SerenSunflower

So my friend and I have been writing a Christian blog, and this post he wrote tonight, it is one of the most amazing grace filled things I have EVER read, please go read it!!!!!!! 

The Love of God by The Itinerant Preacher

He definitely is, and I am so grateful for Him. <3

I am pretty sure Not Me is preaching Romans 8, please read it. Everything he/she is talking about is right there.

This is an amazing testimony and encouraged me so so much. Praise the Lord for all He has done for you, and thank you for sharing it! <3

Hello everyone! Since I was last here, I fled my abusive ex and moved to another state. I am now living and working in a Christian homeless ministry and life is amazing! Best of all, the Lord healed my body and this has been medically verified! I am off oxygen and living a normal life! Praise the Lord!!

13 minutes ago, wingnut- said:

Continued prayers.

So much appreciated, wing!!

11 hours ago, BK1110 said:

More prayers!

10 hours ago, Ella said:

praying 

Thank you so much, both of you! <3

13 hours ago, KPaulG said:

Praying for you @SerenSunflower.

How's everything going now??

I posted an update that somehow ended up earlier in this thread, lol. Please scan the whole thread; it's really long; you can't miss it.  Thanks for the prayers!!

1 minute ago, naominash said:

Praying for you. 

Thanks so much!! <3

OK everyone knows bits and pieces, so I laid everything out from the beginning, according to my current understanding. I am really feeling overwhelmed, like where do I even begin. I am very grateful for all your prayers and encouragement; please continue that; I really need it!!

********************************

After the hard work of a literal team of medical professionals, I now have answers, diagnoses, and treatments. I finally know how and why everything works. One dx is still a maybe, but it was a call by the physical therapist and doc thinks it's probable without having tested for sure, so running with it.

Back in 2014, my husband and I were in a car wreck. He was turning left from a busy street onto another busy street on a turn arrow. Some guy coming the other direction ran the red without slowing down, plowed into the side of the car I was on going about 40-45 MPH, and spun the car around. Car was totaled and my MIL, after seeing the side of the car I was on, said I was lucky to be alive.

I had superficial wounds from auto glass on my right cheek and in my ear. Miraculously no glass got in the ear canal or in my eyes. That is a total God moment. But I knew head injury wise it was quite bad immediately. The ER diagnosed me with closed head injury (aka TBI) AND concussion.

Ever after, I had dizziness right away, needed to sleep a lot, and experienced cognitive effects that got slowly better over years, but I am not the genius I was; my memory is laughable, and I completely lost my musical ear. Cognitive therapist says I am mildly cognitively impaired and mild to moderately memory impaired. That's all from the accident.

The neurologist I had at the time patted me on the head and told me things would be fine. Years passed. I would write him every so often, and say, hey, things are NOT fine, please help me? Very little happened. I also can't drive anymore. My brain won't process traffic in 3D; very dangerous to have me behind the wheel.

Finally, last year, I was seen for a UTI in Urgent Care, and the PA said, OK, you have a UTI, what is this really about? So I told him all my symptoms, and he got me a referral to Neurology. The very helpful appointment scheduler put me with a new doc, a head injury specialist. And this began to change my life.

I started jumping up and down more and telling my docs I was basically disabled from all this and had been for awhile. My family and I contacted the county about this (and they have completely dropped the ball) seeking help. My doc and psychiatrist were like, we do not feel you qualify medically or psychiatrically for this help, but it wasn't up to them. And they started thinking about all this.

December 20th, 2017: doc sees me and diagnoses me with chronic respiratory failure, which I later discover she is justifying oxygen at night, which I have used for years to treat sleep apnea. However in February, everything started unraveling because I had low oxygen saturation measurements (sats) in the November hospitalization. The doc told me to start monitoring at home, and I discovered I had a very big problem. When the oxygen company's night study discovered the same big issue, it confirmed I needed to be on oxygen 24/7 and THAT happened.

So then everything started snowballing: pretty soon I had two new diagnoses of Raynaud's and way more concerning, Pickwickian syndrome which you can die of. If that was not enough, my kidney bloodwork starts coming back bad, and now I am trying to raise my GFR stat (the one that measures how well the kidneys flush) and keep my kidneys OK. And I am, this is pretty bad.  I also started falling, which is how I ended up with a physical therapist, occupational therapist, and social worker through my insurance.

Add to this five major MH diagnoses and DANG.

So I am already completely overwhelmed, but we are getting back to the cause of why my body is deconditioned, the dizziness. PT and doc think it's Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome or POTS. It fits all the observed phenomena. It is also chronic and incurable, although you can learn to live with it over time.

There. That's all the diagnoses. Treatment is: take meds, drink lots of fluids, eat a healthy diet, and follow the exercise prescriptions of the physical therapist. Any actual recovery is gonna take a long time, while fighting to keep the situation stable and not worsening.

I am not going to die of any of this (hopefully), but it will be difficult to live. Please keep me in your prayers. <3

The thing is, if she is brain dead and her body is being kept artificially alive, she is dead. I believe it is probably kinder to let her body go also. It's a gut wrenching decision. Prayers!

2 hours ago, KPaulG said:

Praying.

How's everything going now?

Thanks so much to you and everyone! Not a lot is happening at the moment. My husband needs to have serious dental work done before this job ends, so we are waiting for that to be done. I appreciate you asking!

1 hour ago, shanee said:

Hi .i couldnt read post because so  tired.(my last post for today.)But Praying for you just in case.take care Agape

Thank you so much, Shanee. <3

25 minutes ago, 1to3 said:

I wish to hug you Seren and let you know all  will be ok.
Father God, thank you Father God for Your Love, Mercy and Grace, I pray right now for my sister Seren, Father God, please i ask you to heal Seren's body, soul, mind, take away the pain Lord and fill her complete with you healing, I ask this  through the blood redeeming healing power of Your only begotten Son Christ . Amen Amen, Amen!

Big Hugs.

        

In Him Always

        1to3

 

What a beautiful, thoughtful prayer. Very much appreciated. <3

My husband's job contract runs out end of March. Please pray the Lord gives him a new job! Thank you. ❤

So I have been thinking a lot about death with all these health issues. Truth is it could be anytime or a long ways off. Yes I am pretty ill, but I also know a guy who is still stubbornly living 20 years after a congestive heart failure diagnosis. He just freaking refuses to die. A lot can be said for the power of the human spirit.

My husband put it very well: you can't go before your time even if you want or try to. I met a guy in the hospital who had six attempts in six months and was alive, sitting at the table with us. I was impressed and told him flat out there was a reason he was alive and he had to find it. Later that hospitalization, he found out his GF was pregnant with his child. He was gonna be a daddy. I have never forgotten that.

You also can't prevent death when your number is up. When it is time to go, you go. And with very few exceptions, nobody knows when that is.

So what does this have to do with me? Between spiritual attacks from evil people, (no not even going to attempt to explain that)and serious health issues negatively impacted and perhaps even caused by the evil people, a whole bunch of forces are converging to end me. The Lord Jesus Christ conquers all, but I am uncertain what He will choose to do here. I do know I have a lot of work yet to do, and I am also certain He will leave me here until I have accomplished it. But how long that is, I don't know.

I think I struggle with this because I am in constant emotional pain, and this is connected to physical issues in that this stress makes them worse. Also I still, even after surrendering it to Jesus, struggle with suicidal thoughts. When the pain is really bad, I just want to quit and go to Heaven. But truth be told, I am near or at the peak of my usefulness to Him, so I need to stay and fulfill my destiny. 

I guess life for anyone is a battle. If I don't win mine, many people will be harmed, directly or indirectly. So I have to stay as long as He needs me to.

I choose to do this. I type this with tears in my eyes. I feel so inadequate for this. But the Lord says His power is made perfect in weakness.

So here we go. And if you also are struggling with suicidal thoughts, don't do it. OK? ❤

Love, Seren

Praying!

15 hours ago, Neighbor said:

Just as the high priests and officers  rejected Jesus and screamed for Barabbas* to be freed, so will the elation over one's  being turned about to repentance by the Holy Spirit onto being born again in Christ Jesus will be one side of two extremes to come, and the other side must be withstood, tolerated, and done so  even in meekness, for Christ's sake.  

Thank you for this great post. I loved the whole thing, but this the most.

This was really helpful, and Job 38 in particular spoke to me. I am glad you are doing this.

Given that you were in the hospital with pneumonia, doesn't seem more than would be expected in that circumstance. Prayers!

Prayers! I am glad to hear things are going well.

Hi Blue. You have gotten some great responses, but I am not sure they answered your question. You wanted to know what sacrificial love looks like, how to apply all these wonderful scriptures you are getting. Fortunately, the answer to that is also in the Bible. Jesus was very clear and practical about what He wants people to do to love Him. Matthew 24:35-40 says the following:

³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

The Bible also says there will be a penalty for those who do NOT do this. Matthew 25:41-46 says the following:

⁴¹ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

⁴⁶ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

The Bible is quoting Jesus here, so take these verses VERY seriously. Works cannot save you; only faith in Jesus can do that. But James says that faith which does not PRODUCE works is dead. Faith saves you; but if you don't live out the faith, that faith is dead.

James 2:14-22 says:

¹⁴ What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? ¹⁵ Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. ¹⁶ If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? ¹⁷ In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

¹⁸ But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. ¹⁹ You believe that there is one God.Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.

²⁰ You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless^[a]? ²¹ Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? ²² You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did.

So that is very practical advice and clear instruction from the Word. How everyone applies it depends on life situations. I don't have the ability to go out and do stuff, nor much money to give, so I pray. I also crochet blankets to keep people warm. Do what you can...but do it.

Thanks so much, everyone, for your prayers. They are greatly appreciated. <3

3 hours ago, KPaulG said:

Praying. How's everything going now??

About the same. My doc ordered home health assistance, so a physical therapist is coming out tomorrow to evaluate things. I feel 80, lol. This is the kind of care you get for Grandma and I am not even 50!

23 hours ago, other one said:

so don't waste a day of the 50's  it's a time to make really good memories......

I liked what you wrote, but this the best. Thank you so much!!