aburgess

A few years ago my mother and I got into a heated argument over things that I was holding against her from my childhood (no details necessary)...she was very hurt by the fact that I was not able to let go of some things that had been really painful and I held it against her. Well, I finally got tired of the issue and told her that she always said she was sorry but always managed to qualify what happened by "you have to understand what I was going through". This was pretty early in my walk with the Lord and it took this very painful conversation for me to realize that it isn't necessary for the party who hurt me to actually be sorry or even to apologize but that forgiveness was an action that came from me and is a desire not to carry the burden of it anymore. After I had gone home that evening and was reading in my bible it came to me that it was I who was in the wrong now for holding it against her. I picked up the phone and called her. I told her how sorry I was for what I had been doing to her, that I forgive her and that I would not bring it up or use it against her ever again. It has been nearly 10 yrs since this happened. And I have not one time since then, even in disputes, brought these things up. But I cannot say that it has been that easy to do for others, as the hurts that some people have caused me they continue to do so. I have had to ask the Lord to help me with it and I have worked very hard at not engaging in the abusive behaviors of certain people in order to keep from trying to battle my way to safety from the pain they cause. This has helped me to and I have found that the more I put this to work the easier it is to find forgiveness for the things done now and to continue in forgiveness for the things past. I believe that we have to be very active in forgiveness. We have to discipline ourselves not to engage and that with time this becomes easier and easier to accomplish. It is impossible to forget, but with practice the crushing pains that remain when we are unforgiving lessens and like birth pains after time the actual pain is forgotten. I agree

thank you for all your posts

i havent been to church in some time and i feel its time to go back but im afraid of what others will say to me when i go about why i havent been any suggestions

I totally agree with you and BELIEVE GOD HEALS IN MANY WAYS just because some need medication doesnt mean they have less faith only that God is using medication to help them . We wouldnt tell people with heart disease or diabetes not to take medicine and to me its the same thing. I also take medication and I thank God everyday for it!

kitty, I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO YOUR SITUATION ALTHOUGH IVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 14 YEARS (IM ONLY 33) I WAS NOT SAVED UNTIL A LITTLE OVER A YEAR AGO. JESUS HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED WHO I AM AND MY HUSBAND DOES NOT UNDERSTAND HOW I CHANGED SO MUCH AND IVE TOLD HIM ITS NOT ME ITS GOD. MY BOYS (I HAVE 2 AGES 15 AND 12) DIDNT LIKE IT AT FIRST EITHER BECAUSE ALL MY MORALS CHANGED AND I STARTED LIVING FOR CHRIST . NOW I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP SOMETIMES ALTHOUGH I KNOW GOD WILL NEVER LET ME GO AND I AM CHANGED FOREVER IT JUST SEEMS SO HARD SOMETIMES WITH THE WORLD AROUND ME I PRAY AND ASK GOD FOR STRENGTH AND I HAVE GOOD AND BAD DAYS WITH THIS WALK ALL I KNOW IS I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME SINCE JESUS CAME INTO MY LIFE AND I WOULD NEVER WANT TO GO BACK TO THE OLD PERSON BECAUSE I HAD NO PEACE BEFORE I JUST WANT MY FAMILY TO SEE HOW MUCH THEY (WE) NEED CHRIST IN OUR LIVES WITHOUT HIM LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING

THANK YOU FOR SHARING! I BELIEVE THAT GOD WILL BE FAITHFUL TO ME AND MY HUSBAND I JUST HAVE TO BE PATIENT AND WAIT ON GOD ITS IN HIS TIMING

I WAS JUST WONDERING IF ANYONE HERE HAS A SPOUSE THAT IS UNSAVED? HOW DO YOU HANDLE BEING A CHRISTIAN WHILE LIVING WITH SOMEONE WHOS NOT?