Hello all, I am new here and look forward to meeting everyone. I'm 29 and have been married to my current husband for 3 years. I love him dearly and he is such a loving and patient husband and child of God. He should have left me several times over but continues to love me and try to help me overcome my struggle with adultery. My first marriage ended because of an affair, not because he wanted it to end, but because I did. Most of the time it is emotional adultery and flirtatious behavior, some adulterous thoughts, but there has been one physical one. And yes, my husband knows about all of this.
Every time I think I have gotten to where I can beat this, I fall right back down. I am so tired of hurting my husband, who absolutely does not deserve this and I feel deserves better than me (he says he knows what I could be and what God wants me to be). I don't WANT anyone but my husband, but I keep finding myself wanting the attention and fun of flirting. And no, my husband does not do anything to cause my behavior. He is a loving, attentive husband and ALWAYS puts me first, even before himself, in everything. This is within me. I don't necessarily want to have sex with these attractive guys, but I enjoy the attention. I always have, even as a young girl. (I had boyfriends in second grade. Don't know if that's abnormal or not). My last adulterous behavior was within this last week and my husband, still, wants to help me overcome this, bless his wonderful soul.
So, I have decided that I will not go anywhere without him. I will tell him of any thoughts and any behavior that may happen, as hard as it might be (I always feel like it will make it worse if I tell him). That's all well and good. But work is the trouble area. I have no plan of attack for there, and most of the time, that's where this sin has been hitting me! I know I get bored easily. I always have, in anything. I enjoy new, exciting, different.....and I know that that is part of my downfall, but I have no idea how to overcome it. My heart hurts, my soul is heavy...I know God has forgiven me, again, even though I absolutely DO NOT deserve it, but I am still depressed.
Brothers and sisters in Christ, I desperately need help. If anyone has experienced this or is experiencing this same thing, it would be great to hear from you.
Love in Christ
