shadowkat

Thank you for this. I am not trying to break them up by any means. I want to support him because I truly want him to be happy, even if it isn't with me. I am thankful he is not a user; he's been there for me as much as I've been there for him. I am doing my best to find the balance of maintaining the friendship while giving them the space they need. With all due respect, first and foremost, I must stop and say that my friend is not the type of person to toy with emotions. He's been on the receiving end of that and doesn't want to make anyone feel that way. I understand your concerns as it is a way that many tend to act but he hasn't treated me unfairly. He has treated me as one inexperienced with friendships in general but he is the same way with his other friends and he has become a better friend over time. Please understand that I do not believe under any circumstances that he is toying with my emotions and you will not convince me otherwise. I honestly don't believe he has any idea of my feelings for him. If I'm proven wrong down the line, so be it. But I believe in seeing him how God sees him and treating him as such, as I do with all my close friends and we all had to start somewhere. I have read many articles on the Biblical stance of true friendship and I won't negotiate on what I believe was a calling. Now I probably DO need to take steps back in order to give them space because I have let my desires take over and I want to let them die away so that I can be the friend I truly need to be for him. But I do not walk away from people that I know have a good heart. I've had more experience in this area than I care to admit and I've seen his. I have spent many nights praying and I feel led to be in his life in this capacity. He has also expressed that he would like his girlfriend and I to be friends eventually because she may relate to me more than his other friends. I have told him that I'm going to remain at a distance to her until she figures out if she's going to be a steady presence in his life or not. This is the issue she keeps going back and forth on. If she decides to remain in his life, then I will happily accept her as my own friend. And yes she does go to our church but she didn't before he invited her. Thank you. Again I am not trying to break them up by any means. In the end I would like us to all be friends. Your prayers are appreciated.

My friends, I need your help. I'll do my best not to make this too long, although it is a bit of a story. Back in October, I saw a need in my church choir and reached out to a guy that was relatively new and was essentially getting shunned by most of the other men because he has tattoos and his ears are pierced. I actually feel really bad because I waited for a few months after I felt the initial tug and I wonder if I would be struggling so much if I hadn't. Anyway...we clicked almost immediately and soon we were talking practically every day. We are very similar and deal with a lot of the same struggles, such as depression. We've opened up to one another on a level that I've only ever replicated with my two best friends of 13+ years and we can talk for hours without it feeling like any time has passed. He has quickly become a close friend, one that I greatly cherish. My issue is this: I have developed romantic feelings for him, feelings that I'm pretty sure he doesn't return. He is in a relationship at this point and it's a relationship he said he has prayed for, despite that this girl has caused him a lot of heartache. It's hard for me to watch since I don't feel she is good for him and obviously I feel that I am. It's also hard because he is one that will ghost out on the people around him when he gets wrapped up in his own affairs. He doesn't mean to, he just has had really bad examples of friendship and I'm the first one that actually fights to keep him grounded. So how do I maintain this friendship in a Godly way without letting my own bias get in the way and how do I move on from my feelings? If you need me to answer any further questions that might help give better advice, please feel free to ask. I have probably forgotten something in my attempt to keep this short.