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JesusIsLord92

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  1. A prominent member messaged me and said we must stay with abusive husbands/wives and if we don’t it is rebellion. It is NOT ok to stay with abusers. What does everyone think? Can’t believe this person thinks it is ok to be emotionally physcial or even worse..sexually abused. ??? my loved one is being abused and wants to be free and this person thinks it is ok!
  2. How do you forgive. I know the verses but how to apply practically. Have been hurt by dozens of people and want to be free. Literally so many people. Can’t seem to forgive. Quoting verses isn’t enough. Please help
  3. I’ve heard many times before that you are either hot or cold with God as the Bible says, otherwise God will spit you out....which is hell. It doesn’t matter if you are saved or not you have to always have fire for God. Well, I always worried about this in the past and as one of my posts mentioned in the past I tried very hard to be a Christian all the time and became obsessed and miserable. I felt 100% God telling me this. I felt it whenever I slipped and read a comic and felt God’s anger and correction. I tried hard to be as Christian as I could. I do believe I was saved as I felt something inside me which kept me away from reading comics (example there were other things) or doing certain things or buying things. I felt confused. If I did slip sometimes he’d send health attacks. I never felt clarity from God. Sometimes I had such confusion on things and He never clarified it. I’ve fallen from the faith a lot lately and so obsessed with self and full of sin such as diet obsession, food, my own wishes and desires, selfishness, idolatry, pride, jealous, jealously, I act like a child, I’m ungrateful, I’m unforgiving, bitter, disobedient to God, hateful, faithless and whatever else. I have lied a few times under pressure. I am obsessed with ME. I’ve lost a lot of love and feeling for others. I am a miserable, depressed and lonely young woman. I tried to avoid sin as much as I could as one sin gets you into hell. So I kept to that I got from Christian videos and others. I always felt lead by fear. I just don’t understand this because I worked so hard with God. I fell away because I felt nothing from God. I felt no strength, no love and no strength in God’s word I fell away also as I couldn’t find the strength to be obedient and when I disobeyed I always felt anger from God. I felt on a constant anger and growling direction from God. I want to come back but feel no desire or anything to come back. I have a past rich of emotional pain and hurt inside. I know I’m to forgive but unsure how because I know the verses... but then what! I have prayed. I just don’t understand why I need to do this all on my own. God isn’t helping? I’m asking and can’t find any of my own inner strength. I’m asking why He won’t help me heal my past. I need to heal it to go forward in my spiritual journey. I didn’t realize I hadn’t healed or forgiven yet. I don’t understand why God can’t hold my hand and be my friend. I know I’m selfish and so self absorbed, I need His help. I’m so hurt inside and where is Jesus my friend? Where is HE?! I had a sad childhood and suffered bullying and abandonment and rejection and so much pain Yesterday I went on a walk and called to God to show me Himself or speak to me. Nothing happened. I know God doesn’t work on asking I just don’t get it. What do I do...I’m exhausted out and have given up ages ago.
  4. Please don’t doubt me..it is the last thing I need where people don’t believe me. They never do. Abuse doesn’t have to be physcial it can be sniggers, mockery or just general mistreatment. I’ve gone to different doctors but over here you need to enroll into a new practice before you see anyone else at another medical centre
  5. I don’t understand where Catholics get this belief from and am confused. They hail her and talk so much about her to me it seems like idolatry. They pray her name on the rosary and where is Jesus mentioned.
  6. Since 2015 at age 22 I have been struck with numerous blows with health issues. I’ve been verbally and medically abused by drs and have been to ER at least about 50 times since 2015. I have been mistreated by doctors, ER staff ...denied tests and when I finally get diagnosed it is a year or so later and then told to “live with it”. I’ve been made into a “psycho created pain” fool. No one takes me seriously and no one will respect me. I’ve walked out crying from drs rooms. I have begged and prayed to God so many times and cried rivers wanting to be healed and made well. I am unable to fast due to low blood pressure and feeling faint. I have trusted God in being healed. My family are in debt due to my frequent dr visits where they (drs) make me out as a fool and are abusing their position by lies and treating me like an idiot. Including ignoring me, laughing at me and telling me “people find a way to live with it” or just amused looks as the “hypochondriac idiot”. Told all my pain is psycho created. I now have more conditions waiting answers and told to take pain killers. I am not able to get tests. I can’t afford private testing. I’m lucky I am able to get an X-ray through public health but I don’t think it will be able to see much. I don’t understand. I don’t know why God continues to disappoint me by letting me remain undiagnosed or diagnosed and sick. I’ve prayed and prayed and no answer I am obese but tried to diet and lost 4kg but got weak and faint doing it. So eating more now. I need to lose about 3more kilos to not be obese anymore, My current named conditions are: hiatus hernia..(severe pain I get from this..no one believes I suffer this much) venous insuffiency (this is the pits as I can’t stand still anymore) raynauds (not 100% confirmed) depression anxiety panic attacks (which I didn’t have before all this. I have one or two a year) social phobia extremelt painful esophageal spasms low blood pressure high heart rate ectopic heart beats awaiting: possible carpal tunnel neck issue...basialiar insuffiency? What can I do to be better again? I don’t believe it is unforgivness as I have worked at this. I have not obeyed God in witnessing due to severe social,phobia... I read He can not answer prayers due to disobedience?
  7. I’ve read it is a requirement as a Christian work and without it, it is sin. Read this a few times. I personally have tried it...but I tend to suffer low blood pressure and heart palpitations and feel faint and don’t feel safe. I can’t last a day.
  8. I know someone in an abusive marriage and prayer isn’t working. I’ve prayed and prayed and the person will not change. The woman doesn’t know how to leave the man as the man needs care and refuses to leave and the woman is unable to arrange care for him or financially able to leave him. She is so unhappy
  9. Empathy is a gift of God. I believe I had this gift for awhile until it overwhelmed me. I saw so much abuse and torture over my Facebook feed. I tend to let things overwhelm me. It really upset me at times. Don’t lose this gift but if you are sensitive avoid it. You can pray for those suffering without viewing graphic content.
  10. I have struggled with homosexual attraction to someone of my own sex several times before. I can relate to how you feel. It was a really trying time. The best thing you can do is avoid the person and avoid looking them up online and avoid fantasising. If you notice a thought, shut it out immediately.
  11. Reading your post is exactly what I went through for a very very and I mean year or so long time. I felt like this 24/7. I wrote about it online possibly like 50 times...(ok maybe not 50 but a LOT) and was in depression a LOT..crying and feeling lost. It was torture. I can’t offer advice as I have fallen and made my own post.... What you are going through can’t be what Christianity is about. I sought God and never got answers. I tried all I knew. It was painful...
  12. First of all I am not here for debate or to be attacked. I’m genuinely seeking fellowship and answers from a respectful, empathetic viewpoint. I apologise if this ends up being long. I grew up going to church as a young child. I was always an outcast at school and before school and always felt “different”. I prayed to God and thought I was a Christian till I was about 22. I was a sad, lonely and bullied young woman and thought maybe it was because I was a “Christian” as I thought. I now realise it was most likely other things such as my shyness and different upbringing. But never can figure out why I had so many enemies. When I was around 22 I had an idea to listen to a local Christian radio station. I’m not sure how I knew about it, I guess because my mum was a Christian. I started listening to it and listening to the sermons and realised I wasn’t a Christian after all. I felt a change of sin attitude and started reading the bible. I never made a conscious effort of saying “Jesus I accept you and I commit my life to you”. But I did sincerely try the sinners prayer a few times. It take about a year but I dropped tv shows I watched which were wicked (witchcraft in them) and music interests which were taking provide of place in my life. I did make a testimony about this. The following year I felt a push from God to drop all non-christian music, movies, books (I have slipped and felt God’s anger towards it), tv and literally just be all Christian 24/7. This was a very difficult, upsetting, trying time and I went through many episodes of depression and backsliding and feeling always I couldn’t quite reach the “mark” I wanted to reach (stopping sin I had trouble in, being perfectly Christian 24/7 and things like that). If I slipped I felt God really mad at me. I felt he disciplined me all the time with health scares. I felt like I was in jail. My prayers weren’t being answered for health, friends or anything I asked. I asked forgiveness for my sins every day and sought out forgiveness from those I hurt or held grudges (some I can’t go to because I think it would be foolish). I suffered constant confusion with things in my mind and never got clarity. I was living a constant life of confusion and lack of encouragement. I prayed every day for unselfish things. I prayed for one Christian friend but God to me felt like He kept letting me down. My walk with God was a roller coaster but constantly on the low end. I could talk more about what I went through. It was a lonely, painful and meaningless experience. I was sin focused 24/7 and constantly had ocd of “cleansing myself” of sin all day. I went through the darkest pits of my life in Christianity. I wasn’t allowed hobbies so tried to be Christian 24/7 in regards to hobbies. I had to get rid of all my dvds and some belongings because I felt God’s anger if I tried to do anything. I knew why because if I started a game it quickly became an idol. Everything quickly became an idol. So I was banned from hobbies. I have written maybe a 100 different posts over Facebook and other forums charting my trials of pain in Christianity. Not persecution (well, I’ve had a little bit of it) just the turmoil of my soul, my health and the “requirements” of being a Christian. God told me to witness to my neighbours this year and I disobeyed as I was having panic attacks and fear. Because they were aggressive and atheists. When I disobeyed I felt this weight of sin on me and felt as if God walked away. I have been told by God to witness again to others but feel sick with fear. I suffer anxiety in different names. I noticed I was falling about a year or two ago in my initial spirit...I was into sermons but stopped due to health. God hasn’t stopped my health issues. I never understood why I wasn’t able to overcome not being able to read the bible or study due to pain attacks (chest mostly). I never understand why God allowed that. I tried to overcome asking God, he didn’t do anything. I always felt confused and He never clarified anything. I always thought of the verse that says “faith without works is dead” and “there remains no sacrifice for sin”(if you go on sinning). I never had works for Jesus. Just praying. I was never able to fast or witness (I did try once or twice online). Now I have completely backslid....(October) I haven’t been able to come back to God. And my heart doesn’t want to go back to what I just wrote...the pain, the emptiness and the feeling I’m never reaching that “state” that needs to get into heaven (I know works don’t save but I believe we must avoid sin daily). I know Christianity isn’t painfree and meant to be a struggle. But I honestly don’t want to go back to that pit where I’m being poked by fire all day in my Spirit for falling all the time. I have been encouraged to do games by my ex psych which I thought was ok because I really needed a “break” In October this year I had a life changing thing happen to me and have gone back to some former things I did. I’ve sinned many sins and become kind of vile in my heart. I scoff inside at Christian sayings or bible verses. I have had this happen before and even thrown my bible but came back to Him. I feel backslidden and match backslidden requirements. I have become mostly cold inside and selfish. I don’t feel reprobate and I do desire to come back I just don’t want what I had before of crying so much in my bedroom due to failing all the time and feeling I’d go to hell. I tried so hard to be a Christian and sought Jesus but never could get close to HIM. I want to feel Jesus in my heart but can’t get to that point. I want dreams and visions And proof He is there. I can’t take not having fellowship (I have tried) and being excluded at churches.
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