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Justin9228

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  1. Forgive me in advance if this is not an appropriate place to post this. Hello everybody, my name is Justin. I'm 26 years old. I grew up in a family that I wouldn't really call religious. I remember we attended church only a few times growing up and never practiced any prayer. My father is an athiest and my mother is a believer as of recently after my parents divorced and now attends church regularly but does not take it as seriously as she could. This means I am not baptized. My life thus far has been filled with disappointment and loneliness. I constantly feel like I'm missing a big important piece of my life. I struggle with severe depression and anxiety. I have always tried to think logically. I dont believe something if I dont have proof. I spend a lot of time doubting and wondering why. This in turn has led me down a path of atheism. It has always been hard for me to believe in god when I never had proof. However, lately I have been even questioning this. Are my issues caused because I dont have faith? Are these misfortunes and woes in my life because the devil has had too big of an impact on my life so far? I watched a documentary on YouTube the other day of a man who claims to have passed away and was sent to hell after meeting with god because his whole life he had been an atheist. He then went into great detail of the horrors he expierence in the short time he spent in hell. God gave him a second chance at life and was revived in the hospital. This scared me deeply. I've always been a good person and always tried to do the right thing. I have a great amount of empathy for people and dont like to hurt peoples feelings. But I will still be sent to hell for not building a relationship with god? Life is a test and am I failing so far? I just have so much confusion. I want very badly to build a relationship with god and have faith and turn over a new leaf. But how do I start? Am I just being scared into it because I dont want to go to hell? I feel like the fact that I'm even having these thoughts is enough proof to have faith because I feel like something is missing in my life. Is that god? Or am I being selfish? I just dont know... My question at the end of the day is that if I want to change my thinking habits and the doubt part of my thoughts, Where do I start? How can I rid myself of the devils thoughts that hes been putting in my head my whole life. thoughts like (god is not real, there is no proof, when you die you just die). How can I start this new relationship with god and be forgiven for the doubts I've had.I kind of worry I'll always have doubts. Is that normal? Please, would really like some advice. Thank you all so much and I hope you guys have a great day.
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