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  1. charlotteann192

    Christian Advice greatly needed please!

    Hello all, My name is Charlotte and I am new to this website. I mostly joined because I am seeking Christian advice. Here is a little backstory on me: I grew up in church and have been a Christian basically my whole life. I still live at home with my parents, and my two younger brothers- one of which has autism. I am currently finishing up college, and have been under a great deal of stress lately. I have had medical issues come up, and I have a stressful job with weird while taking 18 hours in school. Though I am a Christian, I struggled with an eating disorder, and have since high school. However, I am seeking advice on sexual sin that recently came up. I am 21 years old and have had one boyfriend my entire life. My best friend, and most of my other friends are engaged, married, or soon to be engaged. My whole life I have been terrified about being single for life. I am such a dependent person, and It terrifies me to think I could end up alone. I am kind of shy and more of an introverted person. However, at the same time, I don't want to be in a relationship during this time in my life. My mom and I are really close, and I honestly to spend as much time with my family as I can, because I know one day my parents will be gone. The thought of them being gone one day keeps me up at night, I can't bare it. Now finally getting to the sin I have dealt with recently. I do not know what came over me, but I began online "dating" and basically sending nude photographs to strangers. I did this through an app called Yik Yak popular on our college campus. I sent out a phone number for my texting app saying I would send dirty pictures to anyone who wanted them. (completely anonymous with a texting app and my face cropped out) I feel like a complete idiot typing this, but it's true. I have never been so ashamed, disgusted, and angry with myself. I am very active in my church, and work in the children's ministry. The really sad thing is while I was doing that, I acknowledged that it was wrong, and that I was sinning against God, however I did it anyway. I thought "He will forgive me, eventually I'll feel bad about it and repent." What came over me and how could I have been so stupid?? Sorry for the long, rambly, and grammatically incorrect post. I am just so ashamed, stressed out, and not myself. I want to deep relationship with God, however it just seems impossible to me. It is hard for me to stay focused during sermons, Bible reading, and prayer because I have ADD as well. I guess, I am just seeking any advice anyone has to give. I don't have anyone I could really talk to about this, so advice would be appreciated.