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About GerdaHannah

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  • Birthday 08/26/1988

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  1. Hi, As many of you know I am undergoing emotional and verbal abuse by my mother in law (who lives with us) and my husband. I haven't found any help to move out of the house start afresh and heal. My mother in law's daughter just got a great paying job. She told me she also got a promotion (despite lying blatantly on her resume). I could almost hear the arrogance in my mother in law's voice as she 'ordered' me to congragulate her daughter. It does seem like the wicked keep growing. I dread going home and facing all the insults I am going to get from today onwards. I do not know why the Lord has allowed this to happen, am I being punished by Him? I have been praying for a Godly friend, for a permanent job, for a social support structure but nothing has materialised. Please pray for me that I get a good friend and a stable job (if possible government job with a house). I want God's will to be done in my life, and it will help if I hear God's voice and feel God's comfort constantly through my suffering. Thanks, A very broken GerdaHannah
  2. Hi Debp, thankyou for your support. Do not worry about suicide, I will absolutely not do it. I do not want to throw away the exceedingly happy eternity God has for me for my current problems. Suicide is a no-no. I think my husband and his mother might be trying to drive me out. When we bought the house we live in, I contributed a small part of the downpayment. So it could be that they do want me get out, but are unable to say it point blank. I really have no way of being sure unless they tell me. I tried talking to them about this, did not work. I wish for once they would tell me what is in their heart and what they really want. I sense that God will end all this suffering soon if I just hold out, and everything will fall into place beautifully when that happens. It is just so hard to hold out. I just wish there was someone from Toronto on worthyboards who would be able to help me. Its really hard being so lonely in this terrible situation.
  3. Thankyou everyone. I am almost spent right now. I am stressed out enough to feel physically sick. I have a severe headache and feel nauseous all the time. All that is keeping me sane right now is repeating "Lord, Thy will be done". I just wish all this could end somehow, even if it means God must take my life for this horrible situation to end.
  4. I will look at all the options you told me. My mother wants to live with me if I am going to leave my husband, and its hard finding a roommate who will take in a senior citizen. I was desperate enough to seek out a pastor for help, but that did not improve things in anyway. I will wait patiently for God to lead me out of this.
  5. thankyou for your response. The trouble is she lives with us, and my husband is willfully blind and deaf to everything she does.
  6. thankyou hazard, willa, depb, who me for your responses. I will try to answer all of your questions in a single reply. My husband knows what his mother is doing is wrong. He is not bothered since it is me and not him who is suffering. Far from supporting me, he complains about me to his mother knowing fully well that she will shout at me. I am not separated, I tried to leave the house in between but I have nowhere to go. My parents are unwilling to keep me, my friends do not want to help, I even asked a pastor nearby for help. He too thinks I must try to talk it out with my husband and not leave. Neverthless, he tried finding an affordable house for me, but could not find one. I do not want to go to a homeless shelter since there are a lot of drugs and abuse going on there as well. I work for a bank (with below average pay), and going to a homeless shelter might cause me to show up ungroomed at my job,and cause me to lose it. I tried telling them that if they do not stop I will leave. They have told me that this is how they will behave and I am free to leave if I want to. The problem is that I do not have anywhere to go to. I live in Canada now. If I get kicked out of my house, I will have to go back to India, and it will be worse than living here. Its not that I do not want to speak up, or I do not want to leave. I am not in a position to do either. The only good thing about my current situation is that there is no physical abuse.
  7. Thanks Jostler. I understand that Jesus did not criticise Martha. I want to choose the better part like Mary did. Its just that I want to choose to be like Mary, but to me it feels like taking the easy way out by failing to do the hardwork. In other words, I am really doubtful if I am choosing the better part (and not just the easier part) by choosing to sit at Jesus' feet.
  8. Hi, I was recently reading up scripture about Mary and Martha, and realised that I was more like Martha. I wanted to serve the Lord with all my heart, and was constantly anxious about whether what I was doing was correct and holy. Many of you may be aware of my situation from other posts. In a nutshell, I am constantly being scolded and criticised by my mother in law and husband. I am always stressed out thinking of whether I should talk back to them or keep quiet. I realised that Jesus wanted me to be more like Mary, and bask in His presence. But somehow it seems like running away from my responsibilities. I will truly heal and be happy if I can just ignore their scoldings and enjoy the Lord's presence, but is it not my responsibility to stand up to being criticised all the time. Or am I just overthinking everything like Martha, and should let go and let God?
  9. Thankyou Zemke and Debp. I called the bank and they have told me anything my husband is mailed, I will be mailed too. I will also call them each month and check if the mortgage is being paid. If it is not paid, my husband's family (his uncles and aunts) are willing to step in and get him to pay. I am truly grateful for your advice. I am just a bit sad that I am disappointing God since He does not like divorce/separation. I also have a money crunch and do not know how longer I can stay in my rented apartment. Please pray that I may grow in my job and make enough to support myself and my mother. Blessings
  10. Hi, I am a christian, my husband is not. We are undergoing a temporary separation to sort out a few things. We both bought a house together last year. My name is listed on the mortgage as a co-borrower. He still lives in the house we bought, I do not. My worry is that if he does not pay back the mortgage, I will also be held responsible. I live at a different address and will not know if the bank sends me any mail about the mortgage. I will ask him every month if he paid the mortgage, but he may lie to me. It will also not help with our reconciliation efforts if I text him every month just to ask this. What should I do? Is there any way for me to call and ask the bank each month if he has paid the mortgage? Can any of you please help me out? Thanks and blessings.
  11. Thankyou angels4u, It looks like the resource you shared needs me to be in danger to provide help. I am not really in physical danger right now. I will consider going to them if things get worse. @debp, I work in a bank, but there are no Christians I know of at my workplace. What is the best way to find out if someone is Christian or not? I would love to talk to a few Christians. It is soooo lonely being in a non Christian home. I tried speaking to my husband. He thinks all families have troubles, so I must learn to manage these problems and adjust to living with them. He is stuck on his point of view, and does not want to look at my side of things.
  12. Unfortunately I don't have access to a pastor or counselling. Its really upto God now, if He wishes to save me, He has to bring Christian friends into my life.
  13. Hi, I live in Toronto with my husband, my mother and his mother. I have lived here as a permanent resident for the past two years. I think I am beginning to undergo emotional/mental abuse. My husband and his mother find fault with the smallest of things, but they make the same mistakes. They make sure that my mother and I never talk alone. My husband has started checking where I go, he doesn't leave me alone even inside the house. They expect me to talk to them, but their idea of a happy conversation is to scold me and my mother. My husband has 2 faces, he pretends to be very good in front of friends, but complains about me to his mother behind my back. His mother uses this to constantly find fault with me. I work in an okay job that can put food on the table. I cannot afford too much rent though. My husband and his mother are not Christian, so we do not go to a church. I am not planning to leave them just yet, I want to live amicably with them as long as I can. But if I have to, do any of you know of any permanent safe place/hostel I can go to? I would like to go and live alone with my mom. I do not mind paying rent, I just want it to be affordable. Any church that can help us also ok. I came to know that women's shelter here is not very safe. Do any of you know of such a place in Toronto, Canada?
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