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Showing results for tags 'psychiatric ward'.
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"All for Today" I wandered the streets naked hearing only the beats of my heart overflowing with a sixth sense of urgency; emergency; clergymen; demons; I fainted. Time had ceased. My mind was creased. Cursed with the truth, the lies twisted my hindsight; the sight lit my foresight and the now was one huge stooge ready to fall. It was a desperate call and I knew not who to listen to or who to tell, my apparently tortured loneliness was living hell. I eventually landed in a psychiatric ward where all my kin were studied as a backwards horde. The call was still ringing in my ears but I was stuck in tangents of a concentration camp. The antics of my fellow prisoners of war only proved to me I was in on the score and was losing; missing in action with only my (innocent of the facts) family to protect me. That was a decade ago now and how I came through is miraculous. ...yet that time is not written off, it still haunts me to this day, a reality I rarely speak of... and that is all I will burden you with today. -Gregory KJ Brumwell 2004
Open Letter to Rock Bottom Dear Down in the Dumps, You are not in a nice place to visit or indefinitely live. I know, I have been there too many times. Since then I have burned my passport and remain grounded, gladly. The local authorities and citizens do not understand my alien presence. They cannot keep this message out. I will explain later. You will not complain sooner. Listen, look and warm yourself up to light versus darkness. Defect from that infected wasteland. Walk this way for freedom! Before I believed in anything worth mentioning, I desperately decided to buy into "Allen Carr's 'Easy Way to Stop Smoking.'" Heck, he wrote I could even smoke as I read the book! I took a leap of faith out the hole of butts and ash. I actually enjoyed and laughed at old cues to spark a dart. Nic fits were only a fading memory of how and what I used to be like. I had been deprogrammed from doom and reprogrammed for life. Thank goodness, because all drags from cigarettes had become depressing slave wage reminders of death. I could not prove or understand it but I believed it had worked, setting me free. I see that now was a good sign, open door and ray of hope. Major problems had potential solutions. I believed things could be better. Before I met and surrendered to Jesus Christ, I waged war with myself and the world. I abused my being with alcohol, marijuana and drug experimentation. I sat much of my life in front of a screen playing questionable games. I cheated on God, my future wife and myself with pornography and masturbation. I was living the bad dream of a wicked party scene. My heart had holes, my mind was free for the taking, my body was in ruin and my soul was lost and bound. Mental health issues coincided with the start of all of the above. By my fourth psychiatric ward stay I actually enjoyed doing my time and running the show. Pride, lust, anger, gluttony and slothfulness as deadly sins were aiming to win. It was either end up a casualty of spiritual warfare or be saved by divine intervention. Enter my Saviour, Lord, teacher and protector. I read the Bible out of curiousity. I thought I should for its major influence on the world and world view. Believing and in it does not change that in any case. Tragedy struck when my parents' dog died in my arms. What I was doing with my life and would come after hit me hard. God had spoken, my deaf ears had been opened. I quit pot on the spot. I mourned Baloo's death and a life I was not getting. I compensated by binge drinking. I started getting drunk in the morning. I was listening to Harvesters FM, a Christian radio station constantly. They suggested AA, Alcoholics Anonymous. I went and got on the sober wagon. Gaming got the boot. Pornography and masturbation were confessed, apologized for, repented from and rebuked. All of the above related to asking Jesus Christ into my heart and life through a simple, sincere to the point prayer. The Bible was now more than history and what Christianity was based on. It was God's word speaking to me, changing my life for His pure glory, perfect plan and purpose. Not the story of my life, but Jesus Christ's death for the church as his wife. It is thee book that's truth never changes as always relevant. Now I am part of the book of life, hallelujah! Not the end, Gregory Keith Jonathan Brumwell 2018 Testimony Saved by Jesus Christ as of December 18, 2016, GKJB-1973 11 Very truly I tell you, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. - John 3:11 New International Version (NIV) 31 “If I testify about myself, my testimony is not true. - John 5:31 New International Version (NIV) 7 He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. - John 1:7 New International Version (NIV)