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Found 5 results

  1. Tl:Dr - a friend/acquaintance of mine pops up every so often asking to borrow money, always under the pretence of "ran out of food and don't get paid for a few days." I'm starting to feel a little bit resentful as I feel like they are using me and I am starting to suspect they are lying to me about some things that are going on. The money never gets paid back but I have accepted that when they ask to borrow I am actually gifting them the money. Is it ok to say no even when they are saying they are in desperate need? Long version - I've known her for a while, since she was a teenager. Just after I first met her she said her mom had kicked her out several times then asked her to leave for good due to her coming out as LGBT. I was furious and heartbroken on her behalf and didn't hesitate to help her in any way that I could, such as driving her to her girlfriends house where she now lives (which is a long distance away) when public transport was cancelled or giving her money to help with practical needs. However, while I know things are not always as they seem online, I have recently seen some social media posts which strongly suggest that she actually has a good relationship with her mom and that when she moved out to go live with her girlfriend it was actually her choice and was done with her mom's blessing. While I don't know the ins and outs, I'm now wondering if things didn't happen the way she presented it to me at the time. I've given her lots of money in the past, usually in small amounts of $10-$30 and I didn't mind at the time but it's all starting to add up and I'm starting to feel resentful at the thought that she is just using me as a cash machine. What I generally find is that I won't hear from her for ages then when she gets in contact in desperate need of help I'll give her a small amount then she'll keep messaging asking for more until it starts to add up and I say no then I don't hear from her for a while again and so on. Also in the past I have suggested I could help her look for other sources of income such as state benefits or funding from LGBT charities that she may be entitled to but she has always declined this and my offers to help her ways other than financially. Again, from what I see on social media I'm starting to get the feeling that she is trying to live beyond her means and that by giving her money I may just be funding an irresponsible lifestyle. So is it ok to say no to giving money even when she is presenting it as a desperate need such as "I haven't eaten in several days and don't get paid until next week"? I would feel awful and heartless for saying no in those circumstances but I'm not sure how true it is. We're not that close anymore and I think there must be a long line of people that she would be able to ask before me that would be willing to help her if she was in genuine need, I think she jumps straight to me cause she knows more often than not I'll say yes. Today when she messaged asking I suggested she ask her relatives for help but she just said "no unfortunately I can't" Can I put my foot down here without looking and feeling completely heartless? Should I talk to her about what I saw on social media and ask her about what's really going on?
  2. I have always been an avid reader since I learned to read. Books are a part of my life and will be until I am no longer here on earth or too old to see the words on the page. Even if that happens I will move to audio books. It makes me sad that in society today so many people would rather watch videos and listen to talking heads on a screen rather than read the written word. If I had to describe myself as a book I would say I am an "Open Book". I have a chapter on history with a lot of nostalgia, a couple of chapters on self-help with testimonies of dysfunctional family and marriage issues, a chapter on lack of obedience and learning be more obedient, a small chapter on science fiction regarding the universes, galaxies, and all of creation with many questions and few answers, another small chapter on laughter and humor, a large chapter on love and forgiveness, a large chapter on God and my walk with Him since I was 5 years old and first asked Him "why?" and He began answering me, a very sweet chapter of finding Jesus and being filled with the Holy Spirit, and an unfinished chapter of life on earth which is still being competed. There are no fictional chapters of me because I am very outspoken, upfront and truthful. Sometimes far too much of these 3 things. The Lord is still working on me regarding the wisdom and knowledge chapters. In my time here on Worthy I have found so many different people with so many different stories that have formulated them into the book that they are. Many are walking medical encyclopedias. Many are huge volumes of intellect. Many are encouragement books and scripture reference books. I have even found some comic books here. We are a huge library filled with many different kinds of books! I hope you will take a few minutes to tell us what kind of book you are? It may help us to read you better.
  3. oil portraits of friends, would like to add photographs, but cant see how ?
  4. Warning: there are some dark topics in this post such as bullying, stranger danger, sexual references. Something I think about a lot - not surprising since social media is pretty much ingrained in most people's daily routines these days - is how Christians use and let their children use social media. Are some apps okay and others not? Or do you ban it completely in your household? Do you track your kids activity or put protective passwords on the internet? I've thought about this a lot in the past, but thought I'd post about it now because at the moment, I'm sitting in my 13 year old sister's room while she's on her phone talking to a stranger over WhatsApp. The stranger is a teenager who is confused about their gender. They already had reassignment surgery and now a couple years later they want to change back, so my sis tells me. They're also a self harmer, which I have sympathy for, but I don't really want my sis exposed to any pictures or gory info about this person's experiences with self harm. My sister is mature, but lacks common sense sometimes. The stranger has been harassing her for months, saying that she loves her and that she belongs to her. Even though my sis has made it perfectly clear they're not 'together' this person keeps insisting they are and she knows one of my sister's friends in person apparently. That's kinda creepy. I only use FB and IG for business promotion now, but in the past I've had messages from strangers on IG which turned out to be naked pics or porn, and I'm a bit worried my sister has experienced this too. Of course I can't do anything about it since she's not my child. I've told her to block the person but she says she feels bad if she ignores them as they guilt trip her with sad stories about them. I've got all her passwords so I can monitor what she's doing online. I trust her, she's not an idiot, but I don't trust other people on the internet. (How ironic that I'm posting this on an online forum ?) She's sweet and innocent and smart, never had a boyfriend, whereas her real friends have had boyfriends and girlfriends and done things with them. She knows I don't think she's in the right circle, but she thinks she knows what she's doing. I can't blame her, I was the same at her age, however I always say I was born first so I could do all the stupid stuff so they wouldn't have to. I was hoping they'd learn from my mistakes lol. Point is, the internet can be a dangerous place, especially for kids. For most people these days images of sex/violence, deadly internet pranks/trends and online bullying is normal and not something to be especially anxious about, but for Christians who actually practice what they preach and try their best to keep themselves and their families away from these things in real life, the internet and social media is something worth protecting ourselves and our children from. So I want opinions from fellow Christians. Is it okay to let your kids/younger siblings on the internet unsupervised, or should we block some things? Or can some kids be trusted to obey their parents if they set some basic rules for using the internet? Should kids be banned from social media all together? By kids I mean people under 16. Other than staying in touch with friends, I don't see the point in people younger than 16 having social media. Sure sometimes their picture gets likes and it makes them feel good for a bit, but sometimes they don't get any likes or response on their posts at all and believe me, in a teen's mind the bad will always outweigh the good, whether they're Christian or not. It's like if a hundred people all gave you a compliment. You'd appreciate them, but if someone insulted you, you'd think more about the insult than the compliment. I don't know, maybe I'm just one of those people who doesn't understand it despite my age. I grew up poor and while some of my friends had all the latest tech as soon as it hit the shops, I had to use a landline or my legs to stay in touch with people until I was fifteen, when I finally got my own laptop. I didn't have a decent mobile phone (that I didn't have to share with my 2 brothers) til I was seventeen and even then I never had credit, so I wasn't constantly available to everyone. I just find it weird that such young kids are so easily accessible to friends and strangers alike I guess ? What do you think and what are some good and bad experiences you or your children have had on the internet??
  5. Part of the challenge in being a Pastor is loneliness. I am friends with many of the people in our church but there is and most likely always be some degree of separation between them and me. A recent survey found 78% of Pastors have no close friends. What I am not sure of is how to find and make new friends. I welcome any input. Thanks very much Rick
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