Paulie

Some updates. I doubt my case is important to you but I just wanted to share it. We broke up. I feel like now is absolutely the rightest time to fix my relationship with God, start anew, as a new person, ask for forgiveness for all my past mistakes and sins and choose a different path for my life. @JTC, I'll try to abstain from relationships from now on. With each relationship I lose more than I earn. Yes, it is an experience and you can grow as a person, learn from the mistakes, but it just drains you more and more on a psychological and spiritual level. I get less and less emotional. And I don't want to drain myself no more.

Well, you're right, once again. Some people don't see that as such a burden, some people do. I don't understand some of the troubles other couples are having, so it's very subjective. But I'm going to keep trying my best to overcome it. Without doing stupid things, of course, cause... yeah, sometimes you feel betrayed and want to get even, but that's hardly the wisest thing to do. You'll only disappoint yourself and start hating yourself for the things you do/did. And I'll start talking seriously with her about Christ and the Bible, after I remove the "log in my own eye" first, of course. If I Can't do it, and if God Won't do it - we'll split. It's never too late.

I'm 24, she's 30. And I know that it gets close to impossible, though there are still chances. See, there are certain qualities in that particular woman I love and cherish, and I think this is much more important than her sexual past (which is laughable by today's standards, I mean people her age had like 10-20 partners. Even teens here in my country aren't virgins so... yeah. About the double standards... I too can't stand them. It's exactly what you said, men are even proud they slept with as many women as possible. I don't get it... But I guess I don't have to look at it that way, I mean her past. They were serious about what was happening with them at the time, nobody used no one, so it's all good. Now, I can be the better provider in every other aspect of her life, cause... I don't think anyone of us cares about sex itself that much. And if it happens for us to split up, whatever, as you said - there's nothing wrong with staying single for the rest of your life. It's not like you're alone, you have God.

Alright, so I kinda messed up what I was trying to say. Of course I don't think I come before God (don't recall writing this). And as for the spirituality - yes, of course Christianity is the only way, I know that. I just meant for our lives here, that there are some good people who are spiritual and stuff and are just confused, not necessarily evil. They are capable of doing good and helping others, so it's kinda sad they're that confused and discouraged to accept God (as their Savior), cause they're not bad people. And yes, there are many fake Christians, but whatever, it's up to them. Well.. not exactly, it can be very misleading and they can push you away from faith, instead of helping you build one. Which is kinda evil. And you can call me fake too if you want, I don't mind. Hopefully I still got time to repair my friendship with God, so to speak.

Thank you for the replies, but I don't judge people on whether they are or are not Christians. I mean, yeah, it is cool to have friends who believe in Jesus, but I think spirituality matters more than what exactly you believe in, as long as it is something good and brings good to Earth. I prefer Muslims and Jews, even Eastern religions to atheists to be honest. Not all non-Christians are evil. They may very well be discouraged, depressed, and have like a thousand reasons not to have the greatest relationship with God. Given the fact we live in such a dehumanized society, it is pretty normal for the average person to doubt the things we know. Of course, that is Not an excuse, but I can see why there are so much non-believers. Most of them are evil, yes, they enjoy sinning and being disgraceful to God, BUT there are humans, who are perfectly fine (I even know people who are not Christians better than some Christian acquaintances I know) and I don't doubt their actions are out of love and respect, and not seeking personal benefits. @Omegaman 3.0 Thank you for the honesty, I've thought about that and it's really not that bad of a choice. There's nothing bad in being single for the rest of your life, Apostle Paul has already said it. But when you love someone, you can't just really give up on them like that, you know?

Hello, guys! I know it's a common problem, I've read a dozen of Christian articles on that topic, for half an year I've been trying to accept it and be okay with it. Trying to find the pros of a non-virgin girlfriend, telling myself I'm the better man, that she is with me and that's all that matters, that it's not a sin against me, but God Himself and He is no less hurt than me in that whole situation. But I just cannot accept it. It hurts like hell and ruins our relationship. I've talked with her a few times, and then I just gave up on that, pretending everything is okay, that a true man with confidence is not affected by such "minor" things etc. But I just can't. And she's not a Christian, by the way, so she sees nothing wrong with it, never apologized and never said sorry for that, and I'm sure she knows how painful it is for me. And... really, I can't blame her, her mind doesn't work like that. But I just can't take it anymore. Do you guys have something to say about that? Any advice? Should I leave her and pray for my soul, cause I made some mistakes in that relationship too, I thought everything is going to be okay but it just became worse? Should I "team up" with God and forgive her, and most importantly HOW? Thank you in advance (for the spiritual guidance)! And thank you for keeping the faith alive!