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emma01

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  1. Hello, I am a 17 year old girl and am looking for advice on how to repair my once very strong relationship with God. Here is a bit of backstory on how I got lost: It happened at the start of the summer- around June. I stopped praying every night. I can't tell you why other than I have been through a rough self-esteem patch and I just didn't feel worthy enough to pray. I felt like I didn't matter in God's list of priorities. It didn't stop there- I stopped going to Mass, making excuses when my family asked me too. My only true reason was that I was scared of members of the congregation looking at me and judging me as my self-esteem fell lower and lower. And suddenly, come the end of July I was a shell of who I used to be. I was so depressed and anxious and self-conscious. I feared going out with my family in case members of the public saw me as ugly. I was sad and angry and broken. By this point, two weeks ago, I had completely turned away from God and had even started admiring pagan religions and their myths and legends! And I just got sadder and more depressed than I ever was. I've always had obsessive thoughts but they began to take over my life and I couldn't even think about school or the results of my exams which are coming up soon. It was just yesterday when I realised that I have slipped down a dangerous depressive path all because I slipped away from God. When I had Him I was much happier. I had less anxiety and stress with God always by my side. And since I (unintentionally but still) rejected God I have been so sad and nothing like my usual self. I feel like I need to have God in my life and accept Him. So, I have tried praying again-which has began to sooth me. I have asked for forgiveness and have went to the Oratory where I said a few decades of the Rosary and lit a few candles. But I want to recreate that strong relationship I once had with God. I feel like God is the only path to make me truly happy and myself and to get rid of all my anxiety. Please, if you could, give me a list of how to improve my relationship with God so I can start school in September with God by my side once again to tackle my last year before university as a team once more. I don't want to be the rocky ground any more- I want to be the good soil and accept God's Word and Teachings.
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