Jump to content


Advanced Member
  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

3 Neutral

About DEA

  • Birthday 01/03/1983

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
  • ICQ

Profile Information

  • Location
    Canada, Sk.

Recent Profile Visitors

468 profile views
  1. Dear GOD, In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - Jane Dear GOD, Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? - Lucy Dear GOD, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? - Anita Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? - Norma Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? - Jane Dear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? - Nan Dear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? - Neil Dear GOD, I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying. - Elliot Dear GOD, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. - Margaret Dear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. - Jane Dear GOD, I read the Bible. What does "begat" mean? Nobody will tell me. - Allison Dear GOD, The bad people laughed at Noah, "You made an ark on dry land you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do. - Eddie Dear GOD, You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways. - Dean Dear GOD, Of all the people who work for You, I like Noah and David the best. - Rob Dear GOD, My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they? - Marsha Dear GOD, If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her. - Denise Dear GOD, Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother! - Darla Dear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. - Joyce Dear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (but I am not going to tell you who I am) Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. - Tom Dear GOD, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up. - Bruce Dear GOD, If You give me a genie lamp like Aladdin, I will give you anything you want except my money or my chess set. - Raphael Dear GOD, My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha! - Danny Dear GOD, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. - Larry Dear GOD, I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over. - Sam Dear GOD, I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions. - Ruth M. Dear GOD, I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. - Nan Dear GOD, If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes. - Mickey Dear GOD, I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. - Chris Dear GOD, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea. - Donna Dear GOD, I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are God already. - Charles
  2. 7400 posts!

    wow, congrats to you Ron on so many posts. But may I ask how many you would have if we took all the posts from the lastness thread away?
  3. A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell,getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!...But don't shove me either." One night Mike's parents overheard this prayer: "Now I lay me down to rest, and hope to pass tomorrow's test, If I should die before I wake,that's one less test I have to take." A little boy's prayer: "Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a big mess." A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night. "Dear God, thank you for these pancakes ..." When he concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken. He smiled and said, "I thought I'd see if He was paying attention tonight." Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you." "Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny, "I asked Him to help you put up with me." A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real. He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Good Lord, are you still in there?!" An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop - Acts 2:38!" (..turn from your sin...). The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar,"Why did you just stand there? All she did was yell a scripture to you." "Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had an AXE and two 38's!"
  4. Have to go make dinner but...

    CONGRATS that is truely awesome. Keep up the great work.
  5. A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait." Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to the end. "And lead us not into temptation,but deliver us some e-mail..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother,"There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens." How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. They're the only feet I got!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On the first day of school, about mid-morning, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom,hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken" the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."
  6. Hell???

    I would like to say thank you to all who have replied, I have found your words to be very wise, and I have learned much from you all. So thank you kindly I myself, and I'm sure many others of you will agree, find this topic very hard. I would much rather just praise the Lord that I am not going there. But I believe that I need to understand in order to better understand God's plan (not that I will ever be able to even begin to fully understand it). I think that if more people truly understood what hell is, they would be a little more vocal about God and their faith. That is why I have brought this topic up. I know that hell will be truly aweful, but yet I do not go and warn my co-worker about it. So do I have a full understanding of it? I think not Of course with the above statement the opposite can be said. "God is so wonderful" but do I understand God's love enough to go and witness. I must admit that I do not. But I would love to learn. That is why I would like to say thank you all for your word of wisdom. And I can only hope that I will learn more from God, my bible and all you here at Worthy. Thank you, to all my Brothers and Sisters in christ Daniel.
  7. An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from his bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of his bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in Heaven: there, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it Heaven? Or, was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wonderous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged, withered and shaking hand made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife. "Stay out of those", she said, "they're for the funeral."
  8. Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. 1. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help. 2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. 3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. 4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. 5. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. 6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. 7. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. 8. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor. 9. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study. 10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. 11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in. 12. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so. 13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday. 14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. 15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  9. There was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so she did a lot of flying. Flying made her nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing. After awhile, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?" The lady replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible." He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?" She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible." He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?" The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him." "What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically. "Then you can ask him." replied the lady.
  10. Atheist Holiday An Atheist complained to a friend . . .
  11. Word Association Game

  12. Hell???

    AMEN I could not agree more with that statement. Ok, I think I need to reword my question. I don't think I was very clear as to what I was asking Sorry about that, let me try again here. "First, hardly anyone takes all the talk about hell being a place of fire and brimstone literally. The Bible uses a host of metaphors to describe this place..." Let me just use this quote from the book. Is it true that "hardly anyone" takes it literally? I always thought that it was a literal description of hell, but this author seems to think differently. SO, let me ask again, what do you think about this? Thank you Kindly Daniel.