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First let me start by saying this is not about me, but my good friend who I will call Karen. So Karen has been with her husband for maybe 16 years, they have two boys ages 10 and 12. Their relationship has always been very rocky. She tells me that he lacks empathy, stays up really late on his phone and wont come to bed, has a temper and lashes out, and whines and guilts her into being intimate. She on the other hand can not apologize, is proud and wont admit her wrongs, she also has a temper. I have seen him parked around town texting, and he was let go from a few teaching jobs because of being inappropriate with teenage girls. I have been friends with her for probably 10 years, I have seen them going around in circles. Things get really bad to the point she almost leaves, and then they do counseling with couples from church, or she makes the same guy from church talk to him to try and change him. Things go.. ok for a little bit, but they both wont change. He does all the christian things, they even led a marriage bible study together. Recently they got into a big fight waiting for their boys to get out of Awana, and he just got out of the car and walked away in the dark, her and her boys drove around looking for him for a long long time, she had to call for help to find him, which they finally did. Her boys were crying and now afraid he will do that again. This past week she told me she wanted to leave, but she financially cant because she is a stay at home mom, and he wont let her take the boys because she is "abusive", apparently he was yelling and calling her names. She left to stay at her parent's home for a few days. She is setting up a meeting between the guy from church to talk some sense into him. And so the cycle continues. I have a coffee date with her on Saturday. My question is at what point does she separate? How do you know if they will never change? Her mental and physical health is failing because of the stress. How do I advise her? How many chances does she give him? Does she stay for the next 50 years with him never changing and her becoming a shell of a person? Thank you

Are we living in a society that presumes all things are inclusive for one another? All inclusive meaning, "if you are not educated about the facts, some imbecile is going to try and provoke you, then steal your position as they are very likely coveting you. They can only break in and steal the house with someone uneducated by the law. The commandments of the "sermon on the mount?" Can our society continue to divorce each other and not commit trespasses while remarrying? Test the Spirits, these are the laws of the prophets. 1 Corinthians 14:32. Revelation 1:4 John to the seven churches that are in Asia: Grace to you and peace from him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven spirits who are before his throne,

Writing this has taken a great deal of courage on my part. But I’m stuck and so confused right now. I’m going to do my best to summarize this situation while also trying to leave out any details. My husband and I met in middle school. We were 14 years old. We were allowed by our parents to “date” a few months after the attraction started. My husband comes a pastoral home. Most of his family members are Pentecostals that follow every rule to point of preaching and practicing religiousness instead of a true love for Christ. I am an only child. Parents were divorced before I turned 1. My mom had a few boyfriends, only two moved in. The second being my step dad that basically helped raise me after the age of 11. My husband and I had some issues while dating. We were so young. Arguments created by jealousy mostly but we were very young and these were never red flags. We never thought twice about getting married right out of high school. Hormones were ragging and we didn’t want to fall into fornication. Yet, as mentioned before he was alway very persuasive and convinced me many times to do other sorts sexual acts before marrying. I always spoke up and said it wasn’t right and we were sinning but his persistence was strong and I always gave in. I always felt so guilty but I kept doing it to avoid having to hear the persistence. In hindsight, I was very weak minded. We were engaged by 16 and married by 18. I had lots of push back from my mom. She warned me so many times that I was too young and didn’t know what live was but I was so madly “in love” that I didn’t hear her warnings. We were leaders in church because that’s just what pastors kids do. I was introverted and he was very very social. I always blended into the background and was often told I needed to change my habits of being quiet. That I wouldn’t get across to any youth members by being shy. That pattern of being subtlety told I was not doing a good job led to many insecurities. Sexually, it had to be at his time and when he wanted it. God forbid id fall asleep or say not tonight! That would into to hour long discussions about how that meant I didn’t love him if couldn’t wake up for it or if I could so easily say I didn’t want it that night. I would speak up and say I’m just tired it has nothing to do with not loving you. But my words were always followed by another persuasive argument. Eventually, I learned to submit and have sex even if I didn’t want it just to avoid an argument. Eventually, I convinced myself I was wrong and I should want to have sex when he does. I put up with this emotional abuse for years, either by persuasion, manipulation, narcissistic thinking, verbal abuse and more. Yet, in front of everyone he was the most loving affection husband. He really was and still is extremely affectionate but it’s all physical. Behind the scenes I battled for emotional and spiritual well being. There were zero boundaries….ZERO! Space was never an option. We had to argue for as long as he wanted to. I’d beg for space and time and never got it because he thought a marriage is not solved by space. We solved things arguing until I gave in. Fast forward with two kids later. His narcissistic behavior only got worse. By this point I was numb and truly believed every word he said, did everything he said. I started to become depressed and my self esteem was non existent. All the while I was clueless to the critical issues going on in my marriage. I knew something was wrong but we argued about it and I’d give in. Endless cycle. His need for sex and affection got worse as the years passed. Eventually he persuaded me have a threesome with a girl from church. We started having drinks hidden from everyone because no one could know we drank alcohol or we would be kicked out of church and we would dishonor his parents as pastors. The pressure to meet expectations was real. We had sex with her many times over the course of 1 year. She would go home and we would go to church the next day. He would become jealous of her and I. He would scream and tell me I loved her and not him. That I enjoyed her more in bed. One time he was so angry he grabbed me by my neck and shoved against a door to prove to me that loved her. But then he couldn’t stop himself from instigating another night with her. I fought him so many times on this. Telling him I felt guilty. It was sin. We were liars in front of our congregation and before God we looked like clean cups on the outside while the inside was filthy. The fights and issues around this weren’t worth it. But he didn’t listen and continued to pressure me to have another night with her. That led to us both having some sort of side relationship with her even though we both denied it. For years after that we continued this on and of thing with this girl. There was always toying around with her in some aspects although we stopped having sex with her. Pornography was the only way we could get each other to be turned on most of the times we had sex. We became main pastors of a church after his parents persuaded him that it was his calling. The wages of sin is death and our marriage has been dead for years. We have now been married for 16 years and been together for 20. I see now that we always tried to satisfy our need of God with other things in the world. There were so many hidden sins slowly killing us and our marriage and no one knew a thing. Arguments were worse. His narcissistic ways worse. The love bombing and gaslighting were worse, always been there but worse. No of us willing to get help for fear of shame. I was so blinded by his manipulation and persuasive ways that I no longer had a voice for myself. I believed I was worth nothing even to God. Too much sin was allowed to invade our marriage. I recently had an affair with a man. Entirely emotional never sexual. It lasted just a couple months but he was the trigger that led me me to open my eyes to the emotional abuse I had endured for so long. He was gentle, never overbearing, always understanding. We had an emotional relationship that I cannot explain. It felt to right and so easy. I was and still very emotionally attached to him. None of us went out looking for each other, we were coworkers turned into friends and with time that turned into heavy feelings for each other which we both confessed to. We never spoke about sex or about leaving our significant others. We knew is was wrong but emotionally we couldn’t let go as fast as we should have. The affair now has ended but emotionally I still need him yet I try to pray and distract myself when thoughts come to my mind. I have now confessed this to my husband and asked for space to think things though. My marriage is crumbled. My husband now sees his faults and says he is going to fix them all. He’s love bombing me but still giving me space by sleeping in another room. He is unable to comprehend space and boundaries. We are both going to therapy separately and speaking to our current pastors, not his parents. He wants to save our marriage at all costs. I in the other feel like my eyes have been opened to a new reality. A reality where I can free to do as I wish without retaliation. A reality where I can find God and depend on God alone and stop searching for my husbands approval for everything I do and choice I make. I’m checked out and really think this marriage is far from fixable. Of course, God can do all things but the amount of work that we need it put into fixing this while at the same time fixing our very broken relationship with God are just too much for me to process. I want a fresh start at life, at love one day very far ahead, at meeting and depending on God, at finding myself, at learning how to love myself. I feel like I’ve grown from in 20 years. My mind and mentally are so different. Sexually I cringe at knowing I have to have sex with him if I don’t end things now. My kids matter most to me. They’ll be devastated if we get a divorce. The backlash from family and friends upon me for choosing this will be basically unbearable. Do I chose my happiness and rely solely on Jesus to make a way for me and my kids or do I give in to his ways and try to give this another shot. I have fallen out of love and made myself love him again so many times during our marriage. I do want to force myself to fall in love again. It will never be love again. Will it? I need advice!!!

I would like to know what the Bible calls covenant marriage. Some say if a marriage is held in a Church i.e inviting Jesus to this union, it is a covenant marriage. Some say if two consummate it makes covenant. Some say a marriage that is done in a Church and consummated is a covenant marriage. If a believer falls for a non-believer and gets married in a civil court or somewhere other than church but for some reasons they couldn’t consummate the marriage, will this be called a covenant marriage? 2nd question sometime after their marriage the non-believing spouse also becomes believer but still they couldn’t consummate, will this still qualify for covenant marriage? 3rd question shall either of these divorce their spouse stating non-consummation as a reason according to Bible?

Why wouldn't a husband leave you alone if they refuse to respect a boundary that they are well aware of? Is that grounds for a divorce? What if you want to leave but they just keep on coming back; him and his family making it impossible for you to move on in a healthy manner?

I am 10 years into a relationship, and very much in love, with a Christian. It was our intention to spend the rest of our life together. But he has recently gone through trauma that deepened his relationship to Christ and now wants a Christian marriage. I am not Christian or called by Jesus. As it stands now, are we one flesh? (Mark 10:6-8) Can I be saved by him? (Corinthians 7:12-16) Would staying together constitute a new choice to be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14?) Would leaving each other constitute adultery? (Matthew 19:9) He wants to wait for me to find Jesus. I am pretty certain that won't happen. Please, someone, help me find the answers I seek. (So far, in other places that I've asked, people have responded by trying to convert me. And I'm totally happy to go through that exercise, with an open mind, again and again. But it would be really great if I could also receive answers to my questions.)

How is divorce or getting a divorce a spiritual work? How do you know if you are truly and fully divorced from a person?

I am new in reading the Bible, and last night I read this passage that made me close the book and start crying. In Matthew 5:32, Jesus denounces divorce, stating that any man who divorces his wife other than for adultery, has caused her to become and adulteress. I got divorced after 12 years for reasons other than adultery. I'm discouraged in reading this, because it basically means that I will never be honored with another relationship blessed by God, even if it is with a Godly man, because I have become an adulteress through my divorce. I am only 32 and this is extremely depressing. Any thoughts or words of encouragement on this?

Hi family. i married my wife at a point where i was desperate to get my greencard. However she was married before & got divorced because according to her, her hisband was not treating her right & she made effort for counselling but he did not change. She claimed he was cheating but with no specific evidence except gor the text messages she found on his phone. we met & dated for 3months and been married going 4months now. She loves me a lot & we understand eachother very much. I did pray to God to show me if it was going to be a wrong decision before i went but i didnt seem to hear anything from God. I remember the pastor who counselled us asked us, on a scale of 1-10 how much do we want to get married. I said "honestly, a 7" & she said 8. I do my best everyday to be a good person & fearing God. Looking back, my conscience pricks me because deep deep down in me, i was in it for my papers. However, My papers is yet to arrive but i want to ask for forgiveness from her, her parents & God and return to my home country. Is it right in the sight of God? Is it still a sin regardless? Can i be free from her after confessing?

I feel like I made a bad decision in marrying my husband. I believe he has a mental impairment and although he is a teacher he is slow to process information and behaves inappropriately. I have son with him who has a developmental delay which I believe he will overcome. Hisfamily doesn't like me. Hismother is weird and horrible to me. One of his brothers had alabel of mental retardation and overcame it. I didn't truly realize all these things until I gotmarried to him and I can not imagine having another child with him or building a life especially since my in laws treat me horribly. I am miserable

I need help that only God can give me, strength that I don't have, joy and peace that has been shaken, and I'm fighting fear, which is not of God. It's been a week since my wife left me. She had distanced herself from me and I confronted her and, long story short, she said that she didn't want this. She said that she doesn't want to be married anymore. This came out of nowhere and it completely rocked my world. She wants a different type of life. She says that she's missed out on some things and she wants to pursue them without the entanglements of commitment or the weight of marriage. But she has not asked for divorce. She's been out of the house sleeping at a friend's house who has a vacant room. To keep the kids secure, she's coming in before they wake up so that she can take them to school; then she picks them up and is here until my 11yr old goes to bed for the night; then she's gone. We went to church as a family and also shared Thanksgiving, however that was the worse thanksgiving I've ever had. This is a satanic attack and he wants to destroy my marriage, kids, and ministry. I instantly saw my children's future and it frightened and saddened me. I've explained this to her, but she's blinded by the enemy. I love her so deeply. I am depressed, lonely and sad. I fought for understanding and tried every logical and theological argument that she would tolerate. FTR, I don't believe she's sleeping around. She's a descent woman and she loves the Lord, but she's seduced by Satan and doesn't know it. Her heart has grown hard and cold to the influence of God's word. God has revealed to me that she will be back, but the pain doesn't go away...the fear doesn't either. I just gave it to God and told her that I won't stress her anymore over it. I told her that I would support her aspirations, and I would be here for her in whatever way she needed me to reach her goals. But this is so risky and I know it's an satanic attempt to rip our lives apart. Without God's intervention I'm witnessing the beginning of the end of my marriage. This hurts beyond description. I don't know what to do other than cry, support her and love her pray for her. Anything else will only serve to drive a wedge between us. There's still a connection and there's still hope. I'm open to ideas or testimonies that may give me hope. I don't understand, and I'm severely depressed. I don't eat and I've lost 10 lbs since she told me last week. I'm praying that everything falls back in place. Pray that I be the man that she needs. Pray that she has the success that she needs while our marriage is still intact, so that she won't think that even with this Arrangement it still is an obstacle that needs to be removed. Pray that God softens her heart and restore her affection for me. Pray that the Lord bring restoration to our relationship. Of course my heart is broken. I am devastated. I am undone. But I believe that the effectual fervent prayer of the righteous will avail. I believe that if we ask and I will receive my wife back. I need prayer for strength so that I can endure this. Thank you, pray my strength in the Lord.

I am a parent who is a victim of parent alienation. I am interested in other Christian parents who may be going through a similar experience.

I have been searching this forum on this topic of remarriage but could not find any discussions or info about it. I have been extensively trying to find the truth about this topic only to end up with several different opinions from people (and many of them are biased also), but actually there can only be one truth. The other problem of this topic is that there are so many different situations one can find themselves in and on the other hand there is not a lot of scripture explaining in detail every situation. The general question is: Can a divorced person remarry? Except what is stated to be obvious in scripture, like if their spouse dies they are free to remarry, let's focus on the situation were one is either divorcing or being divorced and from the viewpoint of a divorced man and then of a divorced woman (there seems to be a difference mentioned in scripture). Can a divorced man remarry? Can a divorced woman remarry? When is remarriage OK, if at all and why or why not, in both situations of a man and a woman being divorced and being the one divorcing. I also don't want to talk about divorce being not the will of God and that God's hates divorce, that is a given. Please back up every comment with scripture, I don't want just your opinion, it has to be based on the word of God. Please do include if possible any cultural background information in light of scripture of the times it was written in that might help to understand the meaning of the scripture and how it applies to the current times (since the Word of God is timeless but it helps at times to know the background info). Also word studies in the original language that help to understand the meaning of a scripture in better detail than the english translation is welcome. God bless!

I do not see a divorce section here. Have I simply overlooked it? In any case, I am in a situation where divorce is inevidible. I was married for nearly two decades and for the past two years, wife was determined to distroy it. And she did. Cheating is a deal breaker at some point. You may get past it the first time, but at some point you can no longer deal with it. I never thought my marriage would end this way. I assumed that we would terrorize an old folk's home together. Now I feel the 'ol "darn if I do and darn of I dont." In some circles, I will be rejected for my divorce. If I remarry, I would be rejected in other circles. What has been some of you divorceesed experiences? Please share. I can say that has been the most painful experience of my life. We do need a section that deals with this sbject and offers support

praying.

When I'm not depressed and distracting myself then I have to deal with the grief. I'm getting there though it still hurts like hell. Got Kris from church signed on now as some sort of mentor for me or something. Counselling is not gonna help right now making it all about me or whatever. Christian counselling on the other hand...I can list all the good things to come outta it and know Dad is completely healed and restored and not in pain. But it hurts so dam much and I prayed so dam hard and if God is as amazing and powerful as I know he is, he could have done these good things other ways. I know I'll never know the answers and trust God with whatever comes in the future. Not worried about anything, even if we have to move. But still mad that he let it happen. Satan and humans pigheadnesses caused all this brokenness but God could have prevented it. I just want my Dad and get very focused on myself. Church has adopted me know too. Apparently I am know administration...Now sure when I agreed to that but Friday mornings I fold the bulletins and make coffee and even do the prayer over the church directory and have me pray for some of the people as well. I'm telling you they are keeping a close eye on me. Father's day I cried the entire church service then slept until 5pm...I was glad to be at church though. it's very comforting now. For a while it seemed normal not having Dad around but my depression is lifting, not quite gone but getting there, and now of course I have feelings again...When I'm depressed it's almost impossible to put my thoughts and feelings into words despite how bad I may want to communicate. Easier to "show" people I guess so they feel a bit of what I'm feeling. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151700372136136&l=4357897968039702171 Dad got sick in December, pre-leukemia the doctors think and possible other kinds of cancer not detected. It moved so fast. We cared for him at home, there were no treatments to help and he hates the hospital. He passed away March 2nd so it's been four months today. I struggle to talk to others because I feel guilty for still being mad about it. I have seen SOOO much good come out of it and seen at ;east 5 people come to Christ during his last days. My Dad's cousin Lloyd passed away last month from the same condition. We rent our house which is currently up for sale. My older brother is getting a divorce and has had a kidney stone for the last 2 weeks. Both David and Nicki have lost so much weight from the stress. David has been trying so hard to follow God but Nicki refuses to try and fix their marriage. It's tearing the kids apart the atmosphere is so toxic so David is seeing a divorce lawyer but trying to continue to seek God through it all. Kailey at 17 refuses to have anything to do with her Mom who has pulled away from everyone and faith and spends every weekend partying. I just want her to wake up before she loses the relationship she has with her other 2 kids. Cole 13 is starting to get annoyed with his Mom and Haidyn 9 is constantly in tears and stressed. My aunt who has been doing amazing for years on the same meds is now struggling for bipolar depression. My grandpa is getting dementia and is getting weaker and is miserable with everyone. God blessed me with allowing me to be at my best for my Dad's last months, feeling happy and myself. The bipolar is back is full swing now and lost sight of hope that depression is only temporary. What a year. Honestly cannot see how anyone could make it through any of this without God's strength to stay standing and his hold on your hand to keep your feet from falling, one step at a time. I don't wanna be depressed anymore. I want to feel close to God again without thinking this isn't fair because although I don't understand his ways I really do trust his judgment. Much more reliable than mine when I'm up one moment and down the next. He sent his son to die on the cross and my Dad is now completely healed and restored in heaven. The best thing I could ask for besides one more day with him. Though I know all this and believe all this, I still have all these jumbled up feelings inside. I know being bipolar makes me more susceptible to depression and I'm in the middle of grieving. But I feel like I'm letting God down...

Hello everyone! This is a question for those who have gotten remarried after a divorce (either biblical or not), I am deathly afraid that after I remarry the Holy Spirit will leave me. I am afraid of this because I read that remarriage after divorce is a constant state of adultery which you can not repent of, and no adulterers will enter the Kingdom of heaven. My question is: after you got remarried do you feel like the Holy Spirit left you? Do you feel any different? Maybe more spiritually dry or less saved? I am afraid that after I sign that paper the Holy Spirit will immediately leave me and I will be spiritually dead. I have been in torment over this for months now. I was engaged a few months ago...the wedding date was for July 6th, but I called it off because of all this. When I got my divorce a few years ago I was not a Christian, neither is my ex. He committed adultery while we were still married. And now I love a Christian man that I believe God brought into my life, either to test me by tormenting me with wanting to marry him, or He brought him into my life to marry. He actually was the one that lead me to the Lord 2 years ago. The following is copied from an email I sent to a friend....I was too lazy to retype it all here! I have been reading a ton of articles and commentaries by pastors about remarriage after divorce. Some say that if someone remarries then they MUST get a divorce or else they are going to hell! They say this based on the scripture that says "no adulterers will inherit the Kingdom of God" and some other pastors say that that scripture applies to those NOT saved, we have been washed by the blood. And there is scripture that says "all manner of sins will be forgiven....except blasphemy of the Holy Spirit" some say that that would be someone who is remarried and ignores the conviction of the Holy Spirit to repent and divorce and some say that blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is repeatedly cursing Him and knowing that you are doing it. So this is just driving me crazy! So, lets just say that remarriage is ALWAYS adultery and that the people involved are going to hell, this is what it entails (and why I think it doesn't make sense!) this means.... 1.) Anyone who has remarried and their ex spouse is still alive, is going to hell along with their new spouse. 2.) You have to pray that your ex spouse dies before you or your current spouse does that way you can go to heaven, based on the belief that remarriage is only permissible if the ex is dead. If me and Jim got married we would have to hope Brian dies so our marriage would no longer be adultery and we can go to heaven. 3.) Before you witness to someone it would be a good idea to ask them "are you currently remarried after a divorce?" and if they reply "yes" then you don't have to witness to them because they are damned to hell anyways no matter what. 4.) When Jesus gave His sermons those in the audience that were remarried had to go and get a divorce so that they could be true believers in Christ and go to heaven. 5.) As soon as someone remarries they immediately forfeit their salvation and the Holy Spirit leaves them, they become spiritually blind and stop believing in Jesus, they stop hungering for Him as well, they become spiritually dead and dry. I have yet to hear of any Christian remarriage testimonies, but it would be interesting to hear if they "felt" anything different inside after getting remarried, if maybe they felt the Holy Spirit leave them. 6.) If remarriage after divorce is really so black and white that would mean king Xerxes and Esther are in hell right now because he put away his wife and married Esther, so they were both committing adultery. Or was this one of God's special exceptions to the rule? 7.) If a woman's husband went away to war and wasn't heard from for 20 years and is presumed dead, but by some miracle turns up alive and she is remarried by that time would she be going to hell along with her spouse? Unless the first husband dies before they do thereby setting her free from the law. 8.) Theoretically you could hire someone to kill your ex to set your free from that "bond" and repent of course, and then marry and it would be ok? Because as long as he is dead you are free to remarry. You could pull a king David. (don't worry, not tempted!) 9.) It is better for me and Jim to be boyfriend and girlfriend and be intimate with each other, committing single acts of fornication than to get married and commit one long continuous act of adultery and be cast into hell. This sounds crazy, but some Christians are actually doing this because they fear getting remarried! They just "repent" after each time! They are opting to just have live-in boyfriend/girlfriends or even sleep around because they would rather sin here and there rather than be living in a sinful lifestyle choice. This might all boil down to two questions...what is blaspheming the Holy Spirit? And can someone lose their salvation? Thank you everyone for reading this, I know it was long, but I have been tormenting and troubled by this for a long time. I just want to be at peace about it. I feel convicted that it is a sin, but not so much that it is an unpardonable sin. God bless! Natalie