stilllearnin'

Hi destiny_child, I would agree with Enchiridion. My husband has a mental illness, so I spend a lot of time on a forum for friends and family of people who suffer from mental illness. It sounds as if your mother, (bless her heart) may be suffering from one of these illnesses. Can you try to gently persuade her to go see a medical doctor at least? A good checkup may reveal something to him and he could maybe suggest a therapist or psychiatrist, or someone. Colleen

Wow!! What wonderful replies you received alisha (my daughter is an artist as well, so I noticed your name right away) I do have to tell you that as Christians we should not EVEN be dating non-Christians, God tells us not to. I am so glad you have kept your virginity; in your culture (or so I have heard) it is even more difficult to do that then in the US. God is very pleased with you because of that!! And so will your future husband, whoever he turns out to be.

Hi, sounds like putting those little blanket thingies over your boots is a great solution! The floor stays dry and you don't have to go through the hassle of taking your boots on and off every few minutes, I know what a pain that can be! Colleen

Super Jew and Tess, I have heard advice from never married people before that left me thinking 'yeah, well wait til you are married', but you two have such biblical insights into this topic that I am truly amazed!!! Carlos, sounds like you are growing by leaps and bounds and are so willing to take advice, Colleen

Hello Locke, I always thought that suicide was an unforgivable sin, I'd been taught that in the church I was raised in. Then 30+ years later I had a pastor say that if we think for one minute that we will have no unconfessed sin in our hearts the moment we die, we are just fooling ourselves. Sin is sin in God's eyes. Not only that but we all have a God-given instinct to survive. A person who commits suicide is not in their right mind, and I am sure God does not hold them accountable, Colleen

Sorry dinner didn't work out, but what a blessing that you were able to hold your tongue!

Thank you for your kind words, Carlos, I am no where close to be that godly of a person; my flesh gets in the way. It is easier to say I will do the right thing for the right reason, then to actually do it. I wondered about something; you mentione pornagraphy in one of your posts, did you look at this while you were married? My first husband had a heavy addiction, we didn't have the Internet, but he had lots of magazines and paraphenalia (sp?) around the house, when he died, I had to take it all and put in the trash before people starting coming to the house. I didn't want anyone else to have to see it. Anyway it is quite devasting to a wife to think that because she isn't 'enough' her husband has to turn to an airbrushed picture. Looking at pornography is like having an affair of the mind, a woman would naturally feel betrayed knowing her husband was doing such things. I also wanted to tell you that I suffer from depression, in my case it began when I slept with a man I wasn't married to; I continued this for about three weeks, even though I knew it was wrong, I kept saying to myself; well we will be married in a few months and it will be okay, but I knew it wasn't okay and never would be. I finally broke off the relationship because I knew I couldn't continue on like I was, the guilt was overwhelming. I also knew I had no business marrying him because I was a Christian, he was not, he claimed to be and I wanted him to be, but he simply wasn't. I thought the guilt and awful feelings I had would cease when I broke up with him, but they got worse and worse. I felt like God couldn't forgive me because I had sinned too willingly for too long a time. I resisted going on medication because my mom had been for 30 years and I didn't want to be, well I finally did and it helped a lot. My husband happens to be bi-polar so he understands depression, he has been to depths in his that I nor many others have ever gone; so he is very understanding about mine. I hope this helps you understand your wife's depression a little more, I think some of us our genetically predisposed to it. It may come on by a particular incident, or it may just happen, I don't really know about that, but I know it is an awful feeling and you cannot just shake yourself out of it. Carlos I appreciate your heart for God and wanting to do what is right in HIs eyes; that is why Satan tells you that you cannot change how you feel about her. From reading your last posts it sounds like you are on the right track. How did the dinner go? As part of a bridal shower gift a friend slipped a note in with her card, it talked about womens needs vs men's needs, of course I cannot find it now that I want it, but I remember that women need to feel cherished, and men need to feel desired, there is a lot more to it, but hopefully that little bit will help you, Colleen

Hi Carlos. Your post sure came at a timely time for me, let's see, where to start... I was married for nearly 21 years, my husband was killed in an accident and I was left with 2 children, I was single for nearly 6 years, then was married last January 31st. It was not at all what I expected and I fought every step of the way, my husband and I had so many arguments! He was so adamant that he was right, that I argued with him even if I knew he was right!! I had known for a long time that the wife was to submit to her husband, but I never really thought about it, I just didn't want to do things his way so I fought until I realized I'd have no peace until I gave in. This was definitely not submission!! I complained to everyone who would listen about how mean he was and how tough I had it, and they listened sympathetically, and even a Christian told me I should divorce him!! I heard about this book called, "LIES WOMEN BELIEVE" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, two people who don't know each other at all mentioned it to me on the same day. Just before I read all of the posts in this thread I finished a chapter on Lies women believe about marriage. One was that our husband was there to serve us and we deserved to be served. Another was that submitting to our husbands would remove our freedom or some such thing, anyway we are called to submit and to reverence our husband, and husbands are called to love their wives and live with them in an understanding way, but neither of us can make the other do what God wants them to do, that decision comes from each individual as God reveals His will to them. How I wish I could reccommend that book to your wife!! I am sure you reccommending a book to improve her would not sit to well with her. All that to say this, I believe God showed me this today to make me realize that I was being very disobedient to Him by not submitting to my husband with the right attitude; that by submitting just to keep him from getting angry with me, was not true submission, that telling everyone how awful he is is not reverencing him as I am told in Scripture to do. I know this won't be easy, I go from 'okay LORD, I won't react negatively no matter what he says or does' to 'how dare he talk down to me like that' in less than half a second. I know Satan loves this; he enjoys seeing me riled up and talking bad about my husband, it makes the instute of marriage look bad, the very thing that is an earthly example of Christ and the church. I don't really know if this pertains to you, or why I keep going on, but I hope it does encourage you in some way, Colleen

Jacqueline, I don't believe dreaming things that come true is a spiritual gift. It is not listed in the New Testament as a Spiritual gift. God did give , Joseph, Peter and Paul dreams with specific instructions in them, but never are dreams mentioned as a Spiritual gift. stilllearnin'

Greetings love and welcome here. You really do have a lot of blessings listed there. Wow! Another thing you have going for you is that you express yourself beautifully through the written word! God gifted you with many talents. I pray that you will see your need for a Savior and accept Jesus as yours. He very much wants a personal relationship with you. He is our purpose for living. :hug: stilllearnin'

May God bless you for your honesty. It's a hard call to make...are you not trusting God if you go back to work? I would say not, it is possible that God's timing is why you can go back to work. Remember the story about the guy who was in a flood and he prayed and ask God to send him help. A rowboat came, a rubber raft and a helicopter also and he told them all three that they didn't need to help him because God was going to. When he drowned and went to heaven, he asked God why He didn't rescue him. God's reply was, 'I sent you a rowboat, a raft and a helicopter, what more do you want?' This could very well be your helicopter. stilllearnin'

Tell me a little more about yourself, what are your interests? favorite color, etc. stilllearnin'

I love Cymba, just didnt' think I had enough smarts to reply. How do you feel about a Lego picture? Let me see if I can figure out how to show you one. stilllearnin' :hug: :hug: :hug:

Great testimony, Wayne. God is so faithful; His word dividing soul and spirit, it does not return to Him void. Thank you for that great example of what His word can do. stilllearnin' oops I just realized the testimony I referred to was written 9 months ago, still it is pretty awesome.

shorti, :hug: I am so sorry that you are going through this; it is difficult, but there is hope. Know that God loves you and the plans He has for you are plans for your good. (Jer 29:11) My husband has severe bipolar disorder, it is because of his medication that he is able to be very functional and live a normal life, please take the medication, it will make such a difference in your life. You will feel normal again, life has so much to offer you, and you have so much to offer to God and others. Just some thoughts because I care about you, stilllearnin' :hug: