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Hey. ive been dwelling on blasphemous thoughts about the Holy Spirit all day. i has been tormented by them for months but spiritual warfare. but these have originated in my mind out of fear and I’ve been thinking them for days. im terrified incase I’ve committed the unpardonable sin. im scared incase I’ve lost God. i love God with all my heart and all my soul. the thoughts have been calling the HS demon and devil out of obsession It feels like I’ve lost him. my head has been disrespectful towards God all day almost like getting angry at him because of this. ive felt condemned all day. this is all me because I was away all day places. im worried incase I’ve lost him. I love God so much with all my heart and soul. i can’t hear from God (soft still voice) so i don’t know what he thinks about this Everytime I pray my head has an urge to think terrifying things like blot my n.m. out of the book of life and selling my s..l and blasphemous things because I try not to think them. im so worried incase I’ve lost him. i had a dream last night where he was angry and it scares me. i feel like he’s not with me ?? I love God and Jesus with all my heart and soul. This isn’t an attack jesus said WHOEVER blasphemes the holy spirt (Christian or non Christian) will never be forgiven. I’ve been dwelling on blasphemous thoughts towards the Holy Spirit for days. I want to worship and serve God and glorify praise know and love him. my head just thinks blasphemous things I’m terrified incase I’ve lost him please help ??????

I'm sure you all get a lot of questions about this, so I figure you all could help. Just a little back ground on me. I was saved (or so I believed so) when I was young. I've been through some rough times recently, and I looked to the Bible for comfort. Then I came across the verse mentioning the unpardonable sin. Since I have been into a certain sin I have been trying to get out to no avail. I ask so many times for a way out no matter what. I liked to place verses about forgiveness as wallpaper on my phone. I searched for one on the internet to find the unpardonable sin. I was concerned that I had done so due to curses against God that had crossed my mind. I later found out that what had crossed my mind was not the unpardonable sin. Fast forward about 2 weeks (my time may be off). I decided to look at the passage again for reasons I can't remember. I read the passage, and in my stupidity did not take the warning seriously. Curses once again swarmed my mind (I honestly do not remember what all they were, but I'm scared it could have been thoughts similar to what the Pharisees said). I remember having an absolute feeling of despair come across be, and I became upset once again. After this I can remember feeling this sudden strange feeling that I can't describe. Was that the Holy Spirit leaving me? I want to be forgiven more than anything, but can I? I'm afraid it was me that thought those thoughts because I wasn't thinking strait for a bit. I fear that I'm my stupidity I though the unpardonable sin. This sparked a dark spiral of thoughts in my head. I met with the youth minister at the church, and we discussed it. He said that the unpardonable sin was attributing the work of Jesus to Satan. I agree with this definition of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I remember I felt relieved by his words, and went on; however, the worry was not all gone. Again with the dark spiral of evil thoughts. One thing that particularly crossed my mind was (I do not want to state the first thought it because the phrase alone scares me) "Insert phrase that says the glory of God was actually the glory of.......you can guess" then I thought "maybe it was" then "oh gosh no no no that's not true". Then despair came across me. Again the dark spiral of bad thoughts. To this day I have not found genuine lasting peace. I don't remember the vast majority of my thought, but I'm almost certain that one of those evil thoughts was me commuting the unpardonable sin. I still despise myself to this day for my stupidity in that moment following my reading of the unpardonable sin chapter a 2nd time. How could I have been so stupid as to loose reverence for the word of God, and not take it seriously. I am almost certain that because of this I have committed the unpardonable sin. For the year and a half or so I have been living in a constant state of fear that I committed the unpardonable sin. I can't believe I thought those things, and I hate myself for it. I'm afraid what I did was kinda intentional (but without meaning). Let me say I do not agree with those thoughts, but I'm afraid I allowed them to enter my mind because I was just plain stupid (or done in the heat of the moment). Honestly I'm not sure if I knew 100% what I was actually doing. I just kinda happened. I didn't think about it. I've been researching this topic a lot, and I have come across so many interpretations. I do agree with the idea that the unpardonable sin is giving Satan credit for God's work. I am terrified, and scared out of my mind. Not a day has gone that I haven't worried about it. I'm afraid of my spiritual condition, and so depressed. To this day I'm having crazy thoughts, and I'm scared I'm entertaining them. I also don't feel convicted like I use to, but I still feel conviction. It's just different now. Or is my fear of committing it conviction? I don't agree with my sin by an means, so don't get me wrong their. I'm also having a hard (if not impossible) time feeling God's presence (though I have a couple of times since). I have spoken with the head pastor of our church, and he believes that if such a sin could be committed today that I have not committed it simply because I'm worried. He is also convinced that God has a big plan for me, but I'm afraid God has given up on me. Can I ever get out of this worry? Could this sin unsave me? Does it mean I wasn't saved to begin with? I want to come to Jesus more than anything, but I'm afraid he won't accept me. I'm afraid the desire to come to Christ is from me, and not the Holy Spirit. Have I committed the unpardonable sin? Do I have hope, or am I hopelessly condemned? Is the Lord going to reject me? Before someone says this I do have OCD, but I don't know how that could play in. I don't think it did. Also after revisiting the event many times in my mind I can't remember what I thought, but I'm afraid it may have been one of the thoughts above. I didn't really understand what I was thinking, but aren't words alone bad enough? I'm so scared please help me!

Please pray for me. With me. For my head is hung in shame as I ask for help. 3 months of bad luck has turned my world upside down. I am just a few short steps away from being homeless and in debt with 2 kids. I need a loan. i have started campaigns for it but I'd much rather borrow and pay back than be given a handout. But I am in desperation and at this Moment, there is little I won't do to keep food in my children's stomachs and a roof over their heads. I have no credit. I've always bought everything up front. No payday loans. No short term loans with 800% interest. Just a loan to be paid off over say a year or so. Or a personal lender to set their own deadlines. I'm desperate at the moment. I've never had to borrow from anybody before. So this is a horrible feeling for me and I'm humiliated by it. More details that won't fit in this. im in need of prayers. I'm in need of advice. And I am desperate for help. I know that I must hold onto faith, but I feel it slipping away. Once prideful, my humility has my head hung in shame as I beg for help and pray I have the strength to hold on to my faith.