MAYBEBREE

Christians really need to be praying for justice re: this issue. It seems that the leader of the missionaries may have problems following rules and doing things the right way. These missionaries slipped a note to NBC stating that they were just volunteering, that they've been lied to and that they feared for their lives. Their own lawyer was fired for extortion against them!!!! This smacks of corruption at many levels. I believe that Mrs. Silsby the mission leader might have deceived the other missionaries in her zeal to accomplish her own goals.

edited due to suggestion

Now I'm wondering if I'm being spied on... Thank you for the words of encouragement.

I read Holy Blood Holy Grail when I was 15 and it really caused me some issues and put me so much further behind in my walk than I needed to be. I bought into it and entertained the idea because it was juicy.

It says it's not loading, that the server failed.

oh...no, they're not new age. The lights flashing was a light switch flickered, everyone had glow sticks and glow bands and it was Christian music, in english and spanish. I won't speak against anything they did because nothing contradicted scripture at all. I also think that encounters with God don't always leave you feeling *GOOD*. Sometimes an encounter with God can make you realize how filled with sin your life really is.

Update: It didn't kill me. I was blessed in many ways but was utterly terrified when everyone was partying. (lights out flashing lights dancing...I'm hopelessly uncool even as a Christian) I also wasn't fond of the welcoming reception at the church where it was packed with people and we were all up front dancing..or rather, I was swaying like a 12 year old at a sock hop. I don't like loud music and I can't dance to save my life. I had a rather enlightening but disturbing dream while there about my hubby. (I don't mean "evil" when I say disturbing) I didn't feel good at all while I was there or when I got back I was depressed. I did feel spiritually open. I think this can be an awesome experience for those who are ready but I can see those wo are not could have difficulties. It would be a great tool for new converts who've had issues with drugs.

Well, I thought about that, since I'm the Women's Supervisor at a local Rescue Mission I thought about sending a lady from there....but I cannot do that if I won't even go. No matter what I choose no one is going to "fool me" and make me go into histrionics and if it is okay I'll eat crow and come back here and say I'm a nut and if I'm right I'll say... SEE! I told you so!!! They're all nuts! I'll document everything anyway, we can all see if it's iffy. They may not let me go if I bring my laptop and if that's the case I'll say, oh well and not go.

Ughhh, I may be going anyway. I will keep you guys posted. We're not supposed to take technology with us but I have verizon wireless and my laptop will travel...and a phone. I absolutely will not go without that. (If I need a ride out I want a phone handy.) I spoke with a lady today she said she'd go too and that she's been there before and that there are some foo foo elements to it and some good ones too. She said I might as well since the money was non refundable. Maybe I'll blog it or something. If they try to re edumacate me I can always come here in between worship services. I' bringing my paints! I AM NOT WEARING A STUPID WEDDING VEIL UNLESS I GET PHOTO PROOF THAT THEY MAKE THE MEN DO THIS ON THEIRS! & I don't have to like it either! And seriously on the liking it thing...she did like it, she'd say it if she didn't...it wasn't like THAT at all.

In all fairness I will have to say his wife was glad she went. Now, if my hubby put me out of the car and I didn't want to be somewhere, I would call the police for a ride back if I didn't have cab fare...but that's me, I don't like to be pushed. I think the main thing is that everyone is doing it and sometimes when EVERYONE is doing something I don't and maybe that is a flaw in me. I also found out that they have some kind of mock wedding ceremony for the women in this thing and I am not into things like that.

here is the link to what the retreat is about: www.myencountermyfreedom.com

I did say no, I told my pastor that I only signed up because it was expected of me and that I was sorry for doing that, because I thought I shuld be doing something like this to get closer to the Lord not because other people want me to. His reply was that it was okay that others encouraged me to go and that that was a good thing. He said it was important for me to go and that I can just go in October when the next encounter is. He said his wife didn't want to go but he put her out of the car and dropped her off. I am aware that part of this is because I am sometimes not in the mood to do what EVERYONE else is doing and will sometimes just refuse because I feel like I'm being pushed.

I think that is the main problem, I would not be going to a retreat to get away and seek after God, I would be going to because it's expected of me...and it's not that I'll be outed if I don't go, I'm just worried that I'm being stubborn and rebellious because either way, it wouldn't kill me. However I feel really stressed out about the entire thing and I'm starting to resent the whole idea. Also, I am not the type that gets alot out events like this. I don't know why but I feel like I want to just take my grandma and my family and run and when I get back just say I'm NEVER going to everyone who asks me. I do know if I went it'd all be fine... maybe I'm just being ridiculous.

I'm a mom to 4 kids, I have a husband who has mental illness and I'm not really into "retreats" but our church is involved in these new convert retreats that everyone is expected to go to. I signed up to go because it's expected of me. Everyone else is doing it, it won't hurt me...and so forth. Now to complicate things my grandma is in town from across the country and she'll be passing back through on Friday, the day I'm supposed to go. My husband also doesn't want me to go but won't refuse to let me...he just prefers me to stay with him. I would be gone 3 days...and also, everyone keeps telling me it's so important to go to THIS event and the goings on are secret, no one is supposed to talk about it with no one who hasn't gone and it's just so important that I go they say. It will change my life. This is making me mad I don't know why. I am utterly depressed because I don't want to go, never really wanted to even if I can't be in a "leadership" position if I did and it feels like I'm being a bad Christian for not going. Am I just being silly about this whole thing? I feel like if I say, No thank you that everyone will just be muttering, oh she's let Satan rob her of this blessing.

I will continue praying, I am not anxious but I do feel as if these circumstances are really strong and want to kill all miracles that happened after salvation.