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Hi there! I am going to start off by giving a bit of a backstory, and please hear me out by reading all of this because I am in dire need right now. I grew up in a lovely home with Baptist parents who attended church every Sunday. However, I hit very traumatic times at about 7 years old, and now I am 16, going on 17, and my life is healing from the trauma of divorced parents, dealing with calling defax on my own mother for emotional, verbal, and sometimes physical abuse, hating my father for years due to my mother calling him unworthy every chance she got- only to find that my father did everything he could to make me realize he meant no harm, and all the mental issues which came with these life experiences. Shortly after turning 12, four years into my nearly 10-year real-life conflict, I found myself falling far from God. Although I had become fully saved according to the Baptist faith and believed with all my heart that God was my savior and my all at age 10, I fell far from Him only two years later. Two years later, at 12, and hardly 12 at that, I text my friend late one summer night. "I don't know that I believe in God anymore," I sent her, crying my eyes out because all I needed right then was someone to pull me back to God and say that I needed to hold on. I desperately needed someone to grab my ears and pull me up saying, "Hello!! Jesus is alive! He is alive! And He loves you more than you'll ever comprehend!" But, the reality was far from this. My friend responds less than a minute later. "I am an Atheist." My heart dropped at the message. But... strangely enough, it later was found with relief. I felt ACCEPTANCE for falling from Him! It sounds crazy because it is. I researched for a long time, mainly in the wrong places, and I found myself to identify as an Atheist. This lasted for years, all the way until a month or so ago to be frank. I am going to be 17 in July and going into the 12th grade next year, and I believe this all happened in the summer of going into 6th or 7th grade, which would have put me at 11 or 12. So for 5, possibly 6, years I have been very lost and falling blind of God. I fell into believing I was transgender, from female to male, to believing I was gay and dating a girl almost a full year. Many, many tragic things followed this initial start of trauma when my parents got a divorce at 7 years old. Now, having all that said... I still feel a strong incomplete pit in my life, this being my relationship with God. I still question my sexuality today. I believe that being abused for all those years led me to believe I was homosexual because beforehand, I never EVER questioned my sexuality. I was your typical "boy-crazy" little girl who would go to their mom after school and say, "Guess what mommy! [Enter name here] talked to me today! I was so nervous!" I can tell you confidently now that I know I am a beautiful, straight female who deserves just as much as everyone else. In my heart, I feel that. However, I hesitate to answer so confidently in person because it takes denying my past conflictions to find my true self deep within me that, yes, I am that person. For a long time I denied this person that I was because of the many times my mother would tell me that I wasn't her daughter, I wasn't what she wanted, and I was a mistake through and through. I believe truly, within my heart, that abuse can cause lifetime problems such as this. Abuse, especially that in childhood, does not just affect your personality, your social life, and your way of coping with life situations. Abuse affects your lifestyle, your beliefs, and all the critical things of yourself. I am stuck. My ex-best friend and I started talking recently. We grew up together and shortly after I went from a true Christian to Atheist, we fell apart from one another. In the past month, we found each other via social media and I have come to find, not to my surprise, that she is still very faithful and connected to God. Even when we were little and very close, I was inspired by her connection with God and trust in Him, despite our different beliefs. She was raised Apostolic Pentecostal. I was raised Baptist. However, now that we have reconnected, I have caught her up with everything that happened to me in the past years that we haven't talked. She amazes me still at her immaculate trust in God. She is now involved in leading many youth groups to teach the Bible to younger kids, as well as attending her own youth group herself. This makes me intrigued in her beliefs since I am currently not under any official belief besides that in which God does indeed exist. My mother is not much in the picture anymore, so I have free reign to explore all sorts of Christianity that I please without fear of being bashed or shunned for doing anything other than Baptism. I have been looking into Apostolic Pentecostal all day, trying to actually understand what the belief is all about compared to Baptism, since that is what I know best, and it makes so much more sense to me compared to what I grew up with. Is there anybody who is an Apostolic Pentecostal that could please help guide me and help me in understanding the beliefs? I am very intrigued by this way of praise and church-going. So please, if you read all of this, which I hope you did because it contributes so much to my reasoning behind this, and you are an Apostolic Pentecostal, please give me information on your beliefs and ways of praising and keeping faith. I am finding God again, and I do not plan on losing Him this time. Not again.

I am a 23 year old female. I've been struggling with my gender and sexuality since I was around 13 years old. I "came out" as gay in highschool. I "came out" as "transgender" a few years after that. I started dressing like a male around that time. I cut my hair short. I wore really baggy male clothes to hide my feminine figure. I even bound my chest. Everyone in my family knows me as a transgender. They know I like male stuff (Like video games, sci-fi, and fantasy stuff). They started calling me my "preferred name" a few months ago. I don't want to be known as a transgender or lesbian anymore. I want to be a woman. A godly woman. A woman who wears women's clothes, and covers her head like women are told to in the Bible. I believe pants were made for men. And, 99% of women's pants are too tight and not modest at all. I want to be a modest woman. I want to start wearing skirts and dresses. I want to grow my hair out. I dont want to sin like this anymore. Is there anyone here who has been suffering the same as me? I really need help right now. I feel so lost. I prayed to God for help, but, so far, nothing's happened. Well, I don't think anything's happened. I've been watching people's testimonies on YouTube, of ex-transgenders and ex-homosexuals. I think that is God's way of telling me that what I am doing is a sin. Is it? Do you think so? I've never acted on my homosexual thoughts, but I have watched porn before, and I feel really ashamed, guilty, and disgusted at myself for doing so. I believe masturbation and pornography is a sin, but I can't stop. I'm addicted to it. Please, anyone, help. Any ex-transgenders or ex-homosexuals, preferably women, on here? I would really like some advice on what to do about this situation. Thanks in advance, God bless, and sorry that this post is so long! ♡

I have been feeling so down lately and I have prayed to God for help, I have felt alone with no one to talk to. I prayed for help and then I found myself here, is this God answering my prayer?

Godmorning to you all, I’ve been wondering a lot about the creation and life of dinosaurs seen from a Christian perspective. Is it possible that they never actually existed and that it’s a trick played on us by NASA, just like the earth is round theory? Or did God actually create these creatures on the 6th day? It just seems unnatural to me, that dinosaurs would have roamed the earth at the same time as Adam and Eve, but since God is almighty, would he have been able to create a hole in time and space and simply add these glorious creatures to a time before existence? I’m really looking forward to a nice discussion and some truthful answers, so please keep it light. Have a wonderful day!

I have a leader in my church who has been helping me address some historical abuse issues in my life. They are hard and painful for me, and I admittedly return to fear and anger instead of holding to faith. A couple weeks ago this leader was frustrated at me for lacking faith, and he said to me, “I’m done.” Literally those words. When I asked him, he said that he was getting in the way of my relationship with the Savior and he would not counsel me anymore. He has refused to speak to me at all since that time. I am angry and hurt and it feels like God is done with me, too. I am not sure what I am supposed to feel or do.

Hey all, This is my first post. Sorry for any mistakes. My question is, how do I separate my anxiety's from God's warnings? I experience an anxiety disorder and sometimes its hard for me to tell if i am experiencing anxiety or if i'm experiencing anxiety because of something God is telling me. It's very confusing and depressing as I can't always separate God's voice from my troubled thoughts...how do I know the difference?

I I don’t no what to do I whant it across home in the road and build a bridge over it but it’s hard I’ve tried to tell my lie I’ve done horrible if I right that wrong do I have to tell my lie to my family I no what I’ve done and fear has no place in the heart of gods people but it is overflowing with that burden of hiding everything and I don’t no what to do I go everyday of my life like this it’s become natural and that’s not good to live like that thank you for help I’m really just wanna right my wrongs but I don’t wanna make my family mad after all they have done for me thanks for the help all

I keep having problems at work people are calling me uglee. I want friend not people who are going to make fun of me. I am looking for other jobs because of it. I do word searches to ignor people who are really rude to me.

Hello . My name is Elissa, I am 50 yrs old. I live in New Jersey. I am desperate and at the end of my rope. I have Multiple Sclerosis. In 1999, when all of my children were old enough to start school, I went to work full time. I worked at the school that my children attended. I worked with disabled children. My MS was not too severe at that time. In 2010, my health started to decline, and I was not able to continue working. I can’t put into words how much I LOVED the children and my job. I battle with depression because I feel so worthless and nonproductive because I am not the mother, wife, and person that I used to be. I’m now on permanent disability. The loss of my income was very hard on us. My husband has a good job, but my income paid the mortgage. I tried over and over again to get a loan modification to lower my mortgage payments. I also was denied three times for disability, and then was finally approved after I hired a lawyer. Trying to get a loan modification was a nonstop roller coaster. After sending in the same paperwork over seven times, and a different case managers on my file every other week, my loan being sold to another company, not receiving documents that I was told were sent to me, and being given incorrect phone numbers or email to contact people, my home ended up selling at sheriff sale back to the mortgage company. I have tried over and over again for months, to try and speak to the correct person so I can buy back or rent my home. No one who is actually in charge will speak to me. I get told basically by the receptionist that the answer is no. With everything that has gone on with trying to get the loan modification, I have not made payments towards the house in a long time. They would not except any payments from me while I was in the process of trying to get a modification. Our credit is absolutely horrible now. I do not have a large sum for a down payment. In the past years I have spent large amounts of money other things that were necessary. We had a new septic system installed, which cost $25,000 last April, college tuition for my children, and out-of-pocket money for medications for MS that were not covered by our insurance , but are now, thank God! Also, my neurologist in New York city does not except any insurance, so all appointments are paid out of pocket and are very expensive. I go to the TSCH MS Research Center in New York. I am not asking for a handout or anything. Like I said, my husband works and I am on disability. We can afford a mortgage or rent payment of $1600 a month. The mortgage company is only going to make repairs and put my home up for sale. We moved in here in 1997. I raised my 3 sons in this house. They are going to evict me on February 28th. I have always taking care of the finances. My family does not even know how bad it has gotten. I’m so ashamed. I am so stressed out . I’m falling apart mentally and physically. Right now I have a fractured rib. I have osteoporosis, which I got from receiving IV steroids over the past 20 years each time I would have an MS exacerbation. I can’t even sleep. Please, please, please, help me!I am desperate!!! I am a nobody, and the mortgage company will not even consider talking to me. Does anyone possibly know someone that could help me, possibly a celebrity or something? If someone important or famous were to call and ask to stop the eviction and let me stay in my home, and somehow buy the house back, I know they would definitely listen. It’s so wrong of me to have the nerve to write this message. But I need help so bad! Please. I’m begging you. Can you help me please? I’m running out of time. I don’t even have anywhere planned to go when they evict us. Please, can you help me?? Please help me get out of this nightmare. I’m on new medicine for MS. It’s called Ocrevus. I know without this worrying and stress, my body would be getting better. Please help me. I am saved . I was raised Catholic, but never truly accepted Jesus into my heart. In 2005 my oldest son was a freshman in high school and he joined a youth group. Through my son, I know God was calling me back to him. I was born again November 2005. Praise God!Jesus is my Lord and Savior. Please help me. I will pay it forward, I promise. I know that is what God has planned for me. It is only by His Grace that I live to do everything in my life for His glory. Please help me.

The past few days have been a bunch of small things that can easily have been fixed. my husband refuses to talk about things and it is like pulling teeth to get any of his feelings out of him. I told him i need him to communicate things with me so we can both work on things together. he thinks im trying to change him and that's just "how he is." which i explained is not true. it's a behavior things. how can we work on this? he went to bed still angry at me. I know in the Bible it talks about if someone becomes angry do not go to bed angry. So it really hurt me that he did. He's told me before that he just likes to be angry sometimes and he can't just get over it even after the problem has been dealt with. Please pray for our relationship. We just got married this December.

To set the backdrop. Having some serious problems in my marriage. I've been married for 15 years. We came into this marriage with children. I had one and my wife two. A year ago this may our 2nd to oldest child fell off of a cliff and almost died. He is now paralyzed from the waist down and that has been a huge heart ache for all of us. We had many problems with him before his accident, he ran away when he was 17 and was having serious issues with porn. He had been getting into drugs as well (and still is). We have been absolutely grieved by all this, trying to support him and encourage him towards the Lord as much as we can. It has been overwhelming. We are hopeful now things are going better. We also have 7 other kids, for a total of 10. 8 still live at home. This last fall my view on what all happened. This last fall, to put it bluntly my wife was unfaithful. She was in a romantic relationship with a man from the hospital that Noah was staying at when he had sepsis. The relationship did not turn physical before it was found out but it was very romantic in nature. When I originally addressed it she lied to me. She later admitted when I confronted her with more knowledge. It wasn’t a very long relationship; 6 days is all; but please know that we are months out now and hardly a week goes by (often more like day) that I am not weeping over it. My wife is largely ignorant of much she killed me. I’ve realized that I put my trust in something empty. I do love her, more than life; however, as we have moved on I’m realizing more and more that this relationship is based on my suffering. After everything came out I was absolutely crushed. I mean nothing to live for, emotional type crushed. I hardly had a reason to go on it seemed. We started working on things, and had an overnight without kids and had great talks and since have just went on. She largly doesn’t want to talk about it at all to the point she has threatened with “if you can’t get over this maybe we just won’t work out” when talking about it has started. Her point was well taken and we haven’t talked about it. What this shows me is what I have been shown many times through both actions and words, that she truly doesn’t love me. She loves that I do things for her and treat her well, leave love notes, buy flowers, rub her back and feet but she has no true sacrificial love for me. Maybe this is just my thoughts and not reality but there are certainly days that I look back and ask myself why was I the one picking up the broken pieces of our relationship and not her when it was me that she crushed? Is this what marriage looks like? Certainly, Christ suffered for his bride. I just pray that it doesn’t stay this way. There is a U2 song that says ‘I can’t live, with or without you’. That is so how I feel. This hurts so much, but I love her and still want her and would give my life for her. I really need some godly advice. I am not in need of sympathizers. Her view on this. She says I’m too jealous which make me fearful. She says it’s because of past relationship that my ex committed adultery. She says in general terms that I’ve always been overly jealous but when it comes down to it and we talk about it there are number of things I was jealous over that anyone would be ie.. going to ex boyfriends houses while I’m at work, having ex boyfriends come to our house also while I’m at work. I don’t think anything happened but come on. I would never do that to her. Call me crazy but I don’t think this is over jealous at all. Over the past year, since Noah fell there have been two more instances that she brings up. She brings them up out of context and only talks about my being upset about it. The first is over a young man that was at the hospital while Noah was there. She was staying up at the hospital. She introduced to him (Henry) to me. Nothing to weird. I was a little thrown off by their reaction to me. She was telling me how great he and another man up there were. She went into their room to talk, as she had been doing and when I came in it got weird. They were so awkward around me. Red flag, but not on her part. It just showed me where these guys where coming from towards my wife. A couple weeks down the road I am reading texts from him to my wife and there is a missing flow to the conversation. I asked her about it and she was honest with me and said that Henry had made a pass at her. She said he crossed the line and let me start talking with him. Everything is still fine, however at this point she is being very distant to me both emotionally and sexually. She had also recently started wearing more revealing clothing. This is where we had a fight. I connected the dots, and accused her of not being interested in me but revealing herself to other in her dress. My point is it was a singular thing. I’ve since apologized. I don’t want to tear her down and I think that is the way she feels. There was also another case that also is out of context when told by her. The part she brings up is me accusing her of trying to impress a guy at church. To put it into context. This was a week that we were away with Noah for therapy for him. During the week several times she commented she thinks I look sloppy. She didn’t like the way I dressed. She complained that I look like a hunchback as well several times. I’m not bragging but I am a very handsome and fairly fit man. I do (or did) have plenty of confidence in myself. Just the same, comments like these from her really sting. From someone else I might even laugh. Not from her though. I think the world of her and wish she did of me too. During this time we went to church twice. The first time there were two young men that sat down from us that came up and said hi at the beginning of the service. Later my wife comments on how manly and cool they are. Ouch, I’m sloppy and hunchback and they are manly and cool. Love you too hun. The next visit to this church we pick a seat and a few minutes later one of these two guys comes and sits down the row from us. At that point, my wife starts shaking her hips during the song. Later is where I did accuse her of trying to impress this guy. I’ve also since apologized sincerely with tears for both. I do give of myself and want to build her up. Going on I’m only telling these stories because they are what she has been claiming are the reasons she pursued the romantic relationship with this other man. Is this my fault? Do I deserve this? I have always been a loving husband. I don’t forget birthdays, anniversaries etc. I show her a care deeply. I take as much load on myself as I can. I sleep hours less, take care of kids whenever I can, cook for her, and I mean cook well for her. I’m all about doing something special for my wife. My kids are a huge witness to this and talk about it. I love and have loved my wife. I’m not at all claiming i did it perfectly. I’ve been grumpy and all that, but I love my wife and show it. I love her more and more I as the years go on. I’m learning about what it looks like to love more and more. There have been shaky years in the past as well. She had some sort of depression after the birth of our last son. It was pretty much a year of in bed until noon at which time breakfast was brought to her as much as possible. I was running my own company from home at that time and would work a 20 hour day or two a week and have another in office(at home) day so it was a blessing from God on the timing for sure so I could help more. It was a tough year I was watching kids, running a new business, building our house and trying to keep our marriage going. ‘I hate you and I want a divorce’ were said so regularly that I couldn’t tell you how many times I heard them. I know she was having a tough time but that hurt. It still does. I still think of those words particularly when we fight. I was giving my all. I want our marriage to work out but I have no idea how to make it work. There is still a big issue of modesty. I don’t have a lot of trust for her, which I know is necessary in a good relationship. I am always telling her and showing her how attracted I am to her. It seems that’s not enough. Please any advice someone might have in steering this marriage back aright would be so appreciated.

UPDATED: I have been trying to research. And I have been praying for clarity. And maybe it will just take time for me to understand what I need to understand. When I became a Christian again after a very long hiatus. Like over 25 years! I learned more about the 7 gifts. (I had a pentecostal friend that told me of them in passing before I rededicated). Anyhow, I never asked for any in great depth, but said in passing in prayer I really would love to heal people for him. I never pushed though, because quite frankly, I didn't want God to give me something I wasn't prepared for instead of what I asked. HA! But last night while I was praying I was telling him whatever his will was regarding a situation I would understand. Well, in the middle of the night I was woken up, and I was very awake. Very aware I was awake, and worried I would miss my appointment at hospital in morning if I couldn't get back to sleep, type of awake. Well I had a vision! *sigh* It was extremely intense. And I realized he was showing me something really important. ( not sure I should go into it unless I understand things first. Unless I should for helps sake?) Cross that bridge later in this? But now I am trying to discern and pray for a little bit of understanding. And Test the spirits comes to mind. But when I was calling out heavenly Father the vision over and over, it did not go away. (Even when I walked away I still called out his name in fear of spiritual things and whatever was tormenting me so to speak, it would go away immediately. Not during this vision. So, I am thinking it definitely from the Heavenly Father. It was about spiritual warfare that I know. I'm not sure if about me (I'm leaning toward no) or it about things coming and glimpse of what's really going on in (war in heaven) coming here. It seemed metaphorical in some parts and literal in others parts. I am so confused. For those that have this gift... What can you advise? How do you know to interpret? How do you test the spirits? I mean technically this could be the enemy coming to confuse me. I could not shake the feeling it gave me all day. And I realized if indeed this was his plan all along all those years ago... And that is my gift I will take it. And I realized I don't mind. (not that I'd really have a choice if i said I'd follow his will not mine). I find it odd timing. Also please understand this.. When I pray and pour my heart out.. I do it in my head. My eyes are closed. The reason I do this is because I am very aware how the enemy works and if he hears me, or sees my actions or emotions, he knows how to try to prevent me easily knowing how to mess with me. So now.. this gift. Or is it? When do I know to share them? How do I know it really is a gift and not deception from other end? Just how exactly do I "test" the spirits? When do I share these things I'm shown? I started a blog a bit ago, so I can help other people understand the much deeper picture. And I thought also.. great timing... I put it off awhile and then I realized I was pushed to do it. So I guess this "gift" if real will be shared there as well, if and when I get to understand better if indeed real gift. Am I allowed to ask for other gifts???? I really still want to heal people. Including a healing over here would be great. lol Hard to do as much as I need and want when barely functioning. OK Thanks in advance for any input! :-) A little history: When I was a very young I was very sick. In hospital a lot since a baby. But around 3 I started to see things and for some reason I calmed down when I saw something in my room in corner just standing there. I knew it was there to protect me, yet it still made me a little fearful. I had other experiences. But I was not born to Chrsitian family, so had no clue. They didn't go to church until I was older. I became a christian when I was early teens. After I left home I had visions off and on. And were never wrong. Even though I wasn't Christian anymore, I still "believed" somewhat and had in back of my head. But I ended up praying and asking he take this away from me. (I never actually knew about Christian prophecy per say, and thought it was only in bible times. ) And I walked away so that would not have done anything for me or him. The ability to see was taken away as I asked. I was relieved!

I'm in sin with a woman at work who is a believer. I'm not in love with her. Its gotten worse. I quit church I was in the pulpit but I don't like the leadership that much and the denomination. The rules. My life is a mess I'm drowning or have already drowned. I need help.

I feel like I need to ask people for forgiveness, but I don't know what for. Meaning, I don't remember what I've done. I remember calling my sister names, but should I ask for forgiveness 10 years later? I've recently accepted Jesus Christ as my master and the savior who gave his life, that I may keep mine. I've always been loyal to my parents an honor them. But recently my uncle an elder of the church, said before I get married, I have to ask parents for forgiveness. But for what? I've asked and cried for forgiveness Contemplatively(In my mind), after accepting Jesus. I felt deep guilt and wept. I'm not a vocal person, but see myself as a mind/thinker rather. So when I sing, I sing in my heart and pray in my heart, all throughout the day. Not because I feel I have to, but because I want to. My singing voice is absolutely garbage, and it annoys even me to hear it. Even talking I annoy myself. God probably doesn't want to hear a scratchy, out of tune voice praising him. I know I can do it better in my spirit. So I may as well give a bit of a testimony: I grew up in a strict Christian family. Which made me hate church and everything to do with it. Forced to go 5 times a week, 2 hours a service. I've always kept to myself, with a tough guy attitude, but inwardly loving. Always straight face, rare emotion display. I wasn't allowed to any non-Christian friends, so most of my child/young adulthood I was alone with my thoughts. No t.v., games, etc. But after I moved out and turned to the sinful world, is when I felt free, and when I started slowly turning back. Not to Christianity right away. I gathered my spiritual thoughts about the world. I was mildly into meditation, philosophy, astral projection, etc. The typical nature-freak stuff. However up until about a week ago, at work I started listening to a Bible audiobook. I have 8 hours of spare time to listen, and after being bored of music and everything else. I finally decided to give the Bible a go. Which opened my eyes. I've read the Bible before, but never like this. I realized who Jesus was, and how amazing his gift was. My change wasn't immediate. I didn't jump up and shout, "I believe in you Jesus". But over a few days, reading each Biblical book, one after the other. I found myself believing. In my heart I genuinely said, I believe in you Jesus, you are my savior. Multiple times I repeated it in my mind(next paragraph I'll try to describe why and how my mind works). After that over the next few days, I asked for for the holy spirit. I begged for it, saying I need it God. For the past week, since I've been saved. I have not gone a day without shedding a tear. I'll listen to worship music, and I'll let my tears flow. I'll think about Jesus dying on the cross; I'll weep heavily. Last night, I wept the most when I cried to Jesus begging for forgiveness. I can barely write all of this without weeping as I am now. Listening to music and crying, I feel peace, and I want to cry more. Crying for repentance, it hurts my heart. My heart hurts now I as I write. Today for 24 hours I dedicated my time to a fasting. No water, no food, only air(and the word of God). I dedicated this fasting to forgiveness. Forgiveness of my sins, and others. I bow, pray and ask for signs and forgiveness. But recently I've watched a video, where I realized the smallest sin will earn me the lake of fire. I want to make sure my soul is clean and pure. But I doubt, because I feel I need to ask forgiveness of others. But I don't know for what. Should I ask even if for nothing? Or have those sins been washed away? I have forgiven everyone (as far as I 'know' ). I feel like I have the Holy spirit, yet I doubt. I've never been this open-hearted. I've had a few 'mild-signs' over the past week. Those being, my body felt like it froze up for a few seconds, while I wept listening to praise music. Another time, my right hand was on my heart, while I laid in bed and wept for forgiveness. After about 15 minutes into my prayer, my hand went numb. Only the part of my hand that was on my heart. My other hand was on my stomach, almost equal position, so I don't see it being cutoff circulation. I get chills/bumps, not from being cold, but while listening to music usually or something spiritual related. After which tear up. My mind is dangerous and deep. Dangerous I say, because I feel I can think too deeply. Which can be a blessing and a curse. It makes people less humble and innocent. Which is making repentance extra hard for me. My mind thinks on multiple levels at once. This is hard to explain. Not multi-tasking, but very deep, all thoughts in my mind at once-comprehension. A probable contribution from being raised as a thinker. I believe it's partially aware-subconscious thought, interwoven with regular conscious. Meaning I think equally with my subconscious and conscious. Even as I write this now, I question myself and try to think really deep, to make sure none of what I write here is out of pride. I sometimes feel I have sins in my heart that don't even have a name, or exist outside of my mind. Just being the way my mind works. I feel like I sin, and I don't know what to ask for forgiveness, as I don't know the name for the sin. I wish I was simple minded. This is a lot, I vented half way through, but I hope someone has some encouraging words. If not, hopefully my testimony opens someones eyes. May God bless all of your spirits.

Hi brothers and sisters in Christ. Shalom! Please pray for my brother in law. He was in an accident about a week ago - he was in the woods working and huge rocks fell on him - injured his shoulder and from x-ray doctor said his skull cracked, he was in and out of coma and was vomiting blood. Now one side of his eye unable to see. He is the breadwinner of his small family and father to one young daugther. They are struggling financially already before this and now things are worse. I have helped set up funding page hope donation to channel to all his medical and recovery expenses. Would you please pray for him and his family. And if you have find in your heart to donate, please click the fund page link below. Thank you so much and God bless you. Please help to share, even a small donation would means the world to them. Thank you!!!

Hello. Where can i download TRADITIONAL hymns and Christmas songs? ie: none of this "rock music" type nonsense, just nice songs. Songs like, Amazing Grace, The First Noel, Are you washed in the blood, etc?

Hi my friend and I are making a project for school, about God. we have made a series of questions (about 8). we ask people to answer them and we record them as videos. if you want to help us with this project and share your opinions with other kids(and help them find their way), please contact me. thank you.

I am a junior in high school and am on the way to getting my associates even before my diploma, I play wing on my soccer team, am the debate captain at my school, and I have my whole life ahead of me, but I am very scared. As a child I was always a good Christian kid, and I never enacted in smoking or drinking, but I quickly became addicted to porn, and cursing and I want to repent so bad because of the way the world is looking, I miss going to bed every night and feeling content with my life, what should I do and how do I repent and turn my life back to God?

Ok so whether you think so or not you need help. It doesn't matter if your going through a great time in your life, that's when you need help the most, trust me I know from experience.

God Heals at the Gas Station! (Testimony) God loves to work with His children everywhere! Here is a testimony of just that; God working through His faithful servant to heal a man who was clearly in great pain at a GAS STATION of all places! How cool is that?! God is awesome! God bless you all, in Jesus' mighty name!

my friend is not saved and she is pregnant Her mother is a Christian as well as the father The daughter has decided not to have the baby and is going to planned parenting to take the pill The daughter wants the mother to give her a ride but the father says no The mother knows that abortion is murder She is not judging her daughter Both parents have told her truth What should the mother do ?

IN 4 months i went from being a complete christian to a terrified man desperate for peace. My mind, my body, my well being and i'm even afraid to say soul and spirit because i'm afraid to even admit that has even been touched out of being ashamed that it has been put into jeopardy by my own sinful behavior that i need help. The devil has been trying to take credit for all of God's good work that he has ever done in me and repeat it so he can receive credit for it and i need help. I'm trying to God and be with Him and the more i struggle the more pain I feel. I know GOD, I know JESUS, I know the LORD, and We have had an amazing relationship not more or less than anyone else. But i need help. I've been convinced that i was going to be used by the devil or God and that at this moment no matter what i do the devil is using me. I confess in my ignorance and selfishness i have struggled with forgiveness and blaspheming to thee point where it has destroyed my life physically and mentally. Yet i try to be free of it and it get's worse and worse. So i ask is it too late for me. I just admitted to my sins last night and tried to beg for forgiveness but all i saw was a black figure over me blocking my prayer. I even tried to reach past it but feeling like it wouldn't work. I feel everything I've been doing from church service to prayer has been rerouted to the devil in my mind and i want it to stop. I need Jesus and i want release from this but i don't even know how to start. I have therapy and a loving family and supportive church but i feel like I've been corrupting or bringing down those people because every time i feel a breakthrough i get skeptical and doubtful all the way to the point where i even make a big deal out of emotions. I feel like i'm being convinced to be satanic. I try to turn away from it but i seem to get the most resistance there. I want to turn to God but i feel like His Word is saying it's too late. I don't want it to be true. Is it too late for me to turn back. So far only fear anger and stress and anxiety have been what get's me to move. And my delay seems to be my down fall even trying to post this i had like 5 interruptions and my thoughts fear 6's and upside down crosses and every time i release my pain i have doubts about where my pain is going and who is using me. Something good will happen, i'll feel relief and then i'll get bombarded all over again. PRAYER ADVICE FREEDOM PUT YOUR ARMOR ON PLEASE. HELP ME.

When I'm lonely I always go to God! But as a human we need other humans to interact with. I come from a background where I was shut off from the real word! Now I'm trying to become a better person but I find it a little bit displeasing! Why do I say that? Because I feel like I have no "friends" and I especially have no one to talk to! Right now the only person I can talk to is in jail(my boyfriend). And I just feel like I'm becoming worse everyday! When I get angry (which is everyday ) I use the tongue of the devil! I just want to overcome this and know where and how to start ! Any and every advice is welcomed, I really appreciate it.

Hello, First of all I want to say hi I am new at the forum. I really need advice and help from other Christians in a situation that's been a problem for me since I was a little girl. I'll try to make this post as short as possible. I've always had problems with my mom. She has always been very immature and irresponsible. I remember being 5 years old and thinking about how immature she was when she had tantrums against my grandmother, who practically raised me. My parents were both teenagers, but my dad has always been more responsible. My mom wanted to "live life" and enjoy youth so it was my dad and mostly my grandma who took care of me. During this time my mom was very irresponsible and had a lot of boyfriends..one of this relationships resulting in a pregnancy and we never saw the dad again, we live in a small town, so it was scandalous. My mom and I lived with my grandmother until I was 5 when my mom remarried and my stepdad took my brother as his. I was physically hurt by both my mom and stepfather, my stepdad used to hurt me a lot emotionally I still struggle with those things. Until my teenage years I was an excellent student, I earned a lot of awards and my mom was never there, she became addicted to her job, she left the house before 6am and got home after 10pm. During all this time I was very active at church and even a leader at teenager spiritual retreats. What I mean is, that instead of going rebel I became model child. This didn't stop my mom beating me for me getting a B or just being mad and me thinking it was unfair. I went back to live with my grandma. During all this time my mom kept on having more children... none of which she made the time for. She has never been maternal,still she kept on having more and more kids. For all my life I've always been closer to boys than girls. A therapist told me it was because of my relationship with my mother I didn't trust women. I saw women being promiscuous and emotionally hurting my male cousins and it gave me emotional breakdowns, I wondered if I was the only woman on Earth to not be a bad person or use my body and sex to manipulate others. It still gets me nervous to see girls showing skin on social network. At age 20 I moved with my boyfriend who had also been one of my closest friends since I was 14. We weren't married since he was an atheist and I stopped going to church. We had a lot of problems and he didn't want to go to couple counseling or anything else. We also had a son during this time. Thank God, in 2013 and my then boyfriend now husband accepted Jesus as his savior and is now an amazing man and leader at our Church. He loves to serve God and other through our Church. We got married. I have been blessed. Still... my husband's conversion to Christianity came along with the confession of things I didn't yet know that he did through our relationship. Like him talking to other women on social media during years... one of which he had sex with. Even though my husband has done everything a woman could ask to rebuilt the relationship, I know I will never fully heal, and this made my feelings against promiscuous women a lot worse. Do not get me wrong, I know it was my husband who failed me, but since I had the repulsion for seek attention, promiscuous women... and then seeing the woman... that was it. As I said, I just cant stand the look of a woman showing her bodyon social media , offering themselves and trying to get married men, etc. It was my mom all over again. I now link these women to that woman my husband had an affair with and my mom. About 5 years ago my mom and I seemed to fix our relationship. My stepdad and my mom were going to Church and both were leaders there also. Late last year my stepdad and mom separated. And ever since my mom is back into her old ways. So far she's been with at least 4 men that we know of and is neglecting my brothers. She even asked for my approval for this behavior !!!! I replied with an extense and loving letter telling her to do things right, and telling her how much her behavior had hurt me to this day and that I don;t want my brothers to suffer the same... she never even replied. Not even "ok". She just kept on doing it. My brothers are hurting and are starting to hate her. She comments on my social media pictures saying that i look ugly or that i look like a man.... she makes fun of me all the time about EVERYTHING.... just like an immature teenager. I have nightmares all the time and spend all my evenings crying over my husband's shoulder. So recent as this morning she showed me pictures of yet another guy who my grandma know to be a married man. I had a breakdown today and I talked very nasty against my mom. Not to her directly but other people.I said the most terrible things about her and finally said out loud that I hated her.... I don't know what to do. I know I am not being a good Christian and that I am supposed to honor my mother and father.... but then.... does this mean that my mom can do all kinds of sins and then just ask for forgiveness and God will take her back... but God will not take me because of the terrible things I feel against my mom??? Will I not be saved because of the hurt other people has caused me ?? I've had therapy, they do help, but nothing heals. I KNOW it will never heal. I wish it wasn't so, but is reality I just know myself. I am afraid for my relationship with my mom... I know it wont belong until i have a breakdown every time I see her, it is as if this whole situation activated the way I felt with her when I was very young. I am afraid for my relationship with God... I know God is not proud of my words thoughts and feelings against her. What do I do !? Please help. Thank you.

Hello I posted this a few weeks ago but I was ignorant about where the proper place to post it was so I hope this is more apt. I hope someone on here can help me. In June I was diagnosed with an incurable disease and it has basically devastated every part of my life. I have put my life on pause for now as I am on a spiritual journey. My past consists of a very spirit filled family but much tragedy. My family used to consist of a pretty good number of people but because of disease many people died far too early. All of these tragedies happened before I was born but all of the miraculous events also happened before I was born. So the faith I have always had was more like "belief." Which consisted of the basics. Fast forward 25 years, I myself am a chemical engineer, so when I found out I was sick I intially turned to my mind and exhausted every possible option that mankind has to offer which left me back at square 1. I figured I was like the story of the guy who gets lost at sea and prays to God to save him, while a boat and a kayak come up to pull the guy out of the water, he says no no God will save me, he drowns, asks God why he didn't save him and God says, I tried. So I turned to God in September which was in the midst of what can only be described as the worst depression that you can imagine. I lost 30 pounds in a matter of a couple weeks, wasnt eating, was so anxious I couldnt sleep for days, I would pace like a lion at home, constant racing thoughts and I was so suicidal I thought of myself as too worthless to even kill myself, all I would be is a further burden. Fast forward a bit, saw a counselor which helped and started to meet with multiple religious figures and spiritual learders weekly. So I went further into it (faith). My prayer life started to increase and things, coincidences, which I hear don't exist with people of faith, started to happen regularly. Thankfully my family has ties to many still living spiritual people, one in particular, prayed for me and in the middle busted out in tongues which I had never experienced or heard before and he was the only person I had a physical manifestation from after his prayer, 5 or 6 surges, kind of like goosbumps, but very quickly all in a row. I had further medical testing done which could not pick up the previously detected disease, however still left room for error. I took to scripture as I did science, reading and researching, studying all I could. After enough preparation I performed a self-deliverance which rid me of all the voices and constant thoughts in my head. Which I was told sounds like a successful deliverance. I prayed, almost constantly, almost every waking moment of the day I was praying or studying scripture. "Things" really started to happen (which if anyone cares to know I'll post as a response I have a directive for right now). I had joined a bible study group and they had been pushing me to be baptized for weeks and weeks. I was resistant, I was still somewhat suicidal, and when I make a commitment to something as big as baptism I don't quit, and my battle wasnt that I could quit on God, but quit on life. I also wanted it to be genuine, I didn't want to feel like I was using God to get something, which I really was all in all, but I didnt want it to feel thag way. I eventually was baptized in late Oct/early Nov. I started to research about the gifts of the holy spirit, a hot topic I soon learned, not something openly talked about. I wanted these gifts, I coveted them. Not because I wanted more from God but because, - Im not acquainted with any of you but if you have ever had something happen to you that no one can do anything about, where divine intervantion is your only option, and don't say your grandma or even your kid was sick yadda yadda, I know these things are sad, but there js something different when it happens to you, something innately different. This caused me to change, my whole perspective on life, you appreciate anything and everything, I havent driven in my car with the music on in 6 months, so I can look outside, feel and smell the air, your desires, aspirations, goals, and dreams all change - but because I wanted to help people. My family had two miracles happen, both to people who sadly died of other things not too long after, but both were miraculously healed of things with no medical expliantion. I not only wanted to be healed but I wanted to spread the love and the possibilities and the power that is God. Just before thanksgiving I began speaking in tongues, so for all you doubters, its real, its not fake, and I have even recorded and looked up some phrases that I noticed I kept repeating, and they turned out to be real words in other languages. These languages changed, from Italian all the way to Japanese. Mind you all I speak is a little bit if German, and fluent English and pig latin....ha. I was practicing this daily, yes you can voluntarily do it, its some not power that takes over your body, I would do it and shortly after I would be exhausted no matter what time it was and I would have vivid dreams if I spoke in tongues before I fell asleep. For me to remember my dreams was highly unusual. Then I started to do it less and almost not at all last week. Then last Friday I decided to do it right before I went to sleep, I didnt do it for very long, just something quick and I ended up having the most intense dream I have ever had. A dream within a dream, which I have never had before, and it had the D....the devil in it. (A pretty detailed summary of that I also have if you're interested and I would be interested especially if someone on here has the ability to interpret dreams). So now what I wrote all of this for, I am looking for a legitimate, credible, person with the gift of healing. Not exactly found in the yellow pages. Don't direct me to any of these televangelists, Binny Hinn, and all his wannabees. These people are frauds, Matthew 10:8 "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give." Jesus was humble, he didn't broadcast his abilities, his apostles did, the believers did, and he didn't turn anyone away. I have found some in my couple months of searching. These are people you won't find on TV or on the news or in a legal investigation. These are humble quiet people in regular houses with no microphones, no radio stations, and lead the average life. The man who prayed over me believes he has the gift of healing. I found an elderly woman who has documented healings near me. I also found out about a lutheran pastor on the East coast after pulling my own pastor's teeth if he knew someone, apparently he knows another but this guy's job could be injeopardy if it got out. Apparently much of the modern church is against people being relieved of suffering at the hand of those blessed with spreading the work of God. I live in the Chicago suburbs, so in that general area would be nice, but this isnt just finding a good pizza place, this is to ascertain a miracle, I'll go anywhere. If you would need to contact me perosnally we can figure that out, not sure how lol, but I don't intend on having anyone's name blasted out who prefers privacy. Thank you for your time, this platform, and your help. God bless.