Schwol

Hey guys. Looks like she's not pregnant. She took 2 ept tests, both negative. Lesson learned.

This is reason to celebrate but you don't seem to be very thankful for this. Well she had it for a short time yesterday, she told me now that it's not there. So don't really know what to expect. Are you saying that she's not actually menstrating? I don't know the official word yet. She's at work, can't really talk. She did last month. It started yesterday, bought her tampons, today its gone i think. Buying a test tonight.

I just saw the stoning video. I feel sick. Seriously. edit: no way I can bring myself to watch the hands/feet video.

This is reason to celebrate but you don't seem to be very thankful for this. Well she had it for a short time yesterday, she told me now that it's not there. So don't really know what to expect.

She has her period now. I'll still buy a test within the next week. I was in the most difficult spiritual drought the last few weeks. I had people praying intensely over me, feeling nothing, hardly believing, not caring about God or the Word. I'm a skeptic by birth and sometimes have a hard time believing he's really there. Sometimes I think we're all just crazy (me and my close family in Christ). Once I get thinking like that, it's almost impossible to have any heart felt worship. I'm feeling better now and am actually bummed out that I didn't read my bible today.. My fault though. On a side note, I'm starving. Have a great day everyone!

True, but all the while I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I willingly give in to my flesh. I just want to give Athena and my baby the best. I may have screwed up big time, but I pray God will care for us.

True someone needs to be the bad guy. Thanks for being honest. The temptation stuff you talk about is true. That's definitely my fault. I accept full responsibility for whatever happens now and in the future. I don't think any of this will be anywhere near easy, but it will be worth it. I'm ready to sacrifice everything I have for my fiancee and possible child. I don't really know what to expect, which is why I'm freaking out. In retrospect, I see exactly how you see me as immature in this situation. My stupid sins brought this on me and us. I just wish somehow Athena didn't have to be involved. I don't want her to fear her family's reaction like she does. I'm going to get a test today. Thanks and bye

If my fiancee is pregnant, then I believe He allowed us to sin to raise a beautiful, God-loving child.

Thank you everyone for the support. I just got to work and I had to step into the bathroom right before I could start reading damo1's post because my eyes were swelling with tears. I'm not very close with my mother or father, both divorced, remarried with kids, both unbelievers. I know they don't see me being able to be a father (here I am about to cry again), and that hurts me. I've made poor decisions in my life and I occasionally tell my fiancee that I think they think I'm a failure. I see this as another reason for them to think that. I try to do the right things but one problem is that I never seem to be able to stand up for myself. But this time it's not about standing up for me, but my child. I am not exactly qualified to give advice or anything here (I'm only 16) but I think that you have the perfect attitude to deal with your situation. You are willing to make sacrifices for your unborn child (and praise the Lord that you do not want to abort him/her!!!) and I know that you can get through this. I would try not to drop out of college if you can avoid it, but of course, your child has to take precedence over college. You said you were working 30-35 hours a week, so there is only so much more you can do there. Make sure you are willing to accept help, you said your fiancee does not like the idea but you sound like you are going to need all the help you can get. Make sure you tell your parents, I understand how hard that will be, but I am certain the results will beat trying to keep it a secret from them and despite them being angry and disappointed, I am sure you will be grateful for their help when you desperately need it. Your situation won't go away without some hard work, but I believe you can do it. Remember to pray about it often, and I will pray for you as well. God Bless, Keilan I really don't want to drop out of school. I'm about to get my associates in pre-physical therapy and will move on to a local university for the final 4 years of my Master's. We have so many people who would be absolutely overjoyed to help us in any way, I feel so blessed. We will tell my parents, once we find out for sure. I'm done with secrets. I've had so many problems stemming from them. Thank you for the prayers. Yeah I was just going to say the same thing. Before you start worrying and turning your whole life upside down- find out if she's really pregnant. This whole thing could be God's way of straightening the two of you out! If she turns out to not be pregnant I suggest you either change your living situation or get married. And for goodness sakes STOP having sex until you're married! If she is pregnant- you need to get married. And then you need to start working your little butt off to make some money. If you are in a low income wage bracket you could be entitled to medical assistance. And if not keep in mind there are cheaper alternatives when it comes to birth. If your fiancee is comfortable with it you could have a home birth with a midwife which is a very safe option if the pregnancy is low risk. No matter what you decide to do you need to stop making mindless mistakes. You're both christians, you're both adults- start acting like it! She had periods for the first few months of her last pregnancy as well. This is why we're worried. We are looking, well I am looking, into ALL available assistance options we have. She's not doing it because she doesn't need the stress right now. I'm calling and emailing everyone I can. Don't know much about home birth's though. I'm just a good writer. I've always been. I was always a little ahead of my class until college, where I thought I could get by doing the same things I did in high school. One ironic, if I can use the word, thing is that we just started being leaders in a youth bible study, regarding troubling issues teens go through, divorce, drugs, all that. We watch a video and then break up into small groups by age and sex and just talk with them and try to get them to open up. I like it. But I feel like a horrible example for any kid. My problem is that I don't trust God enough. I need to do everything on my own, all the time. I'm trying to fix that, and get closer to God. Man, I could talk forever. I hope all these quotes and whatnot don't bother anyone. I'm doing good. Stuffy right now from crying. He/She IS completely surrounded with love. I think the exact same thing you said. Both of our families don't know each other well. I think this is a chance for me and Athena to get closer to my family. Her family knows more about the present ME than mine does. I wish that the instant shock would last a very short time and we can move on and do what needs to be done. I'm not going to be asking for everything I need from my parents. I'd rather go super small budget but give my child everything he/she needs than burden the rest of my family, who have helped me with so much, with more problems. I know for a fact my dad will be so proud to have a grandchild. I know my child will be beautiful. And damo.. That's one scary story. I pray that you find your kid and he accepts you and loves you back. In a perfect world, parents and children would never be separated. You are definitely in an uphill battle, with the birth certificate nonsense, but you have faith and that will get you what you desire. I'm happy my fiancee had dreams of homeschooling and not working. Not to say women don't belong in the workforce, ladies we're all equals. At least she didn't have her dreams of being an astronaut smashed because of us. I'll end it here. Here is US I wish I could put the pics right here but here are links to them. http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/274/athenamq4.jpg Athena http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/9310/bryan1mt3.jpg Athena and her cousin's baby, Bryan, who I love like a son. http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/1573/bryan2cn0.jpg He's so silly http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/1403/bryan3lt6.jpg These are all old. Give you some new ones later http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/6948/usqq4.jpg And... us

I want to continue this but I have to leave work and get to church. Much love to everyone. Pray for me. Thanks

Ah, gotcha. I read to fast, sorry. Don't forget, you'll have your whole life to spend with your wife. Financially, the first few years will be the hardest. A little understanding on both your parts will help with the lack of time spent together. Something else that I thought of. If you are still living with the inlaws, I'd look at getting outta there and getting on my own. Perhaps they would be willing to subsidize you guys for a while. As long as you two are under someone else's roof, they can call some of the shots. Now, with my temperament, I'd go nuts. Maybe you can take it. I really just want my baby to have clean clothes and never have to go hungry. I'll go with the bare minimum to give him or her the maximum. Her mom is very helpful with the kids my fiancee's cousin has, and loves them dearly. Athena doesn't want to accept help from anyone, she's very against asking for help, even when it's offered. I, on the other hand, never ask for help, but will accept it when needed, and when I know I would dearly want the other party to accept it from me. I do attend church at least twice a week most weeks, and have a family bible study with the married couples mentioned in the first post, usually between 12-18 people, more some times. I have really been trying not to sleep with her (actual sleep), but she's so emotional I can't bare to leave her. I'll usually tell her I'll leave after I put her to sleep, probably between 10 and 12 at night, but sometimes I just want to hold her all night and give her that comfort, so I won't leave. The temptation is so strong when I sleep there. Sometimes at night, but usually in the morning, when she goes to shower. Sometimes its nothing but sometimes it seems unbearable and we give in to temptation. I'm so overwhelmed and she's not even late yet. She'll be late in 2-3 days. But it seems to obvious. About school.. I'd do it if I have to, but without school, I'm in no position to be a real long term benefit in any way. I don't even know what my dad would think. Two of the three things he ever told me he doesn't want to happen are very real possibilities right now. Thanks again

Marnie: Her parents know we've been having sex. They don't know exactly how long. They know about the abortion. Her mom knew we were having sex before we came clean about the abortion (we were living in her home, of course she found out). There's not much we haven't disclosed about this ordeal. I fully understand I have to man up and take care of my family. And by "mentoring" the children, I did not by any means mean that I counsel them on how to morally live their lives. Poor word choice on my part. We baby sit from time to time and do some bible studies with them. They look up to us. I'm at a new job making $9/Hour working 30-35 hours a week. I will push the hours to the limit, but I have tried not to stay too long so I can spend time with Athena. We're in premarital classes at our church currently as well. I just don't know how we'll be able to show our faces at church. She told every girl who went to camp with our church this Summer that she had an abortion with me, so everyone there knows. But the church is a breeze compared to our fathers. But even that's a breeze compared to being a father, so that's #1 on my list. Thanks to everyone

Thanks for the info and prayer. If she IS pregnant, we'll keep the baby. I don't want to give or throw him/her away. I can never imagine looking at ultrasounds and listening to her belly and just saying goodbye like that. Anyone have any more info on financial aid? I'm looking into Medicaid for us. Her cousin had Medicaid for her baby, but I can't ask her yet. We're not even sure if she's pregnant, but she has been before, and she says she feels the same way. We're both terrified. I'm worried about cost of birth. Thank you everyone!

Hi everyone. Just looking for some advice, encouragement, and prayer. My name's Mike. I'm 21 and I've been with my finacee, Athena, 18, for almost 3 years, engaged for 3 months. We've been saved since this past Easter. Her mother and father are divorced and her father is remarried with an 8 yr old and 2 yr old from the new wife. Both him and his new wife are Christian, and have been for a few years. I started living with Athena and her mother, her cousin and cousin's baby a few weeks into the relationship. Her father and stepmother did not know this was going on. They also did not know that we've been having sex since the beginning of our relationship, and she got pregnant last July or August, and she had an abortion in September of 06. The Lord put it in her heart to come clean and tell her parents of our abortion about 2 months ago. We're not %100 positive but we think she's pregnant again. She has tender and swollen breasts, firm stomach, it feels like its stretching to her. We have definitely not learned from our sin and may be in the same predicament again. We're without a doubt going to need assistance, probably through Medicaid, because even though I would give everything I have for my kid, everything I have can't even cover the cost of birthing him or her. Both of our families are going to flip, especially both of our fathers. This is enough to make me implode, but I need to stay strong for her, because she's incredibly overwhelmed. A big dilemma for her is that.. most of our closest friends are Christian couples with kids ages 4-8, whom we take care of and mentor from time to time. "What kind of example are we setting?" is what she's thinking. Which I completely understand.. Her brother is 8, what's he gonna think? I think all we can do is be adults and in the future we can be an example to them and hope they don't make the same mistakes, not to say I'll EVER call my kid a mistake. God makes no mistakes. Aside from her father and stepmother, no other parent on either side is a believer. "God has all things in his hands" will make not the slightest dent in their immediate feelings, but after the initial shock, I hope everyone can get past that for our and our child's sake. I don't want to kill another baby and, furthermore, run the risk of never being able to have a child with the girl I love . We're both community college students also working, 2 days a week for her, 3 for me, both of us going to school tues/thurs. I don't think I'm ready for this, mostly the reaction from our families is what worries me, but I'm just in shock right now. I'm not really looking for much from this post. Just what I said earlier, advice, encouragement, and prayer. Thanks everybody!! Mike

Same for me. This is just what I need.. of course, after personal time with God.