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Circuit

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About Circuit

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  1. I know it sounds like a bit of a dumb question, like why would it matter, but I can't see how the apostles could look at a massive gathering and be like, "yeah, that's about 5000 men, not counting women and children". How did they know how many military units there were throughout the OT? Gideon's 300 was probably easy enough to count. I can't imagine how long it took to count how many people were in the 12 tribes.
  2. I'm not proud of it, but I admit to being a bit hotheaded behind the wheel. You could insult my mother, spit on my shoes, nothing like that sets me off or gets me from 0 to 100 real quick like other drivers - getting cut off, having someone ride my bumper, etc. I'm also the kind of angry person who is explosive and nonsensical. I can be somewhat loud and what I say doesn't make sense, and it is often coated in excessive amounts of swearing. Cleanest I could probably share is me shouting, "I hope you choke on a pretzel, you pinhead," (among other things) at a guy that cut me off. It's not good and I really need to stop. Perhaps getting upset isn't unfounded, but the fact that the anger comes, it comes quickly, and it makes me sling insults and swear words so profusely, uh... Yeah, kind of need to break the habit. I'd appreciate any advice. Also, side note, but it needs to be mandatory for people to be tested rather than just allowed to renew their license, regardless of driving record. People may have passed when they were 17 or something, but that doesn't mean the info is retained, that is has stayed the same since then, or that review is a terrible thing. Nothing to do with the main purpose of this topic, but just putting that out there.
  3. Some people, they just aren't worth it. If what they say of you is really so negative and they refuse to see the error of their ways, I'd just ignore them. Ignore all their comments about your skin, your weight, or calling you ugly. It's like someone calling you a floppy squid. You are neither floppy nor a squid, so they just look stupid. I realize that's easier said than done. I've had to deal with coworkers being a bit like that, talking smack and trying to start trouble. Believe me, I felt like giving it to them. But that's just what they want. They want to bother you and get a rise out of you cause it makes them feel good, somehow. They can sit there and bark if they wish, they only waste their own time. I feel uncomfortable commenting about an underage girl's appearance, but you are not fat nor ugly. Even if you were, so what? I'm not a terribly attractive guy, but I don't let it stop me. What seems to be most attractive is not to much "confidence" (though some would use that word) and more being comfortable with yourself. All anyone ever wants is to be treated like a person, honestly. It's not as normal as it probably should be. After all, beauty is nice, but it doesn't last forever. If a person lacks the personality, what's the point? I just approach a woman like a person. Not trying to do some social dance, not trying to puff myself up to try and seem appealing, not spitting bad pick-up lines/hitting on her right away (I'd prefer to be friends first)... And me, a somewhat short fellow with a gut, I've had women chase after me. Pretty, ugly, fat, skinny... What truly matters is your heart.
  4. The knights were training in the castle courtyard when a courier approached one of the knights, bearing a scroll. "I've been looking for you," the courier said, "I've got something I'm supposed to deliver, your hands only." "Very well," Sir Willams said. At this, Williams was handed the scroll. He noted it felt rather heavy. "Important deliveries to make, no time for chatting," with this, the courier ran off. "What is it?," Sir Allen wondered, looking over Sir Willams' shoulder. Curious about the contents himself, Williams cut through the wax seal with his dagger and opened it. A loud racket followed, landing on the ground with a thud. "Ugh, it's just chainmail."
  5. The Pharisees and Sadducees, while allied against Christ, were never the more opposite. In order to play them against one another, Paul says that he is a Pharisee and that he is there concerning the resurrection. Sadducees did not believe in resurrection, or angels, or spirits, while Pharisees did. So stating this made them argue vehemently. Imagine you have a room full of Democrats and Republicans, and having their attention, you say, "welfare reform". Then you sit back and watch as everything quickly goes off the rails, all the while, they've pretty much forgotten about you in the turmoil.
  6. Hello everyone. Thank you for your responses and prayers. First, I would again like to apologize for this post. I had made a mistake, and when I mess up, I get upset and all the negative feelings aim inwards at myself. I have to spend some time beating myself up before I can settle down. I either should've waited until I had settled down so that I could post something less negative and rambling or perhaps I shouldn't have posted at all. There was just a little too much lack of restraint here, I think. Second, what you all say is truthful. I tend to try and wait to pray until things get bad enough, but then I'm in the midst of the mess, and unable to think too clearly, I just end up making mistakes again. I really need to work on praying sooner, nipping things in the bud before they come to fruition. I prayed last night stating that I had no desire to give up seeking God. In reference to the line in my OP, "not even sleep gives me rest," I often have disturbed sleep. Never quite fully asleep, and my dreams are either highly confusing or inappropriate. I have thought to myself before, why can't I just dream about normal things like other people, like going to the supermarket or reliving some memory? Funny enough, not only did I sleep better last night, but I had a dream about shopping at the supermarket. I woke up today feeling rather nice. I believe the dream might be an indication that I've been heard, and I thank the Lord for this. I will continue to try and rely on the Lord and get into the habit of praying before things fly off the rails. Again, thank you for the responses and prayers. God bless you.
  7. Time and time again, it's always the same mistakes. Time and time again, it never seems to get through this thick skull of mine. I wish to improve, but my actions speak contrary to that wish. I'm so messy. My mind is all jumbled. Not even sleep offers rest. It's just constant, continual disquiet. I don't wish to be repulsive, I just am. I've tried to change for so long. How can I please God when I am so disgusting? Why must I be so gross? How can I change when my life, my mind, my body, so much of me spirals and twists beyond control? Will this evil ever go away? I'm so sick of myself. So tired. This rotten meat, this nonsense within myself. Must one cut away who they once were? How does one go from being unclean to clean, just like that? It can't be so simple and easy. So quick and uneventful. I don't know how to not be me. How can one let go of things they have always known? I loathe it, but it is familiar. I don't know what I'm asking, exactly. I've posted this after screwing up yet again, and when I screw up, I freak out. So perhaps I'm not in the best mind at the moment, so if I don't make sense, I apologize. All I want to know is how to change. How to not be me anymore. I'm not very fond of me. Never really have been.
  8. This is something that has me worried lately, what with considering school and then the potential income that comes with the job i'm aiming for. How does a guy not get lost in trying to pay off debts? Even if I pay off my debt, what am I to do with such an income? Paying it off would be easy enough, but then i'll just have money gathering up. I have the intention of donating much of my paycheck to charities, but I worry that the access to such an income might be my downfall. Not that I don't wish to pursue accounting - I had a mind for finances even when I was a little kid. It just makes sense to me. I just worry, is all.
  9. Circuit

    Newbie

    I'd like to be a bot. I wouldn't have to eat and I could get wifi anywhere. Welcome to Worthy, Ms Hayes.
  10. I've dealt with family gossip myself, which is funny, considering I haven't seen nor spoken to the vast majority of them since I was still in the single digits. They don't talk to me or invite me to their holidays. Why would you talk about me as if you know me or my situation? I don't want anything to do with my extended family. There are bonds deeper than blood, and I consider them "relatives" rather than family. If I were you though, i'd just let them talk. People can say what they want, but their say-so doesn't make it true. If it does get to a bothersome point though, yeah, you could consider just cutting them out of your life. If they can't mind their own business, then they don't need to be in yours. That's how I see it, at least.
  11. Let me tell you all a story. I was young at the time, and there was this girl I rather liked. We really hadn't had any conversations or anything; it's just that she was cute and seemed pleasant enough. I crushed hard, but as it was, I was far too scared and nervous to approach her, much less talk to her. How could I, without speaking to her, get my feelings out there? According to the movies and the shows, it was a love letter. Looking back, of what little of it I can recall, It was hasty and stupid. I think I wrote something like, "Your eyes are like the deep sea, dark and beautiful" - cheesy poetic nonsense, you know? Of note, I made certain to not sign my name and instead wrote "secret admirer," because I was far too nervous of her knowing who I was; low self-esteem and all that. Then, just as well, I didn't think of what she could do so she could even show interest. I didn't write something like, "if you're interested, pull on your nose twice" or "return this note to locker number ____". So it was basically pointless, a "hey I like you" and nothing more. We had to do a group project, and so she ended up leaving her desk. Seeing my chance, I walked by her desk acting like I was going to blow my nose, but dropped the letter on her chair stealthfully as I passed. The end of class came near, and the last five minutes of class were spent waiting by the door to leave. I got to the door first, as always. I saw her approach her desk, and she picked up the letter and read it. She looked confused, and started flipping it around like she was looking for a name. When she couldn't find one, she holds it up and shouts, "WHO WROTE THIS?" Everyone is class turns around and looks at her. My heart is in my throat. I develop an instant 5 layers of sweat. I could swear I lost color, and I started shaking a little. "WHO WROTE THIS LETTER?" She shouts again. Many of the students are gathering around and reading the letter. My letter. My terrible and horrible confession. A few are laughing and i'm dying on the inside. I was lucky that she didn't find it until the end of class. The bell rang and I was like the roadrunner. Poof! Gone. I didn't even wait for it to stop ringing, I just booked it. I don't know if they ever found out that it was me, and I never heard anything through the grapevine, but do I ever hope they never found out. The embarrassment was enough that I couldn't bring myself to confess to her directly, and it turned out for the best - I realized later that it was a passing fancy; the crush was just a crush.
  12. Don't underestimate the value of advertising/marketing - Getting the name out there can really make or break a new business. Investors can be great, too. Best of luck with your business.
  13. I'm unsure of what I want to do, exactly - I'm going to have to go to the tech school in town though, as I simply cannot afford otherwise. I was thinking programmer, but the job growth rate is vague at best, and one site warned that many companies hire out-of-the-country for that job, so they can pay less. Only fear I have is that a lot of kids get into programming, so even if the rate looked good, i'd probably have lots of competition. Then there's information systems tech which has decent prospects, medical lab techs which seem to be in demand here... I don't think i'd mind accounting, but I don't relish the thought of having to tuck my shirt in, nor crunching numbers day after day (i'm not bad at math, it's just tiresome). I'm unsure of what path to pursue, so I guess i'm just asking for guidance here.
  14. I do not like that my eyes wander. Women are worth more and deserve more. Even if some blame can be placed on a woman if her body is on display, I still believe it wrong for me to look. I have been attempting to train my eyes to "bounce away" when it occurs, but it's like I have magnets on my eyes. I can bounce away, but unfortunately, the eyes often bounce back. I'd rather honestly just not even experience that pull to begin with, you know? As such, I am posting here to see if anyone can offer advice. Thank you.
  15. It only became a problem on Tuesday, but I guess you could say that it's been going on for a while. Several months ago, whilst I was trying to fall asleep, I suddenly felt footsteps on my bed. I was freaked out, of course, but just focused on what the feet were doing. The feet were walking here and there, kind of walking the perimeter of my bed, though occasionally stopping. I eventually fell asleep, as they didn't seem to be doing anything. It wasn't something that happened every night, but over those several months, the feet would come back. Just walking on the bed. I got used to it enough to where it didn't bother me. It sounds dumb, I know, but I guess I didn't think much of it. However, then comes Tuesday morning. It takes me a minute to wake up, so I was in a sort of half-sleep. I was sleeping on my side, as I usually do. I experienced as sensation almost like vertigo as I tried to open my eyes; the room wobbled and my eyes couldn't focus. I closed my eyes to try and get them focused. I then noticed what felt like rocking. You know how you put your hand on someone when they're asleep, and you give them a bit of a shake to wake them up? It was like that. I thought, "what's going on?" I don't think I felt a hand, though it was maybe too faint for my tired mind to register. As soon as I thought that though, I felt myself being leaned backwards. It was in the process of this that I heard very soft whispering. I couldn't make out what it was saying; it was either gibberish or some language i'm unfamiliar with. However, when I had fully been leaned backwards, I heard whatever it was whisper, "I hope that we can have a dream together, you and meeeeeee" and those extra e's are there because the voice trailed off like that. You bet your backside I was freaked out. I didn't know how to respond or what to do, so I just sat up in bed and stewed in my confusion. Touching me in my sleep, much less whispering creepy stuff into my ear? That is NOT cool. I was paranoid about it all Tuesday, I was paranoid enough about it Tuesday night to pray that nothing touches me or whispers to me while I sleep (thank the Lord nothing did and I got a decent rest), and i'm still fairly paranoid and confused about it now. I'm not certain what question i'm posting here; I guess I just thought i'd seek out advice here. If you can help or lend advice, it would really be appreciated. I don't know if I need to decorate my room with crosses and wear a braid of garlic around my neck or what, man, my bed doesn't seem safe anymore.
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