Worthlessloser

I'm not allowed to reply

7 more days until I get my gun, only 7 days of suffering left

Thanks for all the replies. It's clear to me now that God doesn't exist. Reading the Bible is a waste of time. What's more, christians are like fortune tellers: they promise false hope, promising that things can change and get better when they really won't and can't. My life has been worthless and pointless from the beginning - it will never get better, and this pain will never go away until I shoot myself. Life is cruel and there is no loving God, no one watching over us or waiting for us.

Like the title says. I put in the paperwork for a permit over the weekend, will buy a gun when it goes through, drive up to a mountain somewhere secluded, and blow my head off. Yes I know it's a terrible sin, but God is only watching when I do something bad, waiting to punish me. When I try to do good, He doesn't care. The essence of being a Christian is that there's no relief to suffering, but you can suffer more and more; you never get better, only worse. So I've had enough of a life that just gets worse, never better. This God who is supposedly loving, supposedly only wants good things for me, somehow lets me continue to suffer, dangling a promise of a better life that never comes. Enough already, time to end it

God is enjoying my suffering. He made me a loser, a worthless, pathetic piece of trash, while others get to succeed and enjoy life. He's condemned me to be pathetic and worthless. I ask Him for help but never get any response. He leaves me to be alone, even though I know everyone replying will say I'm never alone and He's always with me. It's always about what he wants, and clearly he wants me to be an inferior scum, just garbage. What about what I want? What about my hopes and dreams and my need for love? No, it's all great what he's doing, letting me lie in torment, not answering my prayers, not changing anything in my life, not letting Himself be known AT ALL. Oh but he's always there, he's always helping me and wanting what's best for me, meanwhile my life is in complete shambles and I want to die. I would pray to die tonight in my sleep but I know it won't be answered. God chose to make me a loser, and doesn't care enough about my suffering to do anything about it