Hi and thanks everyone for all of your replies. I do need my computer and it's difficult when temptation is just a mouse click away. I almost succumbed today but I felt His presence and the strength I lacked was visited upon me and I was able to make time for other productive things. I believe absolutely in His presence in my life. I know He is here with me and that I will be safe should I need to call upon His immense love and mercy.
I am however completely daunted by it all. Where do I begin with the Bible? Do I read it cover to cover or do I start with a specific book? What Bible version do I use?
How do I reconcile what God wants from me with the direction the church is going in my country (UK)? I believe that the world must stop at the door to church and then as you enter that sacred solemn space, you feel as if you are being transported into a Heavenly realm but over here and in so many churches and places of worship, it feels like it's simply an extension of the world. Gender neutral inclusive politically correct language and a watering down of the Gospel to accommodate a liberal society.
What's the point of belonging to a church or congregation if it's simply a continuation of all I've come to know thus far? I need to look into finding a church. I am personally not comfortable with Hillsong. There's something 'off' for me about it and I can't explain it any better than that. Too many celebrity types and 'personalities' within it. It feels too polished, too much like a social gathering.
I think what I'm looking for is the exact opposite of where my journey has taken me until now. I was loath to become a Christian actually because of bad experiences I have had over this past couple of years since first thinking about such big questions. Over here in the UK when I broached with Christian leaders that I was struggling with issues relating to porn, I simply got a shrug of my shoulders and comments such as "We all struggle with these issues" or "Don't be so hard on yourself" and that felt like they were ignoring/enabling the problem. I need something robust, something which girds me, strengthens me. A traditional church approach.