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naominash last won the day on October 2

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About naominash

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    North Carolina
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  1. She said two pounds a week is a healthy goal and I've really taken that to heart. My husband also likes to spoil me. Interesting. I've talked to him and we seem to be on the same page now. Thank you to everyone who gave advice.
  2. I have am "mildly pre-diabetic" based on my blood sugars.
  3. Well Jayne, since everyone said to talk about it, I just mentioned my concerns when he called. I pointed out how things seemed to only get better when I stopped talking about diet and weight loss. My husband said he's not trying to undermine me at all. He gave three reasons for what happened before. "When you talk about those foods you can't eat, it makes me hungry and I want some." Lol. "When I get a treat, I feel bad if I don't share or offer you some." "When you talk about dieting, I remember how hard my military diet was and I feel bad. So I feed you." Case closed?? I was convinced he just wanted me to fail at losing weight. It made sense, given the struggles we've had in the past. But I'm glad I asked him about it. I think sometimes, because he really thinks I look fine, he doesn't understand how bad I feel at my present weight. As usual, he said, " You're not that big." I told him how I feel. It feels horrible to be at this weight and I'd rather lose weight than have some sweets for a few moments. Let's see if this makes a difference.
  4. I didn't think he meant to accuse me. It's interesting sometimes how men answer differently than women. I would like both perspectives because I feel like women will understand me better, but the men will know more about what my husband perspective is like. Sometimes men give advice that's a lot more... either practical or blunt. For example, another poster said I should do squats so I don't lose weight in the wrong places. I think a lot of us women would take offense to that. Weight and body image are such sensitive issues for us. But I'm not offended. I think the poster was just offering some helpful advice. To a man, that sort of thing isn't malicious. It just works.
  5. I wouldn't want anyone else. But in the past, I'll admit that wasn't always clear. Maybe my husband hasn't completely healed from what I said in our first year of marriage. I won't eat unhealthily just to suit him. But I'll make sure to remind him I'm not going anywhere and that I love him.
  6. Dear Worthy, I love my husband dearly, but I think he is undermining my efforts to lose weight. I don't think he has some master plan. I don't think he really thinks about it. But often, I used to talk about losing weight and healthy habits. Shortly after mentioning it, he'll get a sudden craving for my favorite junk foods. I talk about nutrition, then the next morning he'll come home with my favorite ice cream flavor. Sometimes he'll buy two as if he's going to eat one himself, but ends up sharing the majority of his with me. He jokes about my weight like it's endearing. He says I look fine and I believe him, but I'm starting to wonder if he's really more comfortable with me being overweight. I think it makes him feel safer when I'm not attractive to other men and when there's no chance of me losing respect for him because I'm healthier than he is. Lately, I've stopped talking about wanting to lose weight or eat healthy. I try to limit that line of talking as much as possible without it being too obvious. The result? No sudden cravings and no ice cream brought home. Sometimes he'll still encourage me to eat more at a meal or order dessert for us to share when we go out. But it's not enough. I lost four pounds last week. For the first time in months, my weight has stopped increasing and is going down. For now, I plan to keep downplaying and not mentioning my weight loss efforts (I've been drinking about two gallons of water a day and it's made a huge difference along with portion control. Soon I want to add daily exercise). But if this keeps up, my husband will eventually notice. My husband is not above getting really pushy about getting me to indulge if he notices me trying to lose the pounds. I really don't want to have a power struggle with him, because I tend to relent and feel miserable and fat afterward. How should I talk to him when he notices?
  7. naominash

    Knowing God vs Knowing about God.

    You can say that again, Not Me! You don't know how timely this post is! This is what my church is missing! Thank you for posting it. I must drink the water of Life, not just learn about it. We need to keep hearing this.
  8. naominash

    A Millennial Unplugs: A Lifestyle Experiment

    Now that I have limited the online time, I finally feel like I have a handle on things in my life. Hubby is cared for, house is clean, work is productive, and I'm reading more of the Bible. I'm even finally starting to lose weight.
  9. I've been rethinking some things that I feel pressured to do both right now and in the past. A lot of these apply more in the United States. Here are a few examples: 1. Having a traditional fancy wedding. I thought I wanted and needed a wedding with all the flowers, church building, and bridal party to make my family take our marriage seriously. I thought the families would never forgive me if I didn't have one. But you know what? There is bad blood to this day between my parents and in-laws over that wedding. We could have saved the money that went into the wedding, gone on a nice honeymoon, gone to the courthouse, found a pastor, had a dinner reception with our guests, and just relaxed. If I could do it over again, I would just do things that were best for my husband and I and stop trying to appease others who thought we were making the wrong decision regardless. 2. Going to a Four-Year University right after college. I was not ready. If you're going to college only because it's what's expected of you, you might not be ready. I had the grades for it, but I wish I had had the courage to ask for a break. I could have worked for a year, found out what I liked. It's just that all the other kids around me were doing it and my parents had drilled it in to me since birth. Seeing all the issues I'd had at the time, my parents would have (eventually) understood. Not only did I end up switching to a 2-year institution before getting my bachelors, but to this day I still don't think I would like to finish the four-year degree in the near future. 3. Having a child only after you're way, way established. I know my Mom wants me to be more educated before I have a child. I know I could put it off longer. But I don't want to. I'm married and our marriage is stable. My husband wants a child too. Even if life gets harder, I know I'd love to have my child sooner rather than later. It took a long time but I'm at peace with the fact that I want that now. 4. Standard of Living America is a very wealthy nation. Sometimes I wonder if we think we have to have certain things simply because we're used to it. It ties in with the baby thing because people will think we aren't ready because we don't have certain things. But you know what? I've found that the secret to living comfortably and gaining ground in finances is to live below your means. The New Testament talks about " with food and clothing, we are content" . Do you really need a two-story house and a graduate degree to provide what's needed? If you think so, that's fine. But I'm not going to subscribe to that just to end up wishing at age 30-35 that I had trusted God and had my first child sooner. If our choices mean we don't live in a fancy house or quite reach middle class, I am okay with that. If I trade my career growth to be a stay-at-home mom with our kids and we have enough to eat and have our needs met, I'm happy. It's taken me years, but I think that's really what I want. What are some choices that were popular that you have rethought?
  10. naominash


    Is speeding a sin? That's a good question. Personally, I am reminded about how Christians are to follow the spirit of The Law and not the letter. I guess I also apply that to driving. I try to follow the rules. But the rule I follow over all is "don't do anything unsafe". After all, protecting human life trumps the speed limit, as I think God would not have us do something dangerous to other people to keep a government law. That being said, I think if we are pulled over for speeding, we should accept the consequences. But Like Butero said, I don't think going a few miles over the speed limit is on the same level as adultery or murder.
  11. naominash

    A Millennial Unplugs: A Lifestyle Experiment

    Thank you for your responses! My husband suggested being less strict on my online limit after a while. I hope to keep this up for at least a month and go from there. I personally don't want to think about how many hours I've spent online before this "internet fast". I don't think everyone should have to limit themselves like this but I am feeling very refreshed. This morning I was talking to my husband after he came home from work (he works night shift). We were talking about the Lord and as he went to sleep I felt such a strong connection to God. Joy, peace, and love just like when I would walk on the beach with no one else around and feel like God was right with me. Is this because of my internet fast? I'm not sure. I do know that sometimes I put distance between myself and God by listening to people talk about God rather than go directly to Him in prayer or reading Scripture. Things can get a bit wooden that way. Last night I was thinking of all the things I've been meaning to do that I may finally get around to like sewing projects and my cookbook. There are a lot of things that I used to do like creating art, braiding or twisting my hair, reading, or just walking that I stopped doing altogether for a while. I'm looking forward to switching things up with my free time. I used to do some interesting things in a creative sense.
  12. naominash

    God, I Feel Your Smile

    I used to wonder if I would have to wait until I died or You returned for me to feel Your Presence the way I wanted and needed. But I can experience You now. Your joy, peace, and love is available to me. Sometimes I feel unworthy but You look for a certain kind of heart. A heart that loves You and seeks You. I feel Your smile on me this morning. Sometimes I put distance between myself and You. But Your kindness draws me near again. I love you Lord. Thank you for being close. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for your joy.
  13. I asked for prayer on the forum several days ago after an attack of negative thoughts about my life. I asked members on Worthy to pray for God to guide me on what was best. I think the answer came in the form of an idea: Try limiting online time to one hour per day. Even though I feel like a somewhat responsible person, I've always been easily overwhelmed. To be fair, I think working full time and keeping a place clean could be challenging for anyone. But I always used to wonder how my mom could work full time with two kids and still manage to keep the house clean all the time. The answer seems obvious now. She didn't grow up with the internet. She always finds time to do so many more things in different areas of her life because she doesn't spend as much time online as I did. For years, the internet has been my default activity, ever since high school. I never thought of it as excessive before because I didn't fit the bill for "internet addiction" when I searched it. Also, I maintained good grades and friends. But looking back, I think I got overwhelmed at times without realizing that I spent too much time online. For me, the internet sucks me in and makes hours go by like nothing else. So, two days before Thanksgiving, I started my experiment. At first, I didn't notice a difference because I was overwhelmed by Christmas shopping. But in the last few days, I've seen some major changes. For one, it feels like an endless amount of extra time. Knowing I can't spend hours online, I actually only spent about ten minutes checking things the last few days. Also, instead of being totally absorbed in different sites, I end up doing different positive things throughout the day. I've had off work the last few days. Usually, I'd spend most of the time online and procrastinate on chores. Miracle of miracles, I did chores I'd been meaning to do for two months. Instead of listening to a sermon online, I read the book of Hebrews in silence, having a sweet prayer time afterward. I've had an easier time getting myself to cook our groceries. My husband helped me download a favorite book in an audio version so I can listen to it. It's nice to listen to an actual novel again. I have an easier time sleeping. I'd like to exercise in the morning, hopefully that will improve too. I'm keeping a journal of all the changes so far. It's been a long time since I actually wrote in a journal with ink and paper. I'm liking the results of this experiment and don't really feel a need to go back to spending hours online at a time so far.