God is treating me with abject heartlessness.
What is God doing that is so heartless? He is engaging in bizarre conduct where he is forcing me to be perfect. If I’m not perfect, he allows Satan and other demons to mutilate my brain, keep me awake throughout the night, assault me, and torture me (please note: I am not here accusing God of using the demons to hurt me to punish me; it's that he is allowing it to happen as a consequence of my sinning). It’s heartless because I cannot possibly be perfect every day or even most days. Sure, I’ve been able to pull it off on some rare occasions, and God got rid of the demons that night, but it was only temporary: the demons returned some time later, and the problem resumed.
Please do not argue with me and tell me God isn’t requiring me not to sin. If he wasn’t, why am I experiencing what I am experiencing? I feel like arguing with me is counter productive. Please pray and tell God to quit being so heartless and forcing me to be perfect. Fact is, I’ll never be perfect. This means I’ll be tormented by demons for the rest of my life is God doesn’t change his mind.
God’s demands are just too difficult. For example, he wants me to quit nicotine. I’ve quit tobacco and moved on to using nicotine gum until I can get a helper pill to enable me to detox. But God is so heartless that he won’t tolerate me even using nicotine gum until I can get a helper pill to aid me in my detox (which won’t happen until I can see a doctor next July). Why can’t God show compassion and realize that no one is perfect? Why can’t God realize he is being a jerk by making these obscene requests not to sin even once when that isn’t possible?
Sometimes, I’ll be perfect on certain days, but God still won’t get rid of the demons because he’ll accuse me of committing a sin that I didn’t even commit in the first place or have no recollection of committing. He’s too hard and harsh on me.
Please please please pray that God will end his heartlessness and stop requiring that I never commit any sins as a requirement to be free from demons who torment me.