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Jane1234

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  1. So tonight my sister mentioned that my dad had previously cheated on my mom and had a few things with two other girls not sure to what extent and I didn’t know about this. She was recently cheated on by her boyfriend and hasn’t been following God and this confuses her because she never understood why my mom stay with him but now she is in the same boat she is staying with her boyfriend. I knew that my parents had had issues but I thought it was like an emotional affair and never thought my dad could do that. It’s all in the past now but i am in shock. My dad is my number one role model and rock in my life. I am hurt by his actions that affected the family. I feel like my world has been turned upside down. Nothing has ever rocked my world view quite like this and I am 23 years old. My initial feelings were that I should lock myself up and be the most virtuous person possible to stop the hurt from every touching me in the future. But then I realized that I am currently living in a state like that and it has done no good to stop this hurt from coming. And then I start spiraling and think that the one person in my life that expects the most out of me and is my spiritual mentor that I have the utmost respect for has sinned so majorly and I feel like he has been very hypocritical. I don’t know how I can take him giving me advice and judgment for my choices in life when they have been far smaller than his. How can I still love my dad and be strong in my faith when everything I’m feeling is making me want to abandon what I know and even my family for not being who I thought they were.
  2. I recently started dating a guy who seemed perfect and too good for me. We have been spending every day together getting to know one another for about a week. He is new to town so we have a lot we don’t know about one another but he seems to be very open and honest about everything. We were making plans to go to a movie over text and he asked if I wanted to come over to his place after (for the first time) and he said he wouldn’t make an sexual advances. I was really happy he clarified this and it gave me the impression that he was being upfront on the fact that we would not be having sex together while dating. He then asked over text what my thoughts on sex in a relationship are and said if I was too uncomfortable we could drop it. I told him that I thought sex was great in a marriage. To which he replied “sweet, do you have any questions for me?” I said the same one he asked me. He then said he thought sex was important in a relationship however if one wants to wait that the other should respect that and hope that they get married and he would do that if I actually wanted it. My interpretation was that he was okay with premarital sex. It totally freaked me out because I believe sex is for marriage and so far he seemed to be a great christian guy. I actually started crying and didn’t text it for a bit. I wrote back to him saying that we have different beliefs and that we are not a match for each other but I wish him the best. He then realized that I was wanting to break up with him and he tried calling me twice but I ignored his calls. After I made my stance clear he says it was all a misunderstanding and that he believes the same as me and that he was just testing the waters because he didn’t want me to dump him if he said he didn’t want to have premarital sex. He says he won’t bring it up again and is trying to move on like it never happened but I can’t move on without this settled. So I cancelled our plans and he says I’m over reacting. I’ve l gone over the wording in his texts a lot and my first impression still sticks with me though I wonder if I jumped the gun and am ruining things with what I thought could be someone I could spend the rest of my life with.
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