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Hello, I'm about to vent but before I do I know what the Bible says about impure and lustful thoughts. I also know that no one is perfect. However without any background information, if your goal was to find a parter who was strong in faith, would you purse a relationship with someone who's mind has been soaking up filth on the Internet for years? My whole life I've dreamed of marrying a good Christian man who's as strong in his faith as I am or stronger. I've watched all my friends get married and start raising families and at 27 years old I still haven't found Mr right. Are my expectations to high? Does he even exist? I don't know. I've shamelessly preyed about this topic since about the time I hit puberty and became interested in dating. I'm fairly sure I attract the wrong type of guys and intimidate the good ones because the majority of men I've dated were put off once they decided I was actually serious about waiting until marriage. I've been in 3 serious relationships that lasted more than a few months but they didn't work out for one reason or another. I met James on Christian mingle and I've really fallen for him. We've been dating for around 6 months and he's a joy to spend time with. We share many of the same beliefs and even though he isn't a virgin he seemd like he was pleased that I was waiting for marriage. That seems to be something alot of guys try to tolerate more than actually praise me about or encourage me to continue. He comes from a Christian family who are wonderful people everything seemed like it was perfect. I've actually been really hoping he would propose to me soon. So the other day he texted me saying he wasn't feeling well and was taking the rest of the day off work. I decided to suprise him and took the rest of the day off too. I picked up some stuff to make chicken soupe and a couple movies and headed to his apartment. To my surprise I walked in to find him on his couch thoroughly enjoying himself to Internet fantasy girls. I allowed the awkward moment to stretch out as long as possible as he made himself presentable and then we talked about it. For quite a while. It turns out he does this multiple times a week and has been for years. Now I've had weak moments myself on occasion but I can't believe he has this sort of addiction. I'm so foolish, I really just can't believe he's been filling his head with filth all this time instead of saving himself for me. I don't know if this is a sign from God that he isn't meant for me or if maybe I'm 27 years old and single and should deal with it. I'm so hurt by this and I can't even really explain why to myself its a betrayal. Maybe it's my sin of pride idk but I'm proud I haven't given in to eurges of the flesh and lord knows it hasn't been easy for me to fight the temptation all these years. Then to find out he's going off and playing with himself whenever the mood strikes him after all we said about our faith and living as god wants us too. I'm rambling I know, I've just known him as a godly man all this time and I find out he's been fantasizing about other women the whole time I've known him. It really makes me feel cheap and at the moment I'd be embarrassed to stand before the Lord with him. I'm really emotional right now and maybe I'm being crazy and overzelious but I feel like I'd be less in the eyes of God if pursued this relationship. That's my gut instinct anyways. I've grown so attached to him though and I'm so tired of being alone. There is a big part of me that's saying I should just accept it because no one is perfect or maybe even try to help him break the habit. I really wish I could talk to some of my friends about this but the embarrassment would kill me for sure. Lord please put your arms around me and sooth my heart. Help me to do your will as I walk the path.