I posted on here back in September last year asking for help & advice as I was due to get married the week after I posted and found that I wanted to lead a more Christian life. I did marry against the advice of others (I wasn't going to break up with him a week before our wedding just because he was a non-believer). But then things got rocky 2 months later, we're still together but we've been arguing and having bad arguments. Things also spirialled out of control with my health, I was on tbalets that made my mental health really bad causing me to make a stupid choice to S/H and felt abandoned by everyone and so I lost my way with God shortly after. To be honest, I never really actively tried to create the relationship with God in the first place.
Then this week, I felt God trying to enter my life again... it may sound silly...but I was on pinterest and all these different biblical quotes were on my feed...I haven't really searched for those specific things. Not only that, but the quotes were exactly what I had been feeling. It was as if he was reminding me that he is still here.
I've also had other instances where I was expecting something 'bad' to happen but in the end it worked out for the better...
So last night, I really felt his presence.
As I wallked to my corner shop, I listened to Hillsong's "Mighty to save" in the quiet of the night, in my head and with an open heart, I prayed silently;
(something along these lines anyway - it was late andd was a surreal moment)
Dear God,
Thank you for giving me the life I am living.
I am sorry for losing faith in you and my way.
I am sorry for the things I have done in my past and hope you can forgive me.
I ask you for forgiveness and open my heart to you.
Please can you guide me to be a better person, wife, daughter, sister, family member and employee.
Please can you guide me so I can see how you see and lead me to a better way of life.
Thank you,
Amen "
Then I felt a cool breeze and a weird but comforting warm tingling feeling in my body.
I don't know if this was coincidence but it defiantly wasn't something i'd felt before.
Was this okay to ask God into my life and heart or do I need to do it differently?
I didn't speak it out loud but I asked with a clear mind, and felt ready to open my heart to him.
