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Everything posted by Thewhitedove

  1. Thank you so much everyone. Its great you know that you will all be here when I need you!
  2. After a lifetime of being a wishy washy lukewarm Christian mixed with New Ager, I had an experience in 2017. I always believed in Jesus but wasn't convinved on the Biblical Jesus. This experience happened when I still believed that Jesus was more like a tolerant big brother figure, rather than all glorious Son of God. At this time, I had a heartbreaking fall-out with someone, and my unforgiveness was making me ill. I prayed and prayed that I would be able to forgive the person. One morning I woke up at 5am, and it was the first thing I thought of. I prayed and turned over to go back to sleep. As soon as I closed my eyes, I was (in my mind's eye) in a tomb, sitting on a ledge carved out of the wall. Jesus was sitting on the ledge beside me, on my left. He held up his hands and I could see the holes. They were very circular in a kind of clean cut-out shape. He held up his hands and said, "I have holes in my hands...no more blaming". I immediately understood that He was telling me that He had been crucified and forgave even those who put Him to death, and if He could do that, I could forgive the person who had hurt me. His tone was very kind, incredibly patient, like how you tell off a child when you are in a good mood, if that makes sense...yet, he had total authority and as soon as He said that, I literally had no choice but to forgive the person. I was completely healed and my heart was restored in that second. I also detected that this Jesus was from the Bible and was not a hippy, anything-goes kind of Jesus that I had been believing in before. It wasn't wasn't an immediate process as not everything in my life was in place yet (I had not met the right people yet etc) but I am now a Born Again Christian, and that experience had a lot to do with it. I had always thought that I had had an encounter with Christ but heard someone saying that visions of Jesus are never from God. What do you all think? Are all signs or visions from the enemy? Or can they be from God as long as we match it to scripture? What do you think?
  3. Dear all, I am going to need my brothers and sisters in Christ very soon. Can you help? Quick background- was a wishy washy, cultural Christian/ lukewarm Catholic/New Ager all my life. Live far from family with my non believing husband and small kids. In April, I joined a Bible based church and was Born Again. I have one good Christian friend and the pastor is great, as is his wife. Soon I will be going back to see family for a month. My family and friends are either lukewarm Christians or nonbelievers, or somewhere within that spectrum. I am going to be alone amd will be telling everyone about my conversion. I know that everyone will think Ihave lost my mind (trying not to care!) and that I will also be put in situations where I will be expected to behave like the old me. I know God will be there the whole time, and that any persecution glorifies Him, but I'm weak and nervous. Can anyone relate or offer advice? Can I have some backup from you guys? Thank you!
  4. My husband told his friend and they both laughed about it. Apparently his friend didnt want it back as even he thought it was a bit creepy himself! I decided to read the mood of the situation and not escalate things with a big apology. I have one on standby in case matters change but I think its resolved now. A good lesson for me though!!
  5. Thank you. I completely agree. I am going to see how my husband wants me to proceed but am totally willing to say sorry and replace it.
  6. I feel convicted of having done something wrong. I texted my husband to pass on a full apology but havent heard back. I have no problem apologising in person but want to see how my husband wants to proceed. I have a feeling my husband wont tell his friend what really happened And dont want to embarass him if he has tried to protect me. I can imagine my husband saying the lighter got lost or something in which case I wont say anything. I was wrong though, as wrong as they both were.
  7. My husband is a non believer and occasionally smokes when he drinks alcohol. He goes to a bar some nights with his friend, who I actually find quite creepy. A few weeks ago, the friemd had lent my husband a cigarette lighter with the photo of a naked woman printed on it. Last night my husband was out and I came across the lighter. I dont know what took over me, but I peeled off the image of the naked woman (well, she looked about age 20 max) and put it in the bin. This morning my husband saw what i had done and said that he had to give the lighter back to the friend and that I shouldn't have done that as it wasn't mine to destroy. I just didnt want it in my house and I felt repulsed at the thought of who had manipulated or exploited the girl in the pic To pose for that photo. Was I wrong? Should I say sorry to the friend? At the time I wasnt really sure if my husband was supposed to give it back though at the time, I didnt care. Help! Thanks
  8. Love this. Thanks. Helping to shine Christ's light in my family is my priority.
  9. Of course. But it is more crucial that I pray for my husband's heart to be changed by God than be distractd by feelings of broodiness. Only God can take out his heart of stone and give him a heart of flesh for sure and I need to keep praying for him.
  10. I have tried to reply to everyone individually, but just to summarise my update...I think that yesterday's deep urge for a third child, while not a new feeling, came upon me with great force around a time that I have been praying ceaselessly for my husband's salvatiom. Yesterday I didn't pray for my poor husband at all. I spent the entire day either praying about a third baby or fantasising about one. This is a distraction to keep my husband from Christ. Great! It must mean that my prayers are working. I am shelving my plans for a third baby because my husband's soul is my priority and I made a promise that the only thing that would stop me fighting for my husband in the spirit would either be my death, or my husband's. Thank you Holy Spirit for giving me the discernment to know that the enemy is up to his usual tricks. I am going to pray double today and may even do a partial fast to fight for my husband. The unbelieving husband is sanctified through the believing wife, right? So my husband is kind of like God's son in law and already in the fold, as it were. God is going to claim him as his own very soon. God is going to break the bondage that the enemy has over my husband, because I am His child and I can ask anythig of my Father, and it is a perfect prayer because God's will is always to bring souls to Him. My will is aligned with that of God, who loves me. There will be no third baby to put me off course, except my husband who will be born again in Jesus Christ! Thanks everyone! Mystery solved.
  11. Miss Muffet, Thank you for your response. I now see that the enemy has been trying to distract me from my usual non stop, continuous, daily prayers for my husband's soul. I spent yesterday praying about babies and thinking about being pregnant and neglected to fight for my husband in the spiritual realm. I will indeed be grateful for my abundant blessings and repent for yesterday.
  12. Abdicate, You have hit the nail on the head. I have been growing deeper and deeper in my faith lately and really making headway in my prayer, especially prayers for my husband to be saved, when the strong urge to have a baby came back with force and consumed me all day. I prayed about it and thought about it all day and my husband's soul didnt get a mention. I wonder if the enemy has been trying to distract me! I am going to be thankful for my kids and leave the future in Gods hand while I continurle to go to war for my husband's soul, which I had been doing up until yesterday when I turned to mush thinking about a new baby, when the most important new birth should be that of my husband.
  13. Thank you BeauJangles. No I didnt mean a deal (at all lol) but more a mindset, an outlook, a way to frame my thoughts biblically and move on. The overarching 'strategy' I have picked up on here is to be content with what I have, and rightly so! Thanks.
  14. I have a two year old and four year old with my husband (non believer). We live far from family so dont get any help, but I don't feel like I am struggling. I have always wanted a big family but my husband says that he is done. He has a lower capacity for the stress of having two young children and I know he would be devasated if I got pregnant again. I, on the other hand, would love another and lately cannot stop thinking about being pregnant again. I have been praying about this for about six months and the longing goes for a while, then comes back stronger than before. I do not want to influence my husband in any way or for him to feel he should agree to another child to make me happy. I have prayed that if we are to have another, it should come from my husband. Should I just keep waiting either for him to change his mind or for the menopause to come (whichever comes ffirst! ). I want to do God's will but don't know 'how' to. I also want to submit to my husband and not do anything that would harm his mental health. Is this longing for another child a cross to bear? Im 37 in a few months and while Im not ancient, my family has a history of early menopause and complications with older mothers and their babies. The yearing is strong and I am starting to get upst when I see people I know having a third, which I know is so sinful when I have been blessed with two delightful and healthy little darlings. Honestly, I thank God every single night for my kids but I don'tdon't feel like my family is complete. I feel like I need some kind of strategy in terms of my interaction with the Lord on this matter. I have told Him everything that is on my heart but don't know what to do next. Thanks for reading!
  15. Thank you to everyone who replied to this issue. I tried to reply individually to everyone but my phone froze. Beau Jangles, Willa, Blood Bought, and Lovethelord...thank you so much. Everyone else O think I was able to reply to individually.
  16. Thank you both! Someone must have been praying! The Lord created an opportunity in conversation so I could slip my baptism in. My husband is completely cool with it. He says he finds it weird but if it makes me happy, I need to go for it. He also said that I can teach our young children about Jesus at home, and thats not a problem, but they are not to go to Sunday school. I accepted that As I think he is compromising a lot. He has said he will come to the baptism, and asked was there a party afterwards...I think he was hoping for a Catholic style baptism party, complete with lots of booze. I put him straight :-) A very positive outcome!
  17. As some of you know, I was born and baptized into Catholicism, was a wishy-washy Christian all my life, up until about six weeks ago when I feel I got saved. I come from a moderate Catholic family who think its nice to have a bit of faith and be good to others (when it suits) but you shouldn't be extreme about it. My husband is a total, TOTAL nonbeliever who tolerates my faith. They issue I. ...I want to have an adult baptism. My family will think I have lost it, and traditionally, this has been a big trigger for me as they have unfairly accused me of being unstable in the past. My husband will think that its crazy but I am worried about my parent's' reaction. And my inlaws...they will think I've gone crazy and will gossip about me. I am going to get baptised regardless. Their opinions won't stop me, but I would just like some advice or experiences from people to keep me buoyed up and encouraged as I step out against my worldy loved ones. I know that God will smooth the way and give me strength but just need a little push from my brothers and sisters in Christ. Should I pray for my loved ones to accept my choice without resistance or should I be relishing the persecution to be close to Jesus? As I said. ..the baptism will happen, but I feel like I need to really gather myself beforehand. Any tips? I am praying about it.
  18. What an uplifting response!!Honestly I feel so invigorated and energised. Thank youu!
  19. Thank you so much for your reply! And you are so right. There are definitely weeds in my heart that are stopping the Word of God...but I now know what I need to pray for. As for being concerned with what non believers think, this is a real problem. I was raised to always blend in and not risk my reputation. My mother was very into outward appearances and while I am much less like that than she was, I am a slave to what other people think. Can you give me a good starting point? What would be a good practical step to break free And put God first? I have been wanting to get baptised (was baptised as a baby but feel the urge to make my faith official). I have been putting it off as I wanted everyone in my family to be happy for me first. I told my mother this morning that I have started going to church and she was fine about it...but it shouldn't have matteted! My husband will think I'm crazy and wont approve...but I think it would be a good first step in boldness. What do you think?
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