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I have a hidden berserker in me. Sure, I have righteous anger sometimes. But the way I react and express my feelings comes out scary, mean and can cause a scene. Lately I have prayed on the spot about it. This calms and grounds me effectively. The prayer starts off in an angry tone then improves, having and humbling and disciplining effect. Talking things out with trusted people helps too. I cannot always employ these strategies and could use more suggestions. Then again, I get angry at things I should not. I am in the wrong. It does not even occur to me to use the above strategies then. I am too caught up in my own selfish moment. I pray after the fact. I try to apologize to the people involved afterwards. I only do it again eventually. I seem to have a long fuse but an overblown powder keg. I even get mad at myself. I beat myself up over all sorts of things. I believe it to be a form of self abuse. My theory is I would rather take things out on myself than others. I might become indignant rather than address whatever the issue is. My anger symptoms must have a rooted cause that I am avoiding or not even aware of. All of the above is frustrating, annoying and troublesome. I will start to pray about this. One specific request I have been making of God recently is for Him to take control of my emotions. Identifying this problem and wanting to change is a good sign and start, I figure. Any and all advice, scripture, prayers, comments or constructive criticism is appreciated. God bless you, GregoryB 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. - Psalm 37:8 New International Version (NIV)
I'm rotating the Lies of the enemy As flashbacks of the past pound On my beating heart... You say you love me But like a scared child I plunge underneath my blanket And my tears flow on my pillows... Will I ever learn That you do love me? Will I ever learn to drown my idols? And walk by faith and not by sight? Waiting for the day when You'll get sick and tired of my complaints, But you still tell me that I'm chosen- How can it be Lord? Don't you see how many times I've failed? I'm angry at myself As I stare at my reflection... I don't see Christ in me, Only my selfishness I see... But you remind me That you'll never let go And that you will heal ALL of my Disease- So you take me by the hand And whisper that there's Love In your chastisement... I close my eyes to the suffering of others When I only see My own Troubles I need the blinders to be lifted off of my eyes So that I will guard my heart and be compassionate And see your blessings around me Oh Lord, how I need you... In repentance I weep, In faith I shall stand...