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Figure of eighty

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Everything posted by Figure of eighty

  1. yes but mt grandma hasnt dealt with babies in decades shes used to kids like 6 or 8 and i dont want to shell out 200 ( basically insurance) for a half done job. . Honestly a decent daycare costed the same amount so i wasnt really getting any benefit. Idk we'll see how this plays out. Ill keep u guys posted.
  2. This is so beautofully said. Nothing negative at all. Its true things can happen and you have to be prepared to lose them if that should happen. As well as oyjer things. Thank you all for your perspective.
  3. I mean i kinda was till i saw that picture. But i think its. Best to be fine either way... Its hard to lay this desire down but ill ask god to help.
  4. Right ...which is why i decided not to take her up on her offer
  5. Im talking about marriage specifically those that desire marriage. I was talking to a friend about it , well they were talking to me. I thought I reached a place of acceptance and was truly okay and even tried reassuring them that they weren't single because they were broken or anything else. To me she's a great catch. College educated, pure(virgin), hardworking ..ect.. However when I looked up a few friends from social media..I came across an old friend I really liked and saw he'd been married and all the feelings I thought were gone kind of hit me, the sadness and longing. I've always wanted marriage more than anything, more than being a mom. Honestly I didn't want kids but since it happened Im stepping up to the plate..but these feelings make me realize I truly did want to be married..but now Iv'e done too much and I don't think anyone would want me. I honestly empathize with her now and it hurts so bad to want something and have it denied especially when youre pushing 30. Its a horrible feeling it makes you feel like you're broken. Yes I do know some people get married in their late 30's, 40's even 50's but what if it never happens? Ive read where some people had a burning desire to be married, served God and still never got the chance to be maried and were in their 50's to me thats heart breaking. I think my question now is-- is it possible for God to call someone to singleness despite them having a desire to marry and they're just fighting it? Sometimes I feel I'm too broken for someone to be with-- I'd make a better friend or mom (which is why Im one now) but maybe I wasn't meant to be a spouse. Is it possible God gives us desires like wanting to be married just to lay them down as a test maybe? For me personally I feel I may need to let it go--I just don't think it's in the cards for me. Idk, I'm just wondering how to cope with it. It'd be nice if a chronic single answered. Thanks in advanced.
  6. Lord. Its 11:21a and the kids are over. ( We did have atleast 2 days or maybe 3 to ourselves) I really want to pull my hair out.. I think ill take my chances with section 8 because this I cant with this. My brothers qre too weak to stop this crap. I just don't know what else to do. I feel mean complaining... Eh. Just a hard situation to be in. Bleh.
  7. So. I really want to pursue sonography.. For 2 of the colleges Im looking at i have maybe 3 prereqs left...thats it. However the rest of my classes expire 2020 which is soon... If i do get in its. An all day program for 2 yrs.... But i would need someonw to watch the baby ..my grandma charges 200 a week. I feel i really need this degree because ill make good enough money to take care of my baby and finally move out. I just don't know if I'll have the support to do it. And i dont want to neglect my baby.
  8. Thank you. Yeah pregnancy is a roller coaster. Ive had a fairly good pregnancy, no morning sickness ect--so I guess I have to experience something. I do wonder if its most likely the pregnancy horomones. This defintely seems feasible but I kinda like you always struggled with nightmares :/ very horrible.
  9. Thanks-- because this is ridiculous. It just happens too frequently imo. This dream was horribly scary-- In short , just gonna summarize, there was this crazed boy that came into a school where I was at. Odd enough I felt i was warned previously by God Id get away the first time but the 2nd time Id escape it'd be terrible for me. So in the bathroom, we all heard the lunatic rant and rave, and there was a window in the bathroom-- I saw a group of kids and they were listening to a girl that told them how to get away. I decided Id flee with them and tried to go through the window.. however the crazy person came to the otherside and I tried to hop back into the bathroom but my shoes fell off so he knew. Anywho, as he tried to end me, I could tell he was hurt-I told him we could talk about who hurt him but it made himmore angry and before he ended me I woke up :/ yup. very disturbing. Trying my best to forget now.
  10. UHG. it happened again. which means here I am-- idk, getting it all out helps a little. I really don't know why this keeps happening but it does;
  11. Thank you. Luckily they havent been over for a few days thank God. And thank you for your well wishes about my baby. One more week and im in the 3rd trimester.
  12. I think you need to seek psychiatric help as well as a christian counselor because it seems these thoughts are plaguing on. You shouldn't suffer in silence .. Would also go to a nice biblical church with solid foundation. Be well.
  13. I understand the OP but like you i dont agree with defacing an object that doesnt belong to you. But the situation is resolved which is good but i think she should replace it though.
  14. Sorry i do think it's wrong for the simple fact it wasnt your property. Who's ever it was he spent his money on it.. I think you should have confronted your husband about the image and his friends instead of defacing an item that didn't belong to you. Just my 2 cents.
  15. Also. My brother listens to whatever my aunt says no matter what. She def has a hold on him which i find ridiculous-- I feel at 30 years old there's no help for him. Ive tried to tell him he shouldn't be controlled like that but to no avail. I dont think he'll ever wake up. EDIT: The kids left on time. Im very happy about that. However this only gets done when either my mom or dad is here. Theyre both here so they were well behaved and left on time because they don't tolerate that mess.
  16. I have told my brother. The only one he listens to is my mom. The kids are over today-- my mom told them they could only stay an hour. They arrived at 8p now its 9p...just seeing how long my brother will let them stay without me saying/ reminding him they need to go home. My mom said she was gonna move in November-- im gonna keep bugging her to just make the move because this is not it. Ill help by taking out student loans and getting tanf if i have to...a peace of mind is priceless.
  17. I mean i have voiced my concerns and not much was done. However when my baby gets here ill be very vocal. I tried being nice and that does nothing.
  18. Hopefully but im still apalled at them coming over at 1a so i definitely don't know how things will go.
  19. Its not my place its my brother's when they're over they play videogames of just watch tv. Plus what they're listening to drowns out everything else.
  20. Yes its hard bc jt just seems my aunt is taking advantage of him which I find sad.So he's caught up thinking he's following God when imo he's just following her. My brother is pretty much 30. Idk if or when he'll ever wake up. But i will stand up for myself and baby. Kids will never run me or tell me what to do or when to do it. Ever. However my mom has been the most vocal about it and gets the kids together making them sit in 1 spot if they dont behave and just puts them in a child's place where they belong. But now they wait till my mom goes to work to come over smh.
  21. If this was soley my place. Theyd be reduced to comin over 1 hour a day once a week. But ita not my place...and i dont like it. It just rubs me the wrong way bc i dont drop my little brother off at my aunts places at 10 or 11p. He doesnt raid her refridgerator or tell people over their to cook for him. He'd get cussed out.. So it simply wouldn't happen. I just hate there's no respect being reciprocated.
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