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Found 8 results

  1. My A.D.D. was quiet for almost 4 years. It has returned worse than ever, and I am in severe trouble at work for multiple mistakes caused by symptoms of my ADD. I m back on medication and other coping mechanisms, but they are not helping. This is not the first time I have had to start from scratch due to my ADD. I need this to be the last time. Please pray that God will heal me and bring me a new job, or help me redeem my current one. I appreciate your prayers.
  2. Please pray for a friend of mine. She was unable to keep any food or liquid don for several weeks. She did not have the flu. She is waiting on the results of a biopsy. Pray for healing. Thank you
  3. So I just wanted to update all of you about illnesses. What I have is very serious, and indeed I am also kinda on the border of chronic kidney disease along with everything else. HOWEVER, my docs are encouraging me that if I do the right things, I can get my health back or at least be healthier. So please pray that I can obey my doctors, and that God's will would be done when it comes to these illnesses. Thank you so much!!
  4. So I have a new diagnosis of Pickwickian Syndrome. It's a potentially deadly combination of obesity, chronic respiratory failure, and sleep apnea (all of which apply to me). The treatments are CPAP and lose weight. This could be reversed best case scenario, or I could die of it or complications of it. Not good news. Please pray for me. Thanks.
  5. OK so just going to pour my heart out here, both so you can see and to organize my thoughts. On December 20, 2017, on a routine office visit, my PCP diagnosed me with hypoxemic chronic respiratory failure. It's as scary as it sounds. The prognosis is very bad: there is no cure, it is progressive, and you know what happens when you stop breathing. The only possible hope here is that MAYBE my PCP diagnosed it so Medicare would pay for oxygen (policy change is possible), but the bad news is that even having it on my chart indicates I am DEFINITELY not healthy. I am on disability for more than one illness; I definitely cannot work. It's so bad I got disability on my first try, and they check every few years to see if I have improved, but mostly they leave me alone. Because of this, my husband and I moved in with his parents because he could not take care of me on his own. 18 years later, husband's issues are worse (he works full time but other things are hard), and in-laws are in their early 70's. No amount of trying to help me with my various issues, which include physical mobility issues, is going to make my husband not sick himself or my in-laws younger. My own family is not an option. So we are looking at assisted living for me. The family who know (including husband and his parents) are 100% behind the idea. I initiated this, so no one is pressuring me. I am looking at moving out of the home I have lived in for 18 years and not living with my husband, which is a painful thing to contemplate. But I can't take adequate care of myself and they cannot either, so this is it I am pretty sure. I meet with my doctor Friday to find out what she was thinking when she made that diagnosis, and also to discuss my recent ER visit where I had some scary symptoms. The ER ultimately didn't find anything, but all they do is determine: 1) is the patient in immediate danger of dying? and 2) do we need to hospitalize them? If the answer to both those questions is no, they send you home. It doesn't mean you're NOT sick. So it looks like I may see Jesus sooner than I expected. How do I feel about this? Well on one hand, yay seeing Jesus and eternal life! OTOH, I only have NOW to make a difference. This is why a long life is a blessing: more opportunities to serve the Lord. So I am sorta mixed about this. I will follow up after I see the doc and we figure out what need to be done. Please pray for this whole situation. Thank you SO much.
  6. Hello. I am not sure I am even asking a question, as just feeling down and out and maybe hoping to connect with some good-minded and good-souled people out there. I'm a Christian by faith but admit I have fallen away from my faith in the past several years. I grew up in a very heavy-handed religiousity-ladden home, entirely from my mom's side, where it was in hindsight a really cultist mindset that manipulated people based on fear of hell. There was very little encouraging, uplifting spirituality that was at all centered on Christ's teaching. I mentioned this only because I broke away from that late in life, the constant anticipation of God's eminent wrath about to unpredicatbly decend upon me following me. For me, now older, I want that God I knew as a child. The one you felt and knew was real when you just woke up and breathed or went outside and saw the sky. Existence itself is enough testiment to a deeply spiritual nature that is an unheard song and praise of God. But life has a way of eroding that feeling, and I realized as I've gotten older, I take much for granted now. But this has recently been challenged by the fact my mother has terminal cancer and literally on her death bed. My sister and I have been the primary caregivers of my mom, fighting the system to get her what she needs in terms of medicare. My father, who is now old himself but still works is and has been utterly uselsss. We grew up in a very abusive household with him, cursing, screaming, and debasing my mother. It was mostly emotional and psychological abuse, but there was a brief period when he was drinking and became physically abusive with my mom. I was no older than 5 when I remember he assaulted my mom, a God-fearing woman, who was very subdued in many ways, but had enough with him and threw a small but heavy clock radio at him and went after him with a hammer, threatening him if he ever put his hand on her, she'd have him arrested and thrown out. The police came and even though my father was bleeding badly from his back fromt he radio cutting him, they were going to arrest him for battery. He pleaded and my mother intervened on his behalf. He was not arrested and swore he'd change. But of course he never did. My mother got caught up into a horrible cult of "Christians" that were lead more by fear of eternal damnation than of celebrating the existence of God's creation. For our part, me and my sister kept away as far as possible from our dad, but I was his primary target, often slapped, and had glass cups and items hurled at me. I know its pathetic being an adult man and still carrying this unresolved anger from my childhood, but now when I see my father and he opens his mouth to us and curses, all those childhood memories come flooding into my mind. I wish I could turn it off. I still remember the large glass tropicana half gallon bottle filled with water being hurled at me, when I awoke in the middle of a hot summer night after my father came home drunk and was cursing my mother in the kitchen. I went to her defense telling him to leaver her alone. I narrowly got away from the exploding pieces of glass that flew by me when the bottle smashed against the doorway. Then there was the hot coffee he threw at my face when a young teenager when I dared to stand up to him. But that was nothing compared to the horrible things, deeply sexually degrading things, he would say to us. My mom was called everything under the sun, and soon her own spirit was eroded by this man. She fell away from her own belief of God at one time, which deeply bothered me. My sister was called horrible things, and I was called terrible things. He became increasingly phsyically abusive with me until at around 15, I had enough. He grabbed me around the neck and was choking me. I flung his hangs off of me and hurled him through the bathroom door. He went careeming inside the bathroom and literally through the glass partitioners of the tub. I was initially genuinely scared for his safety. I walked in, finding him dazed but otherwise alright. I remember that day like yesterday. I stood there over him and looked down at him and told him that I was not a small kid anymore and that if he came to me again, I would beat him and let everyone he knew know just what he was and doing and how they'd know he was a coward and still got himself handed by his own kid. He knew after that that he could not physically intimidate me, but his mouth became more of his weapon. I guess I never forgave my father, a person I see as a pathetic, unedcuated, stupid fool who is merely a male and a not a real man. Coward. Narcissist. Emotional parasite. Charlatan. These are the words that come to mind when I think of him. He use to wish my mother cancer and hope she would end up in a wheelchair. Both of these happened. I hate the man. God forgive me, but I cannot help but feel it should be him with the fate he wished on my mom and not her. But now he has become even more pathetic. He's been completely reliant upon my mom and us for everything. He cannot--nor ever has--coped with life's difficulties, even the slightest ones, which he would take out on us like the coward fool he is. But my sister and I have showed him patience and he has been genuinely stricken with guilt for the things he said to my mom, even asking my sister if he "did this." Now that my mother's condition has worsen, he's become worse in temperment, and his old foul-mouth ways have returned with a vengence. A couple days ago, I was visiting him and he began taking out his anxieties on me and when I told him to calm down he cursed and called me names , I became instantly hotheaded, and told him to shut his mouth and called him ungrateful that should be suffering the fate he wished on my mom. Again he called me the same thing and I warned him I would slapped his mouth if he said it again. He did with a smile, and I slapped him hard across the face to where he cried. And I admit, I didn't feel the slightest bad about it. But of course that is not true. I was for that moment, ever vile disgusting thing that pathetic old fool before me was and is. And I gave into it and ashamed of it. I don't want to be anything like that poor excuse of manhood, including his irrational, self-projecting denials and turn-arounds. I did wrong, and it getting angry and physical made me not only feel weak but weak-minded. I should be above that--and better than him. I wasn't. When my mom dies, I will not have anything more to do with this little man and could care less for him. I am left now as an adult still feeling like that defenseless kid growing up with this pathetic monster. It's so pathetic. I have no fear of him now but just deep disgust and anger. And I don't know how to get rid of it--and want to badly. I ask God to help me with this. I love my family, and for the life of me, I would rather die than ever say a tenth of the horrible things to any of my love ones that this man has said to us. Growing up with this man made me feel oddly abandoned even though he was physically present in our lifes, emotional and spiritually robbed of our childhoods in many ways, and feeling unloved and unworthy. Even though now an adult, I can articulate and intellectually understand these emotional sources rationally, I am still left dealing with them, as is my sister. I guess, now after this long email, I just needed to write it out. I apologize for its length and rambling nature, but I see too I'm asking for prayers to any good God fearing people out there. There is still that child in me that remembers well the God of his youth and even now as an adult, there are days when I awake and breath in that first conscious breath of air that I have that same joyful contemplation of God's presence, or when I come home late and see the night time sky, I know God is all around. It is a deep, unshakable feeling of profound conenction. But I am still dealing with much unresolved anger and even hate. And I don't want these things in my heart. I want to be a good man. A loving man. A kind man. A genlte man. A strong man, emotionally, pyschologically, and spiritually. A God-fearing man. Please pray for me and my family. God bless.
  7. I was reading a thread where one person opined that God does not cause sickness, that things like heart attacks just happen with age. I did not interject a different opinion, as it might have diverted the threads actual topic, which was not a discussion of the theology of sickness or God's role in things we consider unpleasant. In any case, my mind jumped to the question, is it true that God does not cause sickness? A number of passages came to my mind in vague terms, so I looked them up to see them anew. The first that came to my mind was Exodus 4:11: The LORD said to him, "Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? while on that same page I noticed this: Exodus 4: 6 The LORD furthermore said to him, "Now put your hand into your bosom." So he put his hand into his bosom, and when he took it out, behold, his hand was leprous like snow. and thinking of Moses, I recalled Num 12: 9 : So the anger of the LORD burned against them and He departed. 10 But when the cloud had withdrawn from over the tent, behold, Miriam was leprous, as white as snow. Now, we might come up with the idea that these leprosy one are exceptions and I would agree, these were special cases for special purposes. Still, if this is not God causing them who is? I know that some will say ( at least to themselves if not here on the forums) : "but that was the old testament God, He got angry a lot, but He mellowed out for the New Testament". So let's go there: In the book of acts (you porbably know the story, if not, look it up) we see: acts 5:4 Why is it that you have conceived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to men but to God." 5 And as he heard these words, Ananias fell down and breathed his last . . . ... Then Peter said to her, "Why is it that you have agreed together to put the Spirit of the Lord to the test? Behold, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out as well." 10And immediately she fell at his feet and breathed her last, and the young men came in and found her dead, and they carried her out and buried her beside her husband. Now I know this is not sickness, it is only death after all, and it doesn't say that God did it, but I doubt Peter did it either, do we just suppose it was a coincidence that they died? Since they wern't sick, let's look elswhere: 1 cor 11 28 But a man must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not judge the body rightly. 30 For this reason many among you are weak and sick, and a number have died. Again, I know you sharp theological lawyers can point out it does not say God did it, moving on . . . john 9:2 And His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?" 3Jesus answered, "It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him. I don't know how you understand that, but that sounds to me like God had this man born blind, to serve His puropses, and why not, after all, Pauls points out in Romans 9: The thing molded will not say to the molder, "Why did you make me like this," will it? 21Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use? 22What if God, although willing to demonstrate His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction? This last one is not an example of God making people ill, malformed, or killing them, it is about His sovereignty His absolute right to do with His creation, just as He pleases, and not have to answer to His creation for His actions. If God does these things, He does them for His reasons, His righteius reasons, and whether we like them or not, they are good. You know, when a child does something wrong, really wrong, it is not uncommon for the mother to go into a state of denial. "Oh, my Johnny would never do anything like that, he is a good boy. A man commits some greivous sin, a serious crime, often those who know him do not believe it, they want for him to be innocent, but they have never really known him as he is sometimes, they just see one side of him. Sometimes a woman willk marry a man, all her friends warned her about him, that he is not right for her, there is something about him that they can see, that is not good, but she is blinded by her love for him, often to regret it once she gets to know him in marriage. If these cases are true in human relationships, how much more true is it when we want to come to God's defense when He is accused of wrongdoing? The problem is not in us wanting to defend Him, it is that we refuse to see Him as He is, and we remake Him into a God of how we think he ought to be. It is not that we are wrong to defend Him, it is that we are wrong to think of what he does, as wrong, not matter how it appears to us. God, is always right, in Him no evil exists. Now, back to the original comment that got me going in the first place - That God does not do these thing, and illness can come about just becuase the body deteriorates with age . . . if that is true, and I am not denying that, why is it the case in the first place. Is not the deterioration of aging, a part of the curse, that God placed on the creation in the first place? If so, how can we say, God did not do it? It is o.k. I think that we can say that some things that we do not like, are God's doing, but we mustn't accuse God of wrong doing, just because we do not like that outcome. Thoughts and comments invited, agreement or contrary opinions, even valid correction would be awesome, so, do I have this all wrong?
  8. I was reading a thread where one person opined that God does not cause sickness, that things like heart attacks just happen with age. I did not interject a different opinion, as it might have diverted the threads actual topic, which was not a discussion of the theology of sickness or God's role in things we consider unpleasant. In any case, my mind jumped to the question, is it true that God does not cause sickness? A number of passages came to my mind in vague terms, so I looked them up to see them anew. The first that came to my mind was Exodus 4:11: The LORD said to him, "Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? while on that same page I noticed this: Exodus 4: 6 The LORD furthermore said to him, "Now put your hand into your bosom." So he put his hand into his bosom, and when he took it out, behold, his hand was leprous like snow. and thinking of Moses, I recalled Num 12: 9 : So the anger of the LORD burned against them and He departed. 10 But when the cloud had withdrawn from over the tent, behold, Miriam was leprous, as white as snow. Now, we might come up with the idea that these leprosy one are exceptions and I would agree, these were special cases for special purposes. Still, if this is not God causing them who is? I know that some will say ( at least to themselves if not here on the forums) : "but that was the old testament God, He got angry a lot, but He mellowed out for the New Testament". So let's go there: In the book of acts (you porbably know the story, if not, look it up) we see: acts 5:4 Why is it that you have conceived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to men but to God." 5 And as he heard these words, Ananias fell down and breathed his last . . . ... Then Peter said to her, "Why is it that you have agreed together to put the Spirit of the Lord to the test? Behold, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out as well." 10And immediately she fell at his feet and breathed her last, and the young men came in and found her dead, and they carried her out and buried her beside her husband. Now I know this is not sickness, it is only death after all, and it doesn't say that God did it, but I doubt Peter did it either, do we just suppose it was a coincidence that they died? Since they wern't sick, let's look elswhere: 1 cor 11 28 But a man must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not judge the body rightly. 30 For this reason many among you are weak and sick, and a number have died. Again, I know you sharp theological lawyers can point out it does not say God did it, moving on . . . john 9:2 And His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?" 3Jesus answered, "It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him. I don't know how you understand that, but that sounds to me like God had this man born blind, to serve His puropses, and why not, after all, Pauls points out in Romans 9: The thing molded will not say to the molder, "Why did you make me like this," will it? 21Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use? 22What if God, although willing to demonstrate His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction? This last one is not an example of God making people ill, malformed, or killing them, it is about His sovereignty His absolute right to do with His creation, just as He pleases, and not have to answer to His creation for His actions. If God does these things, He does them for His reasons, His righteius reasons, and whether we like them or not, they are good. You know, when a child does something wrong, really wrong, it is not uncommon for the mother to go into a state of denial. "Oh, my Johnny would never do anything like that, he is a good boy. A man commits some greivous sin, a serious crime, often those who know him do not believe it, they want for him to be innocent, but they have never really known him as he is sometimes, they just see one side of him. Sometimes a woman willk marry a man, all her friends warned her about him, that he is not right for her, there is something about him that they can see, that is not good, but she is blinded by her love for him, often to regret it once she gets to know him in marriage. If these cases are true in human relationships, how much more true is it when we want to come to God's defense when He is accused of wrongdoing? The problem is not in us wanting to defend Him, it is that we refuse to see Him as He is, and we remake Him into a God of how we think he ought to be. It is not that we are wrong to defend Him, it is that we are wrong to think of what he does, as wrong, not matter how it appears to us. God, is always right, in Him no evil exists. Now, back to the original comment that got me going in the first place - That God does not do these thing, and illness can come about just becuase the body deteriorates with age . . . if that is true, and I am not denying that, why is it the case in the first place. Is not the deterioration of aging, a part of the curse, that God placed on the creation in the first place? If so, how can we say, God did not do it? It is o.k. I think that we can say that some things that we do not like, are God's doing, but we mustn't accuse God of wrong doing, just because we do not like that outcome. Thoughts and comments invited, agreement or contrary opinions, even valid correction would be awesome, so, do I have this all wrong?
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