worriedwife69

LIfe this past couple years has been extremely difficult with a lot of trials. Started back in 2019 when my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. He had surgery and chemo and so far he is clear but upcoming scans next month always pose severe anxiety. With that and so much death around us lately I have been extremely afraid of death. Who may die around me, pain, suffering. I know that is what is it on this side of heaven but I can't help but feel so afraid, I feel like I'm waiting for the next person, or my husband to have another health issues as he has many. I don't know what to do, I pray and cry out to God so much and it does help and I know he is my strength but I still can't get over this feeling of anxiety and worry.

Thank you, I am so thankful that we were lead to a new doctor or the cancer never would have been found. I am thankful he had surgery to remove it, but it's hard to not let that fear go that there is a fairly high chance it can return or come back some place else. He was not able to to one of the chemos due to the severity of the nerve damage it could cause and he already had nerve issues. My husband didn't think quality of life with the chemo and not being able to use his hands or walk was a risk he wanted to take.I know it's all in God's hands and there are so many things I am thankful for.

Thank you so much!

I'm so sorry about your cancer as well. Will you nerve damage come back? We have heard some can some may be permanent and if it does it takes a long time. It's just so hard to know if it's from the chemo or not. I am so sorry for what you are going through, I can't imagine. I just know that my husband will not deal with it well if he can't use his hands or if he can't walk well. I am scared He has an appointment with his neurologist this week. please pray for good answers and something that will give him hope. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers for your situation. I had to go back to work because we couldn't afford for me to remain off any longer. I work from home but it's hard sometimes when he isn't in a good mood that I have to be here and listen to it but I remain hopeful and positive and have faith Jesus is at work in his and my life. Thank you

I'm so sorry you are going through something right now. no matter what storm we are going through it's all difficult, I believe everyone has some kind of storm they are going through as we do not live in a perfect world. Hope you can stay near to God and thank you for your words of encouragement

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I worry more not only for his salvation but just his declining health and what it will do to him. He is not a positive person and that scares me. I know I need to rely on God and I do but it still his hard. It didn't help today at his chemo treatment, they had issues with his port and it ended up taking way longer and he was so frustrated, but he got there and got it done.

It's been awhile since I have posted. My husband will be completing his chemo for stage 3 colon cancer in 2 more weeks. Needless to say we are thrilled the end is here. However, this end is now causing a lot anxiety and fear knowing that we will have to live each day wondering if the cancer will come back or show up some place else. I know I need to put my faith and trust in God but it is still so consuming. Also dealing with my husband, his anger because of his medical issues has been difficult as well. During all of this he has had some nerve thing going on which is really frightening as it is causing tingling, weakness and numbness in his wrist and hand and now is feeling something in other hand. He is petrified which comes out in anger (not towards me just says a lot of stuff), the fear of losing mobility in your extremities is scary knowing you may not be able to work. Sometimes I feel like i cant handle this anymore prayers please for us

Thank you for asking, they actually have been on the higher side lately but we have been working on diet to lower it. His moods have been like this since finding out about the cancer diagnosis, don't get me wrong I completely understand how difficult that time was for us. He has had a lot of different medical issues over the years and he just keeps getting something new, I understand the frustration but he just gets angry and the things he says scares me and I just don't ever know what to say or how to act especially when he says he's tired of all of it and he just wants to give up. I try to be encouraging and pray constantly for him. Its just hard.

Hello, since the last time I was on and updated, my husband had his scan which was good. Thank God!!! First of January he had to do his treatments for his neuropathy issue he has, it flared up again in mid Dec. So 5 days of that which put his chemo out going on 3 weeks now due to low blood count. It is difficult because he just wants to get them done. I made the decision to reopen my daycare Feb 3 knowing he would only have 2 more chemos left and now he is at 3 if he can go in Monday. His moods have been all over the place, one minute he seems happy then the next he is angry and is constantly saying he is so tired of all this stuff that keeps happening to him and doesn't want to deal with it all anymore. It is SO HARD to know what to say and do when he talks like that. I am nervous reopening because there is that fear something will happen with his health again, which puts us, (me) in a position to have to make a decision to remain open or close again. One of us has to work and my income is more steady. Please continue to pray for us. His health, his attitude his salvation. Please pray for me, strength and to have faith. thank you

The Lord answered our prayers and the scan showed nothing, I was able to tell my husband that he answered the prayers of everyone who was praying for him. He didn't say anything so I am so thankful, I feel God is working in him.

I wanted to drop in and say hi, things have been the same here. Husband is doing chemo although he decided to no do the second chemo, even at half the dose it caused a lot of unpleasant side effect for 2 weeks. I worry about that but I know it's not my decision and know God is the ultimate healer. He went in for a CT scan yesterday because he has been having low abdominal pain for a couple of weeks now and now the wait is very stressful as we go through this week and will know the results on Friday. I told him I am praying everything will be good and that nothing serious is going on. My question is what if my prayer isn't answered that way and something is going on, being that he already says God hasn't answered any of his prayers he will just say God didn't do anything for him again. How would I answer this for him? I mean I'm praying it will be answered and I can say God answered mine and everyone's prayers who are praying for him, I just don't know how I would respond. Please pray for him and the scan thank you

Well just another update. This is day 6 from his chemo and with this new chemo at half dose he has been very sick and has slept the majority of the time. He doesn't want to do the second chemo anymore, I am torn on it. I pray that the right decision is made for him and praying heavily about all of it. I know no matter what God is the ultimate healer. There are a lot of literature that the second chemo drug is only a boost for the main one and it doesn't add a lot of percentage to survival. What we re really dealing with lately is my husband as I've mentioned is very up and down on moods, lately he really has been down and thinks it will come back anyways and will die from this eventually. Please pray for him and me as I never know what to say and still for his salvation. thank you

Thank you for all of your prayers! Today he did his chemo and things have gone ok. He was pretty down like always while doing chemo and now he is home with the pump for 46 hours, he hates it but better than sitting there. Please pray that he (we) will make the right decision about one of the chemo drugs. Treatment is normally 2 different drugs, they have only been giving him one because the other one causes neuropathy and a majority of the time it can be permanent after a few treatments, and this can come on months after chemo has stopped. Since he has already struggled with neuropathy issues he is very worried about this second drug as it will really affect his quality of life, he would have difficulties working, walking ect. Please pray we will make the right decision on whether to continue or stop that one. Thank you

Thank you for all of your prayers, it means so much to me. This chemo treatment went with more ease. As we walked in to the clinic, his famous words he says every time was, I'm so tired of being here,(at the clinic), but he joked around with the nurses and it went really fast which that in itself boosted his mood. During the 2 days he has his pump buddy he was more relaxed and seemed to get through those days easier. He had a couple of bad days but never once did he complain or say he didn't want to do chemo anymore God is working, I know it!

Thank you, I agree that I think sometimes it's due to just being in the moment of hurting and he doesn't mean what he says, however, there are times I think he doe mean it. Pray pray pray is all I have been doing, for wisdom and strength. We do talk about how when he is done with chemo he can start getting ready for dirt bike riding. That is his favorite thing to do. He still gets discouraged thinking he wont be able to do it again due bowel changes but I keep encouraging him that he will be able to again. I like when he does talk about next year I want to do this trail or show you that trail. So I hope he is encouraged. I am still praying for his salvation.