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  1. Hello friends, I decided to at least write in some forum and ask for help/guidance. Here's my situation, I'm not looking for pity or being shamed, I just want to share my story and maybe some of you guys has an idea what I could do/pray for, or something like that: I'm a man, 33 years old. Married since 5 years. About 2-3 years ago I was working a good job and doing education on the side so I could continue working in the field. Short version: I failed my studies and had to change my field of work. I took it pretty hard because the circumstances were messy and I was doing very well in my job - only the grades were an issue. Anyway I was a mess for a while but I knew God had a path for me. During that time my wife, who was dealing with depression earlier in her life, started developing an eating disorder. When we realized it was time to do something about it was already pretty severe. I prayed for her and I tried anything to help her anyway I could, encourage her, help her make plans on how to eat enough, went to therapy with her etc. But nothing really helped. She played her therapists, she lied to me and to herself. And after ~2years of ED (eating disorder) in our lives, it started to take a heavy toll on our relationship (I'm not blaming her btw, it's the sickness that's causing this). I tried to lecture her, she started to tell me things that were not true etc. She temporarily lost her fertility (body shuts down reproductive systems when there is not enough food) and with it, the rest of what was left in terms of sexual desire (we don't have kids!). And me, as a guy who enjoys the more chubby kind of females had a real hard time finding her anorexic body attractive. About 3 months ago she finally decided it's time to go to a rehab clinic to really concentrate on getting better. The fact that she wanted to do that of her own volition, was like a miracle. All was looking well for a while. But she's on break now from the clinic and it seems to me like nothing really changed. She didn't really gain weight and she still has her eating habits. Anyway. I mentioned I have a new job now and I'm teaching on the side. My life apart from my wife is amazing right now! BUT. I met this woman in a seminar, also married - getting neglected and hit by her husband (human beings are messed up I tell you...), and we immediately clicked and felt connected. We had amazing talks and it was a "healing experience" for both of us, I'm 100% certain that God made us run into each other. But now I'm afraid we're getting almost too close... yay... :/ I believe what we've been doing is called an "emotional affair" (having an affair without the physical component). Well, we just met this evening before I started writing this and after talking for a while we started comforting each other and finally went to the couch and just held each other in embrace for over an hour. Nothing sexual, no kissing or anything - just intense hugging and a little crying. I have to be honest, it was the most wonderful, blissful experience I had in almost all my life. After a while I started shaking all over my body because of all the happy hormones and that feeling of being loved and sheltered... Now I have no idea what to do. I don't want to leave my wife. I don't want to have an affair but I was craving being close to someone so much... And I really can't tell my wife about it - that could make her kill herself (literally). [e] Since I cannot find the reply button I'll edit my post. First of all thank you for your answers. If it were that simple. Cut ties, it's a sin, don't do it. I'm too weak for that right now. I know it will lead to pain, probably. But I already am in pain most of the time. Basically, I'm completely separated from my wife emotionally and physically and I fought for like two years to prevent that. My wife told me a few days ago that it's pretty clear to her that it's my fault that she started developing an eating disorder. I wasn't stable enough for her etc... Just to clarify what's the state of our relationship is she is completely absorbed by her ED-thoughts. I want to work on my marriage and improve it (it's what I'm trying to do since all this started, we already went to therpy and everything) but as long as we don't have a common ground to build from I don't see the way. Btw: I cannot completely cut ties with this woman, we are gonna meet semi-regularly because of our jobs for at least another 1-2 years. [e2] @Abby-Joy "All that to say ...I needed my husband's love, understanding, prayer, support. He wasn't there for me like he should have been." I'm trying to do all that and been trying for the past years. It's just that I'm a human being too, you know. I also have my weaknesses and a difficult past and my strength has its limits. That's no apology for anything - i know the scripture well enough. I have problems with addiction myself - as almost any human has... right? I only recently stopped smoking for example and I could only do that because of the support and faith that other woman had for me. But thank you for encouraging me to go another round. This is all very very hard and it's times like these when I understand why Paul said it would be best if we would live alone and concentrate full on the Lord. [e3] I'll think about someone I could talk to at my church... I came here because I have a hard time talking to people about these topics. It's well known in our church that she has an ED. And a lot of people come to me and ask me how we are etc. especially now that she's at a clinic. But I feel most of them come because that's what you do, not because they actually want me to open up. I usually tell what they want to hear, you know. And since I didn't have a single male father figure in my life I have a hard time talking to males anyway... But that's another topic -->Thank you for offer Abby-Joy talking to her. Who knows, maybe I'll pm you about that when the time is right. I don't think that I have to be afraid that she would commit adultery, she's pretty much asexual since all this started. At least that's how she behaves. I'm not sure if I still know her well enough though. She has changed soo much since we first met each other. I think the environment of our marriage (the first years) allowed her to start dealing with certain things from her past (much like you described) and then everything turned sideways. Thank you all so much for your replies, really helps me a lot even just writing here.
  2. My husband is not a believer. He was when we married, but changes his mind soon after. Now he doesn't know. Anyway he is open to having children for the first time in our marriage but I'm not sure about doing that because of the difference in faith. Open to any thoughts.
  3. So, hello everyone. Sharing something personal, so here goes... I've been married 18 months and I am realising that I'm married to a man who lacks communication skills. Don't know how other husbands are... But he doesn't talk much with me even after I've requested that I need him to talk with me more (and I plan dates etc to make this happen but still even there he'll be silent). He makes no effort with things that make me happy like he's never bought me flowers, never randomly text or called, hasn't initiated quality time and dates etc. He has stopped initiating and making effort. I feel he's going through something and I ask him if anything is bothering him but he says no. I know there's some tension due to a work issue but we are managing well. What advice can you give? PS... we are Christians and go to church.
  4. The past few days have been a bunch of small things that can easily have been fixed. my husband refuses to talk about things and it is like pulling teeth to get any of his feelings out of him. I told him i need him to communicate things with me so we can both work on things together. he thinks im trying to change him and that's just "how he is." which i explained is not true. it's a behavior things. how can we work on this? he went to bed still angry at me. I know in the Bible it talks about if someone becomes angry do not go to bed angry. So it really hurt me that he did. He's told me before that he just likes to be angry sometimes and he can't just get over it even after the problem has been dealt with. Please pray for our relationship. We just got married this December.
  5. Hello, I'm new here but I really know what else to do. I talk to my friends, preacher, and whoever else I feel comfortable with. But I still have issues, no matter how much I pray or do whatever. A little bit of back ground... I was saved when I was just a little boy, but didn't really ever follow Christ. At least until about a year ago. But I met my wife in high school in 2000 and we dated until 2005 when we got married. We had our first child in 2007 and our second in 2008. Just like any couple we had ups and downs but we always tried to move past them. I didn't ever help the situation by not caring nor stopping to listen. I always would get upset and frustrated because I always felt it was the same thing over and over. It was always me who would do something dumb and get mad at her when she'd find out and not tell the whole truth. I always thought that it didn't matter that much and she'd just get over it. I didn't ever pshycially cheat but I did emotionally, I didn't care. I did love my wife but I had a horrible way of showing it. Even though Id always act like a fool she'd always do the right thing and try to bring me back to my senses, but I didn't listen! Back a few years ago things got pretty bad and we decided to separate and see where that went. Well I thought that was what I wanted then but she begged me to come home and I did. The next few years I kept the same feeling that I didn't want to be married and I was better off single. Well if you speak it long enough it'll come true! Back in September of 2016 she and I decided to call it quits. Then in June of 2017 I moved out into my own place. Not long after I moved out that's when my life was shattered! I found out a lot of things that I never would've imagined. I found her with another man and also found out that she had been sexually active with him and two other men. I cant tell you what that did to me!! At first I acted like a fool and I did some ridiculous things, things that Id never had done! After I settled down a little bit I turned back to God for help! I gave my life back to him and started to devote everything to him. I have asked him time and time again to help me understand and see what to do. I have learned that he'll tear you down to bring you back to him and that your relationship with him is more important than a marriage. I feel like that's what he's done! I try to talk to her and to hopefully get somewhere with her but she thinks she's "in love". She says that she's happy, he makes her happy and if it weren't Gods plan then why would she feel like she does. I get so frustrated with this situation and I want to act out and be a fool but I know that wont do anything. I forgot to mention that between the both of us we've lost everyone parental wise. She found her momma dead in her bed while her parents were going thru a separation themselves. I'm at a loss and I don't know what to do. I feel like God's telling me that we'll be back together one day. An I know that his timing is perfect and I have to be patient, I'm trying so hard! I continue to stay confused because I hear her and others tell me to just move on. I go back and forth trying to make sure that it's God telling me to stand for our marriage. There is always so much going on in my head that I cant hear him clear and I just want it to STOP! I sometimes feel like I need to move on but when I do I feel...guilt. I still have issues with lust and things like that. That makes me feel like.. well I know that I'm in no way ready for God to mend our marriage. But why do I feel he's telling me he will? I've gotten to the point with a lot of friends that they don't want to even talk to me. I don't have any family other than my kids, so I'm just left to sit and think and dwell. UGH.. I just want to know what to do and how to handle it all!!
  6. Hi! I just hope someone could enlighten me with some christian advice that would help me get through with this. Its me finding it hard how to deal with my emotions everytime my husband gets to hang out with his friends, though he goes out very seldom just during reunions in his school-day friends & classmates. Our relationship is great no doubt we love each other have all the time for each other and grows better everytime. I just notice for three years of marriage I don’t know why it felt uncomfortable whenever he spend his time with them and enjoy their company. I admit, I’m a stay-at-home mom, an aloof type who doesn’t go out with friends always unlike him, being a leader on his school-day pals & is a friend to everybody. It felt bad like I’m ruining his social life. On the other hand I feel like I’m no part of it whenever he goes home and doesn’t share to me what had happened. Its like I’m missing a piece of his life that I don’t know about. I have no problem with our common circle of friends. He even spent all of his time to us his son everyday. However, I can’t deny the fact that it makes me uncomfortable when me and my son left out at home while he takes time with others and asking me to extend few more hours with them. The other thing is that one of his college friends is his ex’s but they’re good friends now but regardless, I feel the same way with his other friends. Do I make myself selfish? I’ve been honest with him with this situation, we did talked and Ive tried to embrace this situation and get along with it but the moment he can’t limit his time it pisses me off and makes me feel less-priority. Its kinda unhealthy for our marriage and I need some fixin’.. Thanks. What are your thoughts? What were your experiences? Am I not alone?
  7. Daily Reading 28 If you prefer, you can look up the following verses in your own Bible, of by whatever means and in whatever version you choose. Luke 20:27-47 Genesis 37 Psalm 28 Audio 5:07 Audio 4:56 Audio 1:28 The above addresses are linked to Bible Gateway. That is an easy way to read (or listen to) the Bible verses, and choose your version. Personally, I prefer written, that way I can go at my own pace, on think about it, before moving on. Nothing wrong with doing either or both. The Bible says faith comes by hearing. See the picture below to get an idea of what to expect if you follow the above links. Note: The audio will not play the exact verses, it will play the whole chapters, in which the verses exist. Thank you Lord for making the your word so accessible for us in these times. Amen
  8. Me and my wife eloped 5 years ago in our kitchen. We were new in our faith and got married because of God but technically not under God. We had a woman marry us so it was all very quick and unformal. Now we always agreed to have an actual wedding but we have tried planning and failed to complete everything for the 3rd time this year since we 1st tried in 2013. This time around we have already put a deposit on a venue and have already paid in full on everything except for cake, photographer and DJ. My best man had a very intimate wedding with his wife at our old church building. He believes that we shouldn't spend the money on our wedding and that we should do something small and intimate to Glorify God like he did. Of course hearing this hurts but I understand here he coming from. However I cant shake the fact that everyone else I know except for 1 other couple had a large formal wedding and got married in faith. I feel like we are being robbed of our moment but I dont want to be vain and get married just because, I want to have something nice to look back on. I don't see the issue but maybe it's my flesh talking. I need advice and prayer because I'm starting to feel depressed about the situation. Could it be jealousy or are we really dishonoring the Lord by have a "large" wedding?
  9. Hello all, My husband and I have been together about 5 years and we have a 1 year old. We have had a few issues with him lying and drinking. When he drinks (which is very rare) he turns into a whole other person. The other night he drank some alcohol late around 930 and said he just wanted to relax and get some work done because he normally works on the computer at night. I woke up the next morning and he had left his phone on the counter and the alarm was going off. I turned it off and noticed he had a new email asking for pictures... I scrolled down and saw he had messaged that person . My heart sank. He was looking in the m4m section on Craigslist and messaged multiple men. I only saw one other message and then immediately went upstairs to confront him. He hurried and deleted the messages and said he doesn't know what came over him or why he would do that. He swears he isn't attracted to men but I feel there must be an underlying issue. I said he wouldn't message men and be willing to act on it if he hadn't dabbled in that area before. He is going to seek counseling but he can't meet with anyone until Tuesday afternoon. I am hurt. I don't know who to talk to. I'm beyond embarrassed and feel disgusted. I don't know what to to or how to move past this. I keep seeing the 2 messages I saw over and over again. I'm a stay at home mom and I just can't stop thinking about this. Please if you have any advice let me know. Prayers are very appreciated in this hard time. Thank you...
  10. If a spouse is spending out of control is it a violation of oneness to have separate checking accounts?
  11. The Worlds religions, a few Protestants, Meet with the Pope to define “Marriage.” From the article on the ongoing Nov 17th - 19th meeting: “Russell Moore, Rick Warren to Join ‘Pope Francis’ With Muslims, Buddhists for Interfaith Conference” “ROME – Russell Moore, the president of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, and Saddleback megachurch leader Rick Warren will team up with Roman Catholic Pontiff Francis later this month for an interfaith Vatican conference on marriage and family.” “According to the Catholic News Service, those of the Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, Hindu, Jaina Shasana, Taoist and Sikh religions will be present, as well as Roman Catholics and professing Christians. The event is sponsored by the Pontifical Council for the Family, the Pontifical Council for Interreligious Dialogue, and the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity.” A few thoughts on the sponsored Pontifical Council meeting: We honestly do not need the worlds religions, Roman Catholicism, and watered down Protestants that embrace Roman Catholicism defining marriage for the Christian. God Himself has already defined it: Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Mat 19:4-6 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. The “Christian unity” being referred to in the article points to unity with “Rome” through it's Roman Catholic church system. This is the same Roman Catholic Pope Francis that has recently tried to embrace the sin of homosexuality, kissed a human skin fleck and a vile containing human blood to “saint” two previous Popes. And has a “father” that tells him all are going to heaven, even atheist... (This is the cult of Universalism.)
  12. Just having turned 40 years old a couple of months ago feels like a huge burden on my shoulders that keep getting bigger and bigger. I feel like the whole world is out to get me. I've been married for the 2nd time for 1 year (my first husband passed away unexpectedly 5 years ago). I feel like I have the weight of the entire world on me; from helping my mom who doesn't drive or speak English, to secretly dealing with my step-daughter who is acting up and getting in trouble with the law, to trying to keep my husband in line and away from his crazy, dangerous past, to dealing with chronic illness and continuous pain; to dealing with not been able to have kids; to all kinds of financial problems. And those are just the things that are going on right now, there are plenty more things I've had to endure in my entire life. All those pains, all those troubles make me feel like I am always chasing an ounce of happiness that will never be attained. I look up to God and I ask, why so much, why all the time and all I hear is silence. Whether He forgot about me or He's giving me the silent treatment, I don't understand. Giving up is all I can think about, but even in giving up I'm letting Him down and doing what He doesn't want me to do, I guess. But what other way out is there from all this pain, all this suffering, all this craziness? If we are all going to die at the end, why try to avoid the inevitable. How can I learn to live without caring? Without giving a second thought to my mother's situation, to the relationship with my brother, to the relapses my husband continues to have over and over. When there are no shattered dreams only because there's no strength to even dream, how can you find the strength to go on. I guess all I can ask, is how do I end the suffering when He shines his face away from me all the time.
  13. My husband and I have been married for almost two years. He is a wonderful Christain man. He loves giving back to the church, dedicating himself to helping family and church family, he is hard working, and so much more. When we first met I immediately knew he was different than most people and that he processes things differently. It is very difficult for him to put himself in someone else's shoes, or understand that others interpret situations differently than he does. There is no ill-will towards anyone, he just cannot empathize well and often misinterprets or misses nuances of meaning. I know this and try to adjust my interactions with him accordingly, but I feel like effective communication is always a struggle. I want to find a better way to communicate with him and to help our marriage grow. When I tell him that I want to connect more and grow our marriage he becomes offended and interprets it as me saying he is a bad husband and our relationship is terrible, which is not the case. When I try to clarify my meaning he shuts down or becomes angry. I have attempted to follow advice saying to dedicate myself to biblical wifely duties and pray that he will become more active and open to growing our marriage. However, it seems the more I dedicate myself to selflessly serving him the more he takes for granted what I do and the more he begins to expect it. If I fail or forget something, like washing his undershirts, he rebukes me as if I am a child that has misbehaved. When I try to tell him how I feel he shuts down or gets upset. So I have tried to be more subtle. I asked if we could start reading the bible together and praying before bed, but again he interpreted it as me saying our marriage is terrible. It isn't terrible, far from it, but before we have children I feel that we need to be able to work better as a team, communicate more effectively, and have a more Christ-centered relationship. Prayers and advice would be greatly appreciated.
  14. Hi family. i married my wife at a point where i was desperate to get my greencard. However she was married before & got divorced because according to her, her hisband was not treating her right & she made effort for counselling but he did not change. She claimed he was cheating but with no specific evidence except gor the text messages she found on his phone. we met & dated for 3months and been married going 4months now. She loves me a lot & we understand eachother very much. I did pray to God to show me if it was going to be a wrong decision before i went but i didnt seem to hear anything from God. I remember the pastor who counselled us asked us, on a scale of 1-10 how much do we want to get married. I said "honestly, a 7" & she said 8. I do my best everyday to be a good person & fearing God. Looking back, my conscience pricks me because deep deep down in me, i was in it for my papers. However, My papers is yet to arrive but i want to ask for forgiveness from her, her parents & God and return to my home country. Is it right in the sight of God? Is it still a sin regardless? Can i be free from her after confessing?
  15. I knew for a while almost a year something was up with my husband. I met him a six years ago and when we were engaged 5 years ago I saw that he was Facebooking his ex girlfriend asking her how she was doing and etc. I confronted him about it he said he deleted her from Facebook and stopped messaging her. A few months later I just happened to have a gut feeling and looked at his phone and he was still messaging her this time not on Facebook but via his phone. A few weeks after that I found out he was facebooking a friend that he used to like he told me to meet her at a bar. He begged me for forgiveness he wanted to get married he apologized and stated that he was thinking of his ex girlfriend because her mother died and for his family friend he wanted to innocently catch up with her. I did so many things for this guy, helped him get his first apartment, his first teaching job, learn to drive, first car, and etc. I fell for the excuses forgave him got married and now have a 2 year old son. This summer he told asked me what would I do if he cheated? That I couldn't blame him. Something along those lines, I was shocked. Then 2 months ago we bought a luxury car I wanted to drive it he stated that it is his car it is in his name why do I want to drive it. (CRAZY, I am his wife and mother of his son). Fast forward to Feb/March 2017, this man posted seriously innappropiate photos of one his classmates, he is pursuing his masters, at her birthday party. I was disturbed by the photos and asked him to take it down he did not immediately; but several hours later after I asked multiple times he did. I was alarmed A few days after that I got access to his phone and saw all the pictures on his phone and a video of the same girl and it was focused on her chest. My heart dropped I realized that he really did have a sexual attraction to this person and probably had sex with her. The NEXT day I went into his phone again and saw text messages to another woman this time his coworker. about 30-40 text messages a day, asking her what she wanted for breakfast, her favorite foods, that he had a dream about her, quoting scriptures, saying that he would pray for her.(Stuff he doesn't do for me). He doesn't even want to go to church or pray or read the bible with me. What really got me is that he told her that he had a dream about her that God stated her name 3 times. I was and still am very upset I feel betrayed, we are in counseling he admitted that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be married since the summer time and that is when his coworker was first hired. I don't trust him. I did alot for him, when I met him he was working part-time renting a room and I did everything for him becuase I loved him and now within 5 years he is a teacher, in masters program, went from renting a room to an apartment, and owning a house, knows how to drive and etc. I am not the type to clean up a man and etc, but I fell in love with him and my gift is organization and etc. I thought I would spend the rest of my life with someone who was committed and loyal to me. When we were engaged he showed me that he wasn't but I fell for the apology. Now we are married and I clearly see that he most likely had sex and that he is a PHONY. I am so conflicted I am a Christian and wanted to be married for life. Has anyone here forgiven their husband and/or significant other and they have changed and you lead a good life. The lying and the phoniness scares me to death it is so scary and I feel like he has had sex with another person and I am so scared what my life has become.
  16. Washington State Supreme Court Upholds Ruling Declaring Florist Must Service ‘Gay Weddings’ From a portion of the newsletter, emphasis mine: “We had gone to Arlene’s for many years and enjoyed her service. She did a great job for us, so it was just natural for us to go there to have her do our flowers,” Freed told KUOW radio. Stutzman stated that she politely explained that she would not be able to help in regard to the event, but referred him to three other florists that could be of assistance. “I just took his hands and said, ‘I’m sorry. I cannot do your wedding because of my relationship with Jesus Christ,’” (the florist) Stutzman told reporters. But after Ingersoll decided to post on Facebook about the matter, controversy arose on both sides of the issue—both for and against Stutzman. The florist said that she received a number of threatening and angry comments. “It blew way out of proportion,” Stutzman explained. “I’ve had hate mail. I’ve had people that want to burn my building. I’ve had people that will never shop here again and [vow to] tell all their friends.” "...Rob Ingersoll and I have been friends since very nearly the first time he walked into my shop all those years ago,” Stutzman said in a statement following the decision. “There was never an issue with his being gay, just as there hasn’t been with any of my other customers or employees. He just enjoyed my custom floral designs, and I loved creating them for him.” “But now the state is trying to use this case to force me to create artistic expression that violates my deepest beliefs and take away my life’s work and savings, which will also harm those who I employ,” she continued. “I’m not asking for anything that our Constitution hasn’t promised me and every other American: the right to create freely, and to live out my faith without fear of government punishment or interference.” Stutzman now plans to appeal her case to the U.S. Supreme Court.
  17. So long story short, my husband of a little over a year cannot get over what my life was before I make a Christian(aka the many sexual partners I had). At he beginning I lied about the number because I was terrified of him leaving me, but eventually the truth came out. It hurts. He says he will never leave me but will never be able to forget it. I don't want to live my entire life knowing that. My entire life feeling dirty. I don't know what to do.
  18. Marriage of the Israelites was very different from our western marriage of today. Although there is a great amount no known know about Israelite marriage, it customs and bindings, the biblical references that speak on this essential topic us that many Israelite marriage customs were very different than those our modern western societies. Number one,it is known that Israelite girls were expected to have maintained their virginity when they got married—and according to Deuteronomy Chap 22:1 could even be put to death if they were found not to be—men were allowed to marry multiple women. It is hard to know how common polygamy, unacceptable as it is now, which entailed a husband the right of being married to more than one woman, really was in ancient Israel. Also, certain evidence tells us that compared to wifes, the husband had more control over whom they married. For example, Samson chooses his own wife in Judges 14, even though his parents disapprove of the match speaks of a somewhat strong, somewhat independent degree of independence for men for selecting a mate. Most likely, young girls of age were married around puberty whereas young men were somewhat older than who they were marrying. Though unions were generally based more on economic or social considerations than romantic ones, some texts, including the Song of Songs, show us that ideas of passion and romantic love were also not only present but strong in ancient Israel. Number two In order to marry woman, a man would give her father a gift called the Mohar that would officaily seal and begin the betrothal between betrothed. Betrothal was, and today still is, a much firmer commitment than today’s engagement. Though one might think of the betrothal Mohar as a purchase price, this is inaccurate. Anthropologists call this gift “bridewealth.” It is found in many societies throughout the world and is not considered human sale by the people of those cultures—Israelite wives were never thought of as slaves in biblical times, though Israelite men sometimes did their marry slave women or servants. Some length of time after the betrothal, wedding festivities, often involving several or even weeks of feasting, would occur. The relationship between husbands and wives was not as equal in the ancient Near East as in modern Western Society, including Israel. Ba‘al, one of the Hebrew words for “husband,” also meant “lord” or “master,” and many Israelite men had life-and-death power over women in the case of adultery, which in ancient Israel involved a woman having sex outside of her marriage or a man having sex with another man’s wife. Men, though, could have multiple wives and concubines and were allowed to go to prostitutes, thus monogamy was a one-way street in this culture.And is the main reason prompting Jesus to to say the rules for divorce in the Gospel of Matthew... Matthew 19:9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." Finally, i say in a firm, final summarization , not all biblical texts are in agreement on every issue regarding marriage perhaps it changed with the constant struggle between conservatism and liberality in different tribes climates and Eras, More suggesting that different Israelite communities and authors had diverse and sometimes colliding viewpoints on more male dominant or gender equal marriage and that Israelite viewpoints evolved over time. Many biblical customs would be unfamiliar or even objectionable to many people living in our present- day Sex obsessed western societies today. Still, when we read the impassioned romantic poetry of the Song of Songs, we realize that some things, don't, never can, and never will change with love and marriage, Thank you.
  19. I have the urge and desire to be married ..in the same way I have the urge and desire to have friends...but... I feel I'm destined to be alone. I dont know how to explain it but I feel ill be alone. I just dont understand why id have the desire to be married and share myself with someone...as well as have the desire to have friends when I dont get the opportunity to have any. ( I've tried) one interesting thing that was said, was that you have no idea if those desires ( for friends and husband ) is from God... However, I feel not having these desires will make me less then human...kind of robotic. Its human to feel.. And it would turn me into a lone hermit. His word says he didnt call us to be alone...but that's where I'm headed to... I just wonder if maybe that's his will for me ...to just be by myself. I dont know ( and foe those who ask, yes I've volunteered at pantries and things like that... I'm gonna try and get back into it) what do you guys think?
  20. I need help that only God can give me, strength that I don't have, joy and peace that has been shaken, and I'm fighting fear, which is not of God. It's been a week since my wife left me. She had distanced herself from me and I confronted her and, long story short, she said that she didn't want this. She said that she doesn't want to be married anymore. This came out of nowhere and it completely rocked my world. She wants a different type of life. She says that she's missed out on some things and she wants to pursue them without the entanglements of commitment or the weight of marriage. But she has not asked for divorce. She's been out of the house sleeping at a friend's house who has a vacant room. To keep the kids secure, she's coming in before they wake up so that she can take them to school; then she picks them up and is here until my 11yr old goes to bed for the night; then she's gone. We went to church as a family and also shared Thanksgiving, however that was the worse thanksgiving I've ever had. This is a satanic attack and he wants to destroy my marriage, kids, and ministry. I instantly saw my children's future and it frightened and saddened me. I've explained this to her, but she's blinded by the enemy. I love her so deeply. I am depressed, lonely and sad. I fought for understanding and tried every logical and theological argument that she would tolerate. FTR, I don't believe she's sleeping around. She's a descent woman and she loves the Lord, but she's seduced by Satan and doesn't know it. Her heart has grown hard and cold to the influence of God's word. God has revealed to me that she will be back, but the pain doesn't go away...the fear doesn't either. I just gave it to God and told her that I won't stress her anymore over it. I told her that I would support her aspirations, and I would be here for her in whatever way she needed me to reach her goals. But this is so risky and I know it's an satanic attempt to rip our lives apart. Without God's intervention I'm witnessing the beginning of the end of my marriage. This hurts beyond description. I don't know what to do other than cry, support her and love her pray for her. Anything else will only serve to drive a wedge between us. There's still a connection and there's still hope. I'm open to ideas or testimonies that may give me hope. I don't understand, and I'm severely depressed. I don't eat and I've lost 10 lbs since she told me last week. I'm praying that everything falls back in place. Pray that I be the man that she needs. Pray that she has the success that she needs while our marriage is still intact, so that she won't think that even with this Arrangement it still is an obstacle that needs to be removed. Pray that God softens her heart and restore her affection for me. Pray that the Lord bring restoration to our relationship. Of course my heart is broken. I am devastated. I am undone. But I believe that the effectual fervent prayer of the righteous will avail. I believe that if we ask and I will receive my wife back. I need prayer for strength so that I can endure this. Thank you, pray my strength in the Lord.
  21. My boyfriend and I are Christian and love each other very much. We would like to get married, however there is one big problem. His parents, who are also Christian, do not approve of our relationship. They haven't met me yet, and they refuse to meet me because my parents are not Christian. In their eyes, my boyfriend shouldn't marry someone whose parents are not Christian as they may have an unchristian influence on our home or in our children's lives. We have already talked about how we would raise our kids in a Christian home using Christian principles. My boyfriend and I are really struggling with this. We believe that children should obey and honor their parents, even through we are both adults. And without their blessings he doesn't feel like he can or should marry me. What should we do? Is it unchristian to choose your own husband/wife or to marry without parents' blessings? Please advise. We want to follow the Christian path. We're both praying about this, but need advice.
  22. I am a 23 year old believer who is dating a 25 year old. She was only recently saved and has a long way to go. I have been praying whether she is the one God intended for me to marry. So asked my parents to pray also earnestly regarding the topic. My mother who wasn't too happy about the age difference initially told me the holy spirit spoke to her yesterday and said that he created Adam first and Eve second for a reason. That I need to do what's biblical. So I've been praying for a sign so that God shows me what to do. I want to put him first but it's difficult with so many voices to listen to. Please pray for me and give me advice.
  23. Do you think that a christian woman marrying an unbeliever (muslim in this case) is a sin or not? And what if they love each others? Do you think this kind of love is wrong? Also, if they are to have children and the children become muslims, is it wrong that the christian lets them become muslims (even if she tells them about her own christian beliefs) ? This kind of marriage is not a good idea anyway in my opinion because of the religion issues, but if these things just happen?
  24. Hoping for the rest of the country to follow suit. How rare is it these days to see a vote 161-0? Part of the article: ‘Pastor Protection Act’ Unanimously Passes Georgia House "ATLANTA, Ga. — The Georgia House of Representatives unanimously approved a bill this week that protects clergy from punishment if they decline to perform same-sex “weddings.” H.B. 757 was introduced last summer by Rep. Kevin Tanner, R-Dawsonville, and found support from Democrats and Republicans alike. “No minister of the gospel or cleric or religious practitioner ordained or authorized to solemnize marriages, perform rites, or administer sacraments according to the usages of the denomination, when acting in his or her official religious capacity, shall be required to solemnize any marriage, perform any rite or administer any sacrament in violation of his or her right to free exercise of religion under the Constitution of this state or the United States,” the bill reads in part. In addition to churches, the bill also applies to religious schools, missionary societies and denominational conventions. “The Pastor Protection Act is a simple reaffirmation of our bedrock principle of separation of church and state,” Tanner told reporters. “It makes clear that Georgia respects and honors the sacred oaths taken by our pastors, priests, rabbis and other clergy and that government has no intention of asking them to violate those oaths.” Homosexual advocacy groups decried the move, opining that it grants a “license to discriminate.” “It allows faith-based organizations to withhold services if they choose to do so,” Jeff Graham, the executive director of Georgia Equality, said in testimony before the Senate Rules Committee, which is considering a similar combined bill. “I am especially concerned that this bill will have a chilling effect on the state’s LGBT families.” As previously reported, a homosexual activist has been calling for clergy nationwide to stop calling homosexuality sinful. According to the New York Times, Mitchell Gold of Faith in America told the publication last May that “church leaders must be made ‘to take homosexuality off the sin list..." "...The Pastor Protection Act passed 161-0 on Thursday. “There’s a global threat to religious liberty occurring,” said Dr. Daniel Ausbun, pastor of First Baptist Church in Moreland in a column published in the Newnan Times-Herald on Saturday. “Religious liberty is the freedom to believe and practice your faith apart from government interference...”
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