Aba

Oh wow! What horrible so called Christian told you that your empathy is a bad thing? I can’t even believe they said that! The Bible clearly says to be loving and compassionate towards eachother. Your empathy might feel like a curse but I’m sure God loves that you care about others. He can definitely use that more in people. I actually wish I had more empathy towards people. You see in my case, I grew cold towards people over the years, I have a lot of sympathy for animals though. I have actually been asking God to soften my heart so I can serve him the way he wants me to. As for how to not let it destroy you, I’m not sure how to answer that. Because I can’t relate.

Well the I can tell you something positive about your situation, at least you had the born again experience. I never felt that sense of joy when I was on my face crying for forgiveness. All I have ever felt is worthless and condemned. I have horrible thoughts in my head all day and even when I’m trying to sleep. On top of that I am in an unequally yoked marriage and I fear for my husbands salvation as well. I’m not telling you this so you’ll pity me. I’m telling you this so you know you are not alone. I know how alone and horrible something like this can make you feel. It’s awful, more awful than any feeling I’ve ever felt. I hope that you find peace, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

I’m right there with you on this. I’m battling it to for various reasons. I just keep thinking.....when Am I going to have my breakthrough? It’s so hard when you are depressed and anxious all the time, it makes it hard to think positive and trust God. I’ll put you in my prayers. *sigh* although that hasn’t been going well either.

Thank you for sharing that with me. I feel so alone sometimes. Yes our stories are very similar, I will pray for us all.

Yes I did marry him. because back then I didn’t care about religion and he is a good man and I loved him, and still love him. Please don’t throw judgement my way. That’s the last thing I need right now is for someone to make me feel worse. And I did say in my post that I have been praying for both of us.

I’m writing this because I need some relief from the pain, and maybe some advice. Every since I started seeking God I’ve felt like there is a wall between me and my husband. It’s not that he’s being difficult or trying to hinder me in my journey with God, in fact he’s been very supportive to a point. But his thoughts aren’t the same as mine anymore. At least not all of them. You see my husband was raised a Jehovah’s Witness. Now he doesn’t practice it anymore but he said if he ever did go back to religion it would be that one. Not because it’s his favorite or anything but because that’s what his parents believe( they don’t believe in an eternal hell). I consider myself non-denomination. My husband is a very kind man, I sometimes am amazed at how much this man loves and cares about me. He has forgiven me for some very bad things I did and stood with me through my worst. Today he even told me that he is going to give me the whole state tax return to give to a charity because he knows it’s important to me. We have been best friends and married for 14 years now. But when I look at him now, I see someone who is lost and I start to think about him suffering for eternity. I’ve already tried to explain to him that his parents are wrong about their view on hell, and I’ve tried to lead him to the correct doctrine but he isn’t believing it. I stopped pushing the issue because I don’t want to push him away from it by trying to force it down his throat. I’m not trying to say I’m perfect, I am struggling in my walk with God but I’m aware of it and trying to do something about it. When I look at him I might be smiling at him on the outside but on the inside im screaming and crying. Im hurting so much on the inside. I want us to be on the same page and have the same understanding. I feel like Any day I could loose him and it would be too late. I cry a lot over him, sometimes I have to hold my breath until after he leaves for work so I can cry as soon as he walks out the door. At the same time, im trying fix things that I’m doing wrong and overcome strongholds in my life. I feel so drained and sad. It feels very heavy on my heart, and it’s making things so much harder for me. I know I’m not responsible for his salvation, and I’ve told myself that. But I can’t help but worry about him. I have prayed for him a lot but not sure God hears me because I’m not completely righteous yet. I know he only hears the prayers of the righteous. I often talk to God, not knowing if he’s listening or not but I figure what can it hurt? I tell him all the time that my husband has great potential to be a good Christian and do many kind things. I beg and plead with God to help him. But so far....nothing. I don’t know what to do anymore.