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Found 8 results

  1. So, hello everyone. Sharing something personal, so here goes... I've been married 18 months and I am realising that I'm married to a man who lacks communication skills. Don't know how other husbands are... But he doesn't talk much with me even after I've requested that I need him to talk with me more (and I plan dates etc to make this happen but still even there he'll be silent). He makes no effort with things that make me happy like he's never bought me flowers, never randomly text or called, hasn't initiated quality time and dates etc. He has stopped initiating and making effort. I feel he's going through something and I ask him if anything is bothering him but he says no. I know there's some tension due to a work issue but we are managing well. What advice can you give? PS... we are Christians and go to church.
  2. Daily Reading 30 If you prefer, you can look up the following verses in your own Bible, of by whatever means and in whatever version you choose. Luke 22:1-38 Genesis 39 Psalm 30 Audio 7:58 Audio 3:08 Audio 1:32 The above addresses are linked to Bible Gateway. That is an easy way to read (or listen to) the Bible verses, and choose your version. Personally, I prefer written, that way I can go at my own pace, on think about it, before moving on. Nothing wrong with doing either or both. The Bible says faith comes by hearing. See the picture below to get an idea of what to expect if you follow the above links. Note: The audio will not play the exact verses, it will play the whole chapters, in which the verses exist. Thank you Lord for making the your word so accessible for us in these times. Amen
  3. Me and my wife eloped 5 years ago in our kitchen. We were new in our faith and got married because of God but technically not under God. We had a woman marry us so it was all very quick and unformal. Now we always agreed to have an actual wedding but we have tried planning and failed to complete everything for the 3rd time this year since we 1st tried in 2013. This time around we have already put a deposit on a venue and have already paid in full on everything except for cake, photographer and DJ. My best man had a very intimate wedding with his wife at our old church building. He believes that we shouldn't spend the money on our wedding and that we should do something small and intimate to Glorify God like he did. Of course hearing this hurts but I understand here he coming from. However I cant shake the fact that everyone else I know except for 1 other couple had a large formal wedding and got married in faith. I feel like we are being robbed of our moment but I dont want to be vain and get married just because, I want to have something nice to look back on. I don't see the issue but maybe it's my flesh talking. I need advice and prayer because I'm starting to feel depressed about the situation. Could it be jealousy or are we really dishonoring the Lord by have a "large" wedding?
  4. Hello, I want for advice. I am really interested into finding Christian wife for entire life and do not even know where to look. I try local dating sites, not even sure if it is OK at all, not so serious place where all entertain each other with soft erotic. No success from them either. So I ask from those married happily mainly for advice. Where I should look for her? Or maybe I do not have to search actively like that at all and wait for God timing?
  5. Any guys up for a Love Your Wife Better Challenge in October? I'm thinking our daily goal would be to PREEP: 1) Pray for {your wife and marriage} 2) Read {the Bible} 3) Engage {your spouse} 4) Connect {with other men} 5) Pray with {your spouse} “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.” ― John Eldredge, Wild at Heart John 13:34-35 34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Here are the daily engagement challenges I’m thinking of... Day 1. Ask her: How can I help you today (or this week)? Day 2. Go a whole day without correcting your spouse. Speak Life! Day 3. Hug your spouse 3-5 times today. Day 4. Kiss your spouse the first time you see them in the morning. Tell her she is beautiful and that you love her. Day 5. Give 3 reasons you appreciate your spouse. Say: “I appreciate you because __________________, _______________________, and _____________________ . Day 6. Write your spouse a hand-written or typed up letter. It can be as long or short as you’d like. Mail it off today so they get it hopefully no later than next week. Day 7. Determine what your spouse’s primary love languages are today: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, or Acts of Service. This is how your spouse likes to receive love. Day 8. Since yesterday you determined what your spouses’ primary love language(s) are, use this information to do something for them today. Day 9. Plan a surprise date with your wife for later on this month. Doesn’t have to be expensive. If money is tight free dates or inexpensive dates are good too. If you want to go even further plan a romantic getaway this year or early next year. Day 10. Turn off all electronics and spend at least 30 minutes to one hour talking on the couch/bed. Try to really listen to your spouse and ask engaging questions. Day 11. Watch your spouse’s favorite movie, sport, or TV show today without interrupting. No mocking or negative comments. Note: This is HER favorite not yours. Day 12. Today focus on being patient with your spouse. Day 13. Three times today say: “I love you because ___________________ “ Describe something about her character, intellect, actions, physical beauty, or personhood in Christ. Day 14. Leave your spouse a note before work. Day 15. Today focus on being kind to your spouse. Day 16. Thank your spouse today for 3 specific things: ____________, _____________, and ____________ . Day 17. Build your spouse up today by complimenting your spouse in front of your children, relatives, or friends. Feel free to compliment her more than once! Day 18. Ask your spouse’s opinion on a subject that interests him or her. Turn off all electronics, remove all distractions, sit on the couch/bed, and engage her for 30 minutes to an hour. Day 19. Bring your spouse some flowers, a token gift, or their favorite dessert. Day 20. Spend some extra time praying together. It can be an extra 5-10 minutes. Or it could be more if you are so led. Day 21. Choose one: Do the dishes, do the laundry, gather the trash, or do some other chore for your spouse today without complaining and without them asking. See a need and fill a need. Day 22. Spend 10-30 minutes reading the Bible together. Or it could be more if you are so led. Day 23. Today determine to speak softly and avoid getting angry with your spouse. Day 24. Give your spouse a massage. Day 25. Today get out your wedding album to look through pictures, watch your wedding on video, or take time to think back to your wedding day with your spouse. What were your wedding vows? Day 26. Ask your spouse what are 2-3 of their goals or dreams for this year and/or next year. Day 27. Ask your spouse: “Where do you see us 10 years from now?” Day 28. Go on a date this weekend that you planned earlier this month. It can be at home or out some place. It can be free or it can cost a pretty penny. Put some thought into it based on the preferences of your wife. Day 29. Talk to your spouse about their favorite things. Think for example heroes, authors, books, or activities. Day 30. Talk about finances with your spouse. Ask her to review your budget together, make a few changes, and revisit your giving together. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation maybe 5-20 minutes. Day 31. Talk to your spouse about a place they would like to visit someday. Since October has 31 days I added another one. Feel free to provide feedback or to suggest days to be switched around or challenges to be replaced. What are your thoughts? God bless, GE
  6. Greetings All, This discussion will be between Shiloh357 and Butero regarding the authority of the husband in the home. Please be cognizant of the fact that this forum is specifically designed for one on one discussions between only the two members involved. If you are not Shiloh357 or Butero, please do not, under any circumstances, post in this thread.
  7. I'm less interesting in discussing IBLP/ATI, and/or Bill Gothard. But instead your thoughts on what you think about "listening to the cautions of your wife" from a doctrinal perspective? Is there a balance missing here? Other thoughts on this article? God bless, GE ------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
  8. I read this today and wanted to share. I hope it touches your heart and reminds you to thank God daily for your spouse. God bless! Confessions of a Young Widow: The Little Things I Miss About Being Married Sometimes it’s the silly things that most couples probably take for granted that I miss the most about my husband. by Sabrina Beasley Not long ago, I was in a discussion group of singles, but there happened to be one young married couple in the mix. Having been widowed for a couple of years now, I love to watch how husbands and wives interact. Their behaviors are slight, yet they speak a thousand words. For example, as the young man shared his stories he would look to his wife regularly to seek her approval about the details. She smiled at him and nodded. They made eye contact in a deeper way. They sat a little closer to each other than the rest of us. It’s those little gestures that say, “Our lives are one. The togetherness is so special, so safe.” You would think romantic dinner dates and kissing scenes in the movies were fodder for sadness to a young widow. Although I miss those aspects, too, it’s the subtle things that bring me to tears. How many times have I been fuzzy on the details of a story or forgotten the name of a movie or restaurant or company, and there was no one to ask? I knew David would have known. When I saw the way this couple interacted like a well-played duet, I couldn’t help but long for what I had lost. I started thinking of all the things I miss—the little things that most people probably take for granted and don’t realize are blessings—and came up with a quick list. I miss “man clutter.” A dirty sock here or there, the toilet seat up, dishes on the counter—all of the little things that can frustrate a wife until she is fuming. But each of these annoying habits is also a symbol of life. A living breathing human is moving and giving and taking, leaving “laughter in the walls.” The man clutter means there is masculinity added to the home, giving balance to the femininity. Like too much sugar, a house that is devoid of masculinity can be almost too sweet. As much as it annoyed me at the time, now I see that housekeeping is a small price to pay for what you gain. I miss having someone to cook for and eat with. My children are so small that they aren’t interested in roasted meats or casseroles. And even if they were, their combined consumed portion would hardly justify making any. Most of it would just end up in the freezer (or attached to my hips). So we eat a lot of small easy meals, like sandwiches, hot dogs, fresh fruits and vegetables, anything that can be thrown together quickly. You might wonder, Why are you complaining about that? I hate cooking! I’m not much of a chef myself, honestly. But I do miss the sense of accomplishment that I felt when David complimented a dish and asked to have it again soon. Or when he insisted that I make a certain casserole once a week, even volunteering to cut up the onions for me so he could eat it more often. Cooking a meal gave me a sense of accomplishment and instant positive feedback. I don't get that a lot from my kids. Along with that comes the family dinner time. I attempt to sit my two kids and me at the table for our meals, but preschoolers don’t do mealtime very well. Their sole purpose for food is energy, and when they are done refueling they are ready to get up and go! So I end up sitting alone to eat while they play together. I miss a man’s juvenile behavior. The other day a friend was telling me how she bought an outdoor waterslide for her kids so they would be occupied while she worked on some preparations for a big party. She thought her husband would set it up and then come inside to help her while the kids played, but instead, he spent the entire day playing on the slide with the kids. It used to bother me when I felt like I was doing all the work, and David was just playing. Now, I wish I had someone to lighten me up! I’m still doing all the work, and there is no one to encourage me to stop. Even the kids suffer. If their dad’s juvenile behavior was still here, they would have someone to go down the tall slides with, jump in the cold swimming pool with, take them out in the backyard while I cook, wrestle on the floor, and teach them how to take risks. I do it out of obligation, trying to be a good mother, but he would have done it because it was fun. I miss having someone to disagree with me. I think I make better decisions when I have someone to talk things over with. When there is an opposing opinion, it makes me think about why I feel the way I do about an issue. It either strengthens my resolve or helps me see the way to a better solution. Either way, someone to disagree with is a valuable commodity, especially when it’s a person who also cares about my children, finances, and spiritual life as a family as much as I do. I miss the molding that comes from the give and take of life with a husband. We humans are like lumps of clay. We require constant kneading to make us pliable and fit for the potter’s wheel, because without it we can dry up and harden and become useless. It makes our edges smooth and our hearts soft. As a married woman, I had someone there in my life providing that service daily, and now I must seek it out like seeking a dentist to pull a bad tooth. It’s hard. Even with as much support as I have received (and it has been amazing), it’s still difficult to be vulnerable and share my burdens with someone other than a spouse. Just this week I felt there was an area in my life where I really needed some loving criticism and feedback. In the past, I could sit on the couch with David at the end of a hard day or week and talk it over with him. When I was wrong, he would call me out, encourage me to change, and remind me that I needed to do better next time. But then he would help me realize that it wasn’t the end of the world. “It will be okay,” he would say, and I believed him. And when I was right, he would take my side and become my cheerleader, encouraging me not to back down from the truth that was worth fighting for. But no matter if I was right or wrong, he was there to love me. He would always love me. Those are just a few examples of the overlooked blessings of marriage. There are so many more! But this isn’t meant to be a weeping letter of self-pity. Rather it’s meant to be an encouragement to all of you wives out there who are having a hard time seeing past the little annoying things your husband might be doing. There is a reason that God made men and women different. The attraction can turn into disdain so easily. But take it from someone who no longer faces these annoyances: Don’t let yourself forget what’s good in your husband and your marriage. And if you are dealing with any pent up anger or vindictiveness, let me encourage you, if at all possible, to let it go. Not only will it destroy your marriage, it will also poison your heart. Bitterness is like a knife meant for another that slices the one who is carrying it. Look for the good in your spouse—you cannot expect perfection, no matter who you are married to. It’s so easy to get caught up in what a husband “always” does wrong. I remember how many times I did. And, oh, how I wish I had it all back. It wouldn’t be a burden for me at all the second time.
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