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Im at the point I just want to give up. Theres no way anyone can survive being a christian alone people are social creatures and those social connectioms help us to weather life's storms. I've tried at church , joined groups and just be apart of things, introduce myself to people, invite people out.( volunteered).I even do this at work. But nothing comes of it And it put me in a state of depressiom because i have no one to share my feelings and thoughts with. I had online friends but i feel im always in their life until things look up for them and they for gwt about me.. Thats happened numerous times... Idk... The loneliness is driving me nearly to suicide becahse there's no end to it.. I try to be personable and i get rejected i dont fit in at church( been to 3. 1 was hurt in a bad way, 2nd too small and people set in their ways, 3rd too big and im just a face in the crowd) or in the world ( coworkers smoke, drink , are drama filled and messy) Its even more painful when God is incredibly silent, not speaking or guiding..just incredibly quiet and not really answering prayers.. Idk its to the point i just pray for others because i dont believe or trust God will help me. Seeing as Ive been praying for simple things, like just a christian friend..for years and it hasnt been met .. The only solace I have is art...it calms me and helps with my depression, However due to it..it kept me from drawing and painting for a long time... But now i feel well enough to paint again.