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seraph

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Everything posted by seraph

  1. A spouse that will love her like Christ loves the church... to lead, protect, and serve her... a husband doing that and a woman being the Proverbs 31 wife would inspire each other, with God's help and guidance, to be more and more those ideal spouses.
  2. I think the difference is whether an abused woman sees herself as a victim or a survivor.
  3. Yes it is... and worse... they put orphans and drug addicts in the lepers' village as well.
  4. What is really sad is that people suffer with it when the cure is so simple... I have seen an un-named government hide the fact they have people with leprosy and refuse to treat it.
  5. Sometimes when we feel God is being silent, it can cause us to make an effort to draw closer to Him. But if you are afraid to approach Him, you could still feel separated from Him. We can approach His throne of grace with confidence as His beloved child, knowing that nothing separates us from His love. Hebrews 4:16 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Romans 8:38-39 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
  6. YOU are never too far gone. YOU are never too damaged. YOU are never too broken. YOU are never too anything for God. YOU ARE LOVED! Romans 8 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
  7. I agree with what a few have already said: a man should stand up and put a stop to it himself. I would express (to both) how it made me feel... for a woman to flirt with her sister's husband, she has some serious issues. Unfortunately, you can not expect a non-believer to be as God says a husband should be - loving his wife as Christ loves the church, since he does not have the love of Christ in him. It is not "courteous" to you, his wife, to respond to her flirtations and give her attention... sounds like they are both feeding their egos off of each other.
  8. Pray for God's will to be done in this and seek His kingdom first. Five years is not typically a big age difference, but these days 18 is pretty young to be committed to true love. It strikes me as odd to have to hide true love... if it is true, then it is honest and if it is love, it is expressed. Pray for God's guidance and discernment and put God first above yourself or her.
  9. My response would depend on why they are saying that. Regardless of the reason, I try to speak the truth in love, but my specific response would very likely be different to someone who lost a loved one than one who cannot afford their dream car. I would try to show them that God is love and for them to not to mistake a consequence of human actions/nature as something God did or did not do.
  10. I would say pray and focus on God, of course, but also have someone to be accountable to. If you are or plan to be married, work at being who God calls husbands to be. You can put internet accountability and filters on your computer as well. “Love is the great conqueror of lust.” ― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
  11. Hi Spark, As I have said, I am so sorry for all you have been through. You have been through tragedy and you have been hurt by others who proclaim to be Christian. Christians, like anyone, are not perfect, so they will, at times, make mistakes and unfortunately hurt others. However, that should not be their character or consistent behaviour. Just like a good fruit tree will produce good fruit, occasionally there is that one bad piece of fruit. Conversely, don't be deceived by a bad tree occasionally producing a good piece of good fruit... even those not following God can choose to do a good thing. You need to look for consistency... if someone claims to be a Christian, are they showing love to others? Does their behaviour match what they proclaim to believe? Christians still sin, but it should not be a lifestyle... when there is a sin, it should be followed with repentance. For example, a priest/pastor molesting children who proclaims to be a Christian yet lives a lifestyle of essentially murdering the spirit of a child would really cause me to seriously doubt their salvation. You Will Know Them by Their Fruits - Matthew 7:15-20 15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them. John 13:35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” I know you have an idea of what Christians are like based on your past experience... stereotypes do not appear out of thin air, they are based on something observable. So do not blindly trust, but also do not assume all fit your stereotype. Look objectively at their words and behaviour. There are Christians on this board that suffer from nightmares from the things they have been through. I suffered for many years... waking myself up screaming and in a panic. These were caused by someone who called himself a Christian... when I got saved, God did not stop him from hurting me. I would be reasonably sure that God did intervene so that it wasn't worse than it was. The problem with people is that they do not always use their free will to choose to do good. I prayed a lot for this person yet he didn't change; I did not blame God or get angry with God over the choices someone made. I had tried to forgive and let go for awhile... when I truly did (it was an out-of-the-blue moment and I wasn't even thinking about it at the moment), the burden lifted and the frequent nightmares stopped. Occasionally I will have a nightmare or a trigger response to something, but I am not tormented by it any more. Conversely, holding onto things from the past that you need to move on from can be just as damaging... you can feel blessed for the time you had, but staying stuck in the past just leaves you stuck in the past which can be tormenting as well. Forgiving the bad doesn't make the bad ok and moving on from the good doesn't devalue the good. Now, that real peace you saw in your friend... God's peace is a real peace... despite circumstances, and I believe you have experienced some of that peace and joy. I'm not sure why you would not want that, unless you are feeling you do not deserve it or expected problems to disappear when becoming a Christian or are not feeling that initial 'rush' and think something has changed. I do not know if you past is making you feel like you are too broken to fix or do not deserve it; do not let others define you... see how God sees you: immeasurably loved regardless of anything you have done or has been done to you. The fact is, we are all broken and in need of a Saviour. Romans 8 1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. 37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. The fact is, we are all broken and in need of a Saviour. Jesus came to heal the sick (imperfect sinners) and not the healthy (none of us are 'good enough') and not the dead (none of us are too far gone). Luke 5:30-32 30 And their scribes and the Pharisees complained against His disciples, saying, “Why do You eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” 31 Jesus answered and said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.” As Christians, we can expect struggles. Some are a result of living in a fallen, sinful world. Even Jesus suffered, so we cannot expect to be without some pain. But even if God does not deliver us out of a particular situation, He is there with us to help us get through it. Some of the worst things I have had to endure in my life have been as a Christian... I have been through some torturous things that have felt unbearable. The difference between going through those things as a Christian is I know God is with me to get me through it and He will not give me something that I cannot handle... it may feel unbearable but that is when I rely on His promises that do not ever fail. Joshua 21:45 Not a word failed of any good thing which the Lord had spoken to the house of Israel. All came to pass. 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. He doesn't just observe our struggles or merely reaches out a hand, but gets down into the pit with us and lifts help us out... of course it takes effort on our part. Psalm 40:2 He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. And He will not waste that struggle... He will bring good out of it... our faith can be strengthened because of it and we can help others who experience the same struggles. Romans 5:3-5 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Comfort in Suffering - 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. It seems to me, that if God - who is all-knowing and wants what is good for you - won't let you go (as you have said), it is because He knows what is best for you can be obtained by clinging to Him... He knows you would not be better off without Him. Don't give up, Spark. I will continue to pray for you.
  12. True, some things will only be understood through the Spirit. I remember before I was saved seeing those bumper stickers, "Let Go and Let God." I thought they were the stupidest bumper stickers ever because I didn't "get it." I didn't understand what to let go of nor what to let God do. Then I got saved and was like, "OOHHH!!! NOW I get it!" In the Bible, there will be things that just don't make complete sense until you do have that spiritual connection. (Kind of like in the body, messages from one neuron to the other neuron won't get across without a neurotransmitter carrying the message across the gap/synapse... going from sinner to forgiven, the cross bridges that gap and the Holy Spirit brings understanding.) However, you don't have to have everything figured out before you get saved... Jesus died on the cross to make salvation free and simple for us; it's "us" who complicate it. Of first importance is understanding that each of us is a sinner in need of a Saviour. Then, what we couldn't understand apart from God, we begin to grow and understand (a lifelong process), and as we learn, we also begin to trust Him on the things we do not understand because we start to experience His unfailing love and trustworthiness. You said you understand how to be saved, so what is holding you back from believing with your heart instead of just your head? Are there specific questions you want answers to first?
  13. No, you are not wrong. And you are certainly not dumb. Fellowship with Christians is more than just a social thing. We need to encourage and build each other up, hold each other accountable, and correct in love when needed. Maybe you could try starting a conversation about deeper things or asking questions. As far as taking things for granted or growing complacent, make the commitment not to do so. Never grow tired of thanking and praising God or growing in your faith. Stay committed to prayer, reading the Word, and fellowship.
  14. Welcome We also have a chat room where you can get some real-time Q&A. Like Robert said, there is a Q&A section where you can ask a question and get multiple answers.
  15. I don't think it's such an odd situation and I totally understand. Online Christian dating sites aren't something I would personally do - nothing wrong with them, I just wasn't going to go that route as it wasn't for me. I also wasn't going to 'start dating.' I just trusted God to bring the right person at the right time. If I wasn't going to do the online dating thing, then God would bring me someone another way... couples meet countless ways.
  16. Exactly. That worship was 'contemporary music' at one time as were the hymns. People complained about that modern music then as people complain now.
  17. Pray to let go of the hate. Pray for that person. Try to see that person as God sees them. If God can forgive us for all the things we do, who are we to not forgive???
  18. You said "a box for a cross." Jesus died on the cross, but didn't stay dead in a "box" (i.e. a tomb/grave); He rose again to life so that we may truly have life now and forever.
  19. Personally, I'm not a fan of boxes; Jesus lived outside of them. “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” -2 Corinthians 3:17 Welcome to Worthy, fantasymay
  20. That would be an amazing trip!!! You could do a small portion of it. I always wanted to do one of those trips where you horseback ride up the river and whitewater raft down it.
  21. At the elementary school I worked at, I often heard the teachers tell the kids, "Sorry means you don't do it again." Yes, we all slip up and can make a repeated mistake, but from a Christian it should not be a predictable cycle. There is a difference between what is a sinful mistake and what is a sinful character. If, as you say, he is a Christian, then he should love you as Christ loves the church... that means humbling himself beyond the shame in order to seek help to treat you as you should be treated. Matthew 12:33 says we will know their character by their actions: "Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad; for a tree is known by its fruit." A good tree will occasionally produce a piece of bad fruit as a bad tree can occasionally produce a piece of good fruit... that atypical fruit can cause us confusion, stealing our peace... look at the overall fruit and that will reveal his heart/spirit. I do believe anyone can change; however, not all choose to change. I will be praying for you both.
  22. They may say the words they are "sorry," but if they are truly sorry, shouldn't their actions reflect that? Repentance doesn't mean to just apologize every time you repeatedly do something, it means quite literally 'to turn' from what you were doing and actively work to not continue with the wrong. God tells us in Matthew 10:16 to be "as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." (Although the verse was specifically addressing persecution, it explains how our reaction should be when people come against us.) So, yes, we should be forgiving and kind. However, we need to also be shrewd - wise in our judgements/decisions to know when we forgive and can reconcile the relationship and when we forgive and sever the relationship. You said you are praying for the person... that is wonderful. Are you just praying that the person doesn't do 'that' again or to see how much it hurts you? Is this person a Christian? Pray for their salvation if they are not, pray for them to work out their salvation if they are. Pray for healing - for yourself, for the person, for the relationship (whether that means it's restored or severed). I have been hurt very deeply by others - abused and traumatized. I have experienced forgiving someone and nothing changed so the relationship had to be severed. It had been in my heart to forgive, but to completely forgive took a little bit of time.. so I prayed for God to help me forgive. Then one day, out of the blue while singing worship music, the burden was lifted... I truly and completely forgave. I have also experienced forgiving someone who then did change as evidenced by the change in their actions, and the relationship was restored. Pray for wisdom, discernment, and guidance. Pray for God to help you truly and completely forgive and let go of the bitterness. You have already expressed how much it hurts you and that did not move the person to change. Do you know about the "Cycle of Abuse" (it's usually referenced to domestic violence situations, but also holds true for different forms of abuse in various relationships. You have the "explosion" where one person hurts the other in some way. Then there is the "honeymoon" phase with apologies, promises, and forgiveness and/or denial. Then, it starts all over again with the "tension building" phase when you sense things are leading up to another explosion so you try to diffuse it. Then you're back to the explosion.
  23. Me too! It's a husband and wife duo that sings it... I love the sound of it and the message. It really struck me because I've been discussing the topic of Christian liberty while reading "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis (again).
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