Christiangal

Jesus said “forgive them for they know what not they do” when people were crucifying him and Stephen said this when he was being stoned to death. I find this amazing BUT sometimes people are evil and know EXACTLY what they’re doing. They know they are intentionally and strategically destroying your lives. Isn’t that what a narcissist and psychopath does? Or a racist or someone with a cruel evil heart? So........ can you honestly ever say “forgive them for they know not what they do”? Do they really not know what they are doing?

So I was watching what seemed like a family friendly cooking competition TV show with my Dad. Turns out one of the contestants was gay. So my Dad got mad and accusatory and asked me why I chose to watch that show as if I chose to watch it because I might be gay. I got really mad and then my Dad laughed and said he was glad I was mad about it because that eased his suspicions. I’m sitting alone now , I feel depressed and angry. I don’t even have an appetite. My Dad apologized but I’m still so upset. I got mad at him and now I also feel guilty about getting mad on top of everything else. He is old and I’m pretty old myself. Both of our nights are ruined. It’s just that he’s done this junk my whole life. This is why I’m so shy around people. I’m always scared I’ll do or say something wrong. I mean that TV show was totally out of my control and it seemed like a perfectly innocent thing to watch. I’m miserable. I just wanted to know what you all thought. I mean im so warped in my mind now because of growing up like this I was hoping someone could unwarp me.

Thank you everyone. I’m reading all your responses. ?

Thanks. That’s so hard to do.

Sometimes I can tell someone is intentionally going out of their way to make me feel inferior. To make me feel ugly, less than , poor, insignificant. Because of my class, race, looks, etc. It it makes me so mad and upset that they’re doing it on purpose and enjoying every second of my sadness and anger. I want want to get mad at them, not just for myself but on behalf of all people they treat that way. I want to put them in their place! Who do they think they are? They’re the ugly insignificant one! But...what does Jesus want me to do?

That’s very romantic Neighbor.

I think I’m still single because I’m poor. I don’t think I’ll ever find true love. I wish I had it.

Well then I also don’t get that when we get to heaven we all will not be married. We will all be a bride to Christ? That sounds awful. In my mind I’m so obsessed with romantic love.

Ok I get it but I don’t get it. In my stupid mind it seems to me that there would be nothing more wonderful than being in love with a man. That’s what my biggest dream is. To be in love with a man that is in love with me. That’s what I want. More than anything. And I don’t have it. And others do have it. And I’m not supposed to care. But I do. And I’m sad and mad about it.

Ok..... but.... I guess I still don’t get it. But I don’t know what exactly I’m not getting. I love and believe in Jesus. But I want the riches of this world and I don’t have them. And that bothers me. And I don’t get it. I mean, to be honest, I feel like , even if I went to heaven, I would still want to come back to earth and be a princess married to a prince. I mean, my point is, I know I’m supposed to feel like it doesn’t matter and the riches of this world are worthless. But I don’t feel that way. And I’m just not happy and don’t feel comforted by the “true riches” of Jesus. I just feel.....sad, bitter and angry.

Hopefully this is the right section for this question, anyway—- I am having a problem understanding why God made/makes some people slaves/servants and some people princesses and why he tells the slaves/servants to just be good slaves and try to just do good and he tells the same thing to the princesses. ( Or why some people are poor and others are rich, etc. ) It doesn’t seem fair. I want to be a “princess” but I’m not supposed to want that and I’m supposed to just be happy and content and not care that some people are princesses and I’m just a “servant”. I’m not happy about it and can anyone explain to me how I’m supposed to not care?

Yeah. Stinks. They are such a BIG church everywhere and always have awesome stuff to do all the time. You’re right though.

Hi guys. So I went to a Church of Christ event. This is a very big church in every city in the world. They call themselves a non-denominational Church . I really enjoyed it. They had such fun stuff all the time. Then I find out that they believe that you get the Holy Spirit when you are water baptized. They take that verse in Acts literally, forgot which one. Anywho, I was thrown for a loop when they actually told me that I don’t have the Holy Spirit because I need to get water baptized first. So this stinks because I was enjoying all the fun events they have but does this mean I shouldn’t go to their church anymore? Or is it ok for me to still go even though I know that their belief about water baptism is nonsense.....????

Thank you so much. My parents now just look at me with disdain like they don’t know what’s wrong with me and with this attitude of “why can’t you be like a normal woman!” It’s depressing. I feel the same way, I don’t know why I can’t just be normal like other people, then again my upbringing is a clue like I talked about. Anyway, thank you 1to3 and everyone for taking the time to respond. It means a lot to me. Hugs.

Hi 1to3, Ironically my dysfunctional parents have absolutely caused me to have nothing but horrible men in my life. I often go out with narcissists, men who don’t treat me well, and then I beg for them to stay and come back. I always felt inferior, like something was wrong with me and it’s always my fault. Its just a feeling I have with my Dad, when I try to be nice to him he recoils or accuses me of being nice because I want something. My mom just goes along with whatever my dad tells her. He has told my mom not to text me or call me because he thinks that’s why I’m not married. He thinks she is babying me and they need to be distant so I’ll grow up. They have have always been dysfunctional and it would take too long to get into it. Ironically they were too controlling and smothering when I was younger and now they’re trying to rectify that by not talking to me. But when I say they have literally gotten mad at me for not being married I am being literal. My Dad has told me with disdain in his voice that it’s ridiculous that I’m not married yet. At one point, I would get drunk to get through visits with my parents. When they found out about this they backed off and just don’t really contact me anymore. Anyway, there’s A LOT of dysfunction here. 40 years worth.