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About Hmh123

  • Birthday 10/25/1993

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  • Location
    Brooklyn, NY
  1. Drawing meetup

    Today on January 1st for the start of the New Year, I went to this new meet up I saw on the meetup app. I thought I’d check it out. I was a little anxious to go at first. I didn’t want to feel embarrassed that I didn’t have a degree so I thought this drawing meetup would be perfect for me because we would all be making light conversation while drawing so nothing too heavy. One girl instantly caught my attention when she said she was a Buddhist or agnostic. She wasn’t really sure! She let saying “idk, idk!”. She was clearly very confused and then by the end of the night in was talking to two older adults. One man maybe in his 60s and a Asian lady maybe in her late 30’s, early 40’s. They were not Christians and they were laughing to me about hell. They did not understand that list could be a sin. I said lust very much is a sin! I repeated Matthew 5:28 “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” And honestly I think this is right. I used to be a stripper and sometimes it just really creeped me out to know that all these men were looking at me. I had no problem being on the stage, but just the looks in some of their eyes.. idk it just felt wrong. Isn’t it better to love someone? Not lust after someone? These 2 people couldn’t understand that lust is a penality for death and that one must repent so Jesus can forgive you if your sins. There was even a Christian woman there and we were trying to get her into conversation with us with no avail she was not trying to speak up, but when I went over to her she told me, rather quietly, that she goes to Hillsong church in the city which is the church I used to go to! I had not been growing in that church so I started going to 3 different small churches so I could meet with people and be in fellowship with them. I invited her to bible study and I hope she comes with me to one. I know the Bible says not to waste your pearls on swine, but I hope what I did tonight was a good thing. I know it was a teeny seed, but I hope that one day I can effect someone. So far this has been a good New Years and this day taught me a lot. Even though I have done a lot of awful things that I kept on my conscience for a long time, there are people out there who need me. They need someone who is not afraid to speak the gospel. There are too many like warm Christians. Even though I’ve done a lot of sinful things in my life, there are people who are living “normally” filled with arrogance, and are so intellectual that they think they are superior to other people. Being around people who aren’t in Christ makes me feel better than church in a way cause at least I’m trying to make a difference. Being in a church is being around people who are already saved.
  2. New job

    The job I’m at isn’t keeping me. They only had me working for seasonal. I need prayers to find a new retail job. A better one! Maybe one that has a better pay? I am really upset. If I don’t find another job, I can’t go back to college and I might have to join the Air Force or army, but I don’t want to go with the tattoos I have on myself.
  3. Worthless on Christmas

    Yea thanks it’s just hard to not compare my life to others. Coming to Christ has been a rude awakening. I was living in dark and I feel like I finally woke up to the world around me. I will give that audiobook a listen though. I feel like the world is calling me a loser everyday like come on girl you’re 24 and still single, still not married with no kids? You’ve been an adult for 7 years now. What happened? It’s an awful feeling. I hate going on Facebook and seeing people I know from high school when I’m trying to grow past that. I guess I’ll have to delete people I don’t talk to because just seeing names brings up bad memories for me.
  4. Worthless on Christmas

    Thanks so much. I really appreciate your reply❤️
  5. prayer request

    Praying for you<3
  6. Worthless on Christmas

    I’m going to a friends house tmw and I can’t help but seeing friends on Facebook married with kids who are younger than me and feel bad about it. I feel so far behind. I don’t even have my degree. I feel so worthless. I moved in with my mom this year. I should be going to a boyfriends house tomorrow and I don’t even have one. I really need some encouragement. This is an awful feeling😞I feel alone in the world like no one knows me. Like every decision in my life has been a bad one.
  7. Long story short, I was adopted. Was going through some stuff last year and I find my dads side on dna ancestry then I find my mom through them. I meet her in January and moved in with her because I was going through some stuff and thought it best that I live with family. I had moved out of my adopted families house as I didn’t feel welcome anymore and thought it best that I live with a family member and the only person I could think of was my mom and we had just reconnected too. Basically, this whole year has been chaotic. She is nice one second, mean the next. I get angry. She has a desk filled with stuff and I’ve knocked it over countless times. She yells at me for petty nonsense like “why do you keep drinking my water and not refilling it??” She has this Gatorade bottle she fills with water and put it on the refrigerator door. I just don’t see why she can’t just refill it. It’s not like I drink that drinks that cost money. I only drink the water which is free so why the fuss? She blows everything out of proportion then I get crazy and I dumped the water on her bed. This is not who I want to be. This isn’t me. We always make up after, but I’m scared she’ll call the cops soon cause she’s done it before. Part of me just doesn’t have respect for her because of what happened with my adoption. Why even have a kid if you can’t even raise the child yourself? Because not only could she not raise me, but I was stuck with a family who wouldn’t care if I was dead. I’m pretty sure they adopted me for the checks. Do I definitely need some prayers. I am with the lord but not when my mom ticks me off. My mother is not with the lord though. No way. I also went through her phone and deleted some stuff that was not pleasing to the eye I’ll say and she got mad and I thought about it and she is right because no I wouldn’t want her looking through my phone. I let her anyway, but she does deserve privacy, but I guess because I’m Christian I thought I was allowed to because I was deleting her sinful pictures. Again, I just don’t have much respect for her as a woman or person. I try to, but I just find her floppy in her faith. She sways with the wind. Loose and with no root planted in anything. Flimsy. A chasing of the wind would describe her personality. She’s been working at the same retail store for 14 years.
  8. Love on earth, than do you think a man and a woman could meet in heaven and fund love together? They couldn’t get married because there is no marriage in heaven, but so? Thoughts?
  9. survived a suicide attempt

    Praying for you strong soul. What has you feeling this way? Maybe I can share something to help you.
  10. Pray for Us

    Praying for you Deb!!! Father eliminate the Smokey smell from Debs home and allow her and her mother to live comfortably. This must be awful for you both. Please allow the building management company to come and do their job! Thank you Lord, Amen🙏🏽
  11. Are they a sin? What do you guys think? I wanted to join a book club, but the book they are reading is about a girl who loses her virginity to a tattooed womanizer. What’s your take on this? The book club was called the smutty woman’s book club. Is this okay? I entered the description of the book below. Edited quote - those details are not necessary. While I am at it (editing your post), I would offer that if you would not think to read something to some children, there grandparents, and your pastor, you might want to consider if it is the best thing to put in your own mind. The Bible is racey enough, why not read that instead?
  12. Hi, I am Angie!

    Welcome Angelica! What’s your testimony? How did you come to the Christian faith?
  13. Prayers for a safe delivery for wife

    Praise God! Praying❤️