Path

    I feel awful today. I'm not entirely sure why...except that worries and fears have been eating away at me since I woke in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep for 3 hours. I was doing so well last night, too. Now I feel...sad. There's a job I really want, but I'm scared I won't be able to get a reference letter from someone back in the US, or that I won't be able to get it in time. My other job prospects are SO worrisome, for a number of reasons (shady employers, pay, locations, hours). I don't want to lose this opportunity, it's for a great position, and my hopes were high. Now I just feel so sad. I'm also just disappointed in myself, I think. I still freak out when I try to make certain changes in habit. I say "still," but it's only been a few days.
  8. Daughter of God

    Need MASSIVE Prayers to stay on God's Path

    My health is flagging, and temptations have been rough. But I'm holding on so far. I know I need to read my Bible more...I've just had worries creeping in again, especially about being paid in full by this potentially shady Korean company, and that unbalances me. Especially as a foreigner who doesn't speak any Korean, I'm not sure what I could even do legally if they don't come through. Also, I can't afford legal fees, and I need money to relocate to a different city in a month's time...
  9. Daughter of God

    Need MASSIVE Prayers to stay on God's Path

    Still fragile in my strength, but I'm trying. Not much chance to put my resolutions in action yet, which i really need and am praying for.
  10. Daughter of God

    Good Day to All

    Welcome! "The Lord withholds no good thing from those who walk in sincerity." -Ps. 84:11
  11. Daughter of God

    Need MASSIVE Prayers to stay on God's Path

    Hi, Paul. I'm doing a little better today. I found hope...in things I'd somehow overlooked before. Memories of moments, brief episodes, when I did break through the darkness...but I'd gotten scared and run away. But it was my choice, and I could've stayed. That proves that change is possible, that things can change if I...learn to sow what I want to reap. Instead of following an old script from the darkness, doing what I'm used to, over and over. So I'm going to try. I'm still at baby steps, not strong enough to walk yet. But I'm looking forward to better days. Thank you all so much for your prayers! I'm still a long way from home, but I think the worst may be over...
  12. Daughter of God

    Need MASSIVE Prayers to stay on God's Path

    I keep having fears that it's all hopeless, that I'll never make it out of isolation. I'm also having frightful temptations to go back to the Catholic church. To the ease and comfort of just disappearing into a pew and a routine, and going through the motions. It's tempting to believe that I'm "loved" by the spirit I felt so strongly there. The temptations and whispers from that spirit tell me that at least that's better than nothing. Even though that spirit kept me numb to my own feelings, while my desperation, irritability, loneliness, and anger grew and grew out of control, even while I tried to ignore them. Even though that spirit told me to isolate myself, that I didn't need any human love and that I should avoid any connections or relationships with others, even ordinary friendly talk with co-workers and classmates. Even though that spirit told me that I should give up all my dreams and just sink and give in to my exhaustion, disappearing from the world and waiting to die ("doing penance"). I know that's not God. That's not the God of my childhood. The God I remember and truly loved in my innocence. I never really loved the Catholic God. I just grew more and more focused on myself, actually, because I was frightened of punishment and of losing the comforting feelings they call "consolations." I became consumed with those thoughts, and lost all interest in the God I once loved, or in any real relationship. (Human and otherwise, even though deep down I did still long for both.) I was going to mention something else about Catholicism, something crucial, but I've forgotten. I still really fear lapsing back into it because it gets too painful to press on toward light and life. I want to go forward, not back. Hope is fragile, though. I have nothing to hang on to, and no discipline. I can't do everything on my own. I really need some concrete changes in my life, something to hold on to, and point to, and say, See -- I know things can change because they HAVE. They're starting to, so there's hope and reason to press forward.
  13. Daughter of God

    Need MASSIVE Prayers to stay on God's Path

    Thanks for your prayers. I'm not in a state to explain things right now...I'm just so relieved the weekend is finally here so I can rest. I'm praying I can get out of this situation into the right one without any more drama from this company. And that I close the door to the wrong ones so I can open it to the right ones... I'm just spinning right now, unable to get my bearings...
  14. Daughter of God

    Need MASSIVE Prayers to stay on God's Path

    I think I'm under attack. I haven't been praying or reading. I know God is still here but despair and bad habits have been threatening...I keep worrying how I'm going to fix this after a lifetime of trying.
  15. Daughter of God

    Need MASSIVE Prayers to stay on God's Path

    Yes, amen. things are still tumbling along faster than I can keep up...I just got home, and now i have to go straight to bed to get up in time for work again tomorrow...ahh, what a life. My replacement will get here by May 1st, I'm told -- thank God for that. That's when I can move on...
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