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emilylovesjesus

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  1. thank you everyone for your encouragement and kind words, and this is the conclusion I've come to, since I truly am repentant and trying to do everything I can to stop willfully sinning it is clear that my heart isn't hardened and so whatever that verse was talking about, doesn't mean I'm unforgiven That is such good news to have sink in after so many doubts and fears I was going through for a couple months! but I am happy I had to struggle with it because it shows even more how gracious and loving God is than if I just automatically felt forgiven after accepting Jesus as savior!! my faith has been strengthened so much this past week
  2. thanks, I found these other verses too just now that have helped give me some peace. This is from Romans 11: 22-23 and Paul is writing about the Jews turning from God and God making salvation available to the Gentiles. in verse 23 he says that those Jews could return and be forgiven 19 You will say then, “Branches were broken off that I might be grafted in.” 20 Well said. Because of unbelief they were broken off, and you stand by faith. Do not be haughty, but fear. 21 For if God did not spare the natural branches, He may not spare you either. 22 Therefore consider the goodness and severity of God: on those who fell, severity; but toward you, goodness, if you continue in His goodness. Otherwise you also will be cut off. 23 And they also, if they do not continue in unbelief, will be grafted in, for God is able to graft them in again. 24 For if you were cut out of the olive tree which is wild by nature, and were grafted contrary to nature into a cultivated olive tree, how much more will these, who are natural branches, be grafted into their own olive tree? God is amazing. I've been struggling with this issue for a while now but these verses clearly show you can be forgiven. I understand the verses I posted in my earlier post that it was actually talking about, if the Jews went back to Judaism and making animal sacrifices instead of continuing to believe in Jesus's once and for all atonement for all of our sins, their hearts wouldn't be able to be softened to repentance because they are turning back to Judaism and believing Jesus to not be enough. but, if they again turned back from Judaism to believing in Jesus again, I think they would be forgiven. I don't think it exactly means as I interpreted it the first time with "there is no way their hearts could ever be softened to coming back to Jesus again, period" instead of just, "as long as they continued to rely on animal sacrifices and Judaism to pay for their sins, their hearts wouldn't be able to be softened to true repentance through Jesus"
  3. Thanks for all of your replies! I read them and took them to heart. I have been feeling more grace towards my parents. and I keep in mind too, that Jesus was rejected and abused and abandoned and violently tortured and all sorts of horrible things, and He forgave everyone. so I have no excuse, Jesus has been through it too. God has been working at humbling my heart and I've been seeing a difference the past few days especially
  4. This happened to me, I was raised in the Christian church but had some hard experiences being different because I had mental illness and was rejected very often and confused and hurt, I became atheist and eventually got into New Age beliefs and came to realize it was all a lie and missed the relationship with God and Jesus that I had when I was little. I didn't realize that it wasn't just all in my head, and that I actually did have a true relationship with the living God when I was young! I now 100 percent couldn't not believe in God and Jesus even if I wanted to. but there are a few verses in the bible that trouble me, for example: Hebrews 6: 4-6 "4 For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted the heavenly gift, and have become partakers of the Holy Spirit, 5 and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, 6 [c]if they fall away, to renew them again to repentance, since they crucify again for themselves the Son of God, and put Him to an open shame." am I really forgiven? I feel and see God working in my life, but these doubts I get of if God will truly judge me as forgiven in the end on Judgement day keep popping up (and cause me to experience a lot of fear and depression).
  5. Thank you so much for your reply. I have come to realize that we are all sinners because of Adam and Eve, and I have to take personal responsibility for the choices I made even if they were a reaction to trauma and not knowing how to cope and being very young and naive. God still holds us accountable for every single action and choice. the more I try to take personal responsibility for my own actions and choices the easier it is for me to forgive my parents. and I am realizing it's not just a one time thing it's an ongoing continual forgiveness even during times when certain emotions towards them are triggered, it's okay that they are triggered but I have to forgive when it happens so the anger, hurt, blame etc passes
  6. My mom disobeyed God and married my dad and I seem to have got all of their negative character traits, as the oldest child(2 younger siblings who turned out fine and normal), severe mental disorder to the point where I am completely unable to work now, I am dependent on my mom who I am angry at and have a very hard time forgiving, I have been doing meds and therapy my whole life with nothing ever working or curing me, been severely depressed and hopeless and confused my whole life. I turned away from christianity partly due to the way my parents treated me and how much emotional abuse I suffered with both of them being christians yet i was traumatized by their behavior especially my dad's growing up. it didn't make sense to me. my parents both have mental disorders but are functional enough to work and be somewhat "normal". I'm not, my whole life has been really really miserable and I finally became a true christian and gave my life to Jesus on October 23rd of this year(I am 24), after coming out of the new age movement due to demonic experiences that Jesus saved me from, and finally understand christianity and the holy spirit in a way I didn't growing up christian(and then leaving my faith due to being confused and feeling abandoned by God or that God couldn't exist due to my mental disorder that no one understood or could tell me what was going on, I'm now diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, bipolar II, depression and anxiety) I have been lead by the Holy Spirit to find a christian therapy that I think will cure a lot of my issues, it is a deliverance based therapy and deals with dissociation and alternate personalities and demons(which I have all of, and both of my parents do too although my dad has more of it and is more likely to get this therapy after I do if it is successful, my mom seems unable to recognize anything wrong with herself and has a lot of pride) I think I am more angry at my mom than my dad, because of her pride, my dad is more damaged and messed up and caused more damage to me, but at least he is humble now and we have been emailing each other and working on fixing our relationship. I can't live with my dad, I live with my mom and am dependent on her right now because I'm barely surviving with the constant anxiety and depression and exhaustion from fighting wars in my mind non-stop my whole life. and I have a glimmer of hope with this therapy coming up, and my relationship with God and Jesus getting stronger every day. but I'm stuck on trying to forgive and not be angry, and I know how important it is. I am praying about it and would appreciate any advice, I really like this community and reading the testimonies is one of my favorite things to do on this site oh, and one more question I have, how do you honor your parents when they are also Christian but try to instruct you to do things that you believe God DOESN'T want you to be doing, but they have different christian beliefs than you? and interpret the bible slightly differently, like all christians do because we all have different personalities and God has different roles for all of us in the body of Christ and different plans for all of us, and speaks to us through the Bible in different ways. so for example, my mom will see a bible verse and it will prove to her that she is right about something, but I will have a completely different opinion based on other bible verses, and I tend to be better at being less selective of single bits of text and looking at the bigger picture context of the scripture than she does in my opinion(trying to be humble)
  7. thank you I'm being helped in the chatroom already I will still post my topic just in case the doubts and fears come back and for the benefit of other people in case they read it, but there are some very helpful people in chat:)
  8. hello my name is emily, I was a christian when I was little and both my parents are christian. I lost my faith when i was 17 and turned to agonisticism then atheism then back to agnostic, studied some different religions and eventually got pretty heavily into new age spirituality. i was isolating myself more and more and felt completely unfulfilled lost and hopeless and i had a scary experience with a demon that felt like it was trying to overtake me and i called on jesus to save me and i called my mom on the phone and had her pray for me and shortly after that I accepted jesus as my lord and savior:) I have been getting majorly attacked by satan and I have a post written out about it but I understand that I have to post a few more times so i will do that. I'm so happy I found this forum it looks awesome and filled with inspiration
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