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  1. We almost lost another brother this week after he tried a very small piece off a pill, which he thought could be ecstasy. This shaving from a large white pill immediately made him feel like he couldn't breathe, and took his pulse down to 100 over 30 the paramedic stated. The full dose would have killed 4 people. Turned out to be heroin mixed with fentanyl. He survived it, is back at home today. We appreciate your prayers here in Toledo. I pray God's grace, wisdom and understanding for the readers about this issue. This stuff is a powerful killer, should not be available out here!!
  2. Hi. I have not been on here in a while. But I hope all of you are well. My reason for posting this is, I hope you will pray for my family. When i go, I don’t want them to feel much pain for me, but I just don’t believe I could get better through people praying for me. So I already have a plan. I just ask for you guys to pray for them. There are many people on here who have prayed for me so thank you. Maybe this is an outcry for something idk, but I decided that it will not get better for me. My social anxiety has DESTROYED my life. My faith is non existent. I am just a lonely HS senior whose tried God and the church. But I don’t want to go into detail about my life, there’s too much. There are probably people out there who are much worse, but they are stronger than me. Farewell.
  3. On Humans-Cease-To-Exist Atheism there is no ultimate difference in the end of a human being and a cockroach, in that both have the same ultimate destiny, namely oblivion as in ceasing to exist. Some atheists say that humans cease to exist after death. Other atheists say they do not know if humans cease to exist after death, that there may be an afterlife. The following thoughts are a response directed ONLY to those atheists that say humans cease to exist after death. That which ceases to exist has no ultimate worth and value. Nothing cannot be valuable. On Cease-To-Exist Atheism humans have the same identical ultimate worth and value as does a cockroach, namely oblivion as in ceasing to exist. This cannot be denied. It is factually true. Please note the key word in the above statements, the key word is ultimate. If you ignore this word ultimate, then you do not have my position. How so? Because I cheerfully admit that atheists have present worth and value to their own self in their own mind and feelings. But on Cease-To-Exist Atheism, atheists have no ultimate worth and value because they cease to exist and that which ceases to exist has no ultimate worth and value. Nothing cannot be valuable. 0 + 0 = 0. Ultimate definition: "being or happening at the end of a process" Repeat for emphasis: On Cease-To-Exist Atheism atheists will cease to exist at the end of the process of their life. Therefore on Cease-To-Exist Atheism atheists have the identical ultimate end as does a cockroach, namely ceasing to exist as in oblivion. Therefore on Cease-To-Exist Atheism atheists have, like the cockroach, no ultimate worth and value. That which no longer exists is not worth anything. Its utterly impossible for nothing to be valuable. And on Cease-To-Exist Atheism, atheists end up ultimately in oblivion, as in nothing. Sad to be sure. The Lord Jesus says about His sheep. "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish. John 10:28 The point of my Opening Post is to show the absurdity of Humans-Cease-To-Exist Atheism.
  4. Hello All, I wanted to ask your opinion on what your thoughts concerning these passages: 1 Peter 4:6 King James Version (KJV) 6 For for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit. 1 Corinthians 5:5 King James Version (KJV) 5 To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. Why did Jesus preach to them that were already dead? What does it mean "to live according to God in the spirit"? What does it mean that the "spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus?" What are your thoughts as to the meaning of these passages? Is there hope for those who are dead?
  5. I have been studying eschatology for more than 30 years now. Originally I believed in a pre-tribulation rapture because frankly it was the only view I had ever heard. One day I was listening to the radio and heard a man mentioning the fact that there were other views on the topic. This got my curiosity up and I decided to study the Bible myself and see if I could discover what the Bible itself actually taught about these things. I was really serious about it. The method I chose to employ was to read the Bible from Genesis through the Book of Revelation and write down every verse or passage that I believed spoke to the issue of the timing of the sequence of the Rapture of the Church with respect to the Great Tribulation. This took me eight months to accomplish. Once I had all of my notes, I copied them onto Post-it notes so that I could arrange them in a chronological sequence if something in the verse or passage had a clue about the order in which it fit with respect to the other verses and passages. This was done on a 4' x 8' sheet of particleboard laid out on a folding table. I tell you this in case you want to try this yourselves sometime to let you know what it takes and what you will be in for. My wife died recently and I myself am aging and have had some recent health issues. This has brought into focus the fact that my own time on earth may be limited. Actually this is true of every one of us, no one knows the time of their own death. You could have a stroke, or be in a car accident tomorrow. In Eschatology, the study of the last things, we usually think in terms of things prophesied in the Bible that are yet to come. Things like the Rapture of the Church, the Great Tribulation, the Second Coming of Jesus, Armageddon, the Millennium, these sorts of things. While many of us believe that Jesus could come at any moment, few of us really live as though we expect that to happen. We understand that it has been about 2000 years so far, and that casts some doubt our hearts and minds about whether he will really come today or tomorrow or even in a week or this year. Though I have always realized intellectually that my personal time on earth, my own life, could end in a moment, it is the events of this last year but it made me thoughtfully confront the reality of my limited time. What this means then is that no matter how delayed Jesus second coming might be, I will likely be face-to-face with Jesus within 10 or 20 years. Eschatology is then therefore not limited to the study of the last things predicted in the Bible, but we each have our own personal last days which are contained within our natural lifespans. Some people say that if it is true that Jesus will not be coming back until after the great tribulation that that removes the motivation to live as we should so that we will be found doing what we should be doing when he does return. I want to say to you that if that is what you think: "Shame on you!" The motivation to live correctly should not be a concern to not be caught failing to live as we should be living when Jesus comes at the end of the age. Jesus suffered and died on the cross for our sins. Gratefulness for our undeserved salvation should be more than enough motivation to live within the will of God without concern of the question of when Jesus will return. When we are not living correctly, we have already been 'caught'. The Holy Spirit is inside us if we are believers. God is omnipresent. Whatever we do, we drag Jesus with us. Nothing we do, nothing we say, nothing we think, goes unnoticed by God. So I think then, that for those of us who think that a pre-tribulation rapture of the church is a motivation to live rightly, with that thinking we are inclining ourselves to living wrongly. Rather than to live holy lives out of the gratitude we have for what Jesus has done for us - rather than live as dedicated servants who owe him everything - rather than realize that we are not our own but have been purchased - some of us shamefully take his grace as a license to sin because we know we have been forgiven. We live worldly lives because we think in our hearts that our master is delaying his return, even while we say with our lips He might return at any moment. Those of us who think and act in this manner are self deceived and we are hypocrites. In June of 2014, a couple months ago as I write this, I had the great privilege of delivering a sort of eulogy at my wife's memorial service. Gathered there were friends and family some of whom are believers, some who were not, and some who think they are believers and don't even understand what the difference is. It had been on my wife's heart for years that many of her family were likely destined to suffer in eternity. I know that like me, she was dissatisfied with the fact that it is easy to avoid speaking of spiritual things with loved ones because it feels awkward. Personally I feel shame that I have too often avoided that awkwardness and instead of demonstrating love by informing people of their peril, I have been willing to risk their eternal destiny for the sake of my temporary comfort . This is a great sin and I confess that as such and am attempting to repent of it. The eulogy I gave was the first significant step in telling people to re-examine their hearts and their lives and their need of salvation from their sins . This had been on my mind for years but having so many people as a captive audience at a time when the temporary nature of life was so obvious, was an opportunity that could not be passed up. What I was saying then was not just a recap of my wife's life, it was an expression of things that she had left unsaid. Confronting the fact that no matter how long it is before Jesus returns, it is true that we all have limited time left. So I realized that there are two kinds of the end times. There is the near-term end time which is represented by our limited lifespans, and there is the end times for mankind itself which began while Jesus still walked the earth and which we are in today as well. Both types of end times carry the same implications. Time is short, and there is a dying world out there that needs to understand that. Jesus himself near the end of his life told us to go out into the world and to preach the gospel to everyone. This was not a suggestion. Not just a nice idea. It's not optional. It is a command to every believer. Failing to do this is disobedience. It is sin. It is unloving. Penn Gillette, a self-professed atheist, said to the effect: "How much do you have to hate someone to believe that eternal life is possible and then not tell them how to obtain it?" I think those are pretty profound words on the topic for an atheist. It is too bad so many Christians don't get it. I have been one of them. So, in these last days of my own life I have determined to try to improve in a lot of things, but most specifically two things. The first is to be more active, perhaps even aggressive or at least assertive in evangelism. People need to understand that they are sinners. People need to know that their sin separates them from God. People need to understand that unless Jesus saves them from their sins, that separation from God is a permanent condition. They need to understand that that separation from God is a separation from everything good. Imagine if you will, what it would be like to spend eternity apart from good. Where there is no good, only evil remains. I believe that this concept of hell is accurate. I don't even like to think about it. When I try to imagine it, what I imagine is an eternity of suffering and pain, a despondent existence, a type of suffering worse than anything we have yet experienced in our lives while all the time knowing that this condition will be never ending and could have been avoided. What if life was so bad, that you never wanted to awaken, and you could never fall asleep again? If I really consider this all I can do is loathe my own evil and selfish heart, and at the same time feel an indebtedness and gratitude for the Savior who spares me from the eternity that I deserve and am apparently willing to let others earn for themselves. So, evangelism it is. I have to tell people. If I don't, I am a morally hideous monster. We do not need to have any special calling on our life to be ministers of the gospel. Where are all supposed to be evangelists. We do not have to wait for a leading of the Spirit to talk to a person about these things. We have already been told to just do it. Thing is when we realize what is at stake, we should not even have to be told. So then, the most important task that I have in my last days, the thing that I really want to be found doing when Jesus returns or when I go to be with Him if His return is delayed, it is to be telling others about God's love for them in the person of Jesus Christ who suffered and died for their sins to spare them from an eternity separated from God's love and goodness and filled with despair. When Jesus told us to go out into the world and preach the gospel to every creature he did not say to limit ourselves to evangelism. The purpose of evangelism is to make disciples, to make other followers of Jesus, and to teach them everything he taught us. One of the areas that Jesus taught about, that His apostles taught about, and that both Testaments of the Bible speak about frequently, are the end times and especially about warnings not to be deceived in them. So, because I have spent so much of the last three decades studying this area of Scripture, and because there are so many warnings not to be deceived, I feel a special responsibility to obey Jesus and tell other disciples about this topic because some are underinformed while others are deceived. I may at times sound arrogant due to the confidence I have in my understanding of eschatology, the study of the last things. I admit it, I am opinionated, passionate, and confident. When you put those three things together in one person, you have qualities which others may consider to be arrogance, maybe it is. Nevertheless I cannot in good conscience fail to attempt to pass on what I believe I have learned. I have been preparing questions for a trivia game on the topic of eschatology. While doing this I have been studying and reading the writings of others whose views are different than my own. There is one theologian in particular widely regarded as the foremost scholar on his particular viewpoint of eschatology. I have always had great respect for this man even though I disagree with him. He does deserve respect for his love of the Savior and his hard work and dedication to study. This is true of a lot of ordinary Christians as well. However after just having reviewed one of his books, I am finding so many unfounded presumptions, and faulty exercises and logic, that although I may respect his hard work, I have to reject his conclusions. Maybe I really am arrogant. However, even though I know this is redundant, I have to follow my convictions and make disciples, teaching them everything that Jesus taught his first disciples to teach other disciples in an ongoing chain until his return. Perhaps with this you can understand my focus. I hope that you can be patient with me while I am living out my faith and while the process of my own sanctification continues. I urge you, to also consider the shortness of time and make efforts to reach out to those you come in contact with and make a few disciples yourselves. Thanks for listening.
  6. Daily Reading 23 If you prefer, you can look up the following verses in your own Bible, of by whatever means and in whatever version you choose. Luke 18:1-17 Genesis 29:31-30:43 Psalm 23 Audio 5:27 Audio 9:~ Audio 0:53 The above addresses are linked to Bible Gateway. That is an easy way to read (or listen to) the Bible verses, and choose your version. Personally, I prefer written, that way I can go at my own pace, on think about it, before moving on. Nothing wrong with doing either or both. The Bible says faith comes by hearing. See the picture below to get an idea of what to expect if you follow the above links. Thank you Lord for making the your word so accessible for us in these times. Amen
  7. If someone doesn't know about Christ, and has never heard of Christ, then where do they go when they die? I can provide an example if requested.
  8. Is it true that when we die we "sleep" until the resurrection? Then judgement? Please explain
  9. So I have been thinking a lot about death with all these health issues. Truth is it could be anytime or a long ways off. Yes I am pretty ill, but I also know a guy who is still stubbornly living 20 years after a congestive heart failure diagnosis. He just freaking refuses to die. A lot can be said for the power of the human spirit. My husband put it very well: you can't go before your time even if you want or try to. I met a guy in the hospital who had six attempts in six months and was alive, sitting at the table with us. I was impressed and told him flat out there was a reason he was alive and he had to find it. Later that hospitalization, he found out his GF was pregnant with his child. He was gonna be a daddy. I have never forgotten that. You also can't prevent death when your number is up. When it is time to go, you go. And with very few exceptions, nobody knows when that is. So what does this have to do with me? Between spiritual attacks from evil people, (no not even going to attempt to explain that)and serious health issues negatively impacted and perhaps even caused by the evil people, a whole bunch of forces are converging to end me. The Lord Jesus Christ conquers all, but I am uncertain what He will choose to do here. I do know I have a lot of work yet to do, and I am also certain He will leave me here until I have accomplished it. But how long that is, I don't know. I think I struggle with this because I am in constant emotional pain, and this is connected to physical issues in that this stress makes them worse. Also I still, even after surrendering it to Jesus, struggle with suicidal thoughts. When the pain is really bad, I just want to quit and go to Heaven. But truth be told, I am near or at the peak of my usefulness to Him, so I need to stay and fulfill my destiny. I guess life for anyone is a battle. If I don't win mine, many people will be harmed, directly or indirectly. So I have to stay as long as He needs me to. I choose to do this. I type this with tears in my eyes. I feel so inadequate for this. But the Lord says His power is made perfect in weakness. So here we go. And if you also are struggling with suicidal thoughts, don't do it. OK? ❤ Love, Seren
  10. Daily Reading 39 If you prefer, you can look up the following verses in your own Bible, of by whatever means and in whatever version you choose. Hebrews 4:14-6:12 Genesis 49:1-50:26 Psalm 39 Audio 2:43 Audio 4:54 Audio 1:49 The above addresses are linked to Bible Gateway. That is an easy way to read (or listen to) the Bible verses, and choose your version. Personally, I prefer written, that way I can go at my own pace, on think about it, before moving on. Nothing wrong with doing either or both. The Bible says faith comes by hearing. See the picture below to get an idea of what to expect if you follow the above links. Note: The audio will not play the exact verses, it will play the whole chapters, in which the verses exist. Thank you Lord for making the your word so accessible for us in these times. Amen
  11. Daily Reading 21 If you prefer, you can look up the following verses in your own Bible, of by whatever means and in whatever version you choose. Luke 23:26-56 Genesis 42 Psalm 33 Audio 6:39 Audio 5:08 Audio 2:08 The above addresses are linked to Bible Gateway. That is an easy way to read (or listen to) the Bible verses, and choose your version. Personally, I prefer written, that way I can go at my own pace, on think about it, before moving on. Nothing wrong with doing either or both. The Bible says faith comes by hearing. See the picture below to get an idea of what to expect if you follow the above links. Note: The audio will not play the exact verses, it will play the whole chapters, in which the verses exist. Thank you Lord for making the your word so accessible for us in these times. Amen
  12. My new book, Faithless, will be published on December 20. The attachments describe what it's about, but I don't know how to find the people who would WANT to read it. I want to help people and this is my way of starting that. Any advice would be appreciated so much!
  13. Daily Reading 24 If you prefer, you can look up the following verses in your own Bible, of by whatever means and in whatever version you choose. Luke 18:18-43 Genesis 31 Psalm 24 Audio 5:27 Audio 7:47 Audio 1:13 The above addresses are linked to Bible Gateway. That is an easy way to read (or listen to) the Bible verses, and choose your version. Personally, I prefer written, that way I can go at my own pace, on think about it, before moving on. Nothing wrong with doing either or both. The Bible says faith comes by hearing. See the picture below to get an idea of what to expect if you follow the above links. Note: The audio will not play the exact verses, it will play the whole chapters, in which the verses exist. Thank you Lord for making the your word so accessible for us in these times. Amen
  14. Over the last several months, several loved ones have passed away, one of which chose to die at home and we were with him until the end. What really happens to us when we die? Do we go to be with Jesus or do we wait until he returns to call us home?
  15. Having experienced the torments of Hell, I can verify the legitimacy of this testimony, but more importantly, discernment tells me it's real and genuine. I encourage those who watch this not to go down a rabbit hole of Hell testimonies all at once, it can be overwhelming and very depressing, please be led by the Spirit by discerning the voice of God on all pursuits, but Jesus has taken people to experience these experiences for a reason. May you learn from these testimonies and be convicted (if necessary) and not condemned by responding to that conviction accordingly, (remember God chastises those He loves!) and may the Lord bless you mightily in Jesus' mighty name! Revelation 20:15: And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire. Luke 12:5: But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him! Romans 6:23: For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Revelation 21:8: But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”
  16. Revelation 14:13. Soul Sleep. The Jehovah's Witnesses teach "soul sleep" i.e. that a person ceases to exist at the point of death, until their recreated by Jehovah God on the paradise earth. That being so, why the dead said to be "happy" when they have no existence? However even their own (false) Bible reads at Revelation 14:13: "Happy are the dead who die in union with the Lord from this time onward."
  17. WHY MOURN, INSTEAD OF CELEBRATE THE DEAD IF DEATH BEGINS THE JOURNEY TO HEAVEN AND ETERNAL BLISS?
  18. From The Voice Of The Martyrs.... In Muslim nations today, speaking on a religious subject considered to be contrary to Islam can mean death. Ironically, Muslim worshipers face a death penalty themselves. The Bible teaches that the penalty for sin is spiritual death. Apart from Christ, everyone faces eternal death. Thankfully, however, Christ has paid the death penalty for all who believe, even Muslims. Jesus Christ took our place at the hand of the executioner by being crucified on a cross. His death enables us to have eternal life with God in heaven. Thank God today that your death sentence has been commuted and that you have been pardoned. And pray for those in Muslim nations who may kill Christians on earth, but without Christ, face their own eternal death. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23 (New International Version) Any (Kind) Thoughts? “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48 (New Living Translation) ~ Love, The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace. And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them. Numbers 6:24-27 (King James Bible) Your Brother Joe
  19. When you hear the word, "gospel", what do you think about? When I was about 15, I heard the word and didnt understand. First off, my family was Jehovah Witness, and we didnt celebrate anything. So later in life, I heard the words spoken by a "Mormon" and tried to grasp the meaning. For the Mormons, the gospel is their belief system. Since I know that there is nothing true about said religion, one must ignore their meaning, and dive headlong into scripture. So as a young Witness, what did I learn? Nothing much. And that was the sad thing. Yes, I went to school, and didnt have enough credits to graduate, but a few years later, I did get my GED...while I was in prison. Funny, I know, but that is where I received most of my education. How old was I? 24 when I went in, and 10 years later, here I am. But when I turned 29, I started to figure things out. I was not really doing much study until my 4th year in prison, and when I did pick up a book, I was happy. I was learning. Learning about things I never would have. Then, one day, I woke up and said to myself, "I really want to know what that bible is about." That was a few months after I saw the parole board. They had let me out after 3.5 years, and since I didnt agree with my 10 year sentence, I decided to run. But later my brother convinced me to turn myself in, so I did. I was given a one way ticket back to prison to finish my 6.5 years. And to this day, I am grateful. If he would not have asked me to, I would have never come to the understanding that I have now. And that is what I am talking about. This understanding is what the gospel REALLY is. We need to have a PERFECT understanding of it to be "in" Yashua. The death, burial, and resurrection, IS the gospel. That is what was hidden from past generations. Those who came before, didnt have a full understanding of what would take place. They were looking through a dark mirror. But for us, on this side of history, the mirror is clear. How earth shattering, and how important the gospel is. If it werent for the death, burial, and resurrection, we would be without hope. Why is baptism so important? Because it is the gospel. Death, burial, and resurrection. When we are baptized, we die to the old man, and are resurrected into the new man. It is not an outward expression of an inward devotion. Because it is not about show and tell. It is about do and die. The gospel is not only about telling others, but living by example. We MUST be born again. Being born again, is physically living the gospel. And the gospel is death, burial, and resurrection. This is the truth Yashua gave to Nicodemus.
  20. Please pray for me. With me. For my head is hung in shame as I ask for help. 3 months of bad luck has turned my world upside down. I am just a few short steps away from being homeless and in debt with 2 kids. I need a loan. i have started campaigns for it but I'd much rather borrow and pay back than be given a handout. But I am in desperation and at this Moment, there is little I won't do to keep food in my children's stomachs and a roof over their heads. I have no credit. I've always bought everything up front. No payday loans. No short term loans with 800% interest. Just a loan to be paid off over say a year or so. Or a personal lender to set their own deadlines. I'm desperate at the moment. I've never had to borrow from anybody before. So this is a horrible feeling for me and I'm humiliated by it. More details that won't fit in this. im in need of prayers. I'm in need of advice. And I am desperate for help. I know that I must hold onto faith, but I feel it slipping away. Once prideful, my humility has my head hung in shame as I beg for help and pray I have the strength to hold on to my faith.
  21. Every 5 seconds 9 people going to die,.,. 6 of them are not hear the gospel these 6 going to die without hearing gospel we need to hurry to do better we need to unite, pray, work together to work for these people who are lost
  22. In world there are many countries with low number of Christians These countries are called as 10/40 countries,., God need to do more things and need to open the doors for more christians please remember in prayers
  23. An Atheist’s View On Life I will live my life according to these beliefs God does not exist It is just foolish to think That there is a God with a cosmic plan That an all-powerful God brings purpose to the pain and suffering in the world It’s a comforting thought however Is only wishful...thinking People can do as they please without eternal consequences The idea that I am deserving of Hell Because of sin Is a lie meant to make me a slave to those in power The more you have the happier you will be Our existence has no grand meaning or purpose In a world with no God There is freedom to be who I want to be But with God Everything is fine It is ridiculous to think I am lost and in need of saving Versus A Christian’s View On Life (Now…read from bottom to top to see a different view.) I am lost and in need of saving It is ridiculous to think Everything is fine But with God There is freedom to be who I want to be In a world with no God Our existence has no grand meaning or purpose The more you have the happier you will be Is a lie meant to make me a slave to those in power Because of sin I am deserving of Hell The idea that People can do as they please without eternal consequences Is only wishful thinking Is a comforting thought, however That an all-powerful God brings purpose to the pain and suffering in the world That there is a God with a cosmic plan It is just foolish to think God does not exist I will live my life according to these beliefs ~ Author Unknown
  24. When I'm not depressed and distracting myself then I have to deal with the grief. I'm getting there though it still hurts like hell. Got Kris from church signed on now as some sort of mentor for me or something. Counselling is not gonna help right now making it all about me or whatever. Christian counselling on the other hand...I can list all the good things to come outta it and know Dad is completely healed and restored and not in pain. But it hurts so dam much and I prayed so dam hard and if God is as amazing and powerful as I know he is, he could have done these good things other ways. I know I'll never know the answers and trust God with whatever comes in the future. Not worried about anything, even if we have to move. But still mad that he let it happen. Satan and humans pigheadnesses caused all this brokenness but God could have prevented it. I just want my Dad and get very focused on myself. Church has adopted me know too. Apparently I am know administration...Now sure when I agreed to that but Friday mornings I fold the bulletins and make coffee and even do the prayer over the church directory and have me pray for some of the people as well. I'm telling you they are keeping a close eye on me. Father's day I cried the entire church service then slept until 5pm...I was glad to be at church though. it's very comforting now. For a while it seemed normal not having Dad around but my depression is lifting, not quite gone but getting there, and now of course I have feelings again...When I'm depressed it's almost impossible to put my thoughts and feelings into words despite how bad I may want to communicate. Easier to "show" people I guess so they feel a bit of what I'm feeling. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151700372136136&l=4357897968039702171 Dad got sick in December, pre-leukemia the doctors think and possible other kinds of cancer not detected. It moved so fast. We cared for him at home, there were no treatments to help and he hates the hospital. He passed away March 2nd so it's been four months today. I struggle to talk to others because I feel guilty for still being mad about it. I have seen SOOO much good come out of it and seen at ;east 5 people come to Christ during his last days. My Dad's cousin Lloyd passed away last month from the same condition. We rent our house which is currently up for sale. My older brother is getting a divorce and has had a kidney stone for the last 2 weeks. Both David and Nicki have lost so much weight from the stress. David has been trying so hard to follow God but Nicki refuses to try and fix their marriage. It's tearing the kids apart the atmosphere is so toxic so David is seeing a divorce lawyer but trying to continue to seek God through it all. Kailey at 17 refuses to have anything to do with her Mom who has pulled away from everyone and faith and spends every weekend partying. I just want her to wake up before she loses the relationship she has with her other 2 kids. Cole 13 is starting to get annoyed with his Mom and Haidyn 9 is constantly in tears and stressed. My aunt who has been doing amazing for years on the same meds is now struggling for bipolar depression. My grandpa is getting dementia and is getting weaker and is miserable with everyone. God blessed me with allowing me to be at my best for my Dad's last months, feeling happy and myself. The bipolar is back is full swing now and lost sight of hope that depression is only temporary. What a year. Honestly cannot see how anyone could make it through any of this without God's strength to stay standing and his hold on your hand to keep your feet from falling, one step at a time. I don't wanna be depressed anymore. I want to feel close to God again without thinking this isn't fair because although I don't understand his ways I really do trust his judgment. Much more reliable than mine when I'm up one moment and down the next. He sent his son to die on the cross and my Dad is now completely healed and restored in heaven. The best thing I could ask for besides one more day with him. Though I know all this and believe all this, I still have all these jumbled up feelings inside. I know being bipolar makes me more susceptible to depression and I'm in the middle of grieving. But I feel like I'm letting God down...
  25. I was reading a thread where one person opined that God does not cause sickness, that things like heart attacks just happen with age. I did not interject a different opinion, as it might have diverted the threads actual topic, which was not a discussion of the theology of sickness or God's role in things we consider unpleasant. In any case, my mind jumped to the question, is it true that God does not cause sickness? A number of passages came to my mind in vague terms, so I looked them up to see them anew. The first that came to my mind was Exodus 4:11: The LORD said to him, "Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? while on that same page I noticed this: Exodus 4: 6 The LORD furthermore said to him, "Now put your hand into your bosom." So he put his hand into his bosom, and when he took it out, behold, his hand was leprous like snow. and thinking of Moses, I recalled Num 12: 9 : So the anger of the LORD burned against them and He departed. 10 But when the cloud had withdrawn from over the tent, behold, Miriam was leprous, as white as snow. Now, we might come up with the idea that these leprosy one are exceptions and I would agree, these were special cases for special purposes. Still, if this is not God causing them who is? I know that some will say ( at least to themselves if not here on the forums) : "but that was the old testament God, He got angry a lot, but He mellowed out for the New Testament". So let's go there: In the book of acts (you porbably know the story, if not, look it up) we see: acts 5:4 Why is it that you have conceived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to men but to God." 5 And as he heard these words, Ananias fell down and breathed his last . . . ... Then Peter said to her, "Why is it that you have agreed together to put the Spirit of the Lord to the test? Behold, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out as well." 10And immediately she fell at his feet and breathed her last, and the young men came in and found her dead, and they carried her out and buried her beside her husband. Now I know this is not sickness, it is only death after all, and it doesn't say that God did it, but I doubt Peter did it either, do we just suppose it was a coincidence that they died? Since they wern't sick, let's look elswhere: 1 cor 11 28 But a man must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not judge the body rightly. 30 For this reason many among you are weak and sick, and a number have died. Again, I know you sharp theological lawyers can point out it does not say God did it, moving on . . . john 9:2 And His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?" 3Jesus answered, "It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him. I don't know how you understand that, but that sounds to me like God had this man born blind, to serve His puropses, and why not, after all, Pauls points out in Romans 9: The thing molded will not say to the molder, "Why did you make me like this," will it? 21Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use? 22What if God, although willing to demonstrate His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction? This last one is not an example of God making people ill, malformed, or killing them, it is about His sovereignty His absolute right to do with His creation, just as He pleases, and not have to answer to His creation for His actions. If God does these things, He does them for His reasons, His righteius reasons, and whether we like them or not, they are good. You know, when a child does something wrong, really wrong, it is not uncommon for the mother to go into a state of denial. "Oh, my Johnny would never do anything like that, he is a good boy. A man commits some greivous sin, a serious crime, often those who know him do not believe it, they want for him to be innocent, but they have never really known him as he is sometimes, they just see one side of him. Sometimes a woman willk marry a man, all her friends warned her about him, that he is not right for her, there is something about him that they can see, that is not good, but she is blinded by her love for him, often to regret it once she gets to know him in marriage. If these cases are true in human relationships, how much more true is it when we want to come to God's defense when He is accused of wrongdoing? The problem is not in us wanting to defend Him, it is that we refuse to see Him as He is, and we remake Him into a God of how we think he ought to be. It is not that we are wrong to defend Him, it is that we are wrong to think of what he does, as wrong, not matter how it appears to us. God, is always right, in Him no evil exists. Now, back to the original comment that got me going in the first place - That God does not do these thing, and illness can come about just becuase the body deteriorates with age . . . if that is true, and I am not denying that, why is it the case in the first place. Is not the deterioration of aging, a part of the curse, that God placed on the creation in the first place? If so, how can we say, God did not do it? It is o.k. I think that we can say that some things that we do not like, are God's doing, but we mustn't accuse God of wrong doing, just because we do not like that outcome. Thoughts and comments invited, agreement or contrary opinions, even valid correction would be awesome, so, do I have this all wrong?
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