Maybe I'm oversimplifying things, but God knows the heart of people. It might now make something "right" or "ideal", but I just don't diminish the blood by saying that people can get themselves into situation that God will not be always working on/working with.
I guess I consider that He always seeks to bless us - but that the Word is full of instructions about how to obtain "the peaceful fruit of righteousness." I think that people really can be happier and even BETTER people with someone other than their spouse...for a million reasons, legitimate or illegitimate.
But, it would seem to me that there would always be just a piece of self-condemnation lurking about to show it's head from time to time. God doesn't want that for us and He's not implementing it. But - you know, that's just how it works down here.
But not blessing people? I mean, God IS LOVE IS GOD IS LOVE IS GOD, etc.
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Scenario #2 is a slam dunk easy one - that marriage, if entered into in love and good counseling about the potential snags in the path...Gosh, I know a couple of marriages that I would be LUCKY to have their relationship and they started that way.
Typically, and this is fine, men feel trapped and sometimes the woman can, too. It can be worked through, but is often times, not.
You know, I've known CHRISTIAN HUSBANDS who were ticked off when their WIVES got pregnant. Real jerks.
Not a slam dunk answer about that - if people love and are unselfish - it's got a better shot than even people who "follow the rules"...really, I've seen it all.
For the record - I believe getting married, then having a child is the best...but if I *HAD* to choose (which we don't) b/w a strained unchristian "Christian" marriage, and a loving relationship where people actually treated each other in a Christlike manner and a baby came before the wedding, I'd choose the latter.
Those are NOT the only options and I'm not implying they are...just making a point.