kittylover0991

**update** I want to thank you all for your responses. They really did help and many of them were so encouraging... I still having a hard time with the idea of getting medical help or the idea of going to counseling, but I talked to my RU (Reformers Unanimous) director who is also a doctor and he recommended a particular book. He said it would answer a lot of my questions. It is said to be scienfically and biblically sound, and so far, it is really good. I've only read like 25pgs in it, but I read that all at once while waiting to head out for the bus. The days are kind of up and down now that I'm at school. Been working on being more consistent in Bible Reading and prayer, and doing better with the strongholds in my life (victory to a much farther extent than before). I'm missing how my spiritual life used to be, I'm missing the joy that I used to have. The Lord has given me peace about the situation back home that I think I described above, but I got my eyes back on it last night so working through that a bit again. It's not as bad as it had been... I'm struggling with being called "shallow" spiritually... I know my bf isn't going anywhere, but I know what I would look for a future mate and it's not me.... there's a fear there though I know he's not going anywhere.... Just trying to learn to trust the Lord... I typically wake up in that sort of depressed mood, which seems strange, but reading and prayer always help. That started around the beginning of last summer but I learned that Reading and Prayer was typically the key. I'm longing for that relationship with the Lord I used to have... that fellowship.... Could use your continued prayers. Crys

Dear One You Are So Esteemed "For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." Romans 8:15 And Loved "The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." Jeremiah 31:3 Lean On Jesus "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6 And Be Blessed Beloved Daughter Of The KING "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16:18 Love, Your Brother Joe Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come. Psalms 71:18 I really really needed those verses... thank you... <debating printing them out and keeping them with me>

Thank you everyone... . This really helps... I can do that... it's just going to be tough for a while...

I'm humbled to come here today with even the thought... I was talking to someone kind of close to me (she is a mentor but we don't talk much ) and when I was on the phone crying, she asked me if I was dealing with any sort of depression... I know it was the Holy Spirit because there were things that she had asked me or brought up not knowing anything about what was going on. I told her that one situation got better and then the other half of my life fell apart, and she said she was going to send me something on forgiveness... I love how God works, but she also asked me about depression. It is something that I have looked at with a friend at the beginning of last summer, but ended up not doing anything about it, learning to walk with the Lord and live in his love, joy and peace... learning to yeild to the Holy Spirit. But this semester has been a mess... worse than a mess. As I was saying above, a part of my life got better and then the other half fell apart. The first part was awful... there was a week where it felt like I had just hurt everyone around me and ruined any relationship with them. All I could do was read and pray... In four days I had read Matthew, Mark, and half of Luke on top of studying for midterms. I found myself forcing myself to pray for hours at a time, not knowing what else to do. Then, things snapped at got EVEN worse. I got the phone conversation that broke the camel's back and I just kept saying to myself "I can't anymore!!!".... Then I went to go back and fall onto my dorm bed but slammed the back of my head on the metal bar across the top. It hurt SOO bad.... I still wonder if I didn't get a mild concusion.... But I couldnt' take anymore. It was 8 minutes before curfew, and I ran out to my friend's dorm, pulled her out into the stairwell, and cried so much, and so hard... there are few times when I can say it hurt to cry because the pain was so deep, and that was one of those times.... So broken.... Then, because I tried to do what I thought was right in that sitaution, the other part of my life fell apart when this part came back together.... but I couldn't handle it. I decided to live in that bliss, that peace that we have when we know that we are doing what God wants us to do... my life moved on, officially courting with the man of my dreams, and I just hoped that the other half would come together, that the fellowship and friendship that was so near and dear to my heart would be restored, but it never was.... I got away from reading, and I got even moreso away from prayer.... I failed over and over again and rarely had victory over the sin in my life. Bitterness grew and boiled in my heart... eating me away day by day. By the end of the semester finally, I was reminded of how to ask the Holy Spirit how I should respond to situations... I learned all over again how to the hear the Holy Spirit's voice... I dived head first into my RU stuff, anything to help... got back into reading three times a day as I knew that *I* needed spiritually.. got back into prayer, talking to God and allowing Him to talk to me... EVEN SAW A SOUL SAVED!!!.... but I went into the hospital for a few days because of MRSA and did okay but started slipping... Tried to keep it together, but the second side of my life, something that goes so deep was wavering.... It had a chance of getting better and then it was just crushed... many parties involved in this, but for me, there is unforgivness, there is such deep hurt that I can't handle it anymore, there is such bitterness.... but my spirit is crying... seemingly dying... I know that our spirit can't die.... but there is such distance between me and God... there is such hurt that it's between me and Him... there is lack of trust.... I want my life back but it's never going to come back again and it hurts so bad... I lost the thing most precious to me...... I wander around aimlessly through the day it seems. I sit on the computers for hours now fighting whether or not to read because I wonder "what's the point?" I keep failing and I'm afraid I will never be as strong as I once was spiritually. I have suicidal thoughts so much in the past year but not recently and so thankful for that... Those come when it seems I am ruining the lives of those around me... when it seems all I can do is hurt them and theres nothing I can but make it worse. Then when I realize how much I am failing God and may never get any better... it hurts more.... I don't know what to do... this can't be me.... becoming cold to the Holy Spirit, the bitterness that is still growing, being eaten apart by anger and hurt.... I need help..... Is this depression??? Me???? ..... Crys

Wow this is an awesome thread! Amen! Sir Gareth, I agree with the person after you. I love the tone of this entire post. Just to add... a verses I've been working on while studying meekness.. "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual restore such an one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. If any man think himself to be something, when he nothing, he decieveth himself." Gal 6:1-3 The Bible talks so many about rebuking one another and the proverbs are filled with how we should be able and willing to take rebuke. When it comes to someone offending us, the Bible commands us to go and talk to that person without discovering the issue to another, and if the person hears you, then you have gained a brother. This verse really jumped out in that we ought to help one another with meekness. We need to show them God's love, and part of that is showing them how the Bible says that what is being done is wrong, and depending, even how it potentially hurt them. We shouldn't think of ourselves as better or superior to them in any way as you said. Amen! Amen. Agree 100% We have to follow the Holy Spirit's leading or we will mess it up every time, and we need to be Spirit-controlled in our responses as well when someone gives us rebuke. Amen. If you don't mind me asking though, I'm loving the flow of this thread (AMEN!), but how do you deal with someone who is wrongly rebuking with a superiority complex?

Thank you Niki It is SUCH a good program because it's based on CHRIST and getting to know HIM.

Wow, this was about a year ago and drudging it up again, but I might finally have the answer It is definitly acid reflux, but that is caused not only because I would just drink juice (very acidic!) but also panic attacks which I guess then spurs on the acid reflux through stress o_o who would have guessed it. I've seen the Lord work in the area of panic attacks, but does anyone have any remedies for the acid reflux?

Amen That really is something to get excited about as long as we are sharing the truth in love The world is going to hate us, and they are going to say things like that, but what they don't seem to understand is that things like that are actually complements most often. It is showing what God is doing in our lives and we need to give Him the glory. Looking at where we came from to where God has brought us. Things like that mean that we are trying to witness for Christ and trying to live for Him and it's evident. Christ said that the world would hate us because it hated Him. Amen!

I can't speak for other places, but I know around where I live that AA is still very God-based. Wow, seriously? Where I'm at, AA is just what JCISGD said....and it's sad.... Two in New Zealand? Awesome. I'm almost done with the first workbook and it has helped me so much spiritually because it's not just a program, it's the basis of it... it's getting to know the Lord.

I was wondering if any of you have ever heard of Reformers Unanimous. It is an awesome faith-based (Christ-based!) addictions program. The program meets every Friday night, has three "talks," including (1) Talking to God through praise and lifting up prayer requests, (2) talking to each other in private groups discussions that are divided up by males and females if not age groups and (3) Talking to God through a message. The first workbook goes through the fruits of the Holy Spirit so it is great for other Christians too. The emphasis is on having a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, walking with Him day by day, and learning to yield to the Holy Spirit instead of the flesh. It meets across the United States AND it is international! It is Bible based and encourages us to go to church, to read our Bibles, and then to not just read Scripture, but to STUDY it. Not to mention there is even a push for soul-winning, but the key is not on performing, not on looking like Christians, but on getting to know the Lord and walking with Him. Has anyone here ever heard of it or gone through it? Crystal 2 Cor 12:9-10

I see what you're saying and going off of the phrase"... not really telling us to religious go to church every wednesday and twice on sunday..." I think A LOT of the problems in Christianity today, which I'm sure were still prevalent even Bible days, is that all too often we focus on being "religious" instead of focusing on what pleases the Lord. Day by day, moment by moment, we should be walking with the Lord, listening to Him, trying to get to know Him better and walking with Him. It's not about going to church three times a week, putting money in the offering plate, wearing the suit and tie or nice sunday dress. All too often it is taught perceived that this is what it is all about, but it's not. That is like eating the all of the icing off the birthday cake but leaving the cake. It leaves you empty, with your stomach feeling sick. That emptiness is what comes when we are merely putting on the look of the new without Christ changing us from the inside out. Speaking from ten years of experience of putting on this role... When Christ truly makes a difference, however, from the inside out, then those things are still prevalent on the outside. They are, however, not merely a list of doing 1, 2, and 3. They are desires and convictions that the Holy Spirit has worked in the life of the believer and it is IMPORTANT to be in church whenever possible... whenever those doors are open, as long as it is a good solid that truly preaches God's Word as God meant for it be preached. Now I must say, that is an interesting view about it being about your community and I'm not entirely sure about that. My gut says to take the verse for what it says, and that assembling is literally the assembling, not so much just who you hang out with, but a step beyond. However, I'm not sure and I'm going to have to ponder. Interesting!! Yes I agree with your sentiments. I should clarify that part of being a member of my church community means assembling together as one big group for services too! I just don't think the bible had in mind to mark your name on the attendance list in that passage. It's more than that, as you said . People can attend an assembly without ever being a part of the community of believers, and that misses the point, in my opinion. Amen. So, with that as the foundation, I'm left with the question... why is Sunday held in higher regards than a Wednesday night (or Thursday night) service?

I see what you're saying and going off of the phrase"... not really telling us to religious go to church every wednesday and twice on sunday..." I think A LOT of the problems in Christianity today, which I'm sure were still prevalent even Bible days, is that all too often we focus on being "religious" instead of focusing on what pleases the Lord. Day by day, moment by moment, we should be walking with the Lord, listening to Him, trying to get to know Him better and walking with Him. It's not about going to church three times a week, putting money in the offering plate, wearing the suit and tie or nice sunday dress. All too often it is taught perceived that this is what it is all about, but it's not. That is like eating the all of the icing off the birthday cake but leaving the cake. It leaves you empty, with your stomach feeling sick. That emptiness is what comes when we are merely putting on the look of the new without Christ changing us from the inside out. Speaking from ten years of experience of putting on this role... When Christ truly makes a difference, however, from the inside out, then those things are still prevalent on the outside. They are, however, not merely a list of doing 1, 2, and 3. They are desires and convictions that the Holy Spirit has worked in the life of the believer and it is IMPORTANT to be in church whenever possible... whenever those doors are open, as long as it is a good solid that truly preaches God's Word as God meant for it be preached. Now I must say, that is an interesting view about it being about your community and I'm not entirely sure about that. My gut says to take the verse for what it says, and that assembling is literally the assembling, not so much just who you hang out with, but a step beyond. However, I'm not sure and I'm going to have to ponder. Interesting!!

I can't say I agree or disagree with that statement... I think the two are so vitally important. What breath of a church is important to what accomplishes out in the community. The church members having their own personal walks with the Lord, and then coming together to worship the Lord in spirit and in truth, be under good solid Bible preaching, encouraging and edifying one another, lifting one another up in prayer, encouraging and rebuking in love... all of that. Sometimes asking the hard questions and saying the hard things. As we grow in the Lord through reading and prayer, yeilding to the Holy Spirit moment by moment, and as we sit under the preaching and allow God to work in our hearts and lives, He perfects that love in us for others. A little bit of a rabbit trail, but I found this in my reading a little while back and I'm so fascinated with it. Eph 4:32 shows that we should love and forgive others because Christ loves us. If you look in 1 John, however, the Bible says that God is love. We love God because He first loved us. Then, He perfects His love IS US... Christ perfects His love in us and thus we love others... we love others because we love God... we love God because God loves us. Just incredible! Wow! As we get to know God and get a clearer picture of who He is (though we will never fully grasp who He is until glory), we love Him and we start to love the things that He loves because He changes our desires. I agree with you in that I am sick of the focus being only about what's going inside of a church building. What's going on with the church members... As CHRISTIANS, our focus should be Christ and Christ's focus is on souls and winning the lost... On the other hand, Christ also took care of the brethren... He taught them and rebuked them. He helped to direct them to the Father. Our church families and what goes on inside the church needs to be strong, and it's a huge blessing to be able to look to other believers for love and guidance and encouragement. With that, we should be in unity with a common goal- reaching the lost. They are equally important and we should never separate the two because God places a great emphasis in the Bible as to what goes on in churches. Just look to the epistles!

Same here. There also aren't times that I can't make it. We were actually just talking about that in Sunday school. There ARE acceptable reasons to miss church, like actually being sick, sometimes the weather prevents us, etc. I try to be there as much as I can too, but there are times I couldn't go, like last Sunday because of the ice, and then there have been times that I was (pardon my being crude) puking my guts out, and I couldn't go. Sicknesses also travel to other people. Okay, it was just a curiosity. Thank you.

I'm going to have to say that that's not quite answering my question. yes, Wednesday night, or Thursday night, or Friday night (whenever a church may have it) is a normal church service. There are churches that say they have Bible study on that night, etc. If you ask me, it is a normal church service. Many churches do not have one (I didn't know that). It's not a bad thing that they do not. I've heard that often it's for the believers, in a sense, for that "recooperation" or encouragement during the middle of the week. It isn't necessary, however, it is an awesome blessing and I'd encourage anyone to go if a solid Bible-based church has one. However, for churches that have one, why do many Christian seems to think of it as less important than a Sunday service, as if it is somehow less in value? And to respond to a post, not so much talking about fellowship. I whole-heartedly believe in fellowship, whether that is at someone's house, at a resturant, somewhere else where people gather to fellowship. That is great and I firmly believe an integral part of a healthy church family. I am speaking, however, of a situation that is beyond mere fellowship. I am speaking of a church service. Now, that can be in a church building, at a home, or wherever it is decided to meet, but I'm not talking about simply fellowship. The Bible is clear that church is more than that. Why is one church service less than another just becuase is it not on Sunday? Heb 10:25 says not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together. Any other thoughts?