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About SerenSunflower

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  1. Illness Update and Prayer Request

    So much appreciated, wing!!
  2. Hey everyone

    Welcome to Worthy! Glad you are here.
  3. Illness Update and Prayer Request

    Thank you so much, both of you! <3
  4. Illness Update and Prayer Request

    I posted an update that somehow ended up earlier in this thread, lol. Please scan the whole thread; it's really long; you can't miss it. Thanks for the prayers!!
  5. Illness Update and Prayer Request

    Thanks so much!! <3
  6. Illness Update and Prayer Request

    OK everyone knows bits and pieces, so I laid everything out from the beginning, according to my current understanding. I am really feeling overwhelmed, like where do I even begin. I am very grateful for all your prayers and encouragement; please continue that; I really need it!! ******************************** After the hard work of a literal team of medical professionals, I now have answers, diagnoses, and treatments. I finally know how and why everything works. One dx is still a maybe, but it was a call by the physical therapist and doc thinks it's probable without having tested for sure, so running with it. Back in 2014, my husband and I were in a car wreck. He was turning left from a busy street onto another busy street on a turn arrow. Some guy coming the other direction ran the red without slowing down, plowed into the side of the car I was on going about 40-45 MPH, and spun the car around. Car was totaled and my MIL, after seeing the side of the car I was on, said I was lucky to be alive. I had superficial wounds from auto glass on my right cheek and in my ear. Miraculously no glass got in the ear canal or in my eyes. That is a total God moment. But I knew head injury wise it was quite bad immediately. The ER diagnosed me with closed head injury (aka TBI) AND concussion. Ever after, I had dizziness right away, needed to sleep a lot, and experienced cognitive effects that got slowly better over years, but I am not the genius I was; my memory is laughable, and I completely lost my musical ear. Cognitive therapist says I am mildly cognitively impaired and mild to moderately memory impaired. That's all from the accident. The neurologist I had at the time patted me on the head and told me things would be fine. Years passed. I would write him every so often, and say, hey, things are NOT fine, please help me? Very little happened. I also can't drive anymore. My brain won't process traffic in 3D; very dangerous to have me behind the wheel. Finally, last year, I was seen for a UTI in Urgent Care, and the PA said, OK, you have a UTI, what is this really about? So I told him all my symptoms, and he got me a referral to Neurology. The very helpful appointment scheduler put me with a new doc, a head injury specialist. And this began to change my life. I started jumping up and down more and telling my docs I was basically disabled from all this and had been for awhile. My family and I contacted the county about this (and they have completely dropped the ball) seeking help. My doc and psychiatrist were like, we do not feel you qualify medically or psychiatrically for this help, but it wasn't up to them. And they started thinking about all this. December 20th, 2017: doc sees me and diagnoses me with chronic respiratory failure, which I later discover she is justifying oxygen at night, which I have used for years to treat sleep apnea. However in February, everything started unraveling because I had low oxygen saturation measurements (sats) in the November hospitalization. The doc told me to start monitoring at home, and I discovered I had a very big problem. When the oxygen company's night study discovered the same big issue, it confirmed I needed to be on oxygen 24/7 and THAT happened. So then everything started snowballing: pretty soon I had two new diagnoses of Raynaud's and way more concerning, Pickwickian syndrome which you can die of. If that was not enough, my kidney bloodwork starts coming back bad, and now I am trying to raise my GFR stat (the one that measures how well the kidneys flush) and keep my kidneys OK. And I am, this is pretty bad. I also started falling, which is how I ended up with a physical therapist, occupational therapist, and social worker through my insurance. Add to this five major MH diagnoses and DANG. So I am already completely overwhelmed, but we are getting back to the cause of why my body is deconditioned, the dizziness. PT and doc think it's Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome or POTS. It fits all the observed phenomena. It is also chronic and incurable, although you can learn to live with it over time. There. That's all the diagnoses. Treatment is: take meds, drink lots of fluids, eat a healthy diet, and follow the exercise prescriptions of the physical therapist. Any actual recovery is gonna take a long time, while fighting to keep the situation stable and not worsening. I am not going to die of any of this (hopefully), but it will be difficult to live. Please keep me in your prayers. <3
  7. pulling the plug on a loved one

    The thing is, if she is brain dead and her body is being kept artificially alive, she is dead. I believe it is probably kinder to let her body go also. It's a gut wrenching decision. Prayers!
  8. Dad's stage four cancer prayer request

    I am so sad for your loss. Happy news for him indeed, but painful for those left behind. Will keep you in thoughts and prayers.
  9. Husband Needs A Job

    Thanks so much to you and everyone! Not a lot is happening at the moment. My husband needs to have serious dental work done before this job ends, so we are waiting for that to be done. I appreciate you asking!
  10. Thoughts About Life, Death, and Spiritual Warfare

    Thank you so much, Shanee. <3 What a beautiful, thoughtful prayer. Very much appreciated. <3
  11. Husband Needs A Job

    My husband's job contract runs out end of March. Please pray the Lord gives him a new job! Thank you. ❤
  12. So I have been thinking a lot about death with all these health issues. Truth is it could be anytime or a long ways off. Yes I am pretty ill, but I also know a guy who is still stubbornly living 20 years after a congestive heart failure diagnosis. He just freaking refuses to die. A lot can be said for the power of the human spirit. My husband put it very well: you can't go before your time even if you want or try to. I met a guy in the hospital who had six attempts in six months and was alive, sitting at the table with us. I was impressed and told him flat out there was a reason he was alive and he had to find it. Later that hospitalization, he found out his GF was pregnant with his child. He was gonna be a daddy. I have never forgotten that. You also can't prevent death when your number is up. When it is time to go, you go. And with very few exceptions, nobody knows when that is. So what does this have to do with me? Between spiritual attacks from evil people, (no not even going to attempt to explain that)and serious health issues negatively impacted and perhaps even caused by the evil people, a whole bunch of forces are converging to end me. The Lord Jesus Christ conquers all, but I am uncertain what He will choose to do here. I do know I have a lot of work yet to do, and I am also certain He will leave me here until I have accomplished it. But how long that is, I don't know. I think I struggle with this because I am in constant emotional pain, and this is connected to physical issues in that this stress makes them worse. Also I still, even after surrendering it to Jesus, struggle with suicidal thoughts. When the pain is really bad, I just want to quit and go to Heaven. But truth be told, I am near or at the peak of my usefulness to Him, so I need to stay and fulfill my destiny. I guess life for anyone is a battle. If I don't win mine, many people will be harmed, directly or indirectly. So I have to stay as long as He needs me to. I choose to do this. I type this with tears in my eyes. I feel so inadequate for this. But the Lord says His power is made perfect in weakness. So here we go. And if you also are struggling with suicidal thoughts, don't do it. OK? ❤ Love, Seren
  13. Hello. Prayer for girl with cancer

  14. John 15:12-13

    Thank you for this great post. I loved the whole thing, but this the most.