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  1. 1. My Life Before Christ Before I found my true love, Jesus Christ, I was full of lust and perversion, proud, sadistic, angry, vengeful, argumentative, disrespectful to my family, manipulative, self-hating, apathetic towards life, anxious, God-hating, brute, depressed, black metal loving, Christian hating, evolutionist, Jesus Christ denying Satanist. To give a quick back story, when I was 11, I had an experience with an entity. At the age of 13, I became obsessed with aliens and UFOs to the point I sought contact. After succeeding, I had several disturbing experiences with what I now know to be demons; I thought they were aliens at the time. At the age of 14, I learned about Tarot, and got my first deck at 15. It was at that point I got into "New Age", experimenting with channeling, believing I was an indigo child. At the age of 17, I left the "New Age" and ventured into Vampyrism. Half a year later, I delved into Crowley and briefly looked into Satanism. Near the end of my 17th year, I decided I'd become a LaVeyan Satanist when I was 18; the age I considered myself a legal adult. Six months into my eighteenth year, I became a Theistic Satanist. I stayed in that for a number of years, branching off into generic dark occultism, then to Atheism, and finally as a result of several supernatural experiences to Theistic Luciferianism. During this time, I experienced numerous nightmarish manifestations. However, I was too blinded by pride, stubbornness, and a lust for power and knowledge to care of the end road. I knew I was going to Hell, I knew Hell was real, I knew Satan hated me, and I even went so far as to tell God Himself to scrape off my name from the Lamb's Book of Life. Towards the end, I began building a Luciferian order, gathering members, building doctrine, and so on. It was at this point that I knew I was far beyond the point of no return. 2. How I Came to Jesus Christ God saw it fit to take the things I was obsessed over, the things I worshiped, and shatter them so completely, I could never pick up the pieces. Everything I believed in, He destroyed. Everything I loved and which I would escape into, He obliterated. Nothing remained. At the time, I didn't know God was responsible for doing this and ended up lost in a two-week long depression of the likes I had never experienced before. I literally cried when I would look up at the sky, so I kept my eyes to the ground, secluding myself in the darkness of my room as much as I was able. Once the depression turned into a tolerable numbness, I told Satan I had no interest in lying about things anymore for him. I told him I was simply, "done" with all the deception and didn't care that I was breaking my oath and my contract, nor of the consequences of doing so; I was fully prepared to lose everything. With that, I walked away from Luciferianism, deciding that while I was still going to Hell, I could at least do some good in the world. I felt so hopeless, so confused, and so lost, though I knew not to expect forgiveness from God, though I apologized to Him anyways, leaving it at that. I took everything occult I owned, shoved it in a bag, and to the landfill it went. I deleted all my files, destroyed my organization, renounced everything from my past, and moved on. One week later, despite how unworthy and disgusting I felt about who I was and what I had done, I repented fully to God. Two weeks from that point, when I was still 33 years old, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I prayed that I would come to know and love Him. 3. My Life With Christ The lord has transformed me. Where I was full of lust and perversion, The Lord has caused disgust and nausea to well in me at the very thought of my prior perversions. Where I once championed pride, The Lord has brought me down to show me humility. Where I was once sadistic, The Lord has shown me mercy and compassion. Where I was angry, The Lord has shown me joy. Where I was vengeful, The Lord has made me detest vengeance. Where I was argumentative, The Lord has been teaching me patience and longsuffering. Where I was disrespectful to my family and elders, The Lord has blessed me, healing the wounds I caused, teaching me respect and patience. Where I was manipulative, The Lord has shown me service. Where I was self-hating, The Lord has shown me that I'm made in His Mighty Image. Where I was apathetic towards life and nature, The Lord has shown me the beauty of both, for He made it all. Where I was God-hating and unloving, The Lord has planted and watered a seed which is growing into love. Where I was brute, The Lord has shown me grace. Where I was depressed, The Lord has showered me with peace. Where I was confused, The Lord has shown me knowledge and has lit my way. Where I loved chaotic music, The Lord has turned me to harmony. Where I hated Christians and sought to divide them, The Lord has converted my heart, blessing me with a need to bring unity. Where I was an evolutionist, The Lord showed me the truth of Creation. Where I denied Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ has redeemed me. Where I was a Satanist, destined for Hell, Jesus Christ brought me to the wonderful and precious knowledge of His saving Grace. Praise His Mighty Name! Thank you, Jesus, for showing me that even as far as I fell, You were there, always, and you never stopped loving me. For the unbelievers reading this, know that Jesus Christ is real and so is His Power and Authority. Know that He can save you as He saved me if only you ask Him. Know that He can transform your life and give you real purpose, real love, and real knowledge if only you will turn to Him.
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