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Butero

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Butero last won the day on April 22 2016

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About Butero

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  • Birthday 06/07/1965

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    http://www.johnbutero.wordpress.com

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    Religion, Politics, Music, Sports

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  1. Jewish Holy Days

    Thank you for your response. I know about the scriptures that indicate we shouldn't be judged by such things, but I have found in interesting that many Christians still observe them. I see nothing wrong with that. We aren't to judge those who do feel the need to observe them either, but I am hoping to better understand this from the point of view of Jewish Christians. I am interested in how their family goes about observing the Holy Days during the calendar year. What they have to do, and if this is more about tradition or because they feel it is required of them to worship God in a way that is pleasing to him. It is just one of those things I have been wanting a better understanding of, and being a gentile believer, there is no way I could simply read the Bible and completely understand the requirements and customs involved like a person who was raised doing these things and taught it from their youth by their parents. I do thank you for the video link. I will check that out. It looks to be interesting.
  2. Jewish Holy Days

    I have noticed that some Christians that are Jewish will observe the Holy Days that were mentioned in the Law of Moses. As a gentile believer, I have never done that, nor really understood the need for it under the New Covenant. This is a three part question for those that do. 1. Do you believe that it is required of Jewish followers of Christ to continue to observe the Holy Days given in the law of Moses? 2. Do you believe that all Christians should observe the Holy Days given in the law of Moses, whether that believer be Jew or Gentile, or does it only apply to Christians who are Jewish? 3. Can anyone give a list of all of the Holy Days that Jewish believers observe during the calendar year, and how they go about those observances in their household? I absolutely have no issue with such observances. I would like to better understand it. I can read what is written in the Bible, but that is not the same as actually witnessing someone participating in the observances or even explaining what they do from start to finish. We are right on the verge of Rosh Hashanah, when many have speculated that Jesus could return. That would be a great place to start. How would one go about observing this?
  3. I understand about a professing Christian misusing scripture to justify bad behavior. That is all too common in this day and age. Biblically, if a man doesn't provide for his own family, he is worse than an infidel and has denied the faith. That is what the Bible teaches. If someone is really following the Bible and the proper order for the family, the man should be the provider, and his wife shouldn't have to work a job. She should be free to take care of the kids and the home and be a full time homemaker. It makes me wonder if your husband doesn't know the scriptures or doesn't care. It wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't know them, as most in this generation don't follow the Bible. The husband is supposed to be the head of the home, but he is to be responsible too. I can clearly see why you are at your wits end. I am not sure that you really had no choice but to ask him to leave. You clearly did have a choice, but I can see why you were fed up. If your husband was back home right now, is he capable of supporting you and your family with his three sources of income? Is it possible for you to be a stay at home Mom? If you were to put things in such a way to where everything was on him, and the well being of the entire family was his responsibility, do you think he would step up to the plate and be a man, or would you lose everything and be out on the street? I think some of what is going on with his single, care free attitude is his way of getting back at you for throwing him out. That wouldn't be the same if he was back home. He clearly has bad habits, like neglecting his bills. You are the one living through this. It is impossible to get a clear picture from a handful of posts on a message board. The only fix for this marriage is to follow the Bible, and that means both of you, and that is only possible if you both are willing to do so. The goal has to be that your husband has a job that pays well enough to support his family. He seems like the type that doesn't need to be around a supervisor all day, but needs to be working by himself. I don't like working directly with a supervisor either, so truck driving has been good for me. Your husband could make good money doing something like that and get free training. The money could be direct deposited into your bank account and he could get by on advances while on the road. Just a suggestion. You have a large family, and the kids need you at home. I can tell you this much from experience. No man is happy when he can't pay his bills. He won't feel good about himself when his wife and kids aren't cared for. If your husband is two payments behind on the car, that is because he can't afford to catch it up, so that tells me his job is not paying enough. He needs training in something that pays better. I guarantee he has a very low self image, if for no other reason, than he can't pay his bills on time. Things would change dramatically if he were able to find a job he likes that pays well. Your husband's obsession with cleaning up behind you is another mental issue. That would get on anyone's nerves, but it is a sickness of sorts. He is bi-polar and obsessive compulsive. That is not a good combination, plus he has a temper and no patience. Do you think driving a truck might be something he could do? If he could do that, he would be on the road a lot of the time, you could still be technically together, and he should be in a better position to support his family. It is just a thought. There is no easy fix here because he clearly can't support a family on his income, so your legal separation and demands for child support won't give you the help you need. You said he wants to come home. Perhaps if you told him that if he gets his act together first, shows he is responsible and can hold down a job to where he can support his family, and proves himself, then he can return home. Tell him something like that his family needs him, but he has to be the man of the house, which means he makes sure his family is provided for. 1 Timothy 5:8 "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." God placed that burden on the man, not the woman. He can't just immediately have the ability to be a good provider, but he can get training to do something to where he can move in that direction. He also needs to learn that being the man of the house means he needs to learn to work well with others. He needs to realize when he flies off the handle and gets himself fired, that effects not only him, but the family God has placed him over to love and protect. Don't make any quick decisions, but think carefully how you proceed. Ultimately, your husband has to want to change for anything to work. If he won't be the provider and if neither of you want to fully follow Biblical guidelines, nothing will change. All any of us here at Worthy can do is pray for you. The only other thing I can advise, and I believe I already did, was that you both seek counseling together.
  4. Your situation is clearly worse than the way it came across, especially with him holding you down to keep you from leaving, and punching holes in the wall and being destructive. It sounds like he is on his way to becoming violent without psychiatric help, which you said he refuses to get. At the same time, if you head bopped him and he didn't lay a hand on you, I am not so sure about that. Cleaning up behind you just sounds like Felix Unger on "The Odd Couple.: It seems like you could have just let that slide. Still, the other stuff is serious. I do have one thing I still don't get. You said your husband works and has three sources of income. When did he start working? Has he been responsible to hold down a job? How long was he out of work?
  5. I don't think there is much I can do in the way of advise, but I will ask the Lord to help you through this difficult time in your life.
  6. An Abortion per Second

    I look at the abortionists as hit men. The women pay them to kill their baby, but it is all done legally. Hell enlargeth itself.
  7. Throwing someone out of the house because they lose their temper to cool off is not a good idea. It is one thing to walk out of the room and cool off, and another to throw someone out. It doesn't sound like he was any threat to the kids. There was no actual violence. He just raised his voice and said bad things to you, if I understand you correctly. I personally think that this marriage can be saved. Is it really about the kids? There are two ways to look at that. It is bad that they hear arguing. I grew up listening to fights, and yes, it got on my nerves, but I wanted both of my parents around. I would not have preferred they split up for peace. Thankfully, they remained together. How often does he blow up, and what leads to the fights? In looking back at some of the things that were said, I wonder who engineers the deals about how things are to be run. Who came up with that idea about him taking care of the house and you paying the bills? I would have never put up with that kind of arrangement, so I doubt it was his idea. He may have agreed to it, but did he really want that, or was it forced on him? There are too many questions here about why things got the way they are. Biblically, the husband is supposed to be the head of the house, and it doesn't sound like he ever was. It sounds like there was a power struggle taking place. When you said you carried all the expenses, it gave the impression he didn't work. Did you mean that you literally paid all the bills out of money you earned, and he kept everything he made, or did you just mean you handled the finances? If you just handled the finances, I can see him being upset by such an arrangement. If you mean he kept everything he earned personally, then I can't see why he couldn't afford a car. I know there are details here that are missing that are important to understanding what is taking place.
  8. Nice pic, Butero!  Is that the top of your head? :D

    1. Butero

      Butero

      I couldn't get it to fit as a profile pic.  The rest is available on facebook.  

  9. I was thinking the same thing about not having enough information. The abuse she mentioned was verbal abuse, not physical abuse, so it appears nobody was in any actual danger. It was more of an issue of creating a stressful situation. Being bi-polar is an illness, and I know it is hard for people living with someone with that condition to deal with the mood swings, but I know that when we get married, we do make a vow to remain with that person in sickness and in health. Just from the original post, when reading it, I can tell there were mistakes made by both people involved. In order to fix things, it would be helpful if both were in counseling together. I really don't think this marriage is beyond repair. That is just my opinion based on what little I read.
  10. In danger

    This is not a debate thread, so I am going to just give a couple of verses that show that Jesus can forgive sins. I do not wish to continue a heated debate over this topic because there is nothing wrong with praying to the Father in Jesus' name. That is how I generally to pray, but I don't believe we are not allowed to pray to Jesus, and I don't believe we can't go straight to Jesus for forgiveness of sins. I will give two examples. 1. The thief on the cross. When he asked Jesus for forgiveness, Jesus never told him to go to the Father. Luke 23:42,43 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise. 2. God the Father has left all judgement to Jesus Christ, which means he decides our eternal fate. Therefore, it makes sense to come to him for forgiveness of sins. John 5:22 "For the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment unto the Son." John 5:26,27 "For as the Father hath life in himself; so hath he given to the Son to have life in himself; And hath given him authority to execute judgment also, because he is the Son of man." I am not saying anyone that says we should direct our prayers to the Father is wrong. I am just saying that Jesus has the power to forgive sins, and we are not told we cannot pray to Jesus.
  11. In danger

    I will tell you what I will do. I don't have the time right now to give you scriptures, as I have things I must deal with this afternoon, but I will try to give you a better response later. In the meantime, in your first post, you said we are not allowed to ask Jesus to forgive our sins. Those are your words. You said, not allowed to. How about you coming up with scriptures to show that we aren't allowed to do that. The KJV Bible is not a Catholic Bible. Do your research. The Catholic have also rejected the KJV Bible for a modern English perversion, much like the rest of the church has. I have researched this issue. The modern translations change the meaning of verses and even leave portions of the canon out of the text. I can prove that rather easily. By the way, I didn't see you give "like 50 scriptures." How about numbering them 1 through "like 50" so we can see how close to 50 you got. I can accept it if it is 44 or s0. That is close enough, and I want real scriptures, from the KJV Bible. I don't accept that mess you posted as legitimate, and never will.
  12. I don't think everything you described is just bi-polar. Some of it is, but not all of it. He seems to have serious anger issues and distrust. You said you tried the humble wife approach. How long? You seem to have described a pattern of you asking him to leave and taking him back over and over and over again, and he would be the same way. Did you give it a fair chance, or did you give up when he started saying nasty things a time or two when you were doing your best? Unless you give this a fair chance over a long period of time, he isn't going to recognize things are any different than they were before. He will keep being the same "jerk." Without meds, he will keep being up and down, and he clearly needs counseling. Do you think that if you told him he could come home if he sees a psychiatrist regularly and takes his meds, he would consider doing that? Then you could try the Biblical counsel of being the submissive and humble wife and see how things go. One thing I would tell you though. Even if you do that, and he stays on his meds and gets help, there will be times he will blow up over nothing. Nothing will change overnight or be perfect. You would literally have to learn to take a certain amount of tongue lashings, because he has anger problems and it has become habitual. This is something that will only get better over time, and I doubt will ever be perfect. I was re-reading your original post. How did you come up with that arrangement where you would take care of the expenses and he would take care of the home? Often times, those kinds of arrangements don't work. Men have this thing built in where they feel they must be in control, or at least feel like they are. It sounds like you have a type of role reversal thing that was in place and that likely made him feel like less than a man. A guy having to come to his wife for money and get permission to use it for a car is going to make him angry. That is especially true if he is working. I have known of a lot of men who will work all week and give all the money to their wife to manage and get a very small amount of spending money back they are supposed to get by on. Then, they have to practically beg for anything else, if their wife doesn't think they need that much. They become very resentful, because they are working and can barely get by. I can't put my finger on it, but I can tell something was wrong with the arrangement you had, and that was causing some of the anger. You are handling the bills and the money, and in return, he is taking care of the house, but he is supposed to make the payments on a car you gave him the down payment for out of savings, I assume was built up from money you both earned, that neither of you were supposed to touch. Who came up with the plan that neither of you was to touch any of that money? I think some of this is bi-polar, and some is inner anger on your husband's part because he feels like he is not in charge, and God has put it inside of men that they are to be the head of their home. It doesn't have to be taught. It is just something on the inside. You probably both are in need of counseling together. I know there are two sides to every story, and without getting both sides here, it is hard to know what more to suggest. It is like I can see mistakes made by both of you in this marriage, but you would both have to be willing to work out something that is really satisfactory to both of you. It can't be something you come up with that he can only come home if you do things this way or that way. It needs to be something where you both sit down and come up with a plan that is REALLY fine with both of you with regard to the money, the household chores, and everything else. Come up with something to where if it isn't working our, it can be re-considered. Neither should throw it in the face of the other that they agreed to this so it is set in stone forever. If someone has a problem, talk it out. His ego won't let him feel like he is not in control and his wife is in charge. A lot of women don't understand that, and it causes a lot of strife as there is a constant fight for control taking place. There are a lot of unanswered questions here. He needs to see a psychiatrist to get the bi-polar situation under control, and you both need marriage counseling from a Christian counselor that actually believes in following scripture. That is the best thing I can suggest. I pray that God gives you wisdom in how to proceed from here.
  13. In danger

    You are comparing praying to Jesus to looking at porn??? You have got to be kidding! You stated we are not allowed to pray to Jesus, and I guarantee that you cannot produce any scripture that says that, so you come up with this ludicrous comparison. When I pray, as a general rule, I begin with "Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus." That is what I do when I am in the prayer closet and making requests. I will often pray the Lord's Prayer, where we ask God to forgive us our trespasses. No problem there either. At the same time, I will sometimes talk to Jesus like I would a friend, which is a type of prayer. I do believe I can confess my sins to Jesus and he can forgive them, because we have examples of him forgiving sins in the Bible and he said he has the power to forgive sins. I would normally baptize in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit, as Jesus said to do that, but in Acts, it mentions baptizing in the name of Jesus. Therefore, both are ok. I have spoken directly to the Holy Spirit when I have a question about the meaning of something in scripture. Remember that Jesus said he was returning to the Father, but he was sending us the comforter who would lead us into all truth. I therefore have asked the Holy Spirit, who is with me and all other Christians for help understanding things, and he has given me answers. That is a type of prayer. You gave me no scripture as far as I am concerned. I have no idea what you were quoting from but it wasn't the Bible. It was some weird commentary or paraphrase, but it wasn't from a real Bible. It was such a perversion, I didn't recognize it at all. You say "Truth is Power." Here is truth. There is an assault against the true Word of God through perverted versions of scripture, and I reject all of them, and only accept what is found in the KJV Bible. If you want to debate what is truth, we might as well add that into the mix, but before we do, let me point out that this is not a debate thread. A person was looking for advise on a serious matter. I gave him advise and you turned it into a debate. We can both agree on one thing. We both agree it is fine to direct our prayers to the Father in Jesus' name. There is no controversy there, so in order to prevent this from getting out of hand and turning into yet another unfruitful doctrinal fight, I am willing to suggest that when I said he should pray to Jesus and ask his forgiveness, he should ask the heavenly Father to forgive his sins in Jesus' name. I still don't think it really matters, but I am willing to let it go for the sake of a person who was seeking help so as not to cause unnecessary confusion.
  14. In danger

    I am Trinitarian, and have no issue with praying to the Father in the name of Jesus, but Jesus himself forgave people of their sins and stated that he has the power to forgive sins. He is our great high priest, so yes, you can ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins, and yes, he can do so. Again, I am not "Jesus only." I am Trinitarian. I also would baptize in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, but if someone chooses to baptize in the name of Jesus, I don't believe that it is of no value. Bottom line is that I disagree with you.
  15. I have one question. You said that she reacted drastically by choosing divorce. What was she reacting to? A lot of people go around thinking that if they feel something is right or wrong, that is automatically God's Spirit. Often times, it is not. If those feelings go contrary to the Bible, it cannot be.
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