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Found 12 results

  1. If you have a chance, please do read the entire parable of the Shrewd Manager in Luke 16. The verses that real caught my attention are: ( Luke 16:8-9 ) 8 And his master praised the unrighteous manager because he had acted shrewdly; for the sons of this age are more shrewd in relation to their own kind than the sons of light. 9 And I say to you, make friends for yourselves by means of the wealth of unrighteousness, so that when it fails, they will receive you into the eternal dwellings. Let me be very frank, I am really bad when it comes to doing business. I'm Not saying that I am wasteful when it comes to spending money. I am reasonably careful with mony. It's Not like I click purchase on every item that I like on amazon.com However, a used car salesman can probably sell me a piece of junk as a car, and I'd probably Only find out as soon as I drive it off the car dealership's parking lot. Basically, I'm Not that business-minded. Therefore, I would consider myself to be like the "sons of light" who are relatively Not as shrewd as the "sons of this age" In my family, my Dad was shrewd at business, but my Mom is Not. Therefore, my Dad would handle negotiations when we wanted to buy a car or a house, etc. One of my concerns as I communicate with Christian ladies for dating is whether or Not they are shrewd at business. It's sort of a Drawback if both of us were like the "sons of light". Could someone please provide their opinion/feedback in regards to the aforementioned case?
  2. David & Michal's relationship does lead to marriage which is recorded in 1 Samuel 18:27. However, I was wondering how Christians who are seeking to date/court someone or are already in a courting/dating relationship can learn from David & Michal of the bible. A) We start off with Michal loving David which is clearly stated in 1 Samuel 18:20 (which could also suggest/hint/indicate that Michal & David did know each other before getting married, and so we can sort of assume that this was Not really an arranged marriage which is a common custom in ancient times, and also still quite a common custom presently practiced in the region of South Asia( Indian subcontinent ). To be more specific, it is Not like an arranged marriage where the man and woman may Only communicate for a really short period of time( like 5 minutes to an hour or so), and then decide to get an arranged marriage with the blessing of the man's family and the woman's family B) As premised by point A) above David & Michal did know each other for some period of time prior to their marriage. Therefore, we can probably assume that David knew that Michal had a household idol in her possession which is evidenced in 1 Samuel 19:13. Since David & Michal are both Jews in Ancient Israel, we have to wonder why David was Not troubled by the fact that his betrothed had a household idol which categorically violates the 1st commandment of the 10 commandments. So from a modern perspective, Christians who are dating/courting should make note of behaviours/actions that categorically violates their Christian faith. For example, if the person who you are courting/dating is repeatedly & knowingly listening to inappropriate music(i.e music with sexual connotations, bad language, etc.) then those would be clear warning sign that you should end the relationship, and Not marry said person C) When we read 2 Samuel 6:16-23 , we know that they are already married because it was previously mentioned that David married Michal in 1 Samuel 18:27. However, could Christians who are still in courtship/dating learn something from 2 Samuel 6:16-20 even though 2 Samuel 6:16-23 recounts a story about David & Michal after they were married ? Let me explain. The narrative in 2 Samuel 6:16-23 which emphasizes Michal's strong feelings of severe disgust/spite/embarrassment when she sees David's dancing during worship which may have been Unsophisticated/Inelegant/"Uncool" from her perspective. Subsequently, Michal harshly criticizes 2 Samuel 6:20 by saying a condescending manner: (2 Samuel 6:20b)......“How the king of Israel distinguished himself today! He uncovered himself today in the eyes of his servants’ maids as one of the foolish ones shamelessly uncovers himself!” Based how we read 2 Samuel 6:16-23 , we can probably assume that Michal was very arrogant towards David because he was dancing during worship. Do Not get me wrong, I understand if a spouse/(partner in courtship/dating) might mildly rebuke whomever they have married/presently courting/dating for singing too loudly in worship or dancing in a goofy manner. But I believe that Michal's response in 2 Samuel 6:20b is a lot harsher and a lot more critical than a mild rebuke. D) Finally, if we are Christians who are in courtship/marriage, we can probably make some noteworthy assumptions from 2 Samuel 6:23 which states: (2 Samuel 6:23) Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death Some readers might say that due to Michal's overly harsh criticism of David, God would Not allow Michal to have children which is probably why Michal Never had any children till the day of her death, even if David may have continued to have sexual relations with Michal during their marriage. However, another perspective could lead us to assume that due to Michal's overly harsh criticism of David , David himself Stopped having any kind of sexual relationship with Michal which is probably why Michal Never had any children till the day of her death. This 2nd perspective would bring up the questions: "Should Christians who are in a courting/dating relationship just end their relationship ASAP( which is sort of symbolized by David Not having sex with Michal after her overly harsh criticism) with their partner after an experience similar to the one David had with Michal in 2 Samuel 6:16-23 ? In others, should we single Christians clearly make note of the fact that we should Never date/court someone who is overly harsh & excessively arrogant in life like 2 Samuel 6:16-23's Michal?"
  3. I’ve developed feelings for a nonbeliever (an agnostic who also has strong feelings for me), and I’ve been so hesitant (and stressed) because I know it is advised not to date nonbelievers (and certainly forbidden to marry them). I’ve been praying that God help me out of this situation (if that is His will) because at this point there’s some emotional investment and I don’t exactly know what to do. This girl identifies as agnostic. I’ve admitted the reasons for my hesitation to her, so she knows. She said she honestly does not see herself ever believing right now, but she is interested in learning about my beliefs and faith. After sharing some quotes with her, she’s even said she’s interested in the book I’m reading now (Mere Christianity by CS Lewis). I certainly want to share more with her about what I believe, but I know I shouldn’t missionary date. Right now we have both agreed we are just friends, not exactly exclusively dating yet. However, even though we’ve had a lot of physical distance between us lately, we have still been flirting as if we’re exclusively dating or at least as if we’re are planning on it, admittedly. So this is the mess I’ve gotten myself into. There are also things besides the spiritual aspect that sort of make things complicated. I don’t know what to do. Prayer and advice would be appreciated. Thanks for reading!
  4. There are many Christians that are dating. Now according to the bible there is not a scripture that says don't date. Now my question is as a Christian if a non Christian has a crush on you and asks you out what would your answer be?
  5. Hello, I made this account for this one question to get feedback. I don’t know where else to go right now, I’m in tears writing. Please hear me out, I would appreciate it. I will make it as short as possible. I’m a Christian guy who grew up in a textbook Christian home, the rule was simple in my mind, I believed, no kissing or “feeling” before marriage. I was solid on that and is what I believe today. I always knew why it was wrong and steered away from any situation that would tempt me. I ended up in a close friendship at 15-16 and she knew my line in the sand. She said she wanted to kiss, I didn’t want to, she said okay and I told her I’d leave if she tried. Her mom said to do something (after almost two years) or I would become uninterested and leave. She told me this. I always wanted the help her any way I could. She told me about how she gets excited and asked me to help... I crossed my line. In my moment of the flesh, I helped excite her with my hand under the blanket, it was wrong and I knew it. A couple days later I had my first kiss, the moment our lips touched I felt sick, I threw up. I knew I should have waited and I could never get it back, I cried wondering “what have I done” I can’t get back any of it. I wish I could take it back, I’d do anything to take it back. I left her that night. I dreaded the day I’d end up going into a relationship. I’d have to tell my future interest, I slipped up. That brings me to today. 5 years later. I’m 21 and I really like this girl, dare say I love her. She already has my heart after 6 months. We showed mutual interest and I talked to her dad and got the okay. Maybe I have already gone to far with not telling her. Today we set the ground rules just between the two of us, she matched perfectly with my young self, wedding day kiss. I didn’t tell her anything, I should have. I’m crying now because I gave that part of me away, she was expecting it of me, she said she wants to save the first kiss for her wedding day. I know I have to tell her and I will crush her heart more with every fleeting moment I keep this from her. My question to you readers now is how? how do you bring this up? I’m terrified, I never wanted to hurt her. I feel I don’t deserve her, I’m dirty. She is as innocent as it gets. Thank you for any of your comments. I will be reading every one. **I don't know how to reply to your comments so I'll do that here** Debp: you are right, i have confessed and asked for forgiveness for it and prayed id never be in the same situation again. thank you Justin Adams: That's what I'm trying to figure out, i don't know when to discus this, is this to early-to late? I try and look from her perspective, i just know if i was her id want to know early. The big "I want the first kiss on the wedding day" is killing me, i dont want to keep her in the dark at a minimum about that. then be done with all of it. What is the confession of faith you where talking about? Thank you for your response. Billiards Ball: Id say my guilt comes from the her hope for the first kiss at the alter, and I have given away what should be my future wives. Not to mention the other. thank you for your incite. ## To All : I am going to start this relationship the right way, my biggest concern is to not hurt her. I don't want to hold something back she would wish could have been taken care of in the beginning. I don't want to keep secrets from her. I also don't want to tell her unnecessary information that would hurt her. I want to know where that line is. Should I just tell her, "I'm sorry, I have had my first kiss" and leave it at that? Do I dare ever mentioning the other thing? I have been praying about this all day, I will be talking with her again this evening. Thanks for your feedback.
  6. I got in contact with a girl online a bit over two weeks ago. Since first writing to her, we have been chatting daily and talked over the phone a few times. We will soon meet for the first time. We are both Christian and we both like each other thus far. She has been very nice, funny and enjoyable to talk to over the phone. I really wish that we continue to like each other when we meet and I hope that we become partners sometime in the future. However, to be honest, from a worldly perspective, she is not great. She has a history of mental ill-health, is diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, didn't finish high school, has never had a job, etc. On the other hand, she has a great personality, is very honest and cares a lot about finding a partner who's Christian. She currently has no Christian family members or friends, so it's a real blessing from God that she found Christ. But I'm not sure what qualities to look for in a future partner. Is it enough that she's a confessing Christian and that we are attracted to each other? I really believe that we can be bless each other's lives, even if she hasn't been successful from a worldly perspective.
  7. My boyfriend and his ex are in the same class. They're best of friends because theyp apparently realized that they're better off as friends than anything else. A few months back I found messages on his phone between them, she was feeling upset so he tried cheering her up and even went as far as to call her baby ?... Since then we have broken up nonstop and she was the cause of it. The fact that he didn't want to cut her out of his life keeps causing us to break up. He says they're just friends and he keeps making excuses for their friendship. I feel like she holds a higher level of importance in his life and that hurts me. He comes from a broken home and because of that whenever we break up he uses that as an excuse to guilt trip me by making me take him back. Our relationship has reached the point where we reply with just one word. I am so tired of hurting and worrying about his loyalty towards me. It's painful to go to bed every night wondering what he has been up to behind my back seeing as we're in a long distance relationship. Before she came into the picture I trusted him with my whole life. Now I can't say the same. I want to observe a spiritual fast for him and for him to have a change of heart and also for him to become a Godly Christian man, as well as for our future together. But I don't want to do it if it's all gonna be in vain later down the line. i am so confused. I really need someone to give me clearance from a Christian view. Please help me
  8. Recently a young man asked me how one knows when one is mature enough for marriage. I responded to him, with some thoughts that went beyond his specific question. I am about to include my reply here. I should add though that some of these principles are for men and women both, and can also be considered in other aspect of life in addition to marriage. Also, I would like to add, that before getting married, I think it is wise (in terms of human wisdom, not Biblical revelation) for people to consider carefully the idea of being established as individuals before starting life in marriage. Finances, careers, education, and other skills in living, can go a long way to reducing the stresses that marriages can encounter. When considering marriage, good, Christian pre-marital counseling can be a very good thing. Try not to start off a marriage with financial problems. Learn about another before learning about them in marriage. Be aware that people often put their best foot forward during courtship, only to become lazy in marriage, revealing their true character. Be careful people, this is a life long commitment, and you do not want to make mistakes here. In my country (U.S.A.), it has become common practice to engage in a ritual we call dating. Unfortunately, dating often interferes with learning about one another. We have a tendency to make dating about being entertained in each other's presence. We go to a movie, or a theme park, or a restaurant, things like that. That can be enjoyable, but it typically prevents us from having meaningful communication about things we need to know about each other. I think it would be better, to meet with other people, more often than going out on a date. I suggest that being around people who are more experienced in life, especially people who already have long term, successful marriages. It is not the most enjoyable way to spend time perhaps, but it is a better way to learn about each other and focus on important things, than watching the latest Fast and Furious movie. Group Bible studies and prayer meetings, even getting together with others for fellowship, are better ways to get to know each other. Group situations are better, being together as only a man and a woman, is giving opportunity to temptation. Any time spent kissing, is time spent NOT getting to know one another, and you know once you start down a path, it is hard to turn around. Stay on the true path, do not get side-tracked. Anyway, what I wrote in answer to the question of know when one is mature enough for marriage, was this: That is an excellent question, and I am not sure that I am wise enough to provide a good answer, but I will offer some thoughts. First, if marriage is something you seek to do, as in something you are pursuing as a priority in your life, you may have your priorities wrong. Pleasing God, pursuing His will should be your priority. When I say pursuing His will, I do not mean things, like "where should I live", "where should I work or go to school" or questions like that. One can pursue God's will no matter where one lives or where one works. Paul, as an example, pursued God's will from a Roman jail. Jesus did the will of the Father by dying on the cross. Paul instructs us to expect troubles and persecution and learn to be content in our circumstances. Jesus tells us to take up our cross daily, and to count persecution as something to be joyful about and count as a blessing. So, I think that much of what we are called to, as Christians, has to do with our attitude, and our willingness to serve both God and others. If we pursue worldly pleasures as a priority, it will not be long before we go off track. This can be true even in subtle and harmless, even good things. There is nothing wrong with things like good food, or entertainment, a shiney new car, a wonderful home, the latest smart phone, or even a wife and family. However, when any of these things, distracts us from God, or cause us to split our loyalty or to seek them first over the kingdom of God, they we have allowed them to become idols. Take note that niether Jesus nor Paul ever married. Paul pointed out that there is a danger in being married, in that pleasing our wives, can distract us from our service to the Lord. When you think about it, the world was cursed, because one man, decided to listen to his wife over listening to God. Paul also tells us that it is good stay single, but if a person lacks self-control then they should marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with lust. Of course, it is better to have self control, and I suggest that since self control is part of the nine-fold fruit of the Spirit, that we really have little or no excuse to not have self control. That is part of Christian maturity. I think one way we know that we are ready for marriage, is when we have come to a place where (instead of looking for the right person) we are more concerned with being the right person. Paul gives husbands the instruction to love our wives, as Jesus loves the church, and died for her. To translate that to human action, husband to wife, we are willing to sacrifice for her, and serve her, and most of all love her. The problem with modern, western men, is that we have come to think of love as having warm, fuzzy, pleasurable feelings about someone. This is very distorted. Love is about serving others, sacrificing for others, seeking the well being of others. As much as it appeals to our flesh to live with a woman and enjoy the benefits of marriage, it is more loving to seek her well being, doing what is best for her instead of cooperating with her in fulfilling mutual pleasure. I believe grounded Christian women, and grounded Christian men, recognize that men have been assigned the role of being the spiritual leader of the couple. That is not something that we hold over our spouse, as some sort of boss or authority, it about being wise, caring, and wanting the best for her, and nurturing her relationship with God. A functional couple is not spending all of their lives, gazing into each others eyes, it is looking outward (and upward), in the same direction. I think also, that we not only need to seek being the right person for our spouse, we should seek a spouse that is right for us. They do not need to be perfect, and certainly things like appearance are extremely low on the priority list. People who are of good character, who both love the Lord first over all, are great candidates for each other. That can take a lot of patience, but to settle for too little, will lead to the people in a relationship, dragging each other down when they should be pulling in the same direction. A couple like that can accomplish a lot for the kingdom of God, and will have a very fulfilling relationship if they can manage to maintain that focus. Take some time to familiarize yourself with 1 Cor, chapter 7, and 1 Cor, chapter 13. Meanwhile, I shall pray for you, and suggest that you not be to shy, to ask others to do so as well.
  9. My girlfriend is coming up to visit me and she is obviously staying in my house (I still live with my parents since I'm in college). Can we share a bed when we know we're not going to be having sex? We have already said that is off the table and we know we're saving ourselves for marriage.
  10. Hello, I want for advice. I am really interested into finding Christian wife for entire life and do not even know where to look. I try local dating sites, not even sure if it is OK at all, not so serious place where all entertain each other with soft erotic. No success from them either. So I ask from those married happily mainly for advice. Where I should look for her? Or maybe I do not have to search actively like that at all and wait for God timing?
  11. I am 21. I never had a boyfriend before. My parents have always overprotected me by not letting me have any contact with the opposite sex. I spent so long without guys contact that I spent 4 years in depression thinking that I was lesbian because I had feelings for some girls in high school and never fell for a guy before. My family wasn't here for me and I tried to kill myself several times. But now that I am in college, I met some guys and I started to have crushes and realized that its a different feeling and that I am not actually gay. During this moment that I started to talk to guys, my mom started to become closer and ask a lot of questions about my guy friends. But I realized that whenever I liked someone and wanted to give them a chance, she always found a reason why and told me that I like guys too much, I am promiscuous and all. 5 months ago I met this christian african guy who really likes me. He's too years younger than me. 19 and I am 21. I would like to give him a chance and when I told my mom she started to srceam at me with anger all the time, she came to the point of beating me up over that and told me that If I accept to be his girlfriend that he won't be welcomed at home. But this guy is like my bestfriend, I got mad after this last fight which happens a couple days ago, than I said yes to the guy. My mom says that she doesn't like him because he's african and he's lazy (because he likes to play and go out all the time and take few classes with not that good grades) ) and he doesn't have a job yet. I like him because he's a christians with good manners, he's willing to wait for marriage to have sex, is playful, don't smoke or drink, makes me happy, really likes me plus he said that he will look for a job and applied for more classes. At my college we need to work in other to gain practice hours before we able to graduate. So I am 2 years in advanced because I work at school better and faster. Even though he started only 1 semester after me. My dad was killed last year so my mom would like to remarry and live her life, so she told me that she won't be able to keep me here for too long and I have to get married fast with 3-4 years and have kids and that this christian guy won't be able to marry me that soon so I should find someone else. My mom makes my life impossible since and keeps on treating to kick me out of the house. WHO SHOULD I CHOOSE!? WHAT SHOULD I DO? WHAT WOULD BE A CHRISTIAN WAY OF SOLVING THIS ISSUE? SHOULD I MOVE OUT AND GET A STUDIO SINCE I JUST GOT A JOB AND STAY WITH HIM? OR SHOULD I LIVE HIM AFTER A WEEK RELATIONSHIP AND LIVE WITH MY MOM? PLEASE HELP ANYONE! I am feeling so depressed from this situation.
  12. something i noticed which was pretty amusing. But do you think a man would be right or christianlike to have this opinion
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